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INTRO 22yrs, never been so depressed, want to change things.

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climbtothelight

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Hi all.

My 22nd birthday is in a few days, and I've never been so depressed. I've done nothing with my life, I've got no prospects I can see and I'm hurtling along a road to nowhere.

I have a totally dead-end job and I can't find another one (trying to do copywriting to make some extra money to get to a better environment, nobody's taken my work yet), intractable depression and anxiety (you name the treatment, I have tried it), I'm terrible at saving money because nothing seems worth saving for.

I know it is possible for some people to have a Fastlane career and an extraordinary life, but I see no indication that it is for me. I simply don't seem to have the kind of brain for inventing or anything like that. I've never been the ideating type.

By the way, before you ask, I haven't bought the TMF book yet (looked through it at the bookstore).

Sorry for the ranting. I'm just at a point that, while I'm not suicidal, I am at a point that I just don't see any reason to continue. I'm desperate for a goal that's worth staying alive for.

Anyways. Nice to meet you.

Edit: Sorry I've been away, my granddad's been in town. I'll get on replying.
 

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Argue

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Hi, welcome to the forum.

Step 1. Buy the book.

Step 2. Stop playing the victim role.

Step 3. You have something called learned helplessness.

I'm not trying to be mean, it's just that your mentality and outlook is negative.
 

Duane

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If you don't have a why, a reason to push forward, then this is where you'll be.. Wondering what's the point of it all and you'll have no drive to learn a skill. You gotta do some soul searching and find something that's worth striving for. This isn't something a forum or anyone else can answer for you, gotta dig deep and figure that out yourself.

If you find that why, your mentality on things change. You will have a reason to push through your doubt and fears and start accomplishing what it's you want to accomplish.
 

JamesC

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You need to reflect on a moment in your life when you were truly happy and build on that. Maybe you climbed a mountain or went on a camping trip. Find the basics in life that make you happy and become more involved in those. When you wake up and think about that activity you will know you have the right one. After that think about your own personal development, build your confidence and try different things and before you know it you will find something new to enjoy. Next step is to find something your passionate about and think about how this could become a business.

Hope that helps! Message anytime if you want someone to chat with.
 

AvocadoMan

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Hi all.

My 22nd birthday is in a few days, and I've never been so depressed. I've done nothing with my life, I've got no prospects I can see and I'm hurtling along a road to nowhere.

I have a totally dead-end job and I can't find another one (trying to do copywriting to make some extra money to get to a better environment, nobody's taken my work yet), intractable depression and anxiety (you name the treatment, I have tried it), I'm terrible at saving money because nothing seems worth saving for.

I know it is possible for some people to have a Fastlane career and an extraordinary life, but I see no indication that it is for me. I simply don't seem to have the kind of brain for inventing or anything like that. I've never been the ideating type.

By the way, before you ask, I haven't bought the TMF book yet (looked through it at the bookstore).

Sorry for the ranting. I'm just at a point that, while I'm not suicidal, I am at a point that I just don't see any reason to continue. I'm desperate for a goal that's worth staying alive for.

Anyways. Nice to meet you.
Read New World Ronin by Victor Pride and The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt :)
 
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SquatchMan

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Don't think in terms of "wanting" anything in your life. Ever. That is focusing on an event to get there, which is not how things work.

Think in terms of becoming a certain way. This focuses on a process of getting there.

It's a much healthier mentality. Here's an example:

22 years. Never been so depressed. I will change things this year by doing x, y, and z.

There are two caveats:

1. You have to figure out x, y, and z.
1a. x, y, and z can be anything that makes you happy. We on this forum focus on adding value to the life of others, which tends to lead to a happy and fulfilling life.
2. Just thinking this way won't change anything.

You must take action.

The process listed above combined with massive action is how I pulled myself out of a slump similar to yours. And don't worry about not having done anything...

You just turned 22 years old.

The Roman Empire was not built in one day...
nor was Facebook,
nor Amazon,
nor Google,
nor Standard Oil.

It took years upon years of constant action taking to create entities like that. And assuming you stay in good health you still have a large amount of time to build something great. Even the great Colonel Sanders didn't start franchising KFC until he was 61 years old.

Set your sights on a result, in this case making yourself happy, and take massive action to get there. When things go wrong, and they will go wrong, remember to keep your sights on the result you want and keep taking action (noticing a trend here?).

