Ditching old friends to find like minded guys.

[Sorrento]

So I'm 17 rn, got strict parents (am grateful, coz due to that I'm not into drugs and partying) but then they want to get a job after college.

I want to do some business, I want to show them results first before telling them that I don't want to get a job, so that they can trust me.
But due to strict parents, I can't do some drastic, big stuff. I need to start small and grow from that.
So
The thing is, I want friends - like minded people, who are confident, self improving and taking good decision. But the type of people I'm surrounded with are intrested in doing drugs, partying, one night stands etc.

Now we all know you r the person u hangout with, so I want to meet new people working towards saw direction.

How can I network, idc about age, gender, whether online or irl.
Even tho am surrounded with tons of friends, still feel alone coz no one relates with me.

Am still hustling and not giving af about others and constantly trying my best to improve myself.

Would love your suggestion on how I can find other people working in the same direction.
I find network events worthless coz most people there don't have the fastlaner mindset, most people there want to get rich easy...... am Not that dumb

@MJ DeMarco

 

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[WJK]

So I'm 17 rn, got strict parents (am grateful, coz due to that I'm not into drugs and partying) but then they want to get a job after college.

I want to do some business, I want to show them results first before telling them that I don't want to get a job, so that they can trust me.
But due to strict parents, I can't do some drastic, big stuff. I need to start small and grow from that.
So
The thing is, I want friends - like minded people, who are confident, self improving and taking good decision. But the type of people I'm surrounded with are intrested in doing drugs, partying, one night stands etc.

Now we all know you r the person u hangout with, so I want to meet new people working towards saw direction.

How can I network, idc about age, gender, whether online or irl.
Even tho am surrounded with tons of friends, still feel alone coz no one relates with me.

Am still hustling and not giving af about others and constantly trying my best to improve myself.

Would love your suggestion on how I can find other people working in the same direction.
I find network events worthless coz most people there don't have the fastlaner mindset, most people there want to get rich easy...... am Not that dumb

@MJ DeMarco

Work. Get out there and move around. You will meet people during your travels.

 

[circleme]

So I'm 17 rn, got strict parents (am grateful, coz due to that I'm not into drugs and partying) but then they want to get a job after college.

I want to do some business, I want to show them results first before telling them that I don't want to get a job, so that they can trust me.
But due to strict parents, I can't do some drastic, big stuff. I need to start small and grow from that.
So
The thing is, I want friends - like minded people, who are confident, self improving and taking good decision. But the type of people I'm surrounded with are intrested in doing drugs, partying, one night stands etc.

Now we all know you r the person u hangout with, so I want to meet new people working towards saw direction.

How can I network, idc about age, gender, whether online or irl.
Even tho am surrounded with tons of friends, still feel alone coz no one relates with me.

Am still hustling and not giving af about others and constantly trying my best to improve myself.

Would love your suggestion on how I can find other people working in the same direction.
I find network events worthless coz most people there don't have the fastlaner mindset, most people there want to get rich easy...... am Not that dumb

@MJ DeMarco

That's a fairly important topic in my humble opinion.

The thing I have noticed in the past is that I kind of automatically got to meet/connect with more successful people the more success I had. I was as a freelancer back then, but I guess you can convert that to any business area. Success attracts success. Failure attracts failure.

That being said, maybe achieving results first will catapult you in a direction where it's unlikely that you will hang out with the guys you've described anymore.

 

[Sorrento]

Work. Get out there and move around. You will meet people during your travels.

Agreed, thanks for ur suggestion, means alot

 

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[Sorrento]

That's a fairly important topic in my humble opinion.

The thing I have noticed in the past is that I kind of automatically got to meet/connect with more successful people the more success I had. I was as a freelancer back then, but I guess you can convert that to any business area. Success attracts success. Failure attracts failure.

That being said, maybe achieving results first will catapult you in a direction where it's unlikely that you will hang out with the guys you've described anymore.

Yea man, "success attracts success" Thats so true, will try my best to win more ! Thanks for your reply, means alot to me.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

So I'm 17 rn, got strict parents (am grateful, coz due to that I'm not into drugs and partying) but then they want to get a job after college.

I want to do some business, I want to show them results first before telling them that I don't want to get a job, so that they can trust me.
But due to strict parents, I can't do some drastic, big stuff. I need to start small and grow from that.
So
The thing is, I want friends - like minded people, who are confident, self improving and taking good decision. But the type of people I'm surrounded with are intrested in doing drugs, partying, one night stands etc.

