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Introduction 22yrs, never been so depressed, want to change things.

Discussion in 'Forum Introductions (Who are you!?)' started by climbtothelight, Apr 19, 2017.

  1. Ika
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    Ika Too slow FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Even if he does not return, this thread will help others.

    You are talking to those that are searching for the topic, those that don't want to openly post about their deep problems, those that did not realise they face this problem.

    You guys helped all of them.
     
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  2. pickeringmt
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    pickeringmt Gold Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    One other thing man:

    If you didn't feel like this, you'd never do anything to change your life.

    This feeling will proceed improvement in any area. Have some compassion for yourself and understand that nobody is going to start where they want to end up, so just figure out where you would rather be, draw a line, and start walking.
     
  3. climbtothelight
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    climbtothelight New Contributor

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    My brother's death?
    Emotionally abusive parents (who I still live with because of an unhealthily codependent relationship)?


    Oh, travelling has always been a huge lifeblood for my family. I actually grew up between the UK and the States (I have dual citizenship but I've lived fulltime in the US since I was 11, I'd love to be able to live across the pond). I spent most of last year WWOOFing in Australia and New Zealand, is that what you were talking about? I don't have the funds to do that again for the time being, I'd love to though.
    The weird thing was, even though each day was filled with uncertainty, I was the happiest I'd been in years. It was a dream that was short but was happy.
     
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  4. climbtothelight
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    climbtothelight New Contributor

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    Rest assured, I'm baaaaack. I've had family in town.
     
  5. climbtothelight
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    climbtothelight New Contributor

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    Believe me I know it is (and it's sort of been my lifelong MO), I have no idea of any other way to be.
     
  6. climbtothelight
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    climbtothelight New Contributor

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    I tried medication, I hated the way it made me feel. It felt like I was cheating, I felt like I was dependent on something, I generally felt better in terms of mood but I felt worse about myself
     
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  7. Mattie
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    That's my purpose and how I dance on this earth! I surf on the surface and dive deep in the ocean and bring up everyone to the surface. I'm the life guard and the light house flashing on the pier!

    If you have no life guard and light house, people drown, the undertow pulls you under, the waves get 25 ft high. The boats get lost in the dark! I suppose that's what I get for being brought up on the shores of Lake Michigan! We are Coast Guard City U.S.A. I can't help myself.

    Entrepreneurs and the whole of humanity are swimming, diving, driving ships, yachts, race boats, row boats, floating on rafts and inner tubes. I really don't care who you are! I'm the light in your darkness as Generation X! You all need to navigate in the waters no matter your destination! What social class, What culture, what age, what generation, feminine or masculine.

    I was blessed to be born in Grand Haven, Michigan surrounded by awesome Entrepreneurs, wealth, middle class, and poor! We know how to do it right! We help everyone in our community! We're a nice community! I've watched our town grow the last 46 years. Perfect Example of hard work, a community, everyone coming together and a process over time!
    Congratulations to my home town of Grand Haven in 2017! I salute all the awesome Entrepreneurs over the years from every generation who made it happen! Glad to be raised in an awesome environment.

    Never forget where you come from!


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geXs1gTMj_w


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi3XsGDEQYU


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZZJOCKDLWY


    They're are many awesome Entrepreneurs in Michigan in many towns.

    If there is any Entrepreneurs from Michigan here in the Forum! I thank you for all contributing to my state and making it Pure Michigan what it is today!
     
  8. 458
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    458 Gold Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    minivanman Contributor Speedway Pass

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    OP,
    Today, Friday, what steps did you take to 'change' things? What are your plans for tomorrow (Saturday)?
     
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  10. JAJT
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    JAJT Ha Ha! Business LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    While difficult, we all lose people.

    Try to think about how your brother would want you to live - would he want you to live a life of holding back on his account?

    I grew up in a caustic home. I was highly sheltered and wasn't allowed to do much of anything. I was yelled at constantly for things that didn't even make sense. Anger and high tempers were the baseline for me.

    If you are anything like I was, it means you are living in a state of arrested development. You feel you have no prospects, no plans, no reason to live because you are being held down in chains by your situation. Of course you feel like shit if every day you come home to abuse.

