Primeperiwinkle
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- Nov 30, 2018
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So.. I love books. But more than reading I ADORE connecting with intelligent people. Sadly, finding those people was really hard.
I figured out that in a group of fifty average people maybe one person in that group would be interested in reading a book like Everything Sad is Untrue.
So I did the math and decided to start attending events with more than fifty people. Gym events, speaking seminars, church cookouts, parties at the beach.. anything and everything that had more than fifty people. Then I'd narrow down the field. I got to be really good at zeroing in on people who lived to read. Then I'd tell them about a new group I was starting.
I started just reading and inviting ppl to hang out with me. "My new group meets at Starbucks on Tuesday nights. I never know how many people will be there so just come whenever you want." Hand out my Insta or my WhatsApp and ask if they want me to text them when the group starts.
My average is about 50%. If I invite 20 ppl (after making sure they're the type of people I want) around 10 or so will show up.
It was.. messy. It was not always peaceful. But it made me some amazing friends.
Now, I have an international group of friends who all share similar values, a local book club, a mom book club, a "sisters in friendship book club".. and some other random clubs! I think I got addicted to making clubs! Right now I think I have 26 different people attending three separate groups.
Some groups were created in one week, others took years to build. Don't ask me why I make book clubs. I make them to have friends and to connect people who want friends. They're my thing. I just love hanging out with people and bringing women together.
If I could I'd connect everybody to a group. It's the best thing ever to have likeminded individuals supporting you and supporting eachother.
What do you love to do? Paint, surf, laser tag, ping pong, rock climbing? Anything?
Go start doing it.
Then link the activity with something you want to learn like stoicism or Bushido or leadership or public speaking. Be ready to share what you studied that week.
Every time you show up at 5am on a Saturday morning to go hike or arrive at 7pm on a Wednesday night to play museum/walk/tag bingo .. you'll feel stupid.
No one will be there at first. It will be just you. That's ok.
Play anyway. Have fun anyway! Repeat the speech anyway.
Bring a quote from Aristotle or a paragraph from James Clear. Memorize a line from a funny joke that you could use in a speech or a verse from Proverbs.
When somebody says "soo what are you doing?" you'll respond with, "I'm starting a group for young entrepreneurs. We show up every weekend here and bring one quote and then we run (or surf or play frisbee golf or whatever!)
People will come. Not right away.. but they'll come.
You'll have to make rules and communicate often. You'll have to adapt. You'll have to manage expectations. But they will show up. Just keep inviting people. Your vision is to grow yourself. You're happy to have them along for the ride. You plan on having fun.
People want community. They'll show up.
You just have to start and be consistent so they know where to find you. Stick to a schedule. No big surprises. Just keep telling ppl what you're doing and then keep doing it. "I'm studying ancient civilizations and doing meditation on the beach!"
"I collect rocks in the woods and make little towers, then I write a haiku in dirt."
"I read economics books and then train for my first triathlon!"
Just be you. Begin how you mean to go on.
It's possible nobody will show up for a while.. but I guarantee you if you invite 20 ppl a week face-to-face, you will find some quality friends.
You don't have to have anything more than a quote and the willingness to run around a track.. if you tell people you're doing something fun and wholesome and healthy they will show up. If you maintain your integrity and add value to their lives they will keep showing up. If you care about them they will love you.
Let me repeat that. If you care about them they will love you right back.
If you maintain your boundaries, some of them will get verrrrrrrrry angry. But ppl will show up and they'll be challenged to grow too.
People are just waiting for somebody else to tell them where to go and when to be there. Be that person. Be the person you wish somebody was for you, right now.
When you hit difficulties (and you will) come back here to ask advice. Pray. Find mentors.
You're more than capable of making some great friends. You just need to tap into the type of people who have good values.
Good luck.
I figured out that in a group of fifty average people maybe one person in that group would be interested in reading a book like Everything Sad is Untrue.
So I did the math and decided to start attending events with more than fifty people. Gym events, speaking seminars, church cookouts, parties at the beach.. anything and everything that had more than fifty people. Then I'd narrow down the field. I got to be really good at zeroing in on people who lived to read. Then I'd tell them about a new group I was starting.
I started just reading and inviting ppl to hang out with me. "My new group meets at Starbucks on Tuesday nights. I never know how many people will be there so just come whenever you want." Hand out my Insta or my WhatsApp and ask if they want me to text them when the group starts.
My average is about 50%. If I invite 20 ppl (after making sure they're the type of people I want) around 10 or so will show up.
It was.. messy. It was not always peaceful. But it made me some amazing friends.
Now, I have an international group of friends who all share similar values, a local book club, a mom book club, a "sisters in friendship book club".. and some other random clubs! I think I got addicted to making clubs! Right now I think I have 26 different people attending three separate groups.
Some groups were created in one week, others took years to build. Don't ask me why I make book clubs. I make them to have friends and to connect people who want friends. They're my thing. I just love hanging out with people and bringing women together.
If I could I'd connect everybody to a group. It's the best thing ever to have likeminded individuals supporting you and supporting eachother.
What do you love to do? Paint, surf, laser tag, ping pong, rock climbing? Anything?
Go start doing it.
Then link the activity with something you want to learn like stoicism or Bushido or leadership or public speaking. Be ready to share what you studied that week.
Every time you show up at 5am on a Saturday morning to go hike or arrive at 7pm on a Wednesday night to play museum/walk/tag bingo .. you'll feel stupid.
No one will be there at first. It will be just you. That's ok.
Play anyway. Have fun anyway! Repeat the speech anyway.
Bring a quote from Aristotle or a paragraph from James Clear. Memorize a line from a funny joke that you could use in a speech or a verse from Proverbs.
When somebody says "soo what are you doing?" you'll respond with, "I'm starting a group for young entrepreneurs. We show up every weekend here and bring one quote and then we run (or surf or play frisbee golf or whatever!)
People will come. Not right away.. but they'll come.
You'll have to make rules and communicate often. You'll have to adapt. You'll have to manage expectations. But they will show up. Just keep inviting people. Your vision is to grow yourself. You're happy to have them along for the ride. You plan on having fun.
People want community. They'll show up.
You just have to start and be consistent so they know where to find you. Stick to a schedule. No big surprises. Just keep telling ppl what you're doing and then keep doing it. "I'm studying ancient civilizations and doing meditation on the beach!"
"I collect rocks in the woods and make little towers, then I write a haiku in dirt."
"I read economics books and then train for my first triathlon!"
Just be you. Begin how you mean to go on.
It's possible nobody will show up for a while.. but I guarantee you if you invite 20 ppl a week face-to-face, you will find some quality friends.
You don't have to have anything more than a quote and the willingness to run around a track.. if you tell people you're doing something fun and wholesome and healthy they will show up. If you maintain your integrity and add value to their lives they will keep showing up. If you care about them they will love you.
Let me repeat that. If you care about them they will love you right back.
If you maintain your boundaries, some of them will get verrrrrrrrry angry. But ppl will show up and they'll be challenged to grow too.
People are just waiting for somebody else to tell them where to go and when to be there. Be that person. Be the person you wish somebody was for you, right now.
When you hit difficulties (and you will) come back here to ask advice. Pray. Find mentors.
You're more than capable of making some great friends. You just need to tap into the type of people who have good values.
Good luck.