Does It Hurt Bad Enough?

[ExecutionisKing]

Missed this post initially, saw it first thing this morning, great way to kickstart the day!

Great story, excellent application, good food for thought.
Rep + transferred.

 

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[GuestUser140]

More and more fastlaners have moved here but if you haven't visited here before I certainly would suggest visiting first. It's not for everyone. I thought I was going to struggle thru the heat of the summer but it was no where near as bad as I was expecting. Others will experience it and question their sanity for living here. We just happen to enjoy the heat. This time of year, however, is absolutely amazing. We're back out hiking and enjoying our surrounding. Below is a pic from a recent hike to Superstition Mountain. One of the most enjoyable hikes we've gone on to date.

Seems you had a whole lotta fun!

Did you move mainly because of the climate, or because it's good being surrounded by our kind?

 

[CEBenz]

Thank you for sharing Allen.

Vigilante, thank you for the chuckles.

 

[Mattie]

@Allen Crowley, I heard that story in one of my psychology classes. I don't know if it's the same one, but was very similar. It always stuck with me. Think that is the thing it has to hurt bad enough, because that is what gets people's attention. They don't want to move and change unless everything collapses. As much as I listen to people's stories and the pain they're going through, I know it's necessary for them. Chaos and confusion is needed, and although it's a rough thing, it's the only way they learn.

The problem is sometimes even than some choose not to learn. Think that point came for me in 2010. The pain was great enough that I decide to go through the pain and find every solution there was to overcome many obstacles. Not so hard now. I can't even remember what I was reading back than. I've read so much in four years it becomes a blur. I think out of business and success it was Napoleon hill at the time. I wasn't into business stuff yet at that point, but just starting to be a writer and finishing me degree.

Seemed hard at the time, but was worth it in the end. I had two good mentors and positive friends, so that was the start, but it's been an adventure moving on up level to level and meeting new people. I do believe you outgrow people if you are constantly succeeding. I'm at that point once again. lol The mindsets clash.

I just told a women today, because she was complaining her wealthy boyfriend wouldn't wear thrift shop clothes, and don't want her too, that he's not going to change on that, and if she wants to stay with him, she'll have to keep up and be at the same mindset. I felt bad saying that, but it's the truth. If she stays in the side walk mentality it's not going to work. It's a different lifestyle.

My purpose was to make her understand it's the mindset, which people don't really get. They just get confused why they don't get along with someone. lol I got bashed for this once before, but ha ha, it's just the way it is, you can't resonate with those that don't help themselves.

 

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[Twista]

Thanks for sharing this Allen. When ever I start having those "what if" questions come into my head regarding business, I always think of what 50 Cent says: "Get rich or die trying."

 

[KingLionel17]

A traveling salesmen was passing thru a small country town and stopped at a mom and pop convenient store to pick up snacks and a drink. The place was an old building with old wooden floors and owned by a man well into his later years.

As the salesman shopped he noticed a bloodhound laying in the corner. Every once in a while the dog would let out a soft howling moan. The salesman came to the register to pay. As the store owner and the man made small talk the bloodhound let out another painful moan. This prompted the salesman to ask, "What is wrong with your dog? Is he okay? He seems to be in some kind of pain."

The old store keeper said, "Oh, there be a nail that sticks up out the floor board over there and he just happens to be layin' on it".

"Well he's surely in some pain. Why don't he just get up and find another place to lay down?"

The store owner thought for a second and said, "Well... I reckon it just don't hurt that bad."



For many, many years I was that bloodhound.

I'd whine, moan, groan and complain about my situation... my lot in life.

One day I realized I had the power to do something about it. I guess I always had some understanding of this but never a revelation of it until February, 2013.

No, I never took NLP classes or studied Tony Robbins material (not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that). I just had an epiphany, a 'sudden and striking realization' that I've settled and everything that I've moaned about was a result of past decisions and I had the power to change it.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I couldn't take the pain of laying on that nail any longer.

I got up and moved.

I surrounded myself with world class people.

Changed my mindset. Changed my lifestyle. Changed my diet. Changed my friendships. Changed my geographic location.

And me and my family's world has drastically changed forever for the better. Physically, Financially, Relationally and Spiritually.

