Getting no support or respect from close friends

[Tourmaline]

Have you read either of MJ's books?

Does the world Need another Travel Blog?

 

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[Bertram]

I feel like this is an insult but I don't get it, lol What is wrong with turning something into a business? Isn't that the entrepreneurial way?

No, no insult intended I'm sure. I think he just meant you don't start that way, you're doing things backwards. First find a need. A need others have. Find the need and you'll know the market, demand, and so on. You can't really build a logical business plan based on the fact that you like doing it.

 

[Tourmaline]

#3: The Commandment of Need
Provide value. Solve a problem. Satisfy a want. Inspire someone. Make em laugh or cry. Make em healthy and vibrant. Bottomline? The market doesn't give a shit about your motives. It doesn't give a shit about your passions, your loves, or your desires to drive a Ferrari. Throw the GURU BS out the window if you want to succeed because the only thing the market wants to know is this: "What the heck can you do for me?". Fastlane Entrepreneurs are committed to providing value, fulfilling needs, and satisfying wants because they know it attracts money.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

This.

This whole thread is a trainwreck waiting to happen.

You're not "living your passion". You're momentarily cashing in at the expense of your future.





In a year you're out of actual money, and then left with $5k per year from the "inheritance". There's a countdown on your "happiness".



This explains the reaction from a lot of your friends. You're surrounding yourself with the wrong people.



Stop pushing your "business" onto your friends. Make a blog today. You can even make one for free. Or an Instagram. Push towards monetization.

However, my bet is that travel blogs are ultra competitive and that it will take you years of study to get good at running one.



I don't think anyone here knows about him, and that you got suckered in with money chasing dreams instead of value-centric dreams.



This sounds like another bullshit guru course.

Stop using the word "invested", and start using the phrase "wasted".

My words are harsh, but the faster you realize that most of these "courses" and "gurus" have vastly more failures than successes amongst student, then you'll better identify which information is valuable and which is a waste of time when it comes your way.



I'm genuinely sad reading your post, because if you're like most people in your situation, then it will take you at least 3-5 years before you realize that you're on the wrong path. By that point, your upfront inheritance will have run out, you'll have stopped traveling, and you'll be back to slaving away at the same station in life that you were at before. You're having trouble identifying which information is valuable and which is guru bullshit. You're being led astray. If I were you, I'd start by creating a thread on this forum and letting people give feedback on your plans/sharing what you're doing/etc. That's your best bet. Otherwise, you're just relying on your own misguided decision making, which I'd bet 100-1 odds will lead you towards failure.

I refuse to work in another factory, so that will not happen again. If for some reason I can't afford my measly $300 lot rent where I am living now, I have a plan B which is to live on a farm for free in exchange for working there. I could be doing that right now but then I had my epiphany and this is the right path for me. I know you don't think it is, but to me, my life purpose comes first and only I can know for sure that this is what it is.

As for my friends, none of them live in the same town as me. One lives half an hour away in a bigger city, one lives in the next state over, and another lives across the country. I don't have any friends in this town BECAUSE they are all drunks and drug addicts. I moved here only because it was cheap and I wanted my money to stretch further.

As for Anik Singal's program and Sitesell, they are not scams or gurus, I personally know success stories from both of them. They didn't work FOR ME only because I realized I didn't like affiliate marketing, but since I paid for it, I have access to it for life along with all the courses included. That is why I called it an investment because I learned a lot. As for Sitesell, it is a fact that you will not have a successful health-related website unless you have the credentials to back up your information. Sitesell has the statistics to prove that hundreds of their users' sites rank in the top 0.5% of all websites. My website is still live, but when I have to renew my hosting I might see if I can change my site to one on travel, because you get a free blog platform with the program so I might just see if that will be a better option for me than making one separately. I love Sitesell and want to keep going through them.

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

Also, this thread is the perfect example of how very few people on this forum actually read the posts. Everyone's hopping in to give feedback on the title and original post. Other than a couple posters in this thread, no one's bothering to tell this girl that she's getting suckered.

I wish there was still +Rep so that I could toss it @Bertram 's way.

Who am I getting suckered by, and how?

