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Becoming bigger than your problems

yveskleinsky

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I don't deal with stress very well; thank God WildAmbitions does. When things go wrong I don't eat or sleep and I can't focus- not to mention this crushing sense of doom that hangs over me. Obviously reacting this way needs to change if I am going to be successful on a large scale! I currently take the time to shift my focus onto being grateful, helping others and slowing down the stressful moment so I can think clearly- because I know if I don't get a grip on this I will have a heart attack before I'm 40!

How do you guys keep your cool?
 

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phlgirl

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Breathe. Completely focus on your breathing and try to clear your mind. I don't know much about meditation but would like to learn more. I know it can be a really effective tool for managing stress and keeping things in persepective. I know that a lot of extremely successful people use mediation in their daily lives - it helps to provide balance.

Yves, it sounds like you are having a rough day. I hope it gets better. Whatever it is, try not to let it get you down and, as you said, focus on the postives (things for which you are grateful). Have faith in yourself and remember that you are capable of almost anything, once you put your mind to it.

It reminds me of someone's signature on here - 'Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way, you are right."

You can.
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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Thanks for the pep talk. You are right on all fronts. I need to clear my head and re-focus. I suppose we all start off with different strengths and weaknesses and that I need to figure out how to grow both so I can become capable as well as enjoy the process.
 

Runum

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Wow Yves, sorry to hear that this is getting to you. In my case my stress elevates when reality does not meet my expectations. Sometimes I have to adjust what I expect if I can't change the reality. If I can adjust the reality to meet my expectations then I will, otherwise take a deep breath and accept the situation.

The way I handle stress is every morning I do my back stretches and exercises, then I walk on the treadmill 15- 30 minutes while listening to some motivational speaker on CD. I use headphones so I can totally focus. I walk at a pace that is comfortable but the main thing is when I get off I am ready to tackle the world. I do this because it works for me even though I hate the mornings.

I consider everyday that I have the opportunity to further my dreams to be a great day no matter what happens to me. Yves I wish you peace and good luck with your cabins. I also hope you have a restful time during the holidays. Good luck in 08.:cheers:

Greg
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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Thanks for the support- for the most part I am an eternal optimist- but I don have my moments of self-doubt. I suppose I look around and what seems like a monumental difficulty to me seems like a cakewalk to someone else, and then I think that maybe I don't have what it takes.

Reading the Mattress Mac story recharged me and I am feeling better about things. I just need to breathe. ...That's one of the reasons I love snorkeling so much- the only thing to do is watch cool fish and breathe- can't hear anything else but the sound of my own breathing. Very Zen.
 

Russ H

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yveskleinsky-

http://www.gratefulness.org/

Watch the video in a place without noise or other distractions. :)

-Russ H.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zl9puhwiyw"]YouTube - "A Good Day" With Brother David Steindl-Rast[/ame]
 

SteveO

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Thanks Russ. :smxA:
 

Russ H

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yveskleinsky said:
How do you guys keep your cool?
Count your blessings.

You don't need to be religious to do this.

Just think about all the good things in your life.

And actually count them.

-Russ H.

"When I'm worried,
and I can't sleep
I count my blessings
instead of sheep.

And I fall asleep
counting my blessings . . ." :sleep:

(Bing Crosby, White Christmas)
 

GoldenEggs

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Right now is a HUGE test for me but I focus on things that I can do. It makes me feel better knowing that I can take action on something. No matter how big the problem, there is always some part I can work on, so then I feel like I am working toward a solution.

The really hard part is when it involves another person who will not be honest with you and continues to work behind the scenes to try and sabotage you. This is what I am trying to work through now.

I can't control people's actions but I can control how I react to them.
 

nomadjanet

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Count your blessings.

You don't need to be religious to do this.

Just think about all the good things in your life.

And actually count them.

-Russ H.

"When I'm worried,
and I can't sleep
I count my blessings
instead of sheep.

And I fall asleep
counting my blessings . . ." :sleep:

(Bing Crosby, White Christmas)
This is O So true. I have so many blessings in my life it blows my mind. Last month we had a bad month at the plumbing company. I think I made a stratigic mistake in our marketing plan for the upcoming year and the effect has started. I start digging in and working on how to make up for the issue. Friday we get a call that another business project we have had on the back burner is coming to fruition at 100% of the projected price return. We really thought this deal would not come through for another 6 months or more. Although this won't make the plumbing business better it will add several hundred thousand to our bottom line for 2008 garanted income. How many people have such a blessing happen just when they are dealing with a down turn on some other end.
When I see my bank roll getting small, I think of when I had none at all and I fall asleep counting my blessings. :)
Jaet
 

AndrewG

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Goldeneggs saw your post and your mood. I'm not sure what to say to make you feel better but maybe this will help:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjnvSQuv-H4"]YouTube - Bobby Mcferrin - Don't Worry, Be Happy[/ame]
 

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Russ H

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Your posting "Don't Worry, Be Happy" brought back memories.

