Getting no support or respect from close friends

[broswoodwork]

Some of your remarks are confusing and scary.
Are you living off the inheritance for your lifetime or until the money runs out?
Why aren't you using your pile of cash to build your money system?

Wait, what?
Some of your remarks are confusing and downright scary.
Are you living off the inheritance until the money runs out?
That's crazy. You're in your forties. What are your plans to take care of Old Gaia Goddess?
Why aren't you using your pile of cash to build your money system right now?
You need to read MJ DeMarco's books RIGHT NOW. This forum is not for passion pursuits as much as it is for people who don't want slow or chaotic (like you) sources of income. You need help with developing self-reliance, my bae.
You haven't published the blog yet? You haven't earned income from it so far? You're in a fantasy land. Maybe that is why folks don't know what to say.
Get to work.
You know why you're focusing on this problem with friends? You're avoiding the real pain, how to get your life together. And the hard work involved.
Your mindset is set on self-destruct. Right? Where's your blog?

OK now get to work and keep in touch.
Get "The Millionaire Fastlane ." Immediately, GG.
You're in trouble. We're here. S'ya.

Thank you! General hospital in this thread.

Let's start the blog @GaiaGoddess !

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

I am a little confused when I read the above statement, because the title of the post led me to believe you are making money from your travel writing, or at the very least you're on your way to doing that. However it sounds like you're not even that bothered if your travel writing funds your lifestyle, more so that visiting places and experiencing new things is your passion.

You said that one of your friends said something along the lines of; "you haven't found your path yet".
I can see why she would say something like that, because from your above statement it seems like you are just drifting around waiting for something to happen.

Maybe the problem is you haven't actually articulated that you want to be a successful travel writer, and perhaps you haven't done that because you don't actually want to... I get it though, you would like some kind of validation and for your friends to be happy about your new situation.

Maybe they are happy for you, just not constantly. Plus what do you say to someone who has inherited a load of money and is now travelling around the world having a laugh; well done?

Also have you considered the fact that even though you're loaded now, they just want to treat you the same as they always have.

I also have very wealthy friends whom have inherited wealth, but that's by the by, I don't want them to think I'm just interested in them for their money.

Anyways, you're going to get a lot more info talking to them than us. Just straight up tell them that you're not feeling supported/loved.

Good luck in your travels.

I am not currently making money from travel writing, no...I only finished the workshop a week ago, and just got my practice article submission reviewed yesterday. I do have a website that wants me to write for them and I'm doing research and compiling a huge list of magazines and websites that I can pitch to. I also started taking a travel blogging course so I need to finish that too. But it's almost winter now so I won't be doing any more traveling anyway. And I don't travel the world, I have never even left the country. All of my trips in the last 10 years have been within 4 or 5 hours from where I live, usually more like 2 hours. I don't go to fancy places, just camping mostly. It isn't like I am boasting about a glamourous luxurious life to my friends, I am just saying hey I'm camping at this local campground, just taking pictures of the nearby river. It's nothing my friends haven't done before, in fact my "best" friend is the one I go camping with usually, we're actually leaving tomorrow for another camping trip.

But as far as an income, I do plan to get a part-time job in a few weeks so that I'm not burning through my remaining money so quickly, and that will allow me to take next summer off again and do more traveling. I am required to take out about $5000 a year from the inherited IRA, so that helps, and having $300 rent helps, no mortgage payment, no car payment, etc. My goal is to live as cheaply as possible so I can enjoy more experiences, not more things.

I have told my friends I am going to be a travel writer, I posted about it on FB many times (and my best friend still has never liked any of my posts about it). I have made comments about the workshop to him and he literally doesn't say a word at all. It's like he really doesn't know what to say or doesn't care. Which is very odd to me because he went to college for creative writing and loves books and has always wanted to be a writer. So I would think he more than anyone would ask me questions about the workshop. I even had an old copy of Writers Market I was going to give him but he didn't want it. He never wants any books or movies or cd's I try to give him, he is only interested in something if he discovers it first. (I know that sounds wierd to say that but he has been my best friend for 30 years, this is a pattern.)

I feel like I rambled on a bit there, I hope I clarified things for you!

 

[GaiaGoddess]

Jealousy. They would rather not say anything because they're pissed of themselves that they didn't do what you did and follow their dream, therefore there lies resentment. F*ck them, find new friends who support and encourage you and your goals. They ain't friends.

