First LinkedIn message after connecting with prospect

[zander1983]

This is a follow up to the thread MARKETING - Cannot even get 1 meeting with potential customers, which details my long and painful journey to getting just ONE sale.

In the end my email campaign, sent to roughly 2,000 people, got no replies. However, I did have success through LinkedIn and am quite far down the line with a very large pharma company. The deal is non-exclusive licencing for $50,000 per year. However, its not over the line yet, and I know from experience (I was in the same position with another pharma company 6 months ago and it fell through) that theres a string chance it wont happen.

So, Im going back to LinkedIn to look for more prospects. Im connecting with people who are Head of Sales in pharma companies in the niche software industry I'm in. My first message (along with connection request) is:

Hey [name], I’m also in [industry] and came across your profile. Would love to connect

Now Ive seen different advice on the next message to send after they connect. Some people say don't pitch immediately and instead build rapport. But that strikes me as forced and fake. I quite like the post here: HOT! - MARKETING - Using LinkedIn to get Clients

So inspired by that, my message to them after they connect is:

Hi [name]

Thanks for connecting. I wanted to connect with you as I've been looking recently at [persons companys]' [industry] software. As Head of Sales, I wondered how you generate leads for the software? Im the developer of a free web-based [my software]. My users tend to find my software organically. I may well be able to help with lead generation. If you're interested, let's set up a time to talk next week.
Thanks
Mark

The idea is that by licencing or sponsoring my software - which is a lightweight web-based version of the standard industry software - they can generate leads as mine does quite well on Google and attracts users who want a lightweight version with no installation (these users are generally in labs, who may want to heavyweight industry version).

What do people think of this message?

 

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