Now we all know you r the person u hangout with, so I want to meet new people working towards saw direction.

How can I network, idc about age, gender, whether online or irl.
Even tho am surrounded with tons of friends, still feel alone coz no one relates with me.

Am still hustling and not giving af about others and constantly trying my best to improve myself.

Would love your suggestion on how I can find other people working in the same direction.
I find network events worthless coz most people there don't have the fastlaner mindset, most people there want to get rich easy...... am Not that dumb

@MJ DeMarco

Pretty impressive outlook for a 17 year old, congrats.

As for the problematic friends, friends tend to cycle like chapters in a book. If you enjoy their company, they don't need to be ditched. However, if they are trying to get you into drugs and adverse behavior, it might be best to keep them at a distance.

As you grow into happiness and success, you will attract the friends you deserve. Sometimes you just need to be patient. However, you can also be proactive in that by joining community groups that might be a fit for those with a growth-mindset. Fitness groups are great because fitness is a slow-growth, slow-results discipline.

 

[Sorrento]

Pretty impressive outlook for a 17 year old, congrats.

As for the problematic friends, friends tend to cycle like chapters in a book. If you enjoy their company, they don't need to be ditched. However, if they are trying to get you into drugs and adverse behavior, it might be best to keep them at a distance.

As you grow into happiness and success, you will attract the friends you deserve. Sometimes you just need to be patient. However, you can also be proactive in that by joining community groups that might be a fit for those with a growth-mindset. Fitness groups are great because fitness is a slow-growth, slow-results discipline.

Thanks for replying, I will try my best to improve and connect with people with growth mindset. Ur reply means alot to me, I have to say even though u r such a busy person, I'm IMPRESSED how u r active in the forum and always helping everyone, thanks for creating this wonderful forum and writing ur books!!!
Thanks alot Mj.

 

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[Primeperiwinkle]

So.. I love books. But more than reading I ADORE connecting with intelligent people. Sadly, finding those people was really hard.
I figured out that in a group of fifty average people maybe one person in that group would be interested in reading a book like Everything Sad is Untrue.

So I did the math and decided to start attending events with more than fifty people. Gym events, speaking seminars, church cookouts, parties at the beach.. anything and everything that had more than fifty people. Then I'd narrow down the field. I got to be really good at zeroing in on people who lived to read. Then I'd tell them about a new group I was starting.

I started just reading and inviting ppl to hang out with me. "My new group meets at Starbucks on Tuesday nights. I never know how many people will be there so just come whenever you want." Hand out my Insta or my WhatsApp and ask if they want me to text them when the group starts.

My average is about 50%. If I invite 20 ppl (after making sure they're the type of people I want) around 10 or so will show up.

It was.. messy. It was not always peaceful. But it made me some amazing friends.

Now, I have an international group of friends who all share similar values, a local book club, a mom book club, a "sisters in friendship book club".. and some other random clubs! I think I got addicted to making clubs! Right now I think I have 26 different people attending three separate groups.

Some groups were created in one week, others took years to build. Don't ask me why I make book clubs. I make them to have friends and to connect people who want friends. They're my thing. I just love hanging out with people and bringing women together.

If I could I'd connect everybody to a group. It's the best thing ever to have likeminded individuals supporting you and supporting eachother.

What do you love to do? Paint, surf, laser tag, ping pong, rock climbing? Anything?

Go start doing it.

Then link the activity with something you want to learn like stoicism or Bushido or leadership or public speaking. Be ready to share what you studied that week.

Every time you show up at 5am on a Saturday morning to go hike or arrive at 7pm on a Wednesday night to play museum/walk/tag bingo .. you'll feel stupid.

No one will be there at first. It will be just you. That's ok.

Play anyway. Have fun anyway! Repeat the speech anyway.

Bring a quote from Aristotle or a paragraph from James Clear. Memorize a line from a funny joke that you could use in a speech or a verse from Proverbs.

When somebody says "soo what are you doing?" you'll respond with, "I'm starting a group for young entrepreneurs. We show up every weekend here and bring one quote and then we run (or surf or play frisbee golf or whatever!)

People will come. Not right away.. but they'll come.

You'll have to make rules and communicate often. You'll have to adapt. You'll have to manage expectations. But they will show up. Just keep inviting people. Your vision is to grow yourself. You're happy to have them along for the ride. You plan on having fun.

People want community. They'll show up.

You just have to start and be consistent so they know where to find you. Stick to a schedule. No big surprises. Just keep telling ppl what you're doing and then keep doing it. "I'm studying ancient civilizations and doing meditation on the beach!"