 

[GaiaGoddess]

There are a few things going on right now(from what I can read):

1. To your friends it looks like you´re bragging
2. You haven´t made money from your travel blog yet. So everything you do is unproven.
3. Your friends are either jealous OR trying to warn you
4. As the others mentioned, the extrepreneurial journey can be lonely because the others have a different perspective.

Edit: Definitely what @AgainstAllOdds said.

Edit2: Here is a true investment you can make: The 2020 Fastlane Summit.
It features true entrepreneurs, who are able to guide you and show you the right path. A lovely community with no guru BS.

MEETUPS - 2020 Fastlane Summit at Talking Stick Resort... Event Info

Personally, I would join sth like this once but it is too far away. The prices are very high imo. MJ, could you think of adding a (much cheaper) web access for viewing the presentations? This could cross finance the high tickets or even give opportunity to sponsor 2 or 3 live tickets for the...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

It would make no sense if they think I'm bragging about my trips, I take most of my trips WITH my friends! They do fun stuff as much as I do, if not more! One of my friends even does stuff in the winter which I don't do. She has even been to more places than I have.

They know I don't have a blog yet, I just took this workshop 2 weeks ago and started the blogging course last week. If they think i'm bragging about a job I haven't earned money from yet, they are idiots, because I have been posting everything in real time so they know this is a new development in my life. They wouldn't expect me to make money yet. I only wanted them to acknowledge that after decades of suffering in various jobs, I finally found my calling. If any of my friends had that happen to them I would throw a party! But I don't even get a half-assed "That's cool", I would even take that at this point.

Yeah I think your #4 is the correct one.

I'm concerned that a few of you have claimed my other endeavors were with "guru's", without knowing anything about them...and that I am not on the right path. How can anyone else know what my right path is? Entrepreneurs include bloggers and travel writers, we're all people who said no to conventional 9-5 jobs working for someone else.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

I remember when I was starting out in entrepreneurship in my early 20's and I bought into the whole "Do what you love and you never work a day in your life". This led to many years of my trying to turn my hobbies into very moderately successful businesses. It wasn't until i read the Millionaire Fastlane section "Do What You Love and Die as You Do" that i finally dropped that notion. DJ has a whole section in chapter 30 explaining why chasing your "passions" will VERY rarely produce a fastlane business, instead you need to be focusing on market NEEDS(CENTS anyone?).

I think you need an honest assessment of your situation to ask yourself a few things.

1) Does your travel blog truly fufill a market need, or are you confusing traveling/photography and being happy your not working a shitty factory job 65 hours week anymore and trying to turn it into a business after the fact.
2) What are income goals for this travel blog, how/when do you plan to recoup your investment and earn a profit(be specific here with numbers and dates).

Ill leave you with a qoute from chapter 30: "Entrepreneurs fail because they create businesses based on selfish premises, and selfish premises don't yield profitable businesses; they lead directly into the 90% failure wastebasket."

I am going to ask my readers (when I have the blog) what they want. One of the most successful bloggers (who makes 6 figures a year) says this is the secret. I am not just going to go any random place and blog about it and expect it to be a hit. That is why I am taking this course (which is from another 6 figure blogger) so I am pretty sure I will know what to do and what not to do to make it successful. But I do not need 6 figures a year. I would be happy with $25,000 a year. That is the most I've ever made in my life and I was plenty comfortable. I am also going to earn money getting my articles published in magazines and websites, that's the quicker easier way to make money, the only reason I am not focusing on that now is because you have a better chance of getting published if you already have a blog. But as long as I have the time, I will try to focus on both.

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

What kind of travel blogger are you?

I got into the game as a travel blogger ten years ago and with a lot of cause and effect started to blog about cannabis and has lead me down an interesting path in the cannabis industry.

Well I shouldn't even say I am one yet, technically all I've done so far is write about 10 articles but they still need to be edited (the first draft is never the final one). But the kind of traveling I do is road trips, camping, where I can do nature photography. So my blog will probably focus on road trips in the Midwest (or just MN where I live) and I might throw a focus on photography, nature, health, spirituality, and/or food since those are my other interests. I will work all this out in the course.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

No, no insult intended I'm sure. I think he just meant you don't start that way, you're doing things backwards. First find a need. A need others have. Find the need and you'll know the market, demand, and so on. You can't really build a logical business plan based on the fact that you like doing it.

