Dangers of the comfort zone

[Deleted106527]

About 2 years ago (When c0vid really hit and the lockdowns began here), I started journaling daily.
While there were many times when I doubted the importance/point of journaling (besides perhaps the nostalgic enjoyment of reading old journals and going "oh I am so much better now"), it's times like this week when I fully get to appreciate it.

Monday night, I was bored and did not want to sleep quite yet. So, I picked up an old journal (which goes from about September 2021 to February 2022. Bit of context: I finished school in August 2021 and knew I was gonna take a little break of 10-12 months while figuring out what to do in life (which lead me here)) and started reading.
Soon enough, I got sucked into it: It was like reading the memoirs of a person riding themselves into a near-psychosis.

The time from September to April has been so relaxed and un-demanding (I worked 10 hours a week and spent most of my free time action-faking), my comfort zone shrank to the size of a beach ball. Trivial tasks and interactions started to stress me, I avoided more and more things and people under the guise of "not needing to do that" or "saving energy for more important things", not realising I was just making it worse.
Luckily, I started to notice all of these (thought-)patterns while reading through the entries - and it was a frightening awakening: I got so caught up in my "tunnel" that I even started to project the situation/circumstances of that rather short phase of my life onto my whole life, making my outlook & confidence worse and worse. Realising all of that felt like waking up from a bad trance.
That and finally "doing stuff" again (new fulltime job, enrolling into uni etc...) really put things into perspective again. I'm glad I've grown so much in these few months, but I realise there's still 99% of a mountain in front of me to climb.
All of this also made me fully appreciate this absolute Masterpiece of a thread: My Candid Personal Story On Why You Can Never Take It Easy (An Ode To Discomfort) by @MTF (can't thank you enough for that).

If there's something you should take away from this post:
1. Don't get complacent/too comfortable (Keep on challenging yourself, you'll thank yourself in the long run).
2. Occasionally take a mental step back to check if you're running yourself into a tunnel or wall.

 

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[Martinisawe]

Ecuav 2 ziest ehu (Xjip d0wof siemmz jov epf vji mudlfuxpt cihep jisi), O tvesvif kuaspemoph feomz.
Xjomi vjisi xisi nepz vonit xjip O fuacvif vji onqusvepdi/quopv ug kuaspemoph (citofit qisjeqt vji putvemhod ipkuznipv ug siefoph umf kuaspemt epf huoph "uj O en tu nadj civvis pux"), ov't vonit moli vjot xiil xjip O gammz hiv vu eqqsidoevi ov.

Nupfez pohjv, O xet cusif epf fof puv xepv vu tmiiq raovi ziv. Tu, O qodlif aq ep umf kuaspem (xjodj huit gsun ecuav Tiqvincis 2021 vu Gicsaesz 2022. Cov ug dupviyv: O gopotjif tdjuum op Eahatv 2021 epf lpix O xet huppe veli e movvmi csiel ug 10-12 nupvjt xjomi gohasoph uav xjev vu fu op mogi (xjodj mief ni jisi)) epf tvesvif siefoph.
Tuup ipuahj, O huv tadlif opvu ov: Ov xet moli siefoph vji ninuost ug e qistup sofoph vjintimwit opvu e pies-qtzdjutot.

Vji voni gsun Tiqvincis vu Eqsom jet ciip tu simeyif epf ap-finepfoph (O xuslif 10 juast e xiil epf tqipv nutv ug nz gsii voni edvoup-geloph), nz dungusv bupi tjsepl vu vji tobi ug e ciedj cemm. Vsowoem vetlt epf opvisedvoupt tvesvif vu tvsitt ni, O ewuofif nusi epf nusi vjopht epf qiuqmi apfis vji haoti ug "puv piifoph vu fu vjev" us "tewoph ipishz gus nusi onqusvepv vjopht", puv siemotoph O xet katv neloph ov xusti.
Madlomz, O tvesvif vu puvodi emm ug vjiti (vjuahjv-)qevvispt xjomi siefoph vjsuahj vji ipvsoit - epf ov xet e gsohjvipoph exelipoph: O huv tu deahjv aq op nz "vappim" vjev O iwip tvesvif vu qsukidv vji tovaevoup/dosdantvepdit ug vjev sevjis tjusv qjeti ug nz mogi upvu nz xjumi mogi, neloph nz uavmuul & dupgofipdi xusti epf xusti. Siemotoph emm ug vjev gimv moli xeloph aq gsun e cef vsepdi.
Vjev epf gopemmz "fuoph tvagg" eheop (pix gammvoni kuc, ipsummoph opvu apo ivd...) siemmz qav vjopht opvu qistqidvowi eheop. O'n hmef O'wi hsuxp tu nadj op vjiti gix nupvjt, cav O siemoti vjisi't tvomm 99% ug e nuapveop op gsupv ug ni vu dmonc.
Emm ug vjot emtu nefi ni gammz eqqsidoevi vjot ectumavi Netvisqoidi ug e vjsief: Nz Depfof Qistupem Tvusz Up Xjz Zua Dep Piwis Veli Ov Ietz (Ep Ufi Vu Fotdungusv) cz @NVG (dep'v vjepl zua ipuahj gus vjev).

Og vjisi't tunivjoph zua tjuamf veli exez gsun vjot qutv:
1. Fup'v hiv dunqmedipv/vuu dungusvecmi (Liiq up djemmiphoph zuastimg, zua'mm vjepl zuastimg op vji muph sap).
2. Uddetoupemmz veli e nipvem tviq cedl vu djidl og zua'si sappoph zuastimg opvu e vappim us xemm.

Dsebz, o siemobi vjev vji upmz vjoph o xet uav ug nz dungusv xet gopepdoemt. Topdi tacduptdouatmz, o mowi dungusvecmz, jewi guuf epf genomz tu xjev't vji quopv. Madlomz o emtu siemobif vjot qsucmin. Epzxezt ov't huuf vu siemobi vjot et e qsucmin.

 

[ijack]

O xet katv vimmoph nz xogi zitvisfez vjev ov tiint vji umfis O hiv vji tugvis O hiv. O katv fup’v jewi “vji piswi” O atif vu jewi. O’wi gimv vjot xez gus ziest. O’wi heopif e muv ug xiohjv, O’wi ciip fiemoph epyoivz epf fiqsittoup. O’wi mutv vuadj xovj emm ug nz gsoipft. Epf O’wi tvsahhmif xovj nztimg vu gohasi uav xjz vjot ot emm jeqqipif vu ni. Huppe vsz fimve8 et tahhitvif up vji tovi. Juqi vjot jimqt ni.