It just dawned on me from reading what you said, my best friend is the one that has never acknowledged my comments or FB posts about this, and he is the one that went to college to be a writer! I always thought he would be one. Maybe that's another reason why he never talks to me about this, he got a job in a factory and has been there ever since. He does nothing but sit on FB all day when he's at work though so maybe he would rather make easy money than write for it, lol

 

[GaiaGoddess]

Some of your remarks are confusing and scary.
Are you living off the inheritance for your lifetime or until the money runs out?
Why aren't you using your pile of cash to build your money system?

Wait, what?
Some of your remarks are confusing and downright scary.
Are you living off the inheritance until the money runs out?
That's crazy. You're in your forties. What are your plans to take care of Old Gaia Goddess?
Why aren't you using your pile of cash to build your money system right now?
You need to read MJ DeMarco's books RIGHT NOW. This forum is not for passion pursuits as much as it is for people who don't want slow or chaotic (like you) sources of income. You need help with developing self-reliance, my bae.
You haven't published the blog yet? You haven't earned income from it so far? You're in a fantasy land. Maybe that is why folks don't know what to say.
Get to work.
You know why you're focusing on this problem with friends? You're avoiding the real pain, how to get your life together. And the hard work involved.
Your mindset is set on self-destruct. Right? Where's your blog?

OK now get to work and keep in touch.
Get "The Millionaire Fastlane ." Immediately, GG.
You're in trouble. We're here. S'ya.

Ohhh you must have misunderstood a lot of what I've said...let me clarify! Part of my inheritance was a 6-figure IRA, so that is for my retirement. That is what I am required to withdraw $5000 a year from (it's a percentage so it varies some but so far has been about $5000 a year). The money I am living off right now was nowhere near that much, it was half of the money me and my brother got from selling his townhome which didn't go for a lot of money. I didn't plan to live off this when I got it, I still kept working for a few years after I got the money. But the jobs I had were making me depressed and I had to quit for my mental health. I knew I had the money to fall back on, plus I had a large savings from working 65 hours a week. So my goal became to find out what career I should be doing so I could work and not get depressed.

Last year I invested a lot of money in Inbox Blueprint by Anik Singal, i'm sure some people in here know about him and that program. Well turns out I am not cut out for affiliate marketing. Then I invested a lot of money in Sitesell where you create a website based on your passion, they are proven to be some of the most successful websites out there. I didn't know what my passion was at the time, I thought it was holistic health, so I started it based around that. But then I found out Google doesn't give you traffic to your website if it's about health and you have no credentials. Another costly mistake. So then I just got frustrated with building something online and focused on enjoying my life and not trying to think so hard about it. So I spent my time camping and taking pictures and sharing my travels on FB. That's when I realized that I was already doing what I wanted to do, and got an email from one of the biggest travel writing businesses about a workshop that teaches you how to earn money traveling and taking pictures. Ah-ha moment!

The workshop was just 2 weeks ago, and I realized I also wanted to start a blog so I signed up for a travel blogging course too, which I just started 1 week ago. This is all a new development, that is why I don't have a blog yet. But I have about 10 articles written, ready to go when I get it created.

And I have read Unscripted , which did help me get motivated to pursue my passion. Haven't read Millionaire Fastlane yet but it's on my list, I have about 200 books I haven't finished reading and now I have to get this blog going so I might get to it, I might not.

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

Dump, Dump, Dump.

If those are your friends, then you'd be better off without them.

Yeah, maybe...sometimes I am glad I have them though, like right now, this weekend me and my best friend are going camping. I do love camping alone but I also love going with my friends. And also the women friends that I have were there for me last night when I had a situation with an ex that I needed feedback about. These friends aren't completely horrible people, they just fall short in enough areas to bother me but not in other areas, that is what helps me hold on to them.

 

[Jeff Noel]

and when I finally found it I barely got any comments from my closest friends about it, online and in person.

Why do you need their approval so much ? Do your own thing and succeed.

I have known her for 3 years, whenever we get on the subject of my recent news, she says things like (paraphrasing here) "Well you must not be on the right path yet since you are still living in a trailer park." She's one to talk, she has been complaining for 3 years about living in a cheap apartment with no running water and she is afraid to have someone come fix it because there is no path to get to the bathroom because she is a hoarder.

