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Father-figure abandonment and entrepreneurship...

Do you have a father-figure in your life?

  • Yes, and still do!

    Votes: 26 61.9%
  • Yes, most of my life.

    Votes: 2 4.8%
  • No, he died years ago.

    Votes: 7 16.7%
  • No, he left years ago.

    Votes: 7 16.7%
  • No, he left recently (death or departure).

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    42

MJ DeMarco

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So I recently heard someone say that "entrepreneurship" is very appealing to people who have had father-figure abandonment issues early in life, either through death, or just having a father leave the family by choice.

I found it interesting because that certainly was my case. My father left the family when I was 12 or 13, and it was about the same time when I decided to become an entrepreneur (via my Lambo incident too).

Question is, has your father abandoned you? Physically? Emotionally? And now you want to be an entrepreneur?

I know this is not scientific, but I'd like to see who here has had father-figure departures.
 
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TCMorgan

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So I recently heard someone say that "entrepreneurship" is very appealing to people who have had father-figure abandonment issues early in life, either through death, or just having a father leave the family by choice.

I found it interesting because that certainly was my case. My father left the family when I was 12 or 13, and it was about the same time when I decided to become an entrepreneur (via my Lambo incident too).

Question is, has your father abandoned you? Physically? Emotionally? And now you want to be an entrepreneur?

I know this is not scientific, but I'd like to see who here has had father-figure departures.
Not me directly, but two previous employers and a few clients I've had over the years are close fits to this trend. I've noticed alcoholism being a major factor among the parents of some of these colleagues.

In those for whom alcoholism appears to be factor, I've also seen neurotic needs for control over employees/business partners.

Terrible that people are put in that position, and excellent if they can channel that energy positively into something like entrepreneurship.
 

Mikkel

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I wonder if this reason stems from the mental callouses that are built from adversity and being in discomfort due to a single income.

Maybe it comes from wishing to help your single parent quickly pay off their debt and realzing that a $10/hr job won't cut it.
 

Daniel A

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I thought of this topic a few times, including today but didn't post it, so I'm glad you did!

One of my grandfathers was dead before I was born, and the other was dead while I was very young, but I only saw him less than five times in my life. As for my father, my parents divorced when I was in my early teens, and I lived with my mother afterward.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't consider my father a quality father. One of my uncles recommended books by Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and Dale Carnegie (How to Win Friends and Influence People) when I was either 14 or 15. Unfortunately, I didn't look into them until I was either 17 or 18 after graduating high school. I was lost in community college and took a break to think, read, and so on.

I went down the internet rabbit hole, especially on YouTube, which brought me to entrepreneurship and this forum.

I'm in my late 20s now, so I've been doing a lot of reflection. Anyways, I wouldn't be surprised if not having the imagined ideal of an upbringing is the norm for a significant percentage of forum members or entrepreneurs.

As a result, I put in so much conscious effort for self-improvement with the help of books, videos, forums, etc. hence my forum avatar.
 
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Eudaimonium

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Not personally, but common as I understand among high achievers. To attempt forever to measure up to or impress a distant or emotionally unavailable father figure.

The lack of father figure is different.
 

fridge

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I think this is common with any type of parental abandonment. My mom left when I was younger and my dad was never there in any sort of way beside providing housing (no guidance at all). Subconciously parental abandonment probably sways people to having a tendency to want to prove themselves. But also there's a silver lining because you're used to navigating most things without guidance - which is perfect for entrepreneurship since (as I'm finally starting to learn and implement) there is no set directions/instructions to success.
 

steve schweitzer

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So I recently heard someone say that "entrepreneurship" is very appealing to people who have had father-figure abandonment issues early in life, either through death, or just having a father leave the family by choice.

I found it interesting because that certainly was my case. My father left the family when I was 12 or 13, and it was about the same time when I decided to become an entrepreneur (via my Lambo incident too).

Question is, has your father abandoned you? Physically? Emotionally? And now you want to be an entrepreneur?

I know this is not scientific, but I'd like to see who here has had father-figure departures.

This probably had something to do with me being an entrepeneur as well.

