Are You always open about what you do?

[Gymjunkie]

I find myself being kind of quite in front of my friends and colleagues about my business goals and actions, but I'm open here and on Facebook and on my personal blog. I can share here where I know people are supportive and similar to me, but don't like to talk much about what I do publicly... I guess that makes me a coward (ouch... not a nice thing to admit issed I'm guess I'm a lil scared of reaction.. which was kind of neutral stare when I shared some things with one colleague. Not too much judgement but I could feel some "WTF?..you? Business?..mmm...". I probably should be more open in everyday life about it. But I don't want to become a boaster "I will do this and that..be this and that and you all will see ..blah blah blah..". That's just not good. I like keeping it secret and then surprising people with results (which will come later on for sure).

Anyone else went/is going through the same?

P.S. this was caused by about True and False Manliness here: http://artofmanliness.com/2009/01/04/manvotional-true-and-false-manliness/

Part of post:

Truthfulness is another element of true manliness.

Lies usually come from cowardice, because men are afraid of standing by their flag, because they shrink from opposition, or because they are conscious of something wrong which they cannot defend, and so conceal. Secret faults, secret purposes, habits of conduct of which we are ashamed, lead to falsehood, and falsehood is cowardice. And thus the sinner is almost necessarily a coward. He shrinks from the light; he hides himself in darkness. Therefore if we wish to be manly, we must not do anything of which we are ashamed. He who lives by firm principles of truth and right, who deceives no one, injures no one, who therefore has nothing to hide, he alone is manly. The bad man may be audacious, but he has no true courage. His manliness is only a pretence, an empty shell, a bold demeanor, with no real firmness behind it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Ha Ha, yea, I still tell people I am "retired" ... I should be saying "I'm writing a book". I guess that will change when the book becomes a reality and not a thing of the future.

 

[Gymjunkie]

Ha Ha, yea, I still tell people I am "retired" ... I should be saying "I'm writing a book". I guess that will change when the book becomes a reality and not a thing of the future.

Yeah?? Didn't expect that coming from you! You can say that you have built a business that let's you retire, I have nothing to show though Yet...

That's what I'm wondering whether I am just afraid or I just don't go blabber-mouthing about what is yet to be achieved..

 

[Brootal]

I completely know what you mean and understand where you are coming from.

I used to tell people my plans and say what I was trying to accomplish but most people thought I was crazy or dreaming. Even worse, that the kinds of things I was talking about were reserved for a select few and were unattainable to "normal" people.

The feedback I was getting from people who did not understand was usually just from their own fear.

That is why I love these forums so much. People here understand where I am coming from and give real feedback that is helpful in my quest for the fastlane.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DeletedUser394]

I usually don't tell people about this;

I don't think it is boasting per se. By sharing your goals and dreams with as many people as possible, most of those people will put you down or ridicule, but there might be some people who can help you, who you would never have expected.

To the people who ridicule you;

Use that as motivation to prove them wrong (even if you never see or talk to those people again), and succeed!

To the people that can help you;

Find out what they know, and get them to help you!

Just last week, I was at the doctor's and saw a guy in the lobby reading an RE book. I went up to him and asked him if he was interested in investing. I told him my goals, and he smiled, not saying anything.

I thought he was going to laugh or tell me that my goals are impossible. Instead, he turned over the book....his face was on it! He had written it :coolgleamA:.

Now I have a new contact in the local RE market...which I wouldn't have had if I had not approached and shared my goals :groove:

 

[Gymjunkie]

I usually don't tell people about this;

I don't think it is boasting per se. By sharing your goals and dreams with as many people as possible, most of those people will put you down or ridicule, but there might be some people who can help you, who you would never have expected.

To the people who ridicule you;

Use that as motivation to prove them wrong (even if you never see or talk to those people again), and succeed!

To the people that can help you;

Find out what they know, and get them to help you!

Just last week, I was at the doctor's and saw a guy in the lobby reading an RE book. I went up to him and asked him if he was interested in investing. I told him my goals, and he smiled, not saying anything.

I thought he was going to laugh or tell me that my goals are impossible. Instead, he turned over the book....his face was on it! He had written it :coolgleamA:.

