Getting to the F**k You position in life....

[Tobore]

Nice. Really goes to show you become who you hang out with. Winners naturally want to win.

 

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[Mattie]

Nice. Really goes to show you become who you hang out with. Winners naturally want to win.

Yes, I agree. I know to move with precision, focus, and clarity. I spend most of my time alone. I have a few select friends. While it's a journey you make alone, I don't regret it. It's hard making sacrifices sometimes, but I feel at some point it will pay off. I suppose I'm not exactly fun. I spend most of my time learning what I need too, and applying. While I'm still growing and developing, it's part of the process.

The wrong mindsets get you in all the wrong places. I think you have to be true to you, follow your inner compass, find your rhythm in life, know when to move, how to move, and move in the right timing. Trial and error is a big portion of learning. Fearlessness and staying clear about where you want to be.

 

[TJH]

I watched 'The Gambler' the other night.

John Goodman's speech about getting to the f**k you position in life was amazing

I think a lot of us are somewhere on that road...

I haven't seen this movie, but I'm going to check it out. I'm sure most people feel this way, at some point, but they are scared to admit it, even to themselves.

 

[Jamie T]

The WHY...

For me the WHY has slowly evolved in my quest for the Fastlane. Early on it was to make the money to buy the stuff that everyone EXPECTS you to have when you are rich. You know, the Lambo lifestyle.

But a funny thing has been happening along the way.

I have begun to realize the closer I get (and I am very close) to being able to live the Fastlane lifestyle, the less I need to fulfill those earlier models of what I initially wanted.

No longer am I craving the platitudes of others, because I see myself satisfied knowing that it is now within my grasp, and I don't have to prove it to anyone else by 'wearing it on the outside'

I find myself craving experiences more than things.

And relationships with like minded people greater than admiration or envy from those without.

It is an evolvement.
A know that you know that you know that you can do it.

I think @Vigilante touched on this in this thread: https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...ich-but-your-friends-arent.46811/#post-285387

"My wife and I were talking about this the other day. The best way to live is in an unremarkable fashion so that people like you for who you are vs. what you have. Live casually. Give generously."

I now reflect as much on showing others how they can be producers rather than consumers, than on what I can even produce myself.

A mind shift. Perhaps it is because when your belly's full, you begin to help feed others...

I've noticed a similar change in myself as well. Many of the things that I thought were important three years ago are laughable now.

Thanks for writing this. I'll be watching for your thread when you fully achieve the fastlane lifestyle.

 

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[livegrowfree]

Not sure if anybody has seen Promised Land with Matt Damon from a few years ago.
But The Gambler definitely took the F*ck you money phrase from em.
(Sorry for the terrible quality, only clip I could find of this great scene)

 

[GuestUser113]

Anyway to have this thread tagged "notable" or "gold"?

@Vigilante

 

[RazorCut]

I would say you have to, to some degree. Ha ha! I don't like the word personally, but in this world it's either you receive the message, or you have to stand your ground and stand up for yourself and whether you like it or not have that attitude.

I agree, however there is more than one way to say F*ck you. Sometimes it is better to put someone down gently and not to burn your bridges. Life, after all, has a habit occasionally of biting you on the arse.

 

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[SteveO]

I think that's what I've learned the last year being on Fastlane I've been putting up with bullshit for to long, and if I just listened to myself in the first place when I was younger, It would have avoided a lot of detours and problems.

You say the magic words. "...if I just listened to myself in the first place..."

The real question is why does it matter? "Who cares". The detours are life experiences and so are problems. We all need to modify this word or reset the definition in our heads. In math a problem is something that simply needs to be calculated or solved. That is really all it is.

We will all have obstacles to overcome. That is part of life. If we view everything as a problem, then we are going to live our lives in churn mode.

 

[SteveO]

When I left my job 16 years ago, I was in "F*ck you" mode. As
@million$$$smile stated, things change. The outlook gets different.

This may sound selfish on my part but, I don't care that much about other people and their lives. This does not mean that I don't have feelings. We all have our lives to live. We all design and define them on a daily basis. I do have feelings, cares and concerns for the people in my life. But I also know that they will be able to deal with what they have in front of them.

I am also interested in hearing about people's lives and experiences. There are things to learn from these. At some stages of life, I may have been jealous of what others could do while I was unable to do the same.

There is a roller coaster effect in life. I have been to the +10M range and back to the -0 range again. I thought that it hurt.... But, it is what is in your head that allows you to continue.

Instead of "F*ck you", I prefer to adopt the "who cares" or "zero F*cks given" philosophy.

 

[Rem]

This is a great thread!! No matter how you say 'F*ck you', and no matter what style you have, the mentality alone simply resonates with 'freedom'. When you are in a position that nobody else can tell you what to do or if you are in a position that you can walk away from and lose nothing then you are in complete control. Having that control is the freedom we all desire.