I know there is a need, it's the travel industry, it's one of the super niches. If there wasn't a need, there wouldn't be people already blogging and writing about it. I will be more specific than just general travel, of course. I'm not quite at the point that most of you are thinking I am, lol I just started this a few weeks ago.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

#3: The Commandment of Need
Provide value. Solve a problem. Satisfy a want. Inspire someone. Make em laugh or cry. Make em healthy and vibrant. Bottomline? The market doesn't give a shit about your motives. It doesn't give a shit about your passions, your loves, or your desires to drive a Ferrari. Throw the GURU BS out the window if you want to succeed because the only thing the market wants to know is this: "What the heck can you do for me?". Fastlane Entrepreneurs are committed to providing value, fulfilling needs, and satisfying wants because they know it attracts money.

You're preaching to the choir here, lol I know this. I have been studying business for a decade at least. Obviously I will fulfill a need, I thought that was obvious.

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

Now that I'm all caught up, I'm starting to feel differently about this forum. I did get more support than I did from my friends, but I also got a lot of "You're not doing this right." Maybe I am not in the right place here either. I am not trying to be a millionaire. It would be nice, but more than anything I want to live each day doing what I love. I don't need a million dollars to do that. I misunderstood this group, I thought it was for all entrepreneurs, even the ones who have minimalist simple dreams and goals.

Thanks for responding, everyone! I will be out of town camping for the next few days so I won't be able to respond anymore until I get home, but I got what I came here for. Thank you!

 

[broswoodwork]

I feel like this is an insult but I don't get it, lol What is wrong with turning something into a business? Isn't that the entrepreneurial way?

What i meant by "farting around" was, you're not turning it into a business. You're talking about turning it into a business, and cooking through money on blog writing/ passion based business courses, when you could just get moving with it, and see if it works.

You can shortcut the trial and error, and wasted money on guru courses, by buying an existing monetized site and leave it as is to learn the ropes; then, add your own little camping music festival section to it gradually to transform it into your passion without disrupting the income.

 

[biophase]

Now that I'm all caught up, I'm starting to feel differently about this forum. I did get more support than I did from my friends, but I also got a lot of "You're not doing this right.” Maybe I am not in the right place here either.

I am not trying to be a millionaire. It would be nice, but more than anything I want to live each day doing what I love. I don't need a million dollars to do that. I misunderstood this group, I thought it was for all entrepreneurs, even the ones who have minimalist simple dreams and goals.

Everyone here is trying to show you a different perspective. You got some money and are doing something that you like. You don’t have a business yet.

You are doing it wrong. I don’t understand your answer about the world needing travel blogs. The question is does the world need another travel blog. How is your travel blog going to be different than the other current travel blogs out there?

At the rate you are going you are going to run out of money and have no business eventually. You say you’ve been reading about business for 10 years. It doesn’t matter if you want to make $25k or $1m, the principles are the same. Don’t use that excuse to discount our advice or our questions here.

It will be very hard to make even $100/mo on a travel blog. Especially if you are traveling in a radius of 6 hours from your home. You purchased a course and haven’t implemented it yet. We understand that you are very excited about your new business venture. However excitement doesn’t pay the bills.

Honestly, to an outsider it really does look like you just took time off and travel around your local states and are upset that your friends didn’t “like” your posts.

 

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[KeepGoin]

I think jealousy is the issue, first the inheritance, second in that you don't have to work.

This is common with folks here as we all strive for purpose and financial independence. The rest of the world is OK mired in mediocrity and a professional football game once a week.

Damn that was savage

 

[LittleWolfie]

I have never been happier in my life. Whenever I post on Facebook about my travels, none of my close friends like the posts, and whenever I talk about it with them, they act like they dont care. One friend who has been practically my best friend for 30 years has still not said a single word, or acknowledged anything that I have said about it.

Everyone that knows me knows that I have been struggling my entire life to find my purpose, and when I finally found it I barely got any comments from my closest friends about it, online and in person. Even before my life changed, when I was depressed working 65 hours a week in a factory and never going anywhere, my friends didn't seem to care about my life. So you would think they would at least acknowledge my recent news and be happy for me now.