Welcome to the forum.
 
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Fortune5ive

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Dude...you're 22. Relax. There's more life ahead of you then behind you. Travel..:if you can. Get a better view of the world. You'll get a better perspective on life in general. Or join a program abroad where you exchange a service for housing/stipend. Return when you're ready and hit the ground running. You'll be light years ahead of your contemporaries.
 

daru

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Check out James Altucher blog/podcast. He has been where you are a couple of times if I'm not mistaken. He also has some tips on howto become an idea guy (yes you can train your mind to come up with ideas).
 

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minivanman

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I remember my first business was because I was 29, it was March and my birthday is in September. I told myself that if I didn't start my own business by the time I was 30 I was going to leave my girlfriend at the time, go to California and be a beach bum. Yes, looking back, not a great thought process. Anyway, I woke up one morning, went to Sears and bought a mower and a weedeater. I had my girlfriend at the time print up some flyers at the hospital where she worked.... printers weren't as easy to come by as they are today and money was non-existant on that day. Once I got my first mowing job I set a goal.... I need to earn enough money to go dirt track racing every Saturday night. Yeah, that was my goal. lmao So I hit my first goal. And then I added things that I wanted to do with the money I was earning. Stupid things.... not what I should have been buying but plain JUNK. But the thing I learned was business.... man I learned so many things with that little lawn service. Now 22 years later, I can go racing when ever I want (usually 2 times a week) and if we really wanted to, we could buy the damn track. Actually we probably spend more money on the race car than if we owned the track. And although there is millions to make in the lawn business, I only stayed in that business about 2 1/2 years. So set your goals small so you can accomplish them. What I might think is silly might really mean something to you. So now think of something you can do to earn that much money each week. And by the way, if you have no money, get a part time job to earn enough to eat. Now spend most of your time on your new business. Oh yeah.... you need to do this by next Monday. Get your sh!t together and get something done.... NOW! Remember..... the more people you have working for you, the more money you make (assuming things are done correctly). No money? No excuse.... get it done.
 

pickeringmt

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My personal suggestion is to get in to see a counselor - I'd say even more so than going to a doctor.

There are elements of this that you cant see yourself because you are living in the storm itself. Trust me, go see 2 or 3 counselors and pick the one you connect with the best and then just go in there and totally open up.

It will change your life.

A pill will only help with the symptoms, it will never help you process the things you are actually struggling with.
 

Millenial_Kid5K1

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I was the same as you at 22. Had just dropped out of college, was working fast food, living with parents, spending my little disposable income on a computer and video games.

Fast forward 6 years, I'm a chemical engineer, own rental property, and am starting an e-commerce business. I read TMF a couple of months ago, and it changed my perspective on money and my goals in life. I wish I'd have read it at your age, I'd be much closer to total financial freedom than I am now, but it's also never too late.
 

The-J

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The Fastlane isn't gonna make you better.

Just putting that out there.

The wealthy succumb to the same mental illnesses as the poor.

But if you're depressed because you're searching for a purpose...

...maybe the pursuit of the fulfillment of that purpose will make life seem worthwhile.
 

MidwestLandlord

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Sorry for the ranting. I'm just at a point that, while I'm not suicidal, I am at a point that I just don't see any reason to continue. I'm desperate for a goal that's worth staying alive for.
That's the funny (?) thing about depression. When you're in it, you can't see a way out. When you're not in it and look back on when you were, you can see multiple ways out. It's strange, crazy-making, and terrifying all at once. Trust me, I know. I get it.

Did you know depression is firmly linked to habits?

Read this: Understanding Depression
How depression works - the cycle of depression

Most people will tell you things like:

"I was depressed once! Now I'm good!"
"Just take action!"
"Find a reason!"

Yeah, yeah...ok.

The real first step is to temporarily interrupt the depression cycle in your brain:

Step #1: Understanding depression so you know what you're up against. Read the links above. Buy their course if you can afford it (if not, no worries, just read the free stuff)

Step #2: Finding someone that will tell you EXACTLY what to do, so you don't have to think. All you have to do is follow their instructions, and that's it.