A few days ago we celebrated our 1 year anniversary of moving to Arizona. Hands down the best decision we have ever made. There is no going back to that 'nail in the floor'.

TL;DR

I'll close with a question...

Is the dissatisfaction of your current 'lot in life' painful enough to do something drastic enough to bring about a change?

Life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by change.

Take care my friends.

Allen

Allen I couldn't agree with you more, for months I was so motivated by TMF and this forum, I joined and a few months later and made a post in the "I just read TMF " section, then I went ghost and haven't posted anything until now.

I hit a breaking point working for CarMax in Columbus, Ohio that I wasn't getting anywhere besides getting the free training and experience in sales, the people I was around all the time didn't have the net worth I wanted to have, Ohio was always cloudy and dreadful majority of the year.

I hated it, I didn't have the motivation to do anything anymore then one day driving back from work when the sun was going down but still shining a few rays hit my skin and the sun looked so beautiful and felt so warm and made something just click in my head. I have always wanted to escape Ohio being I was born in the south and wasn't originally from there anyway I just didn't know where.

So I researched the top places I believed were the most beautiful in the U.S with sunshine and warmer than Ohio. I was down to Florida, Arizona, and California. Based on what people said and my own experience about living in Florida, and California, as well as any natural disasters, economic state, etc. I came to the conclusion that Arizona had the least probability of natural disasters, rarely ever has any hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes etc. Receives the most sunshine out of the year in the U.S, lower cost of living compared to Cali, and Florida..

I decided its time to make a change. So on July 19th, 2014 I took a cross country trip with my significant other whom I have been with for a while(which btw if you haven't taken a drive across country, its the most SPECTACULAR thing I have ever done) and took four days to get down to good olé Tempe, AZ. I can tell you that over these past few months of being here, I have never been more happier, met more people, and done so many outdoor things in my life. Its truly beautiful here and was not as bad as everyone made it seem in the summer.

I now have more energy, more desire to get up and get things done and truly appreciate life and go after my dreams. Its also VERY hard to not be motivated while you're here when there is always high net worth/high profile people driving around in their, Ferraris, GTR's, and lambos at what seems like every two seconds in Tempe and Scottsdale.. I truly believe this is where I was meant to be. The only thing left now is to put up or shut up...

@MJ DeMarco I truly thank you for creating this forum, had it not been here I don't think I would have the constant motivation I needed to get out there an do something in my life. For that I am forever grateful

 

[AllenCrawley]

Seems you had a whole lotta fun!

Did you move mainly because of the climate, or because it's good being surrounded by our kind?

Honestly, there were many reasons we made the move. Climate was certainly a big factor. Just so happens we had the coldest and longest winter in Indy we've had in a very long time. We all were ready to get out of there, lol. I had already established some like minded friends here and knew I'd get to develop those relationships further. BTW, we used @MJ DeMarco's HelpMyDecision website when considering moving. There were several other locations we were also looking at during that time.

 

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[Even Steven]

Great post, Allen. Really happy for you and your family, and kudos for doing what very few will.

For me, the pain is a job that's good (good pay, good benefits, good people). Almost too good. It's like a gilded cage. It's very comfortable, and very little is required of me on a daily basis. If I stay here, I'll be okay, but I'll never achieve my dreams. I've always seen myself exiting at some point once I can build up sufficient investments/business, but I feel that point is close and I'm gunning for it.

My wife is finally starting to come around to my way of thinking. After seeing my rental properties stabilize and start to turn a profit, dealing with shitty people at her job), and hearing me talk about books like TMF and others, I think she's starting to see it as a real possibility. Yesterday she even contacted me out of nowhere to say she had found some translation jobs online and that maybe she could test the waters of self-employment there.

I'll be following in your footsteps soon (well, not to Arizona, but you get my meaning).

 

[Franky Neizer]

Great post @AllenCrawley , this post is something I can relate to. This year hasn't been the very best. I've had some bad biz experiences and lots of hopes shattered; it feels like I've been running around in circles, I'm sick and tired of the pain. Been thinking of a geographical change before the year ends and certainly change my lifestyle and mindset, surround myself with exceptional people and let go of the time wasters.