Read that again. What did you just do ? You're bashing on your close friend because you disliked her comment towards your lifestyle. She respects you the same amount you respect her.

Look at yourself, analyze your attitude and make the changes you want to make.

Be the change you need in your life (read my signature).

You cannot change others, you can only change yourself. So at this point, take a decision based on your friends' feedback, or realize that their opinion does not matter at all if you decide to take action.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

Thank you! General hospital in this thread.

Let's start the blog @GaiaGoddess !

I already have 10 articles written for it, but I just started the course a week ago so that is what I plan to do over the winter.

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

Why do you need their approval so much ? Do your own thing and succeed.



Read that again. What did you just do ? You're bashing on your close friend because you disliked her comment towards your lifestyle. She respects you the same amount you respect her.

Look at yourself, analyze your attitude and make the changes you want to make.

Be the change you need in your life (read my signature).

You cannot change others, you can only change yourself. So at this point, take a decision based on your friends' feedback.

Her comment wasn't accurate though...she said that since I have discovered my path, I should already be living somewhere else, even though all of this only transpired a month or two ago. But my goal isn't to move. I'm just stating a fact by saying she is the one that hates where she lives yet complains about it since I have known her. And when I clarified that, she didn't say anything back.

I don't need my friends approval of what I do, it is just beneficial to everyone to have a supportive network. That is the entire reason forums like this exist. I guess I should have just shared my good news in here instead of to my friends, lol

 

[broswoodwork]

I already have 10 articles written for it, but I just started the course a week ago so that is what I plan to do over the winter.

Alright, but that's, like, a long time from now, and business forum advice on interpersonal relationships is only going to move the needle so far.

Have you seen @richardd 's GOLD thread about buying existing internet businesses? Take some of the windfall cash, buy an already monetized travel blog, and jump start the process. You'll be too busy building your dreams to play with frienemies.

 

[Bertram]

Alright, but that's, like, a long time from now, and business forum advice on interpersonal relationships is only going to move the needle so far.

Have you seen @richardd 's GOLD thread about buying existing internet businesses? Take some of the windfall cash, buy an already monetized travel blog, and jump start the process. You'll be too busy building your dreams to play with frienemies.

Brilliant.

 

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[Bertram]

Alright, but that's, like, a long time from now, and business forum advice on interpersonal relationships is only going to move the needle so far.

Have you seen @richardd 's GOLD thread about buying existing internet businesses? Take some of the windfall cash, buy an already monetized travel blog, and jump start the process. You'll be too busy building your dreams to play with frienemies.

Big thanks, I need to learn to this too @broswoodwork.

 

[broswoodwork]

Big thanks, I need to learn to this too @broswoodwork.

Thanks. The idea just jumped out at me when she said she was already writing, but farting around with turning it into a job/ business.

It's like a cheat code.

 

[Red]

Because they are my closest friends...I dont know how else to explain it, I have known them for years, one of them for 30 years, another one for like 11 or 12 years at least. These are the people I talk to every day and spend time with.

It hurts when you realize that your "close" friends & "family" really don't give two shits about you. At least, not if you're not doing what they think you should do/want you to do.


I went through what I call "The Great Friend Divorce." It was my entire circle of "friends" .... family was a lost cause looooong before this happened, so... The GFD sucked. I simultaneously moved out from & stopped contacting/initiating with everyone in my friend circle, as I had always suspected they didn't really support/understand me. As a woman in my mid-twenties..... this was hard.

You know what happened?

Absolutely nothing.

And that F*cking hurt the most. The moment I stepped out of denial & looked at the reality of my relationships... that F*cking hurt like a bitch. It stung. It made me simultaneously angry & depressed. I already realized I didn't have much in common with them, but at least they were "friends" -we got along & had a relatively good time together. "Supported" one another. But when it came to effort, real support & caring.... they just didn't that much. Not if it didn't benefit them or align with their norms.

So off I went.... by myself... for a few years.....

Then I, quite literally by astronomical chance, found myself at a Meetup in Scottsdale.

And I've never clicked with a group so hard & so fast in all my life. It was amazing. These people just got me. And supported me. In a way I'd never experienced. And I'd literally just known them for less than 48 hours. It was F*cking amazing. I had found my tribe.

And that was now nearly 10 years ago. And we're still going strong. And when we get together, it's like no time has passed. And they are my favorite people in this world.