    Here's what you need to do: Move out.

    I mean it. I genuinely mean it.

    Don't spend 1 damn second thinking about how it will make your parents feel or what they'll do. Don't worry about being disowned or getting yelled at or pissing them off or disappointing them or any of that.

    You are 22 years old. You can make your own choices. If they can't live with it then that's THEIR problem to deal with. Not yours.

    Does your dead end job make enough to pay the bills? If not you better start hustling ass to find one that does. Forget copy-writing and entrepreneurship for now. I don't normally say that but you need some damn wins in your life and moving out and getting stable before being risky is a huge damn win.

    If your resume sucks (it almost certainly does), check out this thread: Notable! - Is it worth it to pay for someone to redo my resume?

    You need to start doing NEW THINGS with your life. You are too old to be caught up living the life of a child. I bet a huge amount of depression and stress comes from your current situation. Change your situation.
     
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  11. JWelch
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    JWelch Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    It's nice in the summer and the beach is great but the winters! Ooooooohhh the winters!!!!
     
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  12. JWelch
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    JWelch Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Make a conscious effort every day to eat good quality food. Eating a very clean natural diet can clear up your thinking, give you energy and a sense of well being. Eat well and exercise. These two simple things can change your whole life. Any frustration, depression etc. can be exercised out of you and one day you will realize you're "different".
    From that point you can reassess and re-focus on where you want to go. Then take the steering wheel of your life and choose to take action that is going to propel you to where you want to be. Trust me dude, the older you get the more you'll see that 22 years old is the BEGINNING it isn't the END. Start now!
     
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  13. Contrarian
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    Contrarian Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I hesitated to comment on this because it's such a personal matter, and I'm not sure I'm qualified to help beyond sharing meaningless platitudes.

    So what I will do is share my experience, and see if I can apply it to your situation.

    I had a miserable childhood. Truly miserable. Stuff I don't even want to go into here. Suffice to say, pretty much everything bad you could imagine happened to me. From poverty to bullying to abuse to disability to severe social phobia to bereavement - you name it, I had it. My two saving graces were being born with a sharp mind and having a loving mother.

    Everything I did to dig myself out of that hole was about putting myself way, way outside of my comfort zone, failing lots of times and eventually achieving competence, then confidence. You're scared, terrified sometimes, to do it - but you have to just do it anyway. Noone who knows me today would even begin to recognise 15 year old me. When I (occasionally) look back at that time, I don't see me - I see somebody else whose life I'm remembering. It's strange.

    As an adult, I've mostly been happy. Sometimes exceptionally so, and sometimes in a funk. When I looked back at my life a while ago, to try to figure out why lasting happiness could be so elusive, I realised I was at my happiest when:

    I was in control of my life.
    I was working hard on pursuits that were personally important to me.
    I felt good about myself.
    I was making progress towards my vision for my life.
    I was surrounded by people I cared about.
    I was living up to my own standards.

    I don't always live up to my own standards. I always pay for it in reduced happiness - maybe not immediately, but certainly down the line.

    So what does this mean for you, right now?

    Based on what you've said, I'm going to assume:

    You don't feel in control of your life.
    You don't know what's personally important to you, so you have nothing to work towards.
    You don't feel good about yourself.
    You don't have a vision for your life yet.
    You're surrounded by people who are bad for you.
    You're not living up to your own standards - but you don't know how to define those, either.

    If I were in your shoes, I concur with @JAJT - your first step is to get out of a toxic situation. Get away from it all. Give yourself the opportunity to reinvent yourself.

    Take control of your life.

    Free yourself of bad memories, bad influences, an identity you maybe didn't choose for yourself, and other people's expectations. Go out into the wild. It might be terrifying. Do it anyway. It's a liberating experience to be fully in control of your own environment, your own social circle, your own circumstances. To have full responsibility for your own life.

    Then, and only then, will you be able to figure out what you truly want from life. You have to have a vision before you can know the path. But you can't formulate your vision while you're stuck in this place.

    It might take years for you to become happy. It did for me. But I don't regret a day of it, nor do I regret any of the bad things that happened to me. They made me who I am today.

