I'll stick to the SARM one.
The headline's to vague. What does "transform your body" mean? That could be a headline targeted to Starbucks moms who want to trim those thighs. Be more specific. Use bodybuilding language if that's the audience you go after. "Gain lean muscle mass even if you're on a cut" or something.
Your button CTA tells me to get 10% off of Kong and I don't even know what that is yet.
You've got typos. Fix them.
"Kong is not your fathers supplement" doesn't really jive with me. What if the reader's father is a true badass and their idol?
You need to streamline the copy. You need to take the reader's hand and take them on a journey where they can follow every point you make. At this point, your copy is too fragmented and it feels like you just inserted buzzwords & cliche claims where you saw fit.
Let's be honest, the copy is kinda stupid and that's okay depending on the persons you wanna sell to. But if you want to sell to a person who gets interested when you claim the supplement can make their arms look like a roadmap, you're wasting your time telling them what SARM stands for and how it binds to their androgen receptors in the next paragraph. They prolly don't know or care about that. And you'd need to explain it better anyways.
I don't even see what kind of SARM it is.
You tell readers a PCT cycle isn't needed but it's still recommended to undergo a short one. That sounds kinda contradictory and doesn't make me trust your word. I know what you're saying but do your readers?
The headline's to vague. What does "transform your body" mean? That could be a headline targeted to Starbucks moms who want to trim those thighs. Be more specific. Use bodybuilding language if that's the audience you go after. "Gain lean muscle mass even if you're on a cut" or something.
Your button CTA tells me to get 10% off of Kong and I don't even know what that is yet.
You've got typos. Fix them.
"Kong is not your fathers supplement" doesn't really jive with me. What if the reader's father is a true badass and their idol?
You need to streamline the copy. You need to take the reader's hand and take them on a journey where they can follow every point you make. At this point, your copy is too fragmented and it feels like you just inserted buzzwords & cliche claims where you saw fit.
Let's be honest, the copy is kinda stupid and that's okay depending on the persons you wanna sell to. But if you want to sell to a person who gets interested when you claim the supplement can make their arms look like a roadmap, you're wasting your time telling them what SARM stands for and how it binds to their androgen receptors in the next paragraph. They prolly don't know or care about that. And you'd need to explain it better anyways.
I don't even see what kind of SARM it is.
You tell readers a PCT cycle isn't needed but it's still recommended to undergo a short one. That sounds kinda contradictory and doesn't make me trust your word. I know what you're saying but do your readers?
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