Now I have a new contact in the local RE market...which I wouldn't have had if I had not approached and shared my goals :groove:

Lucky bastard!! ;D Nice story! Thanx for sharing! And I too find negative feedback motivating, still I'm might be too quiet about my goals now and maybe should share more!

Lol at picture!

 

[kurtyordy]

I typically share what I do, but once someone starts saying, "let me in on that." meaning, "spend your time doing for me what you are doing for you because I am far too lazy to learn and do it myself", then I stop sharing with those folk.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[PaulRobert]

As I have stated in some posts before, I am a pretty private person, except on this forum.
I have progressed tremendously with my product and maybe about 3 people other than my mother and attorney know what I am doing. It is not that I am afraid of criticism or someone stealing my idea, I just feel that the less someone knows about you the better. I have learned throughout my life that sometimes I just need to keep my mouth shut. These are one those situations. I know that if I say to someone what I am doing, it will spread through the school like wildfire and insults, haters, and all unnecessary comments will arise. I have dealt with these kinds of people before and I had learned tremendous lessons. Right now, everything is going too well for me to have some ****** telling me I can't do something. It's funny because when you make it, all those people that insulted you and tried to keep you down, want to be your friends.

But I don't want to become a boaster "I will do this and that..be this and that and you all will see ..blah blah blah..". That's just not good. I like keeping it secret and then surprising people with results (which will come later on for sure).

Anyone else went/is going through the same?

+1. I am not the boaster type of person. What I am doing is something that I am passionate about and enjoying every moment of it. I am not doing this to "show someone" or show off my success. I believe that your actions and respect toward people shows what kind of person you are. I rarely tell people about things I have accomplished in life, A. I don't think it is really THAT important what I have already done, and B. many times people just don't get it.

I think it's better to be underestimated and overachieve than overestimated and underachieve.

 

[DeletedUser394]

I think it's better to be underestimated and overachieve than overestimated and underachieve.

Yessir! Rep +++

Ps I think I misread the original post.

I see no point in sharing what you've done (in that case boasting), but what you plan to do, so that people may be open to help you.

 

[Kinsey6287]

I too only converse about my different venture with certain people. At my current job, people are very much in a mindset that 9-5 until your 66 is the only way to retire. So when I have told people about my ventures in the past, they look at me like I'm crazy and usually have a wise crack or two. So I no longer tell anyone about the different ventures I am working on.

I look at it this way, If some people are set on the fact that they want to work from 9-5 for the next 60 years, making decent money,... They can work for me. And I'll work less time and still make more money. Who's laughing now??

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gymjunkie]

I'm surprised... I share a personal thing which I thought will make me look like an idiot but I see more people coming in and sharing the same... it's true that what we people perceive to be very private, humiliating and only ours is UNIVERSAL... this post goes to prove it for me. I even got some reps for good post (THANK YOU!!!) even though I thought it might be other way around!

Again, I love this forum!

 

[Cat Man Du]

Just last week, I was at the doctor's and saw a guy in the lobby reading an RE book. I went up to him and asked him if he was interested in investing. I told him my goals, and he smiled, not saying anything.

I thought he was going to laugh or tell me that my goals are impossible. Instead, he turned over the book....his face was on it! He had written it :coolgleamA:.

Now I have a new contact in the local RE market...which I wouldn't have had if I had not approached and shared my goals :groove:

ACTION PAYS ! Did you buy it and have him....Sign it?....FASTLANE !!:great:

 

[EntreViews]

I don't tell everyone everything and some I tell nothing. You can just tell with some people they are not in the right mindset to except that you can and will achieve your goals.

I have certain friends (most of them in the mid 20s - 30s)that believe anything is attainable and others (mostly over 40) who can't even imagine leaving their 9 to 5 and being self-employed. I have pretty much been self-employed since I was 18 and love it. I say pick and choose who you tell what because some people will just try to bring you down to their level. They are miserable and what you to be miserable with them. Surround yourself with like-minded people who will encourage you and help you achieve your goals.

Good Luck,
RG

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Ha Ha, yea, I still tell people I am "retired" ... I should be saying "I'm writing a book". I guess that will change when the book becomes a reality and not a thing of the future.