Here is an example without using money. When I was in college I used to play in a summer baseball league. I was a good player but the coach kept benching me after the 3rd or 4th inning. Even all the players were like what the hell. I soon found out the coach had a beef with my uncle and therefore decided he didn't like me and he was almost giving me the 'F*ck you' attitude. He was the coach and he was in control.

I showed up to the next game and he didn't even start me. He even told me I was to sit out for the game. So I stood up and stripped my uniform off and handed it to him in my skivvies. I didn't even say anything and put on a pair of sweatpants and walked off the field. It was my way of saying well whatever F*ck you. I figured that would be the end of it.

He showed up at my house the next day with my uniform and told me to suit up. I honestly wasn't sure what I was going to do but I suited up and he started me and I played the entire game and all the rest of the games of the season.

So, here is how I look at it. If I had done nothing I would have continued to have sat on the bench all season while he wielded his power over me. So by having a F*ck you attitude I was able to get what I wanted. As soon as he realized he didn't have that power over me he didn't care any more.

 

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[Get Right]

This is quickly becoming one of my favorite threads on TFF.

Rep to the OP ++

 

[Formless]

the mentality alone simply resonates with 'freedom'.

This.

I actually had a Eureka moment a few days ago where I truly internalized what drives me.

Not the 'right-thing-that-I-tell-people-that-drives-me' but literally the reason I get up in the morning..

"Do What You Want." Is where I am right now.

I've started freelancing and I'm making peanuts, but it has given me a small taste of choice and control. I got up at 7am today, which is pretty early. But it wasn't because someone told me to. I chose to get up at 7.

I just finished a contract... wearing the ugliest yellow t-shirt and most oversized basketball shorts imaginable.

And that freedom tastes sweet. How sweet will freedom from a fastlane business taste?

Personally, I think that ultimately, when you zoom out of the details. Out of sales-funnels and e-commerces and legal agreements and copywritings and dropshippers and trade-shows and customer relationship managements... it all comes down to one thing.

Freedom.

 

[SteveO]

"Do What You Want." Is where I am right now.

Years ago somebody made a statement to my wife on the softball field about something that she did. Her response was "I do what I want....". That phrase was overused by our team for a while.

It is a very empowering statement.

 

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[SteveO]

I just finished a contract... wearing the ugliest yellow t-shirt and most oversized basketball shorts imaginable.

Agreed! That is what I am wearing now. A yellow t-shirt and basketball shorts.... I have 6 pairs of basketball shorts and thirty t-shirts. It is what I put on in the mornings. It is what I wear when I go to meet a broker or banker. Although I do change into something nicer to play golf.

 

[million$$$smile]

"Do What You Want." Is where I am right now.

and if you can't do what you want,

find someone that CAN do it for you

share enough of the vision to get the help you need when you need it

 

[Mattie]

The real question is why does it matter? "Who cares". The detours are life experiences and so are problems. We all need to modify this word or reset the definition in our heads. In math a problem is something that simply needs to be calculated or solved. That is really all it is.

I think the last week studying more on personalities I understand quite well. Yes, most people do have detours and problems. I think it's hard for me to relate to other people's life experiences, because it's never been stable and the detours and problems were usually other peoples choices. I'm not angel and sure I played my part. I think the thing is "I've been through something like the movie "Whiplash." According the book "People Code" I know these people were reds. I'm a blue.

Fortunately, Reds want action, but they can also be Narcissistic. They can also be alcoholics. And not personality developed or reached their greatness like in here. I've always loved learning from Reds if it's done in the appropriate method of Tough Love. I have gained Mental Toughness through the whole ordeal, but there are unhealthy reds that just don't know when to stop, and they basically sabotage your life.

I agree, however there is more than one way to say F*ck you. Sometimes it is better to put someone down gently and not to burn your bridges. Life, after all, has a habit occasionally of biting you on the arse.

When emotional and mental abusive Red's don't stop, you burn bridges. They're always right. Life doesn't occaisonally bite you on the arse with Reds that have a problem with your Blue personality and INFJ. They will kick the crap out of you until you can no longer breathe regardless if you're taking all the right actions and doing all the right things. They like to win at all costs.

When you're a Blue and stand up to them and You're and INFJ and see through them, they don't like it at all. And it more like want to crush you, because they don't want to give up their power and control in front of an audience. lol The Infj Cobra mode comes out, and that's not to nice.

So Yes, I see the last few days since I'm learning about Red's and Blue's we can be very competitive, both want to win. And just have different methods of doing it.

I suppose I know the Red's who were my professor's and Mentor's were authoratative tough love. And I buck at the Authoritarian. I suppose now it's just trying to learn how to get along with the Red Authoritarian if that is possible. lol When I know they don't give a f..k and I don't give a f..k how does that solve a problem. lol

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

A yellow t-shirt and basketball shorts

Ha, my favorite pastime was tooling around town in my Lambo looking like I belonged on welfare. My prized outfit was an old hat weathered and faded, long hood basketball shorts, and and ripped up sleeveless dBacks jersey. Always enjoyed the WTF? looks.

