How bad do you want it? Enough to go "all in?"

[the5thpgriff]

Can anyone share their experience with having kids and going "all in"? I have 3 year old twins (love them to death but not planned) and I'm made to feel like shit when I spend "too much" time in the basement working... I feel like there is a fine line I'll have to straddle but I can't seem to find the balance.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[PeeVee]

Can anyone share their experience with having kids and going "all in"? I have 3 year old twins (love them to death but not planned) and I'm made to feel like shit when I spend "too much" time in the basement working... I feel like there is a fine line I'll have to straddle but I can't seem to find the balance.

Sounds like you need more support from your partner. I went all in and my wife and I have a 1 year old. We have an agreement that during the day and nights I am free to work on the business as long as we spend at least 2 hours together and one weekend day. She knows that if I fail we will be homeless in 5 months. Of course that isn't going to happen but talk about feeling enough discomfort for both of us to be motivated. Now there have been days where she would like more time together, attention, etc. and I have had to have discussions of the short term compromise for long term gain, much more freedom and time together, etc.

You significant other is either with you or not. If not, then you may need to move on. Tough conversations. Tough decisions. Thankfully my wife was my biggest cheerleader. If not, I couldn't have continued the relationship at this stage of my life.

You will figure it out.

 

[CarrieW]

When my kids were little they were my main focus. There was no mommy to hand them off to. Mommy was me. Daddy works full time plus. I read N did what I could when I could but I basically postponed my fastlane journey for them. If I had a spouse to take up the slack it may well have been very different. There's a saying don't be so buzy making a living that you forget to make a life. My kids are 14 -11 now and I am finally ready to go all in. You do not get a second chance to raise your kids. And a chunk of money when they are older WILL NOT REPLACE what you missed. Thats a promise

 

[Bouncing Soul]

RE kids, the grind etc- My opinion is you want them to catch you doing what you hope they do.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Guest24480]

Like Eric Thomas' famous words: "When you want to succeed as bad as you wanna breathe, then you'll be successful"

 

[marklov]

I am overcoming some of the things that are holding me back
but why is it so hard to let go?

The procrastination and entertaining thoughts
of what my life could be like.

The feeling of looking at some of the finer things in life and saying to myself
maybe that's too ambitious .

Paralysis by over analysis...
I combed the hell out of this site for what I need and more but why cant I start?

Parting with my friend whom I have known for so long
we just want different things in life and my family who understands
nothing about what I want to accomplish.. so at the end of it all its just me and a laptop.

Moving does seems like a good idea and I dont know if this sounds strange but the oxygen in my home feels old....

Really needed to get this off my chest I am beyond tired of who I see in the mirror every morning .

 

[randomnumber314]

Great thread. I was talking with an employee and mentioned that I might start a crew in North Dakota this winter, asked him if he'd be interested in going up there. His response was that it would be impossible because he wouldn't be able to come home and let his dog out of the house....

It's literally twice the money I'm paying him now, but he can't because his dog has to pee. Jesus, what an excuse for mediocrity.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

When I graduate college, if I'm not already (As i'd assume to be, because i'm working hard every day) rocking a self-employed and/or fastlane venture, i'm up and moving. To where? I don't know. I'll figure it out, but it won't be in the same state I've lived in all my life, it won't be with my family, parents, relatives or anything. Change of venue = huge for success. My friend/life coach tells me that all the time. This thread tells me it as well.

 

[Kreedos Phoenix]

How bad do you want it? Enough to go "all in?"

View attachment 6820

One of the biggest decisions I made in my life was one that had nothing to do with business, money, or the internet. It was one that changed my life forever. It was my choice to move from Chicago to Arizona. While a difficult choice in logistics, it was simple to make in spirit.

That simple decision changed everything. My outlook. My motivation. My mind. My circle of friends. My metamorphosis from young adult to adult. Elimination of distractions. I went all in. For you energy/law of attraction fans, living in the right place can allow you to resonate at the right frequency which fosters the art of getting things done. I can't explain this. It just FEELS right. Some of you who have made moves, will know exactly what I'm talking about.