And I know what true, real support actually looks like. Time doesn't matter, blood doesn't matter... being real, being supportive & being genuine does.

It can hurt to take an honest look at the relationships in our lives, but it can also lead to the best relationships in our lives.

 

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[Ismail941]

 

[doitman]

Alright, but that's, like, a long time from now, and business forum advice on interpersonal relationships is only going to move the needle so far.

Have you seen @richardd 's GOLD thread about buying existing internet businesses? Take some of the windfall cash, buy an already monetized travel blog, and jump start the process. You'll be too busy building your dreams to play with frienemies.

I read some of this thread last night. Thanks for the shout-out. I was thinking the same thing, to take the inheritance money and invest in a mature blog.

Not sure how much she has available, but that would sure beat finding a job.

 

[Bertram]

Ohhh you must have misunderstood a lot of what I've said...let me clarify! Part of my inheritance was a 6-figure IRA, so that is for my retirement. That is what I am required to withdraw $5000 a year from (it's a percentage so it varies some but so far has been about $5000 a year). The money I am living off right now was nowhere near that much, it was half of the money me and my brother got from selling his townhome which didn't go for a lot of money. I didn't plan to live off this when I got it, I still kept working for a few years after I got the money. But the jobs I had were making me depressed and I had to quit for my mental health. I knew I had the money to fall back on, plus I had a large savings from working 65 hours a week. So my goal became to find out what career I should be doing so I could work and not get depressed.

Last year I invested a lot of money in Inbox Blueprint by Anik Singal, i'm sure some people in here know about him and that program. Well turns out I am not cut out for affiliate marketing. Then I invested a lot of money in Sitesell where you create a website based on your passion, they are proven to be some of the most successful websites out there. I didn't know what my passion was at the time, I thought it was holistic health, so I started it based around that. But then I found out Google doesn't give you traffic to your website if it's about health and you have no credentials. Another costly mistake. So then I just got frustrated with building something online and focused on enjoying my life and not trying to think so hard about it. So I spent my time camping and taking pictures and sharing my travels on FB. That's when I realized that I was already doing what I wanted to do, and got an email from one of the biggest travel writing businesses about a workshop that teaches you how to earn money traveling and taking pictures. Ah-ha moment!

The workshop was just 2 weeks ago, and I realized I also wanted to start a blog so I signed up for a travel blogging course too, which I just started 1 week ago. This is all a new development, that is why I don't have a blog yet. But I have about 10 articles written, ready to go when I get it created.

And I have read Unscripted , which did help me get motivated to pursue my passion. Haven't read Millionaire Fastlane yet but it's on my list, I have about 200 books I haven't finished reading and now I have to get this blog going so I might get to it, I might not.

Good luck.
Seeing the trees not the forest. In truly dire need of "The Millionaire Fastlane ."

 

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[biophase]

I have mixed feelings about this thread.

I can understand your friends' jealously towards your FB posts. I mean you went from working bad jobs and alot of hours to inheriting some money (Do they know how much it was?). Then you quit your job and start posting about how your life is great. To them, it doesn't feel you have earned this "great" life. So I can understand their resentment when they see another post about you not working and camping.

On the opposite side, I can understand the disappointment that you feel when they don't "like" your posts. Because your friends should be happy for you, no matter how you became happy.

I just wonder if their feelings are based on the inheritance and your history. They might be thinking that when the money is gone, you'll be back at the crappy job. I remember when I started off in ecommerce, many people were scratching their head, wondering what I was doing. I bet deep down, there were thinking I was crazy to quit a job and do ecommerce. It's kind of hard to say congratulations to you if they don't believe that it will last.

 

[Tourmaline]

I'm rather harsh about friendships. I have outgrown my group of friends several times...so this is not new to me.

Get new friends that are on your wavelength.

Or else enjoy the crabs in the bucket.

Just how it is...

You no longer resonate with your friends. You can try and force friendship. You can try and have expectations. Both will end up in more disappointment and frustration.

At best, maybe 1. MAYBE 1, is actually willing to grow too.

But probably not, because that's just how it tends to go.

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

Some of your remarks are confusing and scary.
Are you living off the inheritance for your lifetime or until the money runs out?
Why aren't you using your pile of cash to build your money system?