"I collect rocks in the woods and make little towers, then I write a haiku in dirt."

"I read economics books and then train for my first triathlon!"

Just be you. Begin how you mean to go on.

It's possible nobody will show up for a while.. but I guarantee you if you invite 20 ppl a week face-to-face, you will find some quality friends.

You don't have to have anything more than a quote and the willingness to run around a track.. if you tell people you're doing something fun and wholesome and healthy they will show up. If you maintain your integrity and add value to their lives they will keep showing up. If you care about them they will love you.

Let me repeat that. If you care about them they will love you right back.

If you maintain your boundaries, some of them will get verrrrrrrrry angry. But ppl will show up and they'll be challenged to grow too.

People are just waiting for somebody else to tell them where to go and when to be there. Be that person. Be the person you wish somebody was for you, right now.

When you hit difficulties (and you will) come back here to ask advice. Pray. Find mentors.

You're more than capable of making some great friends. You just need to tap into the type of people who have good values.
Good luck.

 

[Sorrento]

So.. I love books. But more than reading I ADORE connecting with intelligent people. Sadly, finding those people was really hard.
I figured out that in a group of fifty average people maybe one person in that group would be interested in reading a book like Everything Sad is Untrue.

So I did the math and decided to start attending events with more than fifty people. Gym events, speaking seminars, church cookouts, parties at the beach.. anything and everything that had more than fifty people. Then I'd narrow down the field. I got to be really good at zeroing in on people who lived to read. Then I'd tell them about a new group I was starting.

I started just reading and inviting ppl to hang out with me. "My new group meets at Starbucks on Tuesday nights. I never know how many people will be there so just come whenever you want." Hand out my Insta or my WhatsApp and ask if they want me to text them when the group starts.

My average is about 50%. If I invite 20 ppl (after making sure they're the type of people I want) around 10 or so will show up.

It was.. messy. It was not always peaceful. But it made me some amazing friends.

Now, I have an international group of friends who all share similar values, a local book club, a mom book club, a "sisters in friendship book club".. and some other random clubs! I think I got addicted to making clubs! Right now I think I have 26 different people attending three separate groups.

Some groups were created in one week, others took years to build. Don't ask me why I make book clubs. I make them to have friends and to connect people who want friends. They're my thing. I just love hanging out with people and bringing women together.

If I could I'd connect everybody to a group. It's the best thing ever to have likeminded individuals supporting you and supporting eachother.

What do you love to do? Paint, surf, laser tag, ping pong, rock climbing? Anything?

Go start doing it.

Then link the activity with something you want to learn like stoicism or Bushido or leadership or public speaking. Be ready to share what you studied that week.

Every time you show up at 5am on a Saturday morning to go hike or arrive at 7pm on a Wednesday night to play museum/walk/tag bingo .. you'll feel stupid.

No one will be there at first. It will be just you. That's ok.

Play anyway. Have fun anyway! Repeat the speech anyway.

Bring a quote from Aristotle or a paragraph from James Clear. Memorize a line from a funny joke that you could use in a speech or a verse from Proverbs.

When somebody says "soo what are you doing?" you'll respond with, "I'm starting a group for young entrepreneurs. We show up every weekend here and bring one quote and then we run (or surf or play frisbee golf or whatever!)

People will come. Not right away.. but they'll come.

You'll have to make rules and communicate often. You'll have to adapt. You'll have to manage expectations. But they will show up. Just keep inviting people. Your vision is to grow yourself. You're happy to have them along for the ride. You plan on having fun.

People want community. They'll show up.

You just have to start and be consistent so they know where to find you. Stick to a schedule. No big surprises. Just keep telling ppl what you're doing and then keep doing it. "I'm studying ancient civilizations and doing meditation on the beach!"

"I collect rocks in the woods and make little towers, then I write a haiku in dirt."

"I read economics books and then train for my first triathlon!"

Just be you. Begin how you mean to go on.

It's possible nobody will show up for a while.. but I guarantee you if you invite 20 ppl a week face-to-face, you will find some quality friends.

You don't have to have anything more than a quote and the willingness to run around a track.. if you tell people you're doing something fun and wholesome and healthy they will show up. If you maintain your integrity and add value to their lives they will keep showing up. If you care about them they will love you.

Let me repeat that. If you care about them they will love you right back.

If you maintain your boundaries, some of them will get verrrrrrrrry angry. But ppl will show up and they'll be challenged to grow too.

People are just waiting for somebody else to tell them where to go and when to be there. Be that person. Be the person you wish somebody was for you, right now.