Am the big picture type and need the change to improve me physically, financially, relationally and spiritually....

 

[pickeringmt]

Man, I really thought I was here already - but the last week has been absolute hell.

But, I'll tell you another thing - I have never felt so completely awake.

Awake to the fact that the life I built for almost 30 years ended up being a cage.

I've had this knot in my stomach. This awareness induced nausea.

I don't care what I have to do, what it takes, what I have to give up, sacrifice, or leave behind.

I can't spend another day watching my life going nowhere.

 

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[LeftBench]

What an amazing thread! Surprised I missed it originally. Pure GOLD, baby...

 

[ludlam35]

Everytime I wonder about something, I open fastlane forum and.. BAM there's topic about EXACT thing I was thinking of.

I don't know man. I can't afford to waste another year, I know it, but sometimes I just loose all hope, there are days when I'm super motivated, and days when I'm just like "meh, don't bother doing anything today" and I plunge into deep abyss of negative thoughts.

It's so hard to get up and get going, or atleast I make it so by thinking "I'm not good enough"

One step at a time. Start with one goal everyday. Eventually it will get habitual. We wouldn't be normal if we didn't have a case of the "Mondays" every now and then. Stay strong.[emoji111]

Sent from my Z970 using Tapatalk

 

[extraordwealth]

This is the tonic for the day. Great

 

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[Fatal Jay]

This was a great thread.

I find those negative thoughts pop up but I divert them before it has a chance to grow, I guess that's the human play it safe side but at the end of the day playing it safe is why a lot of people grow old with regrets. Hating their job they had for years, waiting for hope and money to fall out the sky, wishing they had done this and that.

It's uncomfortable but that's the reason why its lonely at the top and jam packed at the bottom.

 

[IrishSpring600]

Turning point: My ex.

Not about that life.

 

[DtRockstar1]

Excellent post! I have been making a conscious effort to surround myself with people who think outside of the 9-5 mentality. When you're surrounded by that mentality, it's hard to maintain the fastlane mentality. So you did it right - changed your location, friendships, environment, ect. Great job!

 

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[bossadolfo22]

We need always remember that. Thanks.

 

[OVOvince]

yes it does hurt bad enough. its the pain that is my gasoline.

 

[Mattie]

Pain and Pleasure inner mix. I suppose there is pleasure in pursuing the Fastlane. Pain in the process, but pleasure in the rewards of success.

 

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[Dami-B]

Pain and Pleasure inner mix. I suppose there is pleasure in pursuing the Fastlane. Pain in the process, but pleasure in the rewards of success.

 

[Richie_Sage]

Wow, thank you for this simple yet insightful post!

It's just like the saying goes, that wisdom lies in simplicity. Anyway, my own breaking point was when I realised that I don't want to live such a life anymore, when I started looking for some mental models and made a decision: To go all at my pursuits or none at all. Thanks again!

 

[Trevor Chaumont]

I've been doing some hard thinking lately. I can remember a few months ago, nearly half a year if not exactly, thinking that maybe I could achieve something without changing my friends. I love my current friends to death but none of them have any aspirations to be anything better than what they are now. I remember thinking that even though my girlfriend seems to be holding me back, I want to keep her around and make a good life for her because I worry she won't be able to ever do anything on her own. I don't play video games 8 hours a day but I do enjoy them frequently.
I've thought that I can achieve something without giving these things up, I enjoy challenges. Looking back on these last six months, I've achieved nothing. I've not even come close to achieving anything besides adding more student loan debt to my name. Apparently, my nail doesn't hurt me enough. I see now where all that I thought would just be a slight challenge are proving to be weights holding me down on the nail, and I'm letting them hold me down.

Thanks for this post, it puts things into perspective for me.

 

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[SteveO]

This story is fantastic. It brings up a question and some other thoughts for me though. What is it that really drives and motivates us?

I was happy in my life. The job was great and comfortable. I had a house down by the beach in San Diego. I enjoyed running and softball on the corporate teams and was able to travel to play. Most of the costs for these events were paid for by the company. I started at the bottom rung (assembling parts from midnight to morning) and was advancing through the management and technical chain.

There was no pain for me.