I see a lot of people here complaining about where they live. They hate it. They hate the weather. They hate the people. They hate the available jobs. They hate the city.

And yet, despite all the things they hate about where they live, they continue to live there.

WTF is wrong with you? Why stay? Here's why: Fear. Comfort. Security. My lease. My mortgage. My job. My family. My this. My that. Blah blah blah. It's always some excuse, usually, one that holds zero legitimacy.

If you don't like where you live, you have the power to MOVE.

The only thing stopping you, is you and the weak narrative you keep telling yourself. What's stopping you is your preference for comfort and security over the daring unknown. Your dreams ask you to make bold moves. Staying put and status quo is not BOLD, it's more of the same mediocrity.

I moved to AZ with $900 and a car that didn't have a functional transmission. I shacked up in a studio apartment. I was willing to wash dishes, flip burgers, and drive cabs. I didn't care.

Moving to Arizona and succeeding was MORE IMPORTANT to me than anything. I wanted it BAD. I wanted it more than being "comfortable" in an OK job that was safe and secure.

Until the pain of living in your current location exceeds the perceived pain of your "all in" move to somewhere new, you will never make the move. The fact is, I'd rather live in Arizona and flip burgers than live in Chicago making $50K/year at some mid-level job. I wanted it THAT BAD.

Question is, how bad do YOU want it? Enough to do what others won't? If not, you're falling in line with the crowd. Fastlaners step away from the crowd.

For all of you thinking about moving to somewhere new, just f*cking do it. The decision is really simple. Don't fear the logistics -- you will figure it out. Step back and stop listening to the BS excuses and faux narratives that you keep telling yourself-- they're lies designed to keep you "safe and secure".

In order to progress to a greater existence, stop the lying and start the living.

Moving from Fresno, CA to Phoenix AZ was not only a great decision, but a major accomplishment of my life. I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew it was time to leave even though everyone doubted me...People dont tend to leave Fresno. Its a very crabs in a bucket type of place thats tight knit and segregated. I knew I was destined for much more. Anyway, love this and its a reminder to stay entrenched in the process...!!!

Peace!

 

[Bila]

So timely ....i live in Ottawa Canada, -25 right now....hate it, very far from family ( but would not move too close neither ....... I am thinking about it every day ....Spain ? Dubaï ? US ?
It's worth mentionning that i already left everything behind 10 years ago and immigrated to Canada ...with no family, no friends, NOTHING ....after 10 years...i feel it's time to move somewhere ......warmer

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

I just find it interesting on so many levels how powerful moving can be. For school, I only moved about an hour away from my parents house / hometown but even that was really incredible. The things it does to you, I can't even begin to explain. I can only imagine how awesome it will be to up and move permanently to another state, thousands of miles away from anyone I know. All preconceived notions, judgments, fears of what others think, being held back, bad choices, decisions, and everything you've done is GONE, left behind. Everything left behind to start fresh. Not that there's a bunch of shit you're running away from or something, it's just a shift in perspective to your new life..

 

[GUTTA BOB]

Everyone that I've met who has lived in the Chi has told me they hated the place esp. during winter season.

 

[Kinsey6287]

@MJ DeMarco

I read your original post to this thread and nothing else.

This strikes a special chord with me.

I am not doubting at all that it took an incredible amount of will power and strength to pick yourself up and move to a totally different place on earth to set up shop and start from new.

But,... as I sit here at the Charlotte Airport... drinking away my sorrows, your one phrase strikes a chord....

You left your family...

Please describe what family... Your parents? Your grandparents, aunts & uncles, brothers and sisters??? Were you married?? Did you have children??

I ask that last question (did you have children) specifically because you are calling some of us weak for not having the will power to leave our children!?

I am currently going through a divorce (trying to figure out a way to turn the divorce process into a fastlane process thanks to you, but I think the lawyers have already though of that...)

I am absolutely IN LOVE with San Diego. I travel there frequently with my current job. I am fortunate enough to make 115k after being in the Marine Corps for 11 years and being blown up in Af-crap-istan.