Back in the late 80s (before cellphones got popular-- and affordable), my service hotline went to an answering machine when I was out of my home office. I did answer that line 24/7 when I was home, but I wasn't always there.

The late 80s was when this song first came out. I had the whistling portion of it in the background on my service hotline, explaining that I would call the person back the minute I got back, and to let me know how early (or late) I could call them.

I was always surprised at the number of people who either hung up, laughing, or left a message with a smile, telling me that it wasn't *that* big of an emergency (remember, this line was *only* used for emergency service repairs). For the people that recognized the tune, it was a great way to say, in a gentle, fun way-- "Relax-- it's not that bad!"

A very powerful message.

-Russ H.
 

AndrewG

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That's a great story. This song really makes you think that things could be so much worse.
 

Russ H

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bump-a-roo. :)

-Russ H.
 

crisbiz

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I really think that this is one of the fundamental skills for life and success.
This technique has been very useful for me. :thumbsup:


Counting in breaths - Breathing Meditation

By Amrit Sadhana



Meditation Techniques: Counting in breaths - Breathing Meditation


In a situation where you can't do active techniques of meditation, a simple but effective passive method will be useful. Breath-watching is a method that can be done anywhere, at any time, even if you have only a few minutes available.

You can simply watch the rise and fall of your chest or belly as the breath comes in and goes out, or try this version....

Step 1: Watch the In Breath Close your eyes and start watching your breath. First, the inhalation, from where it enters your nostrils, right down into your lungs.

Step 2: Watch the Gap That Follows
At the end of the inhalation there is gap, before the exhalation starts. It is of immense value. Watch that gap.

Step 3: Watch the Out Breath
Now watch the exhalation.

Step 4: Watch the Gap That Follows
At the end of the exhalation there is a second gap: watch that gap. Do these four steps for two to three times � just watching the breathing cycle, not changing it in anyway, just watching the natural rhythm.

Step 5: Counting In Breaths
Now start counting: Inhalation � count 1 (don't count the exhalation), inhalation � 2, and so on, up to 10. Then count from 10 back to 1. Sometimes you may forget to watch the breath or you may count beyond 10. Then start again, at 1.

Osho says, "These two things have to be remembered: watching, and particularly the gaps at the top and the bottom. The experience of that gap is you, your innermost core, your being. And second: go on counting, but not more than up to 10; and come back again to 1; and only count the inhalation.

These things help awareness. You have to be aware, otherwise you will start counting the exhalation, or you will go over 10."
 

dkt91

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Hi yves!

I am sorry to hear that you have problems with stress.
The way I deal with stress is sports. Everyday I go either jogging, swimming, playing soccer, riding my bicycle, etc. for at least 30 minutes.

This year I had a longer period I didn't do any sports due to an injured leg and I found myself in the situaton of reacting more agressive and not being able to think clearly.

Therefore I think investing some time in sports (if you don't do so already) could be a solution. Not only will you be able to deal with stress more easily but also your body will benefit notably from sports on a regular basis.

I hope this was helpful for you - take care!


Florian
 

djs13

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I think exercise is a great way to calm anxiety. I know that it definitely helps me. I also look at the big picture of things and that often the things that I get worked up about aren't really that big of a deal anyways.
 

hatterasguy

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I don't really get stressed about the little stuff, can't explain it. I always say that I have a Jimmy Buffett attitude to life.

If it all goes wrong, grab a drink and go sailing. :smx6:If it really goes wrong plan D-Z is to take off for the islands and become a boat bum.

What "stresses" me, (really it pisses me off more) is dealing with morons, and stupid people. The best solution for them is to simply go sailing. I find the further offshore I go, the less those people seem to matter.

Actualy I just had a great idea, I think I'll go sailing tomarrow, or fishing.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib8nH4kHjxk]YouTube - Alan Jackson;Jimmy Buffett - It's Five O' Clock Somewhere[/ame]

I can't wait for the day, when the biggest problem in my life is should I go to a cove and read for the morning, fish, swim, or sail. My good friend did it for 3 years and yes its as good as you think it is, no better.
 

audman

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This thread is great. I will be using some of this advice. I also try to take a step in the right direction no matter how bad things get. I Figure if the momentum is sliding to the bad side that new action breaks it and now maybe the momentum will shift back to the good. I love this site
 

MJ DeMarco

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Moving to Mindset forum ...
 