One of the guys that worked for me was making more money from apartments than from his job. I looked at that as a challenge. I quit my job 2 years later and never looked back.

@AllenCrawley has a completely different story. I see both angles here on the forum where people are relatively set in their lives and those that are starting from a point of pain. I wonder which group would tend to be more successful.

This post is exceptionally motivating to the people that are starting from a point of pain. Motivation clearly comes from more than one place though.

 

[TonyStark]

Ah, what a great post.

 

[Vigilante]

I remember the day you packed as much as you could fit in the trailer and headed south.

I haven't been worried about you since that day.

Even though I know it wasn't easy, and even though we both know that life won't be smooth from the day the trailer doors close forward,

what I do know is

having the guts to swing for the fences means

that some day

the ball will go over the fence.

Bumping this post for @AllenCrawley

 

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[Green Destiny]

Interesting thread. Not sure how I missed this one?

The story about the dog is interesting and it reminds of the famous anecdote about the boiled frog that was more applicable to my situation. I think no matter how bad things get, that if they happen gradually, you hardly notice them and you get used to them. I think we need a jolt that wakes us up from living unconsciously through our lives. If we don't get that jolt it doesn't mater how bad things get, we'll just carry on with the same job, relationship, friendships, environment etc until we die.

Glad things worked out so well for you.

 

[IrishSpring600]

Interesting thread. Not sure how I missed this one?

The story about the dog is interesting and it reminds of the famous anecdote about the boiled frog that was more applicable to my situation. I think no matter how bad things get, that if they happen gradually, you hardly notice them and you get used to them. I think we need a jolt that wakes us up from living unconsciously through our lives. If we don't get that jolt it doesn't mater how bad things get, we'll just carry on with the same job, relationship, friendships, environment etc until we die.

Glad things worked out so well for you.

Yeah, like my current job as a valet driver. I cry secretly seeing some 50 y/os valet drive and work two jobs knowing they have mouths to feed. I am still lucky. I still have time to turn it around!

 

[Eugen]

I LOVE this community.

I'm going to quote James Baldwin. I think you guys are going to like this:

People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.

 

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[IWC Man]

A traveling salesmen was passing thru a small country town and stopped at a mom and pop convenient store to pick up snacks and a drink. The place was an old building with old wooden floors and owned by a man well into his later years.

As the salesman shopped he noticed a bloodhound laying in the corner. Every once in a while the dog would let out a soft howling moan. The salesman came to the register to pay. As the store owner and the man made small talk the bloodhound let out another painful moan. This prompted the salesman to ask, "What is wrong with your dog? Is he okay? He seems to be in some kind of pain."

The old store keeper said, "Oh, there be a nail that sticks up out the floor board over there and he just happens to be layin' on it".

"Well he's surely in some pain. Why don't he just get up and find another place to lay down?"

The store owner thought for a second and said, "Well... I reckon it just don't hurt that bad."



For many, many years I was that bloodhound.

I'd whine, moan, groan and complain about my situation... my lot in life.

One day I realized I had the power to do something about it. I guess I always had some understanding of this but never a revelation of it until February, 2013.

No, I never took NLP classes or studied Tony Robbins material (not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that). I just had an epiphany, a 'sudden and striking realization' that I've settled and everything that I've moaned about was a result of past decisions and I had the power to change it.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I couldn't take the pain of laying on that nail any longer.

I got up and moved.

I surrounded myself with world class people.

Changed my mindset. Changed my lifestyle. Changed my diet. Changed my friendships. Changed my geographic location.

And me and my family's world has drastically changed forever for the better. Physically, Financially, Relationally and Spiritually.

A few days ago we celebrated our 1 year anniversary of moving to Arizona. Hands down the best decision we have ever made. There is no going back to that 'nail in the floor'.

TL;DR

I'll close with a question...

Is the dissatisfaction of your current 'lot in life' painful enough to do something drastic enough to bring about a change?

Life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by change.

Take care my friends.

Allen

Thank you Allen

 

[DeletedUser052]

Very valuable post @AllenCrawley. Thank you.

We know we need a change.

We know what to do, we know how to do it, yet we don't do it.

Because it doesn't hurt badly enough.