A Rant: "Friend" Issues...My lack of judgement

[DeletedUser394]

I'm so so so so so pissed off right now. I entrust a task to a friend, and he doesn't deliver, yet again. Can I say that I'm surprised? No. Why? Because this has happened before. So really, I'm ticked off about my own judgement making right now.

Here's a background;

Approx. 1 year ago I gave my friend my brand new, prized possession Ipod Touch, that I had bought for myself. (this was before it even hit the airwaves). I gave it to him, because he told me that he could download my favorite songs onto it for me, (I didn't and still don't have internet at home). So I thought he was being nice and I lent it to him. I gave him one day to download the songs and said that I would pay him.

The following day, I saw him walking by in one of the wings of our school, and I noticed that he was deliberately avoiding making eye contact as he passed. I stopped him and asked for my Ipod. He then gave me some BS about how he had to let the player recharge after downloading some video and so he left it at home. This was on Wednesday. The next day, to my surprise, he didn't show up to school! Friday? The same thing. One of my GOOD friends took it upon himself to get it back from the other friend. I got it back. And guess what? Not one song was downloaded!!! (Wow I'm getting more aggravated as I write this...but being ticked off is good...I'll learn my lesson).

Back to present. A while back this same "friend" asked me how he could make some money doing something for me. I thought about it, and realized that I needed to transfer some money online using paypal. The problem? I didn't have an account. The solution? He did. So I gave him 55$...40$ to transfer, and 15$ for himself. Total effort on his part? Close to zero required. But guess what, I was BS'ed again. You see, I gave him this money on Tuesday. The following day? He didn't do it...Said he forgot. I then promised him an extra 30$ if he would do it on thursday...the result...he forgot. If he would do it on friday, I promised him 15$ as the extra....Result come friday morning in class "I forgot". Then as he turned his head to talk to his friends I distinctly heard him say "You'll never see the money again." What a nice scumbag eh?

This is just one of the many many many unreliable, untrustworthy things that I've dealt with for the past few years of highschool. Thankfully, I'm graduating this year and will never have to see these people again...(except during reunions when we'll get to compare my lambos to their hondas :eusa_clap:groove:

A few other examples;

I invite friends over to play some sng poker....70$ is stolen from my house
I bring collector cards to school to sell to a friend... they're stolen from my locker along with more money.

I'm wondering what I should do with those people (they could fill a novel there's so many of them {Immature, unethical, no etiquette, no aspirations, negative}. you name it, and I've probably got a friend that embodies it.

Should I ignore them for the next 200 days?

I think that's the answer ain't it.:cuss:

And what should I do about my "friend" with my money?

Thanks, it helps to rant.

 

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[Runum]

Sorry to hear about this RK. These are tough life lessons. You have to figure out a way to ensure that people will do what you pay them for. If they get you the first time you can't trust them again unless they earn it. Don't let it eat you up too much, we all have been burned before.

 

[jaytrader43]

Cut these people off...they are like speed bumps on the road to riches...and at the reunions, make sure your lambo is really shiny so you can "stunt on dem hoes"

 

[PEERless]

RichKid, you need to take responsibility for some of these things that "happened" to you. These jerks are taking advantage of you and exploiting weaknesses. The solution? Seal the chinks in your armor. Don't bring valuables to school. Don't talk about them. And don't entrust them to anyone.

Everyone has these urges to show off their new iPods or their new Lambos, but all this does is puts temptation in front of everyone.

Sorry if this sounds tough, but don't play the victim. People will make you the victim, if you let them.

 

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[Charmed Angel]

Why are you still calling this kid your "friend"?!
I don't remember who said it...
This guy [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Mind-Thomas-J-Stanley/dp/0740703579]Amazon.com: The Millionaire Mind: Thomas J. Stanley: Books[/ame]

or

This guy [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Think-Grow-Rich-Napoleon-Hill/dp/0449214923]Amazon.com: Think and Grow Rich: Napoleon Hill: Books[/ame]


"You are your 5 closest Friends"

I agree with the others. Learn your lessons and move on. You need to stop making yourself vulnerable. Who cares what these people think of you, you'll never see them again after 200 days. Be the bigger person and don't get mixed up in all the High school drama.

Sorry to hear that these things happened to you but it's good to learn from this. Trust is something that is built and shouldn't be handed to some one.

 

[I85]

RichKid, you need to take responsibility for some of these things that "happened" to you.

Why are you still calling this kid your "friend"?!

x2 and x2
Obviously he is not your friend. You should have realized that when he wouldn't give you back the ipod. Instead you go and give him some cash? You do realize how foolish that was, don't you?
As for the $55, imo, most real friends wouldn't even accept the $15. $15 to do a paypal transfer? :smx6:
Then after he jacks your $55, you offer to give him another $45? I hope that you weren't really going to give him any more.

"I'm wondering what I should do with those people (they could fill a novel there's so many of them {Immature, unethical, no etiquette, no aspirations, negative}. you name it, and I've probably got a friend that embodies it."
People that rip you off? You tell them to F off and do not associate with them...

"And what should I do about my "friend" with my money?"
Friend? Cmon now. You forget about it, chalk it up as a loss, hopefully end up learning the lesson that should have been learned, and move on.

I highly suggest you work on reading people much more for the rest of high school. It will be the best time to try and figure how to read other people. Sounds like you may have some trouble realizing who your real friends are. It's not an easy thing to do and we all still makes mistakes, but your 2nd mistake could have and SHOULD have been avoided.

 

[DeletedUser394]

I feel like an idiot and I guess I was. Emphasis on was

 

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[biophase]

These are cheap lessons and its good for you to learn them in high school. In 10 years losing $50 won't matter too much. You don't want to lose $50,000 when your 26!