[\QUOTE]

I never understood this idea of posting things. If I do something that makes me happy,that's great. What possible reason could there be for telling the world at large about it?

My friends know because they were either their with me(my friends and I do mutually enjoyable activites at convenient times.) Or declined an invite.

But these are my most popular posts, it's just that my close friends aren't liking them!

One friend asked how I was doing and I said I was doing awesome, I just got back from a camping trip and wrote a bunch of blog posts, and her response was "I've been better, my knee hurts." and then we proceeded to talk about her problems the rest of the night and not another word about my good news. This is a friend I have known for about 13 years.

None of my friends bother with likeing content of their friends.

She sounds like me, I enjoy talking about people's problems and bond over them. If I ask how's things and you say "everything is awesome" then I'm unable to add anything further.

 

[csalvato]

Everyone here is trying to show you a different perspective. You got some money and are doing something that you like. You don’t have a business yet.

You are doing it wrong. I don’t understand your answer about the world needing travel blogs. The question is does the world need another travel blog. How is your travel blog going to be different than the other current travel blogs out there?

At the rate you are going you are going to run out of money and have no business eventually. You say you’ve been reading about business for 10 years. It doesn’t matter if you want to make $25k or $1m, the principles are the same. Don’t use that excuse to discount our advice or our questions here.

It will be very hard to make even $100/mo on a travel blog. Especially if you are traveling in a radius of 6 hours from your home. You purchased a course and haven’t implemented it yet. We understand that you are very excited about your new business venture. However excitement doesn’t pay the bills.

Honestly, to an outsider it really does look like you just took time off and travel around your local states and are upset that your friends didn’t “like” your posts.

I admire your ability to post this necessary feedback so tastefully. kudos

 

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[StrikingViper69]

Some great posts here, I only have this to add:

One thing to bear in mind is that, while your friends may support you, they are not your customers, and you shouldn't expect them to be.

Your friends don't want to have to base their friendship with you on liking your posts, sharing them, buying your products etc. They might be interested in what you do, but the whole blog thing just isn't for them. And that's ok.

They may not be jealous of your life, they might just not care about your business, from the perspective of they are not target customers. But they still like you the person.

 

[Liandra]

I had the same issue when my mobile games started to make some bigger amount of profit. In my opinion if these are there for you when you were in trouble then I would deffinitely keep them in my life but would contact them less frequently so they don't demotivate you but I would still help them if they need me. If they are not there for you neither in bad times nor in good times then I would absolutely "ditch" them. Life is too short to waste it on superficial relationships.

 

[Brewmacker]

The absolute patience and helpfulness of this forum never fails to surprise me. You are all awesome!

OP, do you always throw your toys out of the pram, anytime people (even strangers who do not know you but care) give you some constructive criticism and support?

You need to take their advice on board, have a good look at yourself, your behaviors and change your outlook on life.

Can you honestly say that you bring value to your "friends" lives? Do you actually give give give without expecting anything in return? Do you really? I doubt it. Because if you applied that in every aspect in your life, you would not even care to cut out the old wood because you would be in abundance of fresh wood.

Now that I'm all caught up, I'm starting to feel differently about this forum. I did get more support than I did from my friends, but I also got a lot of "You're not doing this right." Maybe I am not in the right place here either. I am not trying to be a millionaire.

If you don't want to be a "millionaire", if your not ready to take on the advice that you are "not doing this right", then I can understand that you start to feel differently about this forum.

Maybe if you hung around here for a while, read and soaked up what these lovely people talk about daily, it might just begin to rub off on you.

Best wishes for the future.

 

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[Kevin88660]

Now that I'm all caught up, I'm starting to feel differently about this forum. I did get more support than I did from my friends, but I also got a lot of "You're not doing this right." Maybe I am not in the right place here either. I am not trying to be a millionaire. It would be nice, but more than anything I want to live each day doing what I love. I don't need a million dollars to do that. I misunderstood this group, I thought it was for all entrepreneurs, even the ones who have minimalist simple dreams and goals.

Thanks for responding, everyone! I will be out of town camping for the next few days so I won't be able to respond anymore until I get home, but I got what I came here for. Thank you!

Why not try focus on the numbers?

What is the cash reserve now on top of an emergency fund (6 months of expense)?