Even today, my work clothes consists of the dollar special: boxer shorts and a t-shirt. I don't own a tie and refuse to wear one for anyone, or anything.

 

[SteveO]

but there are unhealthy reds that just don't know when to stop, and they basically sabotage your life

I did not see the movie or read the book that was referenced so cannot follow along with the reds and blues. But, I do know that nobody decides my fate except me.

It is easy to blame people or circumstances for our problems. No blame should be assigned though.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

Ha, my favorite pastime was tooling around town in my Lambo looking like I belonged on welfare.

LOL, that's exactly what I pictured myself to do once I get my future sportscar.
Sir, I like your style.

 

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[Get Right]

My thoughts on Khaki's - https://www.dropbox.com/s/4t4pvhk89swnvm0/limiting belief 2.mp4

 

[Rem]

Whatever you want to be like when you're rich, you should begin doing today. Harbor today the thoughts, attitudes, and habits of what you perceive you'd be like as a rich person, and you'll begin to achieve your goals much quicker.

If you hear yourself say:
When I am rich I am going to...
When I have the money to pay for this I am going to...
When I reach my goals I am going to begin...

Then you need to reverse it. It is because of your choices and your habits that land you where you need to be and not an event, therefore begin being who you hope to be NOW. Right this second.

 

[Mattie]

I did not see the movie or read the book that was referenced so cannot follow along with the reds and blues. But, I do know that nobody decides my fate except me.

It is easy to blame people or circumstances for our problems. No blame should be assigned though.[/QUOTE

Yes, I know I don't blame anyone or circumstances. lol I've heard this all my life. No one is at fault. No-fault world. Everyone's human conditioned, they don't know better. Just like my friend who was murdered and shot. It wasn't the gun men's fault because he thought he needed to steal a car. And carry around a gun and just shoot it. And my friend wasn't at fault for making a bad choice and getting on the motorcycle without protection. We all play a part, deliberately, ignorantly, with motives and intentions. Cause and effect. And honestly I think people say what you say so they feel better, and don't have to take respsonsibility for the part they play on both sides.

 

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[SteveO]

Not true @Mattie . People say that for the specific reason of not playing the victim. It is too easy for people to play that role. Your friend that was murdered is a different story. My cousin was murdered as well trying to defend his sister from her ex-husband. That is not what I am talking about.

 

[Mattie]

People say that for the specific reason of not playing the victim. It is too easy for people to play that role. Your friend that was murdered is a different story. My cousin was murdered as well trying to defend his sister from her ex-husband. That is not what I am talking about.

Yes, they say it to not play victim. I was using that as an example: If it's something that we find to use the justice system. In work environments or family environments you have to know people deliberately sabotage others to get success. As an entrepreneur someone steals your idea. In a corporate office a woman goes in the building when no one is there, sabotages a project that is presented the next day, and when the other woman goes to present the information is gone. This actually happen by the way. The woman wanted the other woman fired. She ended up getting fired herself, because she forgot about the camera's.

Another example: Another professional getting buddy buddy with you and reporting information to a higher up, and looking for anything they can find to get you out of their way of success.

I suppose it really doesn't matter. You have a choice to protect yourself, choose your companions wisely, and just be mentally tough. People do what they want to do. And of course "Blame" in the other aspect in the Book "The Life Code" is basically blaming someone else and not taking responsibility. I don't know how much you know about Narcissist's either. This is a common trait, to blame others. Yes, stop blaming others for why you need to behave the way you do, or why there are problems in your life.

It still points to: Take responsibility of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and actions instead of being in denial of the part one has played to create the situation.

 

[SteveO]

@Mattie
I play in the commercial real estate world. It is shark infested waters. Many people get bit including me on occasion. But when I do, I do not blame the shark or myself. I try to learn from it and move on.

 

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[Mattie]

I play in the commercial real estate world. It is shark infested waters. Many people get bit including me on occasion. But when I do, I do not blame the shark or myself. I try to learn from it and move on.

That's exactly right. Which comes back to shut off your emotions and feelings, detach, and be a success and "Zero Give a F*cks". Exactly why I'm in the Netherlands and moving on with my life and on this forum.

 

[M&A]

Another great scene from the movie,

"then theres a career which is not the same thing as existence, so I want unlimited things, I want everything, I want a real f$$kin love, a real f$$kin house, a real f$$kin thing to do every day and I'd just rather die if I don't get it."

 

[OVOvince]

perhaps it would be better to ask, why would you use THAT avatar?...

I was just messin with you lol

 

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[Dami-B]

Live casually. Give generously."

Amen

 

[Raoul Duke]

Bump.