Wait, what?
Some of your remarks are confusing and downright scary.
Are you living off the inheritance until the money runs out?
That's crazy. You're in your forties. What are your plans to take care of Old Gaia Goddess?
Why aren't you using your pile of cash to build your money system right now?
You need to read MJ DeMarco's books RIGHT NOW. This forum is not for passion pursuits as much as it is for people who don't want slow or chaotic (like you) sources of income. You need help with developing self-reliance, my bae.
You haven't published the blog yet? You haven't earned income from it so far? You're in a fantasy land. Maybe that is why folks don't know what to say.
Get to work.
You know why you're focusing on this problem with friends? You're avoiding the real pain, how to get your life together. And the hard work involved.
Your mindset is set on self-destruct. Right? Where's your blog?

OK now get to work and keep in touch.
Get "The Millionaire Fastlane ." Immediately, GG.
You're in trouble. We're here. S'ya.

This.

This whole thread is a trainwreck waiting to happen.

You're not "living your passion". You're momentarily cashing in at the expense of your future.

For the moment I am living off an inheritance, I have about another year left til I run out but I plan to get a part time job over the winter so I for sure won't have to work next summer, that is when I do all of my traveling.

In a year you're out of actual money, and then left with $5k per year from the "inheritance". There's a countdown on your "happiness".

I live in a small town where most people get drunk and do drugs.

This explains the reaction from a lot of your friends. You're surrounding yourself with the wrong people.

That is partially why I post things on my Facebook page, I haven't started my blog yet, just written a bunch of posts but I just started a course on it so I haven't gotten to the part yet about picking your blog name.

Stop pushing your "business" onto your friends. Make a blog today. You can even make one for free. Or an Instagram. Push towards monetization.

However, my bet is that travel blogs are ultra competitive and that it will take you years of study to get good at running one.

Last year I invested a lot of money in Inbox Blueprint by Anik Singal, i'm sure some people in here know about him and that program.

I don't think anyone here knows about him, and that you got suckered in with money chasing dreams instead of value-centric dreams.

Then I invested a lot of money in Sitesell where you create a website based on your passion, they are proven to be some of the most successful websites out there. I didn't know what my passion was at the time, I thought it was holistic health, so I started it based around that. But then I found out Google doesn't give you traffic to your website if it's about health and you have no credentials. Another costly mistake.

This sounds like another bullshit guru course.

Stop using the word "invested", and start using the phrase "wasted".

My words are harsh, but the faster you realize that most of these "courses" and "gurus" have vastly more failures than successes amongst student, then you'll better identify which information is valuable and which is a waste of time when it comes your way.

Last year I invested a lot of money in Inbox Blueprint by Anik Singal, i'm sure some people in here know about him and that program. Well turns out I am not cut out for affiliate marketing. Then I invested a lot of money in Sitesell where you create a website based on your passion, they are proven to be some of the most successful websites out there. I didn't know what my passion was at the time, I thought it was holistic health, so I started it based around that. But then I found out Google doesn't give you traffic to your website if it's about health and you have no credentials. Another costly mistake. So then I just got frustrated with building something online and focused on enjoying my life and not trying to think so hard about it. So I spent my time camping and taking pictures and sharing my travels on FB. That's when I realized that I was already doing what I wanted to do, and got an email from one of the biggest travel writing businesses about a workshop that teaches you how to earn money traveling and taking pictures. Ah-ha moment!

I'm genuinely sad reading your post, because if you're like most people in your situation, then it will take you at least 3-5 years before you realize that you're on the wrong path. By that point, your upfront inheritance will have run out, you'll have stopped traveling, and you'll be back to slaving away at the same station in life that you were at before. You're having trouble identifying which information is valuable and which is guru bullshit. You're being led astray. If I were you, I'd start by creating a thread on this forum and letting people give feedback on your plans/sharing what you're doing/etc. That's your best bet. Otherwise, you're just relying on your own misguided decision making, which I'd bet 100-1 odds will lead you towards failure.

 

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[AgainstAllOdds]

Also, this thread is the perfect example of how very few people on this forum actually read the posts. Everyone's hopping in to give feedback on the title and original post. Other than a couple posters in this thread, no one's bothering to tell this girl that she's getting suckered.

I wish there was still +Rep so that I could toss it @Bertram 's way.

 

[Hai]

There are a few things going on right now(from what I can read):

1. To your friends it looks like you´re bragging
2. You haven´t made money from your travel blog yet. So everything you do is unproven.
3. Your friends are either jealous OR trying to warn you
4. As the others mentioned, the extrepreneurial journey can be lonely because the others have a different perspective.