czach41

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I keep my cool by constantly putting things into perspective. I rarely, rarely get stressed out. Putting things into perspective makes me a very, very calm human being. Also, I like to think of all the good things going on in my life. Lately, as I lie in bed with my cold fan on, all curled up warm on my two comfortable pillows, I am thinking about how lucky I am to have this warm, comfortable bed. Many people do not have such a warm, comfortable bed to sleep in every night. Doing these little things puts me in an incredible grateful/happy state of being. Then, when I wake up, I look up at the sun rising and am happy to be able to see it, and happy to get out of my warm comfortable bed.
So as my day progresses, I am in a happy state of being. Then the sh*t hits the fan sometime during my day ( got an F on an assignment which accounted for 15% of my overall grade.) I actually laughed after receiving it, because I put it into perspective.
"OK Cody, time to step it up and ace your remaining assignments and tests."
Ended up with a solid 78% overall in the class.
I guess I am trying to say, that being grateful for the things you have truly helps with stress, as it makes you realize that whatever bad is happening in your life at that moment, really could be a lot worse. All of a sudden, its not too stressful anymore.
A few weeks ago, my $800 bike got stolen. I rode it everywhere in my college town, as it allowed me to save gas, get exercise, enjoy the beautiful day, and hit up the bike trails in the hills by me. I was livid for a few hours; however, it got me thinking. Why am I mad over a material possession, after all, it is merely a bike. I immediately started thinking about my health, and how I am lucky to have gotten through what could have been a much worse injury many years ago. I put my bike into perspective (material possession), and shifted my attention to how grateful I was for my current health.
Perspective gets me though each and every day, and hopefully, it can help you too.
 

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MJ DeMarco

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I keep my cool by constantly putting things into perspective. I rarely, rarely get stressed out. Putting things into perspective makes me a very, very calm human being. Also, I like to think of all the good things going on in my life. Lately, as I lie in bed with my cold fan on, all curled up warm on my two comfortable pillows, I am thinking about how lucky I am to have this warm, comfortable bed. Many people do not have such a warm, comfortable bed to sleep in every night. Doing these little things puts me in an incredible grateful/happy state of being. Then, when I wake up, I look up at the sun rising and am happy to be able to see it, and happy to get out of my warm comfortable bed.
So as my day progresses, I am in a happy state of being. Then the sh*t hits the fan sometime during my day ( got an F on an assignment which accounted for 15% of my overall grade.) I actually laughed after receiving it, because I put it into perspective.
"OK Cody, time to step it up and ace your remaining assignments and tests."
Ended up with a solid 78% overall in the class.
I guess I am trying to say, that being grateful for the things you have truly helps with stress, as it makes you realize that whatever bad is happening in your life at that moment, really could be a lot worse. All of a sudden, its not too stressful anymore.
A few weeks ago, my $800 bike got stolen. I rode it everywhere in my college town, as it allowed me to save gas, get exercise, enjoy the beautiful day, and hit up the bike trails in the hills by me. I was livid for a few hours; however, it got me thinking. Why am I mad over a material possession, after all, it is merely a bike. I immediately started thinking about my health, and how I am lucky to have gotten through what could have been a much worse injury many years ago. I put my bike into perspective (material possession), and shifted my attention to how grateful I was for my current health.
Perspective gets me though each and every day, and hopefully, it can help you too.


Gratefulness is a great strategy ... money and tangible possessions are replaceable.

What is more difficult is how to overcome physical challenges. I'm amazed at how some people can pick them self up after life-changing accidents/events/illness/disease.

For example, W. Mitchell .... burned almost to death in an motorcycle accident than years later, survived an airplane crash leaving him with paralysis. He now is an inspirational speaker.

I find myself dealing with these challenges on a much lessor scale - trying to become bigger than the problem. While my challenges don't seem as debilitating, the thought of being burned, never walking again, becoming blind are far more daunting.

Here is what Mitchell says "
Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do; now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I've lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left."

I think I might order his book, "
[SIZE=-1]It's not what happens to you...it's what you do about it."[/SIZE] ... looks like a great read.

~ MJ
 

fanocks2003

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Gratefulness is a great strategy ... money and tangible possessions are replaceable.

What is more difficult is how to overcome physical challenges. I'm amazed at how some people can pick them self up after life-changing accidents/events/illness/disease.

For example, W. Mitchell .... burned almost to death in an motorcycle accident than years later, survived an airplane crash leaving him with paralysis. He now is an inspirational speaker.

I find myself dealing with these challenges on a much lessor scale - trying to become bigger than the problem. While my challenges don't seem as debilitating, the thought of being burned, never walking again, becoming blind are far more daunting.

Here is what Mitchell says "
Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do; now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I've lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left."

I think I might order his book, "
[SIZE=-1]It's not what happens to you...it's what you do about it."[/SIZE] ... looks like a great read.

~ MJ
Agree, if something would happen with my body (being paralyzed for example) then that would be a big problem for me. A big problem for me to coop with. I am very depended on my body. It need to be fit and in shape. I am a little vain when it comes to my body:). I like looking in the mirror and seeing a nice looking dude there. That makes my day even if other things go done the tube entirely.

So for me being paralyzed, risking becoming fat and other such horrible things would really be a challenge. A bigger challenge than being without money. You can always make more money if you lose it all, but repairing a damaged body in this time and age is rather hard.
 

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