My father was a good, loving man that provided for his family but also had a VERY SERIOUS addiction to pills, speed and alcohol.

From the time I was about 10 I never saw him sober and mostly learned to avoid him. When he was drunk or high, which was pretty much constantly, he took his frustrations out on me. I was told for YEARS that I would never amount to shit and that I was worthless.

This is all with me being an A student and even being in a gifted class for high IQ kids.

By the time I was in high school he was so far gone into addiction he was basically not there mentally.

In my senior year of high school he finally took his own life at 56, in our house, with me at home.

Needless to say, this stuff seriously affected me being only 17 and I dropped out of school and pretty much shut down for a while.

Now that I can look back with an adult perspective I see he was really yelling at himself, not me.

Now that I have shared my back story regarding my father, I will add why this has probably helped me with my entrepeneurship.

I always knew that I wanted to be in business for myself and probably wanted to prove him wrong, even though he died a long time ago.

Still to this day, I look around my business, my property, my classic cars and all I have accomplished in my 57 years and wonder how much different things could have been with a sober father that encouraged me and was there as a mentor when I need him the most.

I still hear his voice in my head and reply to myself, "you were wrong".

Everything I have done, all the different businesses I have owned since I was 25 and even my time as a master auto tech and master car painter and bodyman were done with nothing but pure ambition and hustle. I studied everything I could get my hands on and was able to pass master certifications in the auto repair field at 23 and open my first auto repair business at 25.

I am not certain but I believe that having this experience with my father just made me have the ambition to NEVER be a failure and NEVER give up.

The sad part is that he was absolutely brilliant and a design engineer for Boing, actually helping design the nose for the 747.
 
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Myster kouadj

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J'ai donc récemment entendu quelqu'un dire que «l'entrepreneuriat» est très attrayant pour les personnes qui ont eu des problèmes d'abandon de la figure paternelle tôt dans la vie, soit par la mort, soit simplement par le fait qu'un père quitte la famille par choix.

J'ai trouvé cela intéressant parce que c'était certainement mon cas. Mon père a quitté la famille quand j'avais 12 ou 13 ans, et c'est à peu près à la même époque que j'ai décidé de devenir entrepreneur (via mon incident Lambo aussi).

La question est, votre père vous a-t-il abandonné ? Physiquement? Émotionnellement ? Et maintenant vous voulez être entrepreneur ?

Je sais que ce n'est pas scientifique, mais j'aimerais voir qui ici a eu des départs paternels.

So I recently heard someone say that "entrepreneurship" is very appealing to people who have had father-figure abandonment issues early in life, either through death, or just having a father leave the family by choice.

I found it interesting because that certainly was my case. My father left the family when I was 12 or 13, and it was about the same time when I decided to become an entrepreneur (via my Lambo incident too).

Question is, has your father abandoned you? Physically? Emotionally? And now you want to be an entrepreneur?

I know this is not scientific, but I'd like to see who here has had father-figure departures.
I have not had a parent leave. My two are still there. But their presence is almost like their absence, especially that of my father (irresponsible, sorry for the word). I don't say that to be angry with him, but given all that he left behind or fled a large part of his responsibility, I can allow myself to speak like this. Before I blame him but in the end I ended up accepting him as he is. because no one is perfect.
if today I fight, it is to settle certain Consequences of his actions that he made by bad choices or by ignorance and to be able to help my mother with these small commercial activities and brothers / sister. Then others people who are important for me. But also not to have a couple like theirs (my parents). they are a half-divorced couple. I don't want to talk too much about it. Thanks no comment.
 

WillHurtDontCare

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So I recently heard someone say that "entrepreneurship" is very appealing to people who have had father-figure abandonment issues early in life, either through death, or just having a father leave the family by choice.

it's alarming how much of our society is the result of daddy issues
 

socaldude

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How many of you had daddy issues?

I had big time daddy issues. Fights, arguments and just an overall dislike for my father.

I remember Jordan Peterson saying anti-social behavior comes from not having a father. But I also believe that it can happen in other ways.

Even to this day it saddens me to say I don’t really “like” my father. My dad was vicious and always attacked my potential and person.
 