But... The ONLY thing that keeps me from detaching from where I am is my son. He is the coolest little man I know. He loves planes, and transformers and he is even SO cool that he goes up to hot women in the mall and asks if they'd like to meet his daddy.

So,... I dare to ask you... MJ DeMarco... The Dale Earnhardt of the Fastlane.... Did you really have THAT MUCH to leave???

I've been in the depths of hell of Iraq and Af-crap-istan (4 tours between the two) and know to the core of my being that I am here for a reason today. But,... not matter how many great ideas pop into my head, or how many inventions I think would benefit a specific industry... I would never leave my son to pursue it.

I'll be "that guy" to challenge any parent on this forum to claim that they would do it.

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate and discontent for this post... but so be it. I've respected MJ on every aspect of ever word he has written... but not that phrase. I am by no means saying that it wasn't an incredible feat to go from nothing to a millionaire like you have... but to call us out like this "How bad do you want it" and then claim that anyone should be able to leave his or her current state to pursue it is blasphemy!

But you know what...

Just like Tim... I don't give a shit... (if you don't understand the google "tim doesn't give a shit")

I WANT IT.... MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.... But... my son is where I draw the line....

How bad do you want it? Enough to go "all in?"

View attachment 6820

WTF is wrong with you? Why stay? Here's why: Fear. Comfort. Security. My lease. My mortgage. My job. My family. My this. My that. Blah blah blah. It's always some excuse, usually, one that holds zero legitimacy.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[randomnumber314]

@MJ DeMarco

I read your original post to this thread and nothing else.

This strikes a special chord with me.

I am not doubting at all that it took an incredible amount of will power and strength to pick yourself up and move to a totally different place on earth to set up shop and start from new.

But,... as I sit here at the Charlotte Airport... drinking away my sorrows, your one phrase strikes a chord....

You left your family...

Please describe what family... Your parents? Your grandparents, aunts & uncles, brothers and sisters??? Were you married?? Did you have children??

I ask that last question (did you have children) specifically because you are calling some of us weak for not having the will power to leave our children!?

I am currently going through a divorce (trying to figure out a way to turn the divorce process into a fastlane process thanks to you, but I think the lawyers have already though of that...)

I am absolutely IN LOVE with San Diego. I travel there frequently with my current job. I am fortunate enough to make 115k after being in the Marine Corps for 11 years and being blown up in Af-crap-istan.

But... The ONLY thing that keeps me from detaching from where I am is my son. He is the coolest little man I know. He loves planes, and transformers and he is even SO cool that he goes up to hot women in the mall and asks if they'd like to meet his daddy.

So,... I dare to ask you... MJ DeMarco... The Dale Earnhardt of the Fastlane.... Did you really have THAT MUCH to leave???

I've been in the depths of hell of Iraq and Af-crap-istan (4 tours between the two) and know to the core of my being that I am here for a reason today. But,... not matter how many great ideas pop into my head, or how many inventions I think would benefit a specific industry... I would never leave my son to pursue it.

I'll be "that guy" to challenge any parent on this forum to claim that they would do it.

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate and discontent for this post... but so be it. I've respected MJ on every aspect of ever word he has written... but not that phrase. I am by no means saying that it wasn't an incredible feat to go from nothing to a millionaire like you have... but to call us out like this "How bad do you want it" and then claim that anyone should be able to leave his or her current state to pursue it is blasphemy!

But you know what...

Just like Tim... I don't give a shit... (if you don't understand the google "tim doesn't give a shit")

I WANT IT.... MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.... But... my son is where I draw the line....

So...don't leave your son. Moving was just one example (from MJ's story) of how he made a change in his life, that others thought was crazy.

I don't know who would advocate leaving your kid behind.

Maybe your specific story doesn't need you to move away from your son, but to just change up your life enough to get your mind right.