Edit: Definitely what @AgainstAllOdds said.

Edit2: Here is a true investment you can make: The 2020 Fastlane Summit.
It features true entrepreneurs, who are able to guide you and show you the right path. A lovely community with no guru BS.

MEETUPS - 2020 Fastlane Summit at Talking Stick Resort... Event Info

Personally, I would join sth like this once but it is too far away. The prices are very high imo. MJ, could you think of adding a (much cheaper) web access for viewing the presentations? This could cross finance the high tickets or even give opportunity to sponsor 2 or 3 live tickets for the...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[Vegvisir]

A year and a half ago I quit my job (I had an inheritance to fall back on) to focus on finding my passion, which ended up being travel writing/blogging and photography. I have never been happier in my life.

Everyone that knows me knows that I have been struggling my entire life to find my purpose, and when I finally found it I barely got any comments from my closest friends about it, online and in person. Even before my life changed, when I was depressed working 65 hours a week in a factory and never going anywhere, my friends didn't seem to care about my life.

I remember when I was starting out in entrepreneurship in my early 20's and I bought into the whole "Do what you love and you never work a day in your life". This led to many years of my trying to turn my hobbies into very moderately successful businesses. It wasn't until i read the Millionaire Fastlane section "Do What You Love and Die as You Do" that i finally dropped that notion. DJ has a whole section in chapter 30 explaining why chasing your "passions" will VERY rarely produce a fastlane business, instead you need to be focusing on market NEEDS(CENTS anyone?).

I think you need an honest assessment of your situation to ask yourself a few things.

1) Does your travel blog truly fufill a market need, or are you confusing traveling/photography and being happy your not working a shitty factory job 65 hours week anymore and trying to turn it into a business after the fact.
2) What are income goals for this travel blog, how/when do you plan to recoup your investment and earn a profit(be specific here with numbers and dates).

Ill leave you with a qoute from chapter 30: "Entrepreneurs fail because they create businesses based on selfish premises, and selfish premises don't yield profitable businesses; they lead directly into the 90% failure wastebasket."

 

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[Bertram]

Also, this thread is the perfect example of how very few people on this forum actually read the posts...

I wish there was still +Rep so that I could toss it @Bertram 's way.

Thanks!

 

[Private Witt]

What kind of travel blogger are you?

I got into the game as a travel blogger ten years ago and with a lot of cause and effect started to blog about cannabis and has lead me down an interesting path in the cannabis industry.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

Alright, but that's, like, a long time from now, and business forum advice on interpersonal relationships is only going to move the needle so far.

Have you seen @richardd 's GOLD thread about buying existing internet businesses? Take some of the windfall cash, buy an already monetized travel blog, and jump start the process. You'll be too busy building your dreams to play with frienemies.

Well winter for me starts in a few weeks, after my last music festival. That's when I hibernate and focus on my future career. I've had blogs and websites before, I know how quickly they can be up and running. My guess is I'll have it up sometime in November, unless I end up getting a full time job. I do plan to get a part time job (preferrably) in October so I know I'll have some money next summer to quit working and travel again.

No I have not seen that thread you mentioned, I am not a regular of this forum, I think this is the first time I have been on here this year. That would be a good idea if the website was what I wanted, I have a specific niche I want to get into so I don't want to just buy any random website just for the sake of it. But I am curious now so I will check out that thread.

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

Thanks. The idea just jumped out at me when she said she was already writing, but farting around with turning it into a job/ business.

It's like a cheat code.

I feel like this is an insult but I don't get it, lol What is wrong with turning something into a business? Isn't that the entrepreneurial way?

 

[GaiaGoddess]

It hurts when you realize that your "close" friends & "family" really don't give two shits about you. At least, not if you're not doing what they think you should do/want you to do.


I went through what I call "The Great Friend Divorce." It was my entire circle of "friends" .... family was a lost cause looooong before this happened, so... The GFD sucked. I simultaneously moved out from & stopped contacting/initiating with everyone in my friend circle, as I had always suspected they didn't really support/understand me. As a woman in my mid-twenties..... this was hard.

You know what happened?

Absolutely nothing.