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Devilery

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It's wild now that I think about it. I don't have a father figure nor do my closest, most entrepreneurial friends do. Those who do have father figures are generally less entrepreneurial, ambitious, etc.

Could be related to "I want to do and be better than my father" consciously or not. Could also be a forced motivation to succeed because you're a man on your own, daddy ain't going to help you if you F*ck up (because he literaly doesn't exist). There's no "safety net". Depending on why there's no father figure in one's life, there may also be a motivation to provide for your family as he couldn't. It could also make one more "control-hungry".

For me, the biggest motivation in this context is proving that genes/ upbringing, etc. are insignificant. You have full control over your present and future, and everything that is happening to you is your responsibility only. You can self-learn how to be a man, you don't need to be taught.

I hate people who blame their parents for their lack of success. They grew up in a different environment, in a different timeframe with limited access to information, don't be a bitch and man (or woman) the F*ck up!
 
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2dads

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Pretty much gone now.. but he is alive. I am now 31 years old he is in his early 60s

High functioning acholic for 95% of his life, a product of a system of neglect (orphanage's in the 1960's here in Australia were know to harbor of physical and sexual abuse.

From my birth until 20 he has a bad drunk, aggressive etc

When I was 20 my mother moved away with my 2 youngest brothers ( I am 1 of 6) - he was left by himself, he got sober and gave up the drink, he proved to my mother he changed and she came back.

I would say 4 to 5 years he was sober was the best years of my life that I can remember, no issues and he was the man my mother loved.

6 years ago my mother passed away (she had been sick for a long time), my dad had started to relapse about 6 months prior to her passing.. He just started to have a "casual drink", my mother was in too much pain to fight it.

She passed away when I was 25, sadly my dad hit the bottle harder and has for the last 6 years lived in a world of alcoholism. I feel like I was abandoned and only had a father in my life for a short period of time (compared to others, I am lucky to have had him even for that) - I lost both my mother and father at the same time. I and the rest of the family tried to help him kick it again but he doesn't want to.

Luckily my father-in-law is a good role model, not perfect by any means. Normally I would not share such a in depth look into my life to a bunch of strangers, however today is actually the 6 year anniversary of my mothers passing - I just want others to know that no matter what cards your dealt you must play them.

The reason I wanted to become an entrepreneur was that I watched my father for most of his life struggle, do jobs he hated for a family that to be honest, he did not want. I wanted to do something with my life and not slowly kill myself with alcohol
 
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Oso

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At 33 years old, the last time I saw my father was around age 6. I was always told he never wanted anything to do with me, so I never gave him/it much thought. At around 22-23, my mother sat me down and told me she had lied, stating my biological father spent the last 22-23 years constantly asking about me. I was furious. He and I semi-connected. He'd keep planning to meet up, but then cancel at the last second with some bullshit excuse. While my mother did lie to me about it, the fact is she hadn't lied about his personality traits at all, such as the fact he's a compulsive liar. He's in his late 40's and has absolutely nothing to show for it.

I'm still not sure if our interactions were his way of "checking up on me," or if he simply wanted to see where I was at in life to see if he could somehow take advantage of it. Luckily this happened a handful of years before I opened my first brick and mortar, so at the time, I didn't have anything to offer. I wouldn't have given it to him even if I had had it at that point. Anyway, I eventually told him it's abundantly clear our interactions weren't going anywhere, so he's better off simply leaving me alone, and ensuring he's at least there for his current family (he has 3 other kids with a different woman).

I believe my pull to entrepreneurship had nothing to do with my father, but rather stemmed from watching those around me constantly struggle my entire life. This is also why it took me so long to get over myself/my issues, and to ensure I never allowed myself to drown in self-pity again. Your environment truly does play a HUGE role in your mentality. Ultimately though, I realized I can both help mass amounts of people while simultaneously providing a better life for myself via entrepreneurship, thus here we are.

One of my favorite phrases/sayings/quotes/ideals (idk if it's an actual quote, though I'm sure someone much smarter than I has said this) is "you cannot control the hand that is dealt to you, but you sure as hell control how you play the cards."
 
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