 

[Oswalito]

So timely ....i live in Ottawa Canada, -25 right now....hate it, very far from family ( but would not move too close neither ....... I am thinking about it every day ....Spain ? Dubaï ? US ?
It's worth mentionning that i already left everything behind 10 years ago and immigrated to Canada ...with no family, no friends, NOTHING ....after 10 years...i feel it's time to move somewhere ......warmer

hahaha yesssss somewhere warmer! I really love montreal though..... if only it could be warmer during winter. I'd be happy with that.

 

[craig1928]

A timely reminder! just booked a flight to Chiang Mai with the aim of checking out the so called 'digital nomad' scene, should be interesting.

“Screw it, just get on and do it.” -RICHARD BRANSON

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Formless]

@Kinsey6287 Perhaps you should suspend your binarism for a bit.

 

[AntEmpire]

When I graduate college, if I'm not already (As i'd assume to be, because i'm working hard every day) rocking a self-employed and/or fastlane venture, i'm up and moving. To where? I don't know. I'll figure it out, but it won't be in the same state I've lived in all my life, it won't be with my family, parents, relatives or anything. Change of venue = huge for success. My friend/life coach tells me that all the time. This thread tells me it as well.

This is similar to me. One of my biggest fears is living and dying in the same place I was born. I've only lived outside of chicago a few times in my life and no more than 3 years each time. I don't know where I want to go at the moment, but I intend for my next move to be permanent. One thing I noticed early in my life is that family members who moved out of Chicago are doing A LOT better financially than the ones who stayed behind. The same is also true for some of my elementary/high school classmates.

 

[Shdreams]

So timely ....i live in Ottawa Canada, -25 right now....hate it, very far from family ( but would not move too close neither ....... I am thinking about it every day ....Spain ? Dubaï ? US ?
It's worth mentionning that i already left everything behind 10 years ago and immigrated to Canada ...with no family, no friends, NOTHING ....after 10 years...i feel it's time to move somewhere ......warmer

Nice to see a fellow Valley person here. Although sounds like you might be moving on. Still nice to see.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Bila]

@Shdreams yeah, work fo the FG ?

 

[Shdreams]

@Shdreams yeah, work fo the FG ?

I'm not quite sure what you mean by FG?

 

[Shdreams]

Federal Government? Abbreviation and internet slang will lose me every time lol And I still pay more in taxes than I think I should.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Bila]

Yeah, that's what i meant

 

[NonMagicalGenie]

Awesome post, this is exactly the dilemma I am facing right now and I know I must muster up the courage to do it and I will. I am sick and tired of practically everything in Virginia, but now I see some awesome opportunities to be able to do so. You got me with the $900, its amazing what that one small move has made you become! Thanks for the post, really needed to hear this.

 

[mws87]

i think this thread is worth a bump. Just read through it for the first time, what great inspiration. Already started selling all my stuff (can't sell the car, financed from my previous lack of knowledge and my old consumer mindset a couple years ago). Funny, I was driving through a beach town over here and just caught the vision of what it would be like to live there. I went back the other day and kept thinking to myself "How badly do you want it, Mike?" then, sure enough digging through the gold threads I found this. Can't believe there is a forum with this much value and real motivation among all the crap on the internet. You've created something infinitely important and useful, MJ.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[AllenCrawley]

For all of you thinking about moving to somewhere new, just f*cking do it. The decision is really simple. Don't fear the logistics -- you will figure it out. Step back and stop listening to the BS excuses and faux narratives that you keep telling yourself-- they're lies designed to keep you "safe and secure".

@pickeringmt ^^^

 

[DeletedUser394]

why's everyone hating on Montana. :'(

 

[Jakawan]

I think I have a pretty fun story. All of us have a back story. Something we had to go through to get where we are.

I was 22 years old. I was the youngest correctional officer at the prison I worked at. I had to grow up fast to work around all those negative people and be an authority figure. My lieutenant was excited for me because the thought that I could retire from a state job at age 42. My asian family was proud. I had made it. I had a state job with full benefits, paid leave, retirement, etc..

But I wasn't happy. I met an inmate that was always reading books. I hadn't read a book since I was 18. Years. We started talking and eventually he told me his plan was to get out of prison, use credit cards to buy inventory to sell on ebay and save down payment money to buy real estate. He was so excited to share because I'm guessing his bunk mates were uninterested and probably thought he was crazy.