I was thinking about this while I was at the gym ... even when I dabbled on the Internet, I never started saying "I own an internet company" until I supported myself doing it. I think I know why ... if I started saying "I'm an author" without actually having a book, its like rewarding myself of the accomplishment without actually doing it. The reward of writing a book is being able to say "I am an author". Before actually doing it, I feel would be a disservice to myself. That would be like winning the Nobel Prize before actually accomplishing anything tangible.

 

[andviv]

That would be like winning the Nobel Prize before actually accomplishing anything tangible.

:eusa_clap:

back to the original topic...

This topic reminded me of other threads...

http://www.thefastlanetomillions.co...our-friends-family-say-thatll-never-work.html

http://www.thefastlanetomillions.co...w-do-you-get-rid-negativity-wont-go-away.html (read post 17 in there)

http://www.thefastlanetomillions.com/off-topic-discussion/6010-your-friends-do-what.html (post 31, for example, but the whole thread is amazing)

5 Life Changing Ideas You Can Learn from Tiger Woods*|*theFastlaneToMillions.com (read point 3)

--and I know most won't take the time to read them... great info in there, in my opinion.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

:eusa_clap:



5 Life Changing Ideas You Can Learn from Tiger Woods*|*theFastlaneToMillions.com (read point 3)

Ha Ha -- maybe I should update that article to include "Don't text mistresses and leave voice mails"

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rem]

Andviv, thanks for those links. My wife, unfortunately, is a problem when it comes to my motivation. I used to be like her, always looking at things "realistically"... "Earnings $50,000 per year is a nice goal and is realistic. Anything above and beyond that is for other people and is unrealistic to us."

Just recently I shared with her my goals. I laid them out for her and she did the math. She told me it was an unrealistic goal. In my mind I don't think it is. She told me that I needed to rethink my goals and find some that are more realistic.

But what's funny is it actually has inspired me to prove her a$$ wrong that little wench LOL

Although I have the drive still, I was hoping she would be with me all the way saying, "I told you honey you could do it." But life ain't always about what you want now is it? :smx2:

 

[Kinsey6287]

Andviv, thanks for those links. My wife, unfortunately, is a problem when it comes to my motivation. I used to be like her, always looking at things "realistically"... "Earnings $50,000 per year is a nice goal and is realistic. Anything above and beyond that is for other people and is unrealistic to us."

Just recently I shared with her my goals. I laid them out for her and she did the math. She told me it was an unrealistic goal. In my mind I don't think it is. She told me that I needed to rethink my goals and find some that are more realistic.

But what's funny is it actually has inspired me to prove her a$$ wrong that little wench LOL

Although I have the drive still, I was hoping she would be with me all the way saying, "I told you honey you could do it." But life ain't always about what you want now is it? :smx2:

You and I are fighting the same fight my friend. And I live every day now to prove her wrong on just about everything. Kinda makes things more fun though. lol

 

[Rem]

OK I have read a lot of those other threads that Andviv provided. Very excellent advice and one of the things that stood out for me was that most agreed that you can't change other people, and you can only change yourself.

Now I think there are no guarantees you can change other people although it is a possibility. I would never rely on it nor would I waste my time trying to change someone. It's like banging your head against the wall. But I do believe that you can seriously influence others. This can be done not so much by what you preach to them but by being a good example. If you can push past the B.S. even if you are completely submerged in it and rise above it and live positively and just block out the negative parts, it can really rub off on other people.

Just as negative energy rubs off on others so does positive energy. Walk into a room of downers and you will be pulled in a certain direction. You walk into a room with happy and upbeat individuals and you will feel that energy.

I think it takes training and some determination and a strong leader but if you can walk into a group of negative minded people and rise above it and continue in a positive light and be persistent and live that way you can really inspire people.

Heck I know it's true because I know people who have inspired me. It's about learning how to transmit the energy. Some people will refuse to receive it but others will eat it up.