With your monthly expense figure you can figure out how much time you have for relaxing and trying the new venture before being forced to work. That can help in your planning.

I am not from U.S. could you educate me a bit on why you have to withdraw 5k a year from the inherited IRA account?

 

[luniac]

I have never been jealous (in a bad way) of other people's success. To me, those posts are inspiring and give me ideas for how I want my life to look. In fact I started following travelers and bloggers long before I even had a camper, about ten years before. It helped me dream and create the life I wanted. But I can see where someone would get jealous in a bad way if they are unable to change their life. The confusing thing is though that all of my friends talk about how awesome their jobs are and how happy they are at them. They also post stuff all over FB about their vacations and good news, so that part confuses me, how can they expect me to like their posts but they don't like mine when they are so similar.

Well you know how it is about facebook, all awesome on the surface and miserable in reality.

 

[Bigguns50]

I didn't read the other replies so here's my 2 cents and I hope I'm not just repeating.

We are constantly changing as individuals. Some change more than others. It's not good or bad, it just is.

Often times if we have a major change ( money, spiritual, physical), and our long time friends haven't experienced anything major, they don't understand. Or, they feel insecure as they wish their life would change. This can appear as not caring, jealousy, anger.

I've had some major changes and I don't connect anymore with some friends I've had for many years. The people or friends you surround yourself with, should bring out good feelings in you... not negative.

So yep. Sometimes we need to drop family members and friends. It's their Battles, not ours. Its their path.

You will find good friends.

 

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[lunga ngcobo]

Ugh that sucks though when friends you've had for most of your life (or even half of it) lack the ability to say something simple as "That's awesome!" That is really all I would like from them.

For the moment I am living off an inheritance, I have about another year left til I run out but I plan to get a part time job over the winter so I for sure won't have to work next summer, that is when I do all of my traveling. I don't need to work full time though, my rent is only $300 a month and I have to take a required minimum withdrawal of about $5000 a year from an inherited IRA, which covers my rent and then some.

Caution: Your Inheritance will run out!

My advice is to take your inheritance and spend it wisely on a business that will keep you afloat while you pursue your dream fast lane business. Spending your money directly on travel and bragging on facebook sounds like instant gratification mentality.

Guess what? i also inherited 2 houses a few years ago and I guarantee that if i had sold the homes and took a tour around the world with the money, I would be back on square one. I would be still hopping from job to job and living in a trailer. But instead, I chose to develop the properties and rent them out. Now I dont have to look for a job and my friends will for ever hate me coz these rentals can only increase as i plan to develop more properties.

Bottom line: Take your money and invest it in a business that will save you from looking for a job ever again, otherwise you won't have to worry about your jealous friends anymore because they are going to be laughing at your a$$!!

 

[Abrodos]

Don't want to be harsh, but we've got an idiom in Spanish that says "there's none so deaf as those who will not hear."
You have written over 150 lines of text, maybe 200, in 3 days, just replying to the advice given instead of accepting it and implementing it. This ability could have been spent writing one or two blog posts.

I'm very proud of my artistic abilities and the time invested in learning them, and I have them in great consideration.
And I'm planning a CENTS based business venture, to which people are reacting very well. But in the end, the ultimate truth is that I'm earning 1000$ a month from other stuff, not more. Everything else is just smoke. All the plans, the designs I'm sharing with my potential clients, are smoke until I've sold them something. All the "potential" clients are not clients as long as they don't buy anything.

So, in order to keep advancing, I suggest you don't reply to any more comments and instead, you post some of your articles here, so the good writers in the forum can help improve your blog posts.

That, and only that, is "taking action".

Everything else, is just smoke.

Good luck with the travel blog

 

[lunga ngcobo]

Now that I'm all caught up, I'm starting to feel differently about this forum. I did get more support than I did from my friends, but I also got a lot of "You're not doing this right." Maybe I am not in the right place here either. I am not trying to be a millionaire. It would be nice, but more than anything I want to live each day doing what I love. I don't need a million dollars to do that. I misunderstood this group, I thought it was for all entrepreneurs, even the ones who have minimalist simple dreams and goals.

Thanks for responding, everyone! I will be out of town camping for the next few days so I won't be able to respond anymore until I get home, but I got what I came here for. Thank you!