The inmate gave me a book to borrow called rich dad poor dad. Long story short.. He got me excited and I started reading at work every day for months. I read book after book about real estate. I decided to move out of my little town and go to college in the city for real estate. That's the only way I knew to get educated.. college.

I got a cheap 1 bedroom apartment, the cheapest in town actually. Had 2 miserable months of my life with bedbugs and meth heads and all that.. but I made the first step. I quit my comfortable job and went seeking more. My grandma wouldn't talk to me because she said I was stupid for leaving a state job.

I found out that not having mom to pay bills makes life a bit harder.. I now had bills to pay!! I couldn't afford college. So I worked crappy jobs for 6-8 months to catch up. 7 eleven, sandwich shop, delivery driver. I couldn't hold a job.. finally got fired and had a realization.. I came here to learn real estate and I'm not doing real estate! So I sought out an investor to help me. To hire me. To teach me and pay me minimum wage. One found me and put me on a draw of $1600 per month and paid me $1000 per house I sold for him. I started to see his checks of $10,000 to $20,000.. omg. 6-8 months later I was reading about people doing it themselves.

I invested in $255 worth of marketing and 2 weeks later a realtor called me and said she had a house for sale that had a fire start in the garage for $20,000. I sold it within a day for $22,000. I made $2000 in less than half an hours work.. my life has been changed forever. Never would have happened if I didn't take that leap, get out of my comfort zone, and make the move. Take the leap of faith!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

I think I have a pretty fun story. All of us have a back story. Something we had to go through to get where we are.

I was 22 years old. I was the youngest correctional officer at the prison I worked at. I had to grow up fast to work around all those negative people and be an authority figure. My lieutenant was excited for me because the thought that I could retire from a state job at age 42. My asian family was proud. I had made it. I had a state job with full benefits, paid leave, retirement, etc..

But I wasn't happy. I met an inmate that was always reading books. I hadn't read a book since I was 18. Years. We started talking and eventually he told me his plan was to get out of prison, use credit cards to buy inventory to sell on ebay and save down payment money to buy real estate. He was so excited to share because I'm guessing his bunk mates were uninterested and probably thought he was crazy.

The inmate gave me a book to borrow called rich dad poor dad. Long story short.. He got me excited and I started reading at work every day for months. I read book after book about real estate. I decided to move out of my little town and go to college in the city for real estate. That's the only way I knew to get educated.. college.

I got a cheap 1 bedroom apartment, the cheapest in town actually. Had 2 miserable months of my life with bedbugs and meth heads and all that.. but I made the first step. I quit my comfortable job and went seeking more. My grandma wouldn't talk to me because she said I was stupid for leaving a state job.

I found out that not having mom to pay bills makes life a bit harder.. I now had bills to pay!! I couldn't afford college. So I worked crappy jobs for 6-8 months to catch up. 7 eleven, sandwich shop, delivery driver. I couldn't hold a job.. finally got fired and had a realization.. I came here to learn real estate and I'm not doing real estate! So I sought out an investor to help me. To hire me. To teach me and pay me minimum wage. One found me and put me on a draw of $1600 per month and paid me $1000 per house I sold for him. I started to see his checks of $10,000 to $20,000.. omg. 6-8 months later I was reading about people doing it themselves.

I invested in $255 worth of marketing and 2 weeks later a realtor called me and said she had a house for sale that had a fire start in the garage for $20,000. I sold it within a day for $22,000. I made $2000 in less than half an hours work.. my life has been changed forever. Never would have happened if I didn't take that leap, get out of my comfort zone, and make the move. Take the leap of faith!

Great story, thank you for sharing.

So I sought out an investor to help me. To hire me. To teach me and pay me minimum wage. One found me and put me on a draw of $1600 per month and paid me $1000 per house I sold for him.

Any details on how you made this happen? Lots of people here say they want to find a mentor but don't know how to go about it.

 

[Vigilante]

This public service announcement brought to you by the admin team from The Fast Lane Forum.