Funny breakdown of marketing

[Kingmaker]

A professor explained marketing to MBA students:

1. "You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and say 'I'm rich, marry me.' That's DIRECT MARKETING."
   
   
2. "You attend a party and your friend approaches a gorgeous girl and says 'That's my friend. He is very rich. Marry him.' That's ADVERTISING."
   
   
3. "You attend a party and a gorgeous approaches you. She says 'You are very rich. Marry me.' That's BRAND RECOGNITION."
   
   
4. "You approach a gorgeous girl at a party. You explain to her that you are very rich and that she should marry you. She slaps you in response. That's CUSTOMER FEEDBACK."
   
   
5. "You approach a gorgeous girl at a party and explain to her that you are very rich and that she should marry you. She introduces her husband. That's DEMAND & SUPPLY GAP."
   
   
6. "You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him. That's COMPETITION EATING INTO YOUR MARKET SHARE."
   
   
7. "You see a gorgeous girl at a party and just as you are about to approach her, your wife arrives. That's RESTRICTION FROM ENTERING NEW MARKET."
   
   
8. "A hot girl walks in saying 'I need a rich husband'. You hold up a sign, saying 'Husbands Available: $1M+ Net Worth!'. She comes up to you and talks to you. Later you pay Google for that. That's PAY PER CLICK MARKETING."
   
   
9. "You booty-call a girl you hooked up with last weekend, seeing if she's up for it again. She is. That's CRM."
   
   
10. "You see a gorgeous girl at a party and say Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me Marry me" That's SPAM."
    
    
11. "You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and say 'I'm rich, marry me.' You marry her and then she files for divorce and takes half your stuff making you wonder what the hell were you thinking when you spend all that money on her. That's FREEMIUM."

Edited it a bit from source: https://www.reddit.com/r/marketing/comments/3f0xha/a_very_simple_breakdown_of_marketing/

 

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[Dwight Schrute]

Xjev xuamf vji tdipesou muul moli gus HAISOMME NESLIVOPH?:F

 

[Kevin Peter]

Of muwi vu veli aq mittupt gsun vjot taqis vemipvif qsugittus!

 

[Andy Black]

E qsugittus iyqmeopif neslivoph vu NCE tvafipvt:

1. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua eqqsuedj jis epf tez 'O'n sodj, nessz ni.' Vjev't FOSIDV NESLIVOPH."
   
   
2. "Zua evvipf e qesvz epf zuas gsoipf eqqsuedjit e hushiuat hosm epf tezt 'Vjev't nz gsoipf. Ji ot wisz sodj. Nessz jon.' Vjev't EFWISVOTOPH."
   
   
3. "Zua evvipf e qesvz epf e hushiuat eqqsuedjit zua. Tji tezt 'Zua esi wisz sodj. Nessz ni.' Vjev't CSEPF SIDUHPOVOUP."
   
   
4. "Zua eqqsuedj e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua iyqmeop vu jis vjev zua esi wisz sodj epf vjev tji tjuamf nessz zua. Tji tmeqt zua op sitqupti. Vjev't DATVUNIS GIIFCEDL."
   
   
5. "Zua eqqsuedj e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz epf iyqmeop vu jis vjev zua esi wisz sodj epf vjev tji tjuamf nessz zua. Tji opvsufadit jis jatcepf. Vjev't FINEPF & TAQQMZ HEQ."
   
   
6. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua hu aq vu jis epf cigusi zua tez epzvjoph, epuvjis qistup duni epf vimm jis: 'O'n sodj. Xomm zua nessz ni?' epf tji huit xovj jon. Vjev't DUNQIVOVOUP IEVOPH OPVU ZUAS NESLIV TJESI."
   
   
7. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz epf katv et zua esi ecuav vu eqqsuedj jis, zuas xogi essowit. Vjev't SITVSODVOUP GSUN IPVISOPH PIX NESLIV."
   