    You won't regret it either. You only have one life. The sooner you start the sooner it'll be worth living.
     
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  14. MidwestLandlord
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    MidwestLandlord Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    @Contrarian will have all my reps by the end of the day at this rate haha

    Good stuff!
     
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Yes, I hear you! I've been in the Netherlands for four years. Weird not having any weather like back home. Never thought I'd say it, but miss the water, and the snow. :)
     
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    rsj Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane

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    this should be featured, this is awesome
     
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  17. Roli
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    Roli Bronze Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Tough love coming in 3...2...

    Your problem is you are lazy, you are the product of the "get a medal for showing up" society, you browse through a book that you identify as potentially useful. You realise there is a forum attached to it, so instead of just reading it, you come on here, whine and expect everyone to give you a step-by-step answer, and then do it all for you.

    Read the book, and start executing.

    I would also suggest Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck.

    These two books are more than enough to get you started; they won't magically do it for you, however they should give you the inspiration to get off your lazy ass and start doing it for yourself.

    Tough love session over.

    Good luck dude.
     
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  18. Mattie
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Thank you. Appreciate it!
     
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  19. arfadugus
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    arfadugus Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Read the book. But don't get too caught up in reading a bunch of books though or you'll stay stuck getting nothing done.

    Jocko Willink is a Retired Navy Seal Commander and he has a thing or two to say about depression. He talks about "getting after it" even when you feel like shit. Depressed? Get after it anyways. Feeling tired? Get after it. His podcast "Jocko Podcast" is well worth listening to. He also talks about people who have been in the worst situations possible. It gives you perspective and makes you grateful that you aren't being tortured or some other crazy war stuffs.

    Also, I recommend you start jiu-jitsu. You will get defeated over and over and over again. This will break down your ego. You will learn self defense and get comfortable with confrontation. You will gain confidence and be humbled. You will form a bond with a group of people which is something we all need. Your depression could go away just from doing jiu-jitsu.

    Cut out caffeine, alchohol, drugs, etc. These things could be MAKING you depressed. I wont go into the science but I used to be depressed and had no drive or motivation. I cleared out caffeine, drugs, and alcohol and now I feel like a million bucks. Also eat plenty of fruit and veggies.

    As for copywriting. I highly suggest you check out Lex's 15 days to freedom thread. If you haven't already. Also I've found it helpful to join a copywriting group. Find people you know are skilled and can give you feedback on your portfolio, proposals, work, etc. If you are not confident in your skills. Just know that all you need to have read is Ca$shvertising and that's enough to get you started on making some money on upwork.
     
  20. arfadugus
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    arfadugus Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Well you gave it to him pretty easy if you asked me. I got my ass kicked on this forum (mentally) and, after getting extremely butthurt, I was greatful for it.
     
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  21. MrSterlock
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    First - you need to take a deep breath. Even people who are doing very well and making tons of money have all sorts of issues that they have to deal with. You probably realize this, but my point is that your mentality is the issue. If you desire to escape your current predicament you are always going to feel that way no matter what. You will be moving from one "problem" to another and always trying to figure out how to make them go away.

    A problem is really just a way that the universe brings us to life. Problems are stepping stones to higher echelons of existence. These higher levels of existence are literally paved with "problems." There is no way to even navigate the world without them. Problem solving is the fundamental basis of order and thus evolution. It is a problem that weeds out an unfit organism from the gene pool and thus slowly brings the species to higher levels of harmony within nature.

    This same concept can be applied within the microcosm of your own life. By meeting your obstacles with vigor you can weed out the weakness inside of you. It is in the nature of man to revel in the experience of progress. Only once you adjust your perspective and see these problems for what they are - opportunity - will you begin a journey that is imbued with a feeling of purpose.

    At the same time take a deep breath because there is no rush. As Alan Watt's would put it (and I am paraphrasing here) - would you judge a blade of grass for growing shorter than a tree? No, because these things grow according to their nature. So do you. In life your problems are going to be your sun, water, and soil. Don't try to avoid them, but at the same time you don't have to force it. Life and everything will continue with or without your conscious devotion.
     
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