When you hit difficulties (and you will) come back here to ask advice. Pray. Find mentors.

You're more than capable of making some great friends. You just need to tap into the type of people who have good values.
Good luck.

Damn, that's actually a very nice way to look at networking.
Love your suggestion, I'll try my best.
Thanks for taking out ur precious time in writing this.
I Appreciate it alot.

 

[Andy Black]

So.. I love books. But more than reading I ADORE connecting with intelligent people. Sadly, finding those people was really hard.
I figured out that in a group of fifty average people maybe one person in that group would be interested in reading a book like Everything Sad is Untrue.

So I did the math and decided to start attending events with more than fifty people. Gym events, speaking seminars, church cookouts, parties at the beach.. anything and everything that had more than fifty people. Then I'd narrow down the field. I got to be really good at zeroing in on people who lived to read. Then I'd tell them about a new group I was starting.

I started just reading and inviting ppl to hang out with me. "My new group meets at Starbucks on Tuesday nights. I never know how many people will be there so just come whenever you want." Hand out my Insta or my WhatsApp and ask if they want me to text them when the group starts.

My average is about 50%. If I invite 20 ppl (after making sure they're the type of people I want) around 10 or so will show up.

It was.. messy. It was not always peaceful. But it made me some amazing friends.

Now, I have an international group of friends who all share similar values, a local book club, a mom book club, a "sisters in friendship book club".. and some other random clubs! I think I got addicted to making clubs! Right now I think I have 26 different people attending three separate groups.

Some groups were created in one week, others took years to build. Don't ask me why I make book clubs. I make them to have friends and to connect people who want friends. They're my thing. I just love hanging out with people and bringing women together.

If I could I'd connect everybody to a group. It's the best thing ever to have likeminded individuals supporting you and supporting eachother.

What do you love to do? Paint, surf, laser tag, ping pong, rock climbing? Anything?

Go start doing it.

Then link the activity with something you want to learn like stoicism or Bushido or leadership or public speaking. Be ready to share what you studied that week.

Every time you show up at 5am on a Saturday morning to go hike or arrive at 7pm on a Wednesday night to play museum/walk/tag bingo .. you'll feel stupid.

No one will be there at first. It will be just you. That's ok.

Play anyway. Have fun anyway! Repeat the speech anyway.

Bring a quote from Aristotle or a paragraph from James Clear. Memorize a line from a funny joke that you could use in a speech or a verse from Proverbs.

When somebody says "soo what are you doing?" you'll respond with, "I'm starting a group for young entrepreneurs. We show up every weekend here and bring one quote and then we run (or surf or play frisbee golf or whatever!)

People will come. Not right away.. but they'll come.

You'll have to make rules and communicate often. You'll have to adapt. You'll have to manage expectations. But they will show up. Just keep inviting people. Your vision is to grow yourself. You're happy to have them along for the ride. You plan on having fun.

People want community. They'll show up.

You just have to start and be consistent so they know where to find you. Stick to a schedule. No big surprises. Just keep telling ppl what you're doing and then keep doing it. "I'm studying ancient civilizations and doing meditation on the beach!"

"I collect rocks in the woods and make little towers, then I write a haiku in dirt."

"I read economics books and then train for my first triathlon!"

Just be you. Begin how you mean to go on.

It's possible nobody will show up for a while.. but I guarantee you if you invite 20 ppl a week face-to-face, you will find some quality friends.

You don't have to have anything more than a quote and the willingness to run around a track.. if you tell people you're doing something fun and wholesome and healthy they will show up. If you maintain your integrity and add value to their lives they will keep showing up. If you care about them they will love you.

Let me repeat that. If you care about them they will love you right back.

If you maintain your boundaries, some of them will get verrrrrrrrry angry. But ppl will show up and they'll be challenged to grow too.

People are just waiting for somebody else to tell them where to go and when to be there. Be that person. Be the person you wish somebody was for you, right now.

When you hit difficulties (and you will) come back here to ask advice. Pray. Find mentors.

You're more than capable of making some great friends. You just need to tap into the type of people who have good values.
Good luck.

... but that sounds like a lot of work @Primeperiwinkle!

 

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[Sorrento]

... but that sounds like a lot of work @Primeperiwinkle!

Then what would u suggest?

 

[Andy Black]

Then what would u suggest?

I was being sarcastic. I know, I know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

I was suggesting it's too much hard work to make the life I want so I'll continue complaining about it instead.

It wasn't a dig at anyone either.