 

[DeletedUser394]

These are cheap lessons and its good for you to learn them in high school. In 10 years losing $50 won't matter too much. You don't want to lose $50,000 when your 26!

It's not so much about the money... we could make more any day:smxF:, it's the fact that I trusted him once and he screwed me over, and then I was stupid enough to repeat the first time, deja vu.:smx6:

 

[hatterasguy]

You need better friends.

Why would a friend charge you for a simple pay pal transfer? I have driven all the way to the other side of the freaken state to help my buddies out. They have done similer for me.

 

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[Runum]

You need better friends.

Why would a friend charge you for a simple pay pal transfer? I have driven all the way to the other side of the freaken state to help my buddies out. They have done similer for me.

That's the truth.

 

[hatterasguy]

IMHO a true test of friendship is when things go south who is their to help you out. When your flying high friendship seems to come cheap, but they don't hang around. My good childhood friend who I consider a brother was just diagnosed with a rare type of bone based cancer. I don't know the exact name so don't ask, I don't really understand medical stuff all that well.

I'll probably skip work Monday after lunch to go to the hospital to see how he is doing.

You are who you associate with, remember that.

 

[yveskleinsky]

There is a saying out there that goes,"screw me over once, shame on you; screw me over twice, shame on me."

Part of being successful, or at least in having a drama-free life is learning how to "read" the different types of people out there. Lasting success is comprised of many components, good judgment is a major one of them. You knew the guy was scum and yet you kept going back to him for help and entrusting him with money, so that's all on you.

Oh, and forget worrying about your money--it's gone; $55 will come and go in your life. The bigger question is to ask yourself why you: 1. Have this loser fall into the category of a friend and 2. Why you continued to trust him. This lesson is worth a heck of a lot more than $55, so you are fortunate to learn the lesson now.

...And seriously sit down and redefine the definition of a good friend.

 

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[CMCarlin]

It's not so much about the money... we could make more any day:smxF:, it's the fact that I trusted him once and he screwed me over, and then I was stupid enough to repeat the first time, deja vu.:smx6:

Exactly! At this point it isn't the money, because it's insignificant in your life's plans. What Bio-phase was trying to point out is that now you have the BENEFIT from learning from this mistake so that the cost will never be significant to your life's plans in the future.



And yea, we all get burned like that in our lives. It's what teaches us how fellow human beings can be.

 

[PEERless]

screw me over once, shame on you; screw me over twice, shame on me.

Isn't it "fool me..."? LOL. I love your adaptation of the language for 2008.

 

[biophase]

Isn't it "fool me..."? LOL. I love your adaptation of the language for 2008.

No it's, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me you can't get fooled again. LOL

 

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[YoungOne]

I wouldnt at all consider him a "friend". A real friend would chage you to transfer funds, thats what PayPal is for, lol. After not putting the songs on the iPod, a real friend would give back the money. Or not even charger you for it all. I dont quite remember the quote, but it goes something like this:

"If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. "

Dont let his actions bother you for too long. Consider it only a speed bump in your journey.
Best of luck!

 

[australianinvestor]

Ok, I've been nailed to the floor for two weeks with the flu and since I'm sick, I might not make sense.

It sounds like people do this to you because they know they can get away with it. Has it been common outside these examples? From your "novel" comment, it sounds like it. You sound like an easy target for scumbags, and as contrary as it sounds to common western morality (peddled by TV and movies), I would want revenge in your shoes (and Donald Trump agrees with me).

I would nail the bastard publicly so hard that everybody sees what happens when they screw with you. By "nail", I mean a multitude of things, but don't think I necessarily mean violence. If people know he effectively stole from you and you didn't let him get away with it, they'll try someone else who's easier to screw. Be confident, assertive, and don't let people walk over you.

For those who think revenge is morally or ethically wrong, I'd suggest some investigation of the multitude of ethical frameworks available. Remember that the Anglo-Western-Christian system of morals isn't the only show in town That's just what we've been taught on TV for decades, even here in Australia. Google "McEwan's framework" (if I remember correctly) and enjoy reading about teleology, deontology, libertarianism, individualism, social contract theory, etc. It's not necessarily about ethics of different cultures, these ethical frameworks are part of our western cultures, but are almost always forgotten in favor of TV crap.

 

[KyJoe]

This is really his loss, not yours. This piece of crap is pretty much doomed to live his life with no real friendships. Real friendship is built upon trust over time, which this guy is lacking. Consider yourself lucky. (As a side note, I pretty much hated high school. I had some good friends, but the shear number of knuckle heads was a little more than I would prefer. I thought college would be the same, but it was not. I loved college - not the study part - the playing part!!)

 

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[White8]

Kick that 'friend' to the curb. He's of no value to you. Regarding the money, there are a couple of ways you can deal with it. You can either chalk it up as a lesson learned or you can turn it to your advantage and show your classmates that you're a ball buster when people take advantage of you. Talk to your school liaison officer. Technically, your 'friend' stole the money from you and I don't imagine he would enjoy be escorted through the hall by the cops.


One of the personal rules I live by is I don't loan anything. I give but I never loan and the flip side is I never ask to borrow things, I buy or rent what I need. (not including financial loans of course)

 

[kimberland]

There are over 6 billion people on the planet,
don't waste your time on people you can't trust.

And learn how to figure out whom you CAN trust.
Try to do that with a minimal investment.

Me?
I test people again and again.
I do them a favor
and then ask them for something of equal or lessor value back,
gradually building up
(over years)
until, well, I'd trust them with my life.

Very few people have made it to that level
(I married one of them - took him 5 years)
but then, I don't really need that many people at that level.
LOL

Oh, and I never ask anyone
for something I wouldn't do in return.
That's the way it works.