And that F*cking hurt the most. The moment I stepped out of denial & looked at the reality of my relationships... that F*cking hurt like a bitch. It stung. It made me simultaneously angry & depressed. I already realized I didn't have much in common with them, but at least they were "friends" -we got along & had a relatively good time together. "Supported" one another. But when it came to effort, real support & caring.... they just didn't that much. Not if it didn't benefit them or align with their norms.

So off I went.... by myself... for a few years.....

Then I, quite literally by astronomical chance, found myself at a Meetup in Scottsdale.

And I've never clicked with a group so hard & so fast in all my life. It was amazing. These people just got me. And supported me. In a way I'd never experienced. And I'd literally just known them for less than 48 hours. It was F*cking amazing. I had found my tribe.

And that was now nearly 10 years ago. And we're still going strong. And when we get together, it's like no time has passed. And they are my favorite people in this world.

And I know what true, real support actually looks like. Time doesn't matter, blood doesn't matter... being real, being supportive & being genuine does.

It can hurt to take an honest look at the relationships in our lives, but it can also lead to the best relationships in our lives.

That is awesome that you found your tribe! Honestly I have found mine too, that is when my life completely changed. It was also where I met one of my friends that I am referring to in this post, but she is still ahead of the rest when it comes to being a friend. But the thing is, this tribe is all over the place, not close to me. So the only time I can see them is at festivals (how we met). I keep in touch with everyone on FB though.

Now that I think about it, it is because of my tribe that I am ok with having these less-than-perfect friends. I feel fulfilled when I am with them (which is about 10 times a year). The only thing is, they are not business people, but I fit in with them, unlike business people.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

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YES!! That is what I was looking for. I knew there was a psychological reason for this! I truly feel a lot better about this whole situation. You guys are awesome!!

 

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[GaiaGoddess]

I read some of this thread last night. Thanks for the shout-out. I was thinking the same thing, to take the inheritance money and invest in a mature blog.

Not sure how much she has available, but that would sure beat finding a job.

Would it be guaranteed to earn me money from day 1 though? Because lets say I would need to spend every dime I have, in order to not need a job anyway I would have to make money immediately. I guess I might find my answer in the thread, I'll check it out after I get done catching up! I am worried though, about buying a site that I would have to run, without ever having a successful site before, wouldn't I screw it up if I wasn't there to know how it got built? It sounds kinda like hiring someone off the street to be the CEO of a large corporation.

 

[GaiaGoddess]

I have mixed feelings about this thread.

I can understand your friends' jealously towards your FB posts. I mean you went from working bad jobs and alot of hours to inheriting some money (Do they know how much it was?). Then you quit your job and start posting about how your life is great. To them, it doesn't feel you have earned this "great" life. So I can understand their resentment when they see another post about you not working and camping.

On the opposite side, I can understand the disappointment that you feel when they don't "like" your posts. Because your friends should be happy for you, no matter how you became happy.

I just wonder if their feelings are based on the inheritance and your history. They might be thinking that when the money is gone, you'll be back at the crappy job. I remember when I started off in ecommerce, many people were scratching their head, wondering what I was doing. I bet deep down, there were thinking I was crazy to quit a job and do ecommerce. It's kind of hard to say congratulations to you if they don't believe that it will last.

I never told them exactly how much I had, no, but I did mention it wasn't enough so that I never had to work again. I told them it would buy me some time to figure my career problems out. After all, you can't have a profound moment of clarity while you are constantly stressed, depressed, and in survival mode. And it worked, what happened was exactly what I needed to happen to come to my realization. I am so happy about it that I don't even care if I have to work a shitty part time job too because at least I know I'm heading in the right direction for the first time in my life. I will only need a part time job for a few years probably, according to what they said in the workshop and the blogging course.

I got carried away there, back to your post. Yes I can see where they would feel that way, knowing my money wasn't earned. I guess I feel like I have struggled and suffered for so long that I deserve a little break. I know I will need a job again, and they know that too, so it's not as bad as if I had recieved a million dollars and was buying fancy cars, etc. I live in a trailer park in a trailer older than me that is falling apart, and my car is 11 years old. On the surface, people probably think I'm poor. So I guess I figure my friends should be happy that after so many years of being depressed that I can finally enjoy life a little bit for a while. My entire life until a few years ago I only left my state maybe 3 times. I have only flown in a plane once. I have lived a sheltered life and now I finally feel like I am alive! That's where the FB posts stem from.