Although it is unfortunate my wife puts limitations on me, it is probably what I need to push a little harder. I know I can't change her, but if I succeed then she has to accept it, and I may inspire others along the way. Heck it's my life, I should be able to control it. I don't put limitations on other people. So why would they on me? Is it a control thing? More than likely.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[andviv]

...
My wife, unfortunately, is a problem when it comes to my motivation. I used to be like her, always looking at things "realistically"... "Earnings $50,000 per year is a nice goal and is realistic. Anything above and beyond that is for other people and is unrealistic to us."

Just recently I shared with her my goals. I laid them out for her and she did the math. She told me it was an unrealistic goal. In my mind I don't think it is. She told me that I needed to rethink my goals and find some that are more realistic.
...
:smx2:

we discussed this already... maybe this thread will provide more info.
http://www.thefastlanetomillions.co...et-your-spouse-same-mindset-getting-rich.html

 

[Runum]

Or declaring "Mission Accomplished" before the mission has been accomplished...

I don't appreciate this comment Jason. I understand the secondary meaning and it's a cheap shot on a forum that doesn't allow political discussion.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I don't appreciate this comment Jason. I understand the secondary meaning and it's a cheap shot on a forum that doesn't allow political discussion.

Blame me, I started it!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Runum]

Blame me, I started it!

To be honest I didn't read your initial comment MJ and you are correct, you did start it. Sorry Jason. MJ are we gonna open the politics up? I can't ban you, you are already banned.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

To be honest I didn't read your initial comment MJ and you are correct, you did start it. Sorry Jason. MJ are we gonna open the politics up? I can't ban you, you are already banned.

Nah, I think both statements hold some truth, thereby, keeping things non-partisan. :smxB:

 

[Russ H]

Jeez, kidz play nice, OK? illowfight:

-Russ H.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Jill]

As others have said, I think it's perfectly natural to NOT want to share your aspirations publicly. After all, if you aspire publicly, then you risk failing publicly. I usually hedge a bit too, and casually mention, "I do some software consulting (real job) and am testing out some Internet Marketing ideas right now." If they take the bait and ask what kind of ideas, then I still just drip out the info in bits and pieces, as they ask.

I learned many years ago when I was in an MLM, that people generally don't like being pounced on. :smug2: MJ, wasn't it you who used the analogy of the cat in the yard?

And while it may sound insecure or even pessimistic to admit, I usually say, "I don't know what - if anything - is going to work, but I'm committed to a lifetime of learning and trying new things and I'm having fun!" What can they say? Fact is, I still don't know what IS going to work. I'm still in the "throw a bunch of mud against the wall and see what sticks" stage.

I think someone else already mentioned it. But in the world of implementation consulting, I've learned it far better to under-promise and over-deliver, than the other way around.

 

[Operation_OPM]

I learned this from a great friend of mine.

I always talk from a fanatical hobbyist standpoint and highlight the intricacies of the craft and process(art,music,film,comic books,publishing,architecture, stocks, real estate ect.)...if they say "Wow you're very knowledgeable in "?", you should start a business"....then I let them in on what I do.

The guy who let me in, would always be at the local comic book shop talking up a storm about DJIA, moody's ,bankrate.com, hoovers, RIA's, HOA fees/laws...initially he said he was a teacher back in NJ....after a couple months of this I told him "You should start..".....not only did he turn out to own the comic shop...he owned the strip plaza it was located in and the companies that developed the sub division behind it....its a well known sub division that takes up a ....................:hl:GREAT :roi:chunk of NorthWest Tampa....he never boasted, he was just extremely knowledgeable and zestful about his "hobby".

 

[EastWind]

Yes, and No.

I am open about what I do by DOING, so I DO and SHOW

I'm not so open by talking, I hate talking about it. I wonder if I should do more of it tho. Sometimes, I think I don't talk about it, because I'm afraid of perhaps failing and then everyone knowing that I failed.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[andviv]

The perspective I have is, serendipity seems to work... talk to people about what you are doing or want to do, that increases the chances of finding out about what others do (reciprocity) and also you don't know who may have info or resources that can help you reach your goals.

 

[hatterasguy]

I'm a builder, and proud of it. When people ask me what I do I tell them I'm a builder.


Even though I just started, who cares fake it to you make it. I want them to think I'm bigger than I am and bring me deals.


I'm a very private person, but I'm anything but shy.