Really, I should have complimented @Primeperiwinkle on what she's done, how she's done it, and sharing it with us.

That's my usual modus operandus. Which I should probably stick with.


Basically, if you want to meet like-minded people then get off the sofa and make things happen.

Same as if you want to build a business.

 

[Jake1]

So I'm 17 rn, got strict parents (am grateful, coz due to that I'm not into drugs and partying) but then they want to get a job after college.

I want to do some business, I want to show them results first before telling them that I don't want to get a job, so that they can trust me.
But due to strict parents, I can't do some drastic, big stuff. I need to start small and grow from that.
So
The thing is, I want friends - like minded people, who are confident, self improving and taking good decision. But the type of people I'm surrounded with are intrested in doing drugs, partying, one night stands etc.

Now we all know you r the person u hangout with, so I want to meet new people working towards saw direction.

How can I network, idc about age, gender, whether online or irl.
Even tho am surrounded with tons of friends, still feel alone coz no one relates with me.

Am still hustling and not giving af about others and constantly trying my best to improve myself.

Would love your suggestion on how I can find other people working in the same direction.
I find network events worthless coz most people there don't have the fastlaner mindset, most people there want to get rich easy...... am Not that dumb

@MJ DeMarco

Hey man, in a similar boat.
How can I message you privately? (I’m new here)

 

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[Sorrento]

I was being sarcastic. I know, I know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

I was suggesting it's too much hard work to make the life I want so I'll continue complaining about it instead.

It wasn't a dig at anyone either.

Really, I should have complimented @Primeperiwinkle on what she's done, how she's done it, and sharing it with us.

That's my usual modus operandus. Which I should probably stick with.


Basically, if you want to meet like-minded people then get off the sofa and make things happen.

Same as if you want to build a business.

Hahah, good one lol, yes that's what so far the comments I'm getting, is to start working my a$$. Thanks I appreciate ur comment.

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

... but that sounds like a lot of work @Primeperiwinkle!

This made me chuckle. I immediately knew you were being funny.

You have to come visit us someday. Bring the family, we'd all get on like a house on fire.

 

[WJK]

... but that sounds like a lot of work @Primeperiwinkle!

I agree. We used to have a landlord association here in my area before Covid. I thought about starting it again, but it wouldn't have much of a positive impact on my business. It was fun to go to the meetings. Being the person in charge would be just a lot of work.

I found the same for teaching an RE class at Jr. college. I loved the teaching. Showing up every week, wearing the right clothes, with the right paperwork, and at the right time, became a real chore. I ended up doing guest lectures for RE classes rather than trying to teach every week. It took a lot less stress and it was fun.

 

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[Jrjohnny]

You’ve gotten a lot of good answers.

For me, I’m reconnecting with my old friends until I succeed, as I still have fun with those friends and they make me feel refreshed.

If you want people who are willing to get fit, go to the gym.

Go to places where you think the people your looking for will be.

I hope that helps, I can’t really type right now as I’m on the bus and I’m dripping sweat because torontos on fire right now.

 

[e_ryan]

So I'm 17 rn, got strict parents (am grateful, coz due to that I'm not into drugs and partying) but then they want to get a job after college.

I want to do some business, I want to show them results first before telling them that I don't want to get a job, so that they can trust me.
But due to strict parents, I can't do some drastic, big stuff. I need to start small and grow from that.
So
The thing is, I want friends - like minded people, who are confident, self improving and taking good decision. But the type of people I'm surrounded with are intrested in doing drugs, partying, one night stands etc.

Now we all know you r the person u hangout with, so I want to meet new people working towards saw direction.

How can I network, idc about age, gender, whether online or irl.
Even tho am surrounded with tons of friends, still feel alone coz no one relates with me.

Am still hustling and not giving af about others and constantly trying my best to improve myself.

Would love your suggestion on how I can find other people working in the same direction.
I find network events worthless coz most people there don't have the fastlaner mindset, most people there want to get rich easy...... am Not that dumb

@MJ DeMarco

Hey I am 19 and in a somewhat similar situation to you, would you be down to connect in DMs?

 

[Sorrento]

You’ve gotten a lot of good answers.

For me, I’m reconnecting with my old friends until I succeed, as I still have fun with those friends and they make me feel refreshed.

If you want people who are willing to get fit, go to the gym.

Go to places where you think the people your looking for will be.

I hope that helps, I can’t really type right now as I’m on the bus and I’m dripping sweat because torontos on fire right now.

View attachment 51184

Damn bro, did u survived that bus travel, also thanks for the advice, does make alot of sense

 

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