The forum is actually about entrepreneurship and living free from the rat race. Read MJ's books and you will notice that they are harsh and sometimes offensive. But then who said reality was sweet?

My point is: Most people on this forum know whats real and we understand if you feel offended but the worst mistake you can make is ignore and dismiss their advice.

You can never know it all and for that we need each others advice...

 

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[Primeperiwinkle]

Don't want to be harsh, but we've got an idiom in Spanish that says "there's none so deaf as those who will not hear."
You have written over 150 lines of text, maybe 200, in 3 days, just replying to the advice given instead of accepting it and implementing it. This ability could have been spent writing one or two blog posts.

I'm very proud of my artistic abilities and the time invested in learning them, and I have them in great consideration.
And I'm planning a CENTS based business venture, to which people are reacting very well. But in the end, the ultimate truth is that I'm earning 1000$ a month from other stuff, not more. Everything else is just smoke. All the plans, the designs I'm sharing with my potential clients, are smoke until I've sold them something. All the "potential" clients are not clients as long as they don't buy anything.

So, in order to keep advancing, I suggest you don't reply to any more comments and instead, you post some of your articles here, so the good writers in the forum can help improve your blog posts.

That, and only that, is "taking action".

Everything else, is just smoke.

Good luck with the travel blog

I just want to say, I look forward to reading more posts from you and hearing about your journey.

 

[PetePreneur]

I’ve only read the first few posts, so if more information was said that makes this make no sense, then sorry in advance haha:

Basically I don’t get the impression your friends are jealous or anything of your new life or whatever because it sounds like you’re just starting out, so probably haven’t made much at it yet.

I reckon it’s one of 2 things. They’re either genuinely not interested, so change the conversation when you bring it up to avoid being bored. Or they think you’re making a mistake by doing what you’re doing and they think you’ll fail at it, so they’re changing the subject to avoid upsetting you with their opinion of it all.

Keep doing you regardless though and if you do get nowhere with it, then atleast you know you’ve tried!

 

[Tourmaline]

You're preaching to the choir here, lol I know this. I have been studying business for a decade at least. Obviously I will fulfill a need, I thought that was obvious.

I'm glad you know this commandment! It is not obvious to me at all. There are a million and three travel blogs.

Why does the world need yours? Who, as in what market and group of people, is it for? What need are you fulfilling?

If you want to write it for fun, that is one thing. If you want to write it as a business, that is entirely different.

 

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[eliquid]

I have a couple of thoughts on this. All random and mixed.

1. People don't give 2 shits about other people. Trust me on this.

2. People who you think are your friends, are not your friends.

3. "No prophet is accepted in his home town"

4. Why do you need so much validation from other people?

5. Lions don't lose sleep over the thoughts of sheep

6. People are only interested in themselves, this is like one of the main laws of conversation and sales. It impacts other parts of life too.

7. People only care about the value you give them. What value are your "friends" getting? None.

8. Most things fall into a "season". Maybe certain friends were only a season for you.

9. Don't worry about "why", just move on and learn from the "end result".

10. Only you are accountable for you, so do what's best for you.

 

[Bruno Martins]

Hello, Gaia.

I believe Jon L answer to your post covered all the points you need to solve your problems.

Anyway... people that are not happy with their lives will not be happy seeing you grow.

But I believe you have another problem going on: we think people that we know, because we know them for a long time, are our friends. Sometimes, the person you think to be your best friend, Gaia, is your worst enemy. This seams cliche, but it's true. The problem is that they are just close to you. It just happens that they are there... and sometimes they are there for 30 years. Just learn to identify these persons and keep your distance.

Then, there are the persons that are your friends, or want to be (in their sometimes twisted way), but are not happy with themselves. They are problematic, somehow; maybe even have toxic behaviors. Learn how to see somebody that you like, but present behaviors that will weight you down, or lead you to a direction in life you don't want to go, and just keep your distance as well.

AS you advance on your path, as you understand how to fell happier with yourself everyday, you will find new people. You'll find people that are on the same path as you, and the same frequency of thought. These are the people you'll be truly friends with. And remember: even then, friends are not that magical thing that we think of. They are just people that are around... and happen to care because you shared some moments together. In the end, they have their own agenda, and you must have yours.