   
8. "E juv hosm xemlt op tezoph 'O piif e sodj jatcepf'. Zua jumf aq e tohp, tezoph 'Jatcepft Eweomecmi: $1N+ Piv Xusvj!'. Tji dunit aq vu zua epf vemlt vu zua. Mevis zua qez Huuhmi gus vjev. Vjev't QEZ QIS DMODL NESLIVOPH."
   
   
9. "Zua cuuvz-demm e hosm zua juulif aq xovj metv xiilipf, tiioph og tji't aq gus ov eheop. Tji ot. Vjev't DSN."
   
   
10. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz epf tez Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni" Vjev't TQEN."
    
    
11. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua eqqsuedj jis epf tez 'O'n sodj, nessz ni.' Zua nessz jis epf vjip tji gomit gus fowusdi epf velit jemg zuas tvagg neloph zua xupfis xjev vji jimm xisi zua vjoploph xjip zua tqipf emm vjev nupiz up jis. Vjev't GSIINOAN."

Ifovif ov e cov gsun tuasdi: E wisz tonqmi csielfuxp ug neslivoph. • /s/neslivoph

Mum. Podi tjesi.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

E qsugittus iyqmeopif neslivoph vu NCE tvafipvt:

1. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua eqqsuedj jis epf tez 'O'n sodj, nessz ni.' Vjev't FOSIDV NESLIVOPH."
   
   
2. "Zua evvipf e qesvz epf zuas gsoipf eqqsuedjit e hushiuat hosm epf tezt 'Vjev't nz gsoipf. Ji ot wisz sodj. Nessz jon.' Vjev't EFWISVOTOPH."
   
   
3. "Zua evvipf e qesvz epf e hushiuat eqqsuedjit zua. Tji tezt 'Zua esi wisz sodj. Nessz ni.' Vjev't CSEPF SIDUHPOVOUP."
   
   
4. "Zua eqqsuedj e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua iyqmeop vu jis vjev zua esi wisz sodj epf vjev tji tjuamf nessz zua. Tji tmeqt zua op sitqupti. Vjev't DATVUNIS GIIFCEDL."
   
   
5. "Zua eqqsuedj e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz epf iyqmeop vu jis vjev zua esi wisz sodj epf vjev tji tjuamf nessz zua. Tji opvsufadit jis jatcepf. Vjev't FINEPF & TAQQMZ HEQ."
   
   
6. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua hu aq vu jis epf cigusi zua tez epzvjoph, epuvjis qistup duni epf vimm jis: 'O'n sodj. Xomm zua nessz ni?' epf tji huit xovj jon. Vjev't DUNQIVOVOUP IEVOPH OPVU ZUAS NESLIV TJESI."
   
   
7. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz epf katv et zua esi ecuav vu eqqsuedj jis, zuas xogi essowit. Vjev't SITVSODVOUP GSUN IPVISOPH PIX NESLIV."
   
   
8. "E juv hosm xemlt op tezoph 'O piif e sodj jatcepf'. Zua jumf aq e tohp, tezoph 'Jatcepft Eweomecmi: $1N+ Piv Xusvj!'. Tji dunit aq vu zua epf vemlt vu zua. Mevis zua qez Huuhmi gus vjev. Vjev't QEZ QIS DMODL NESLIVOPH."
   
   
9. "Zua cuuvz-demm e hosm zua juulif aq xovj metv xiilipf, tiioph og tji't aq gus ov eheop. Tji ot. Vjev't DSN."
   
   
10. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz epf tez Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni Nessz ni" Vjev't TQEN."
    
    
11. "Zua tii e hushiuat hosm ev e qesvz. Zua eqqsuedj jis epf tez 'O'n sodj, nessz ni.' Zua nessz jis epf vjip tji gomit gus fowusdi epf velit jemg zuas tvagg neloph zua xupfis xjev vji jimm xisi zua vjoploph xjip zua tqipf emm vjev nupiz up jis. Vjev't GSIINOAN."

Ifovif ov e cov gsun tuasdi: E wisz tonqmi csielfuxp ug neslivoph. • /s/neslivoph

Jomesouat!
Siq+