Follow those 2 steps and it should slow the downward cycle of negativity in your mind and give you some relief (just a little relief, but enough to get some small amount of energy back)

Step #3: THEN you take small consistent action to change the HABITS of depression.

Step #4: AFTER THAT you can take action that improves the situation that caused it in the first place.

Most people try to skip steps #1 & #2, and jump straight to fixing the causes, which when you're depressed is an exercise in futility.

The goal right now should be to find some relief, so that you can take back control of your mind, and tell it to SHUT THE F*ck UP.

These people: Home are great at finding someone locally that can help.

Look for someone with cognitive behavioral therapy experience.
 

rsj

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Hi, welcome to the forum.

Step 1. Buy the book.

Step 2. Stop playing the victim role.

Step 3. You have something called learned helplessness.

I'm not trying to be mean, it's just that your mentality and outlook is negative.
dude i've been searching for a word to describe people who have learned helplessness and i never thought there was a condition for it, this is gonna help me help people a lot, thanks!
 

Mattie

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I have a totally dead-end job and I can't find another one (trying to do copywriting to make some extra money to get to a better environment, nobody's taken my work yet), intractable depression and anxiety (you name the treatment, I have tried it), I'm terrible at saving money because nothing seems worth saving for.
I believe right now you're 22. I feel for your emotions, thoughts, and feelings. I felt the same way once upon a time in 1993. My advice to be for you is to discipline your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Work on it every day. No one told me this at your age. Forget about love and relationships for right now until your in your thirties when men and woman are more mature. Focusing on the wrong things prevents you from succeeding in life.

Everything comes from within yourself. The exterior world may seem glamorous, shiny materialistic things, even paper money. The world may show you images of the rich and famous. Those are all the icing on the cake.

Understand it doesn't matter how much money you got in your pocket. Zero dollars or a Billion dollars. Riches and Materialism will fluctuate through out your life time. Life is a gamble. There is life and death. Everything can be lost, everything can be gained. You will win at times in life. You will lose at times in your life. The same rules apply to every man and woman in Fast lane.

You're ahead of your time. You being in here at your age gives you a lead start, where in 1993, there was no Fast lane with incredible wisdom, knowledge, and support. You have the knowledge and wisdom at your finger tips. Use it wisely. Remember it in your mind. Take it with you wherever you go in life. And one day when you're my age of 46, you will look back at your younger self right now, and be thankful you had this opportunity M.J. gave you.

Learn to use your energy in a constructive way, appropriate way. Try not to be reckless with yourself. Try not to be reckless with your thoughts, emotions, and feelings.

When ever you feel polarized or hurt like you do right now, remember it's never been about you. You're worthy of all the abundance and success in the world. The world will be cruel, rough, tough, filled with obstacles, Baby Boomers, and Generation X will rattle your cage. Even when they do, don't take it personally. They're building you to be a strong leader, giving you wisdom. You're stronger than you believe. You're tougher than most Baby Boomers and Generation X.

Get up off the ground. Take life in stride. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself understanding. Give yourself empathy. You are your best friend. You are who will get you where you want to be in life. Every time you fail, get back up again, keep moving forward. Master your self, know yourself. Failure isn't your destiny. What you believe, you perceive. I'm sure you will kick butt in life, once you grow, develop your strengths, and mature. You're just beginning.

If your thoughts, emotions, and feelings are getting you down. Keep your mind busy reading every page of the Fast Lane Forum. Write you're own blog. Write a book. Be creative and use your pain as leverage.
 

Mattie

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Create a program every day to unlearn thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions, and recondition self every day. Shed all the negative and replace it with new positive. They don't know how to problem solve, and locked in to their inner darkness of the psyche.

1. Meditate for an hour a day whether you feel like it or not for 365 days.
2. EFT for a half hour a day for 365 days.
3. Read Fastlane for a few hours a day.
4. Move your body with Recreational Sports/Martial Arts for an hour or two hours a day.
5. Rest and sleep 5-8 hours a day.
6. Eat healthy meals three times a day, with snacks.
7. Listen to some motivational music that gets you moving.
8. Be creative, Artistic, Music, Painting, Writing, and Innovating (Millennials do this).
9. Stop focusing on Dark Emo, Goth, Dark Anime, Fantasy, Fiction, Music, Literature, Games like Dungeons and Dragons Gaming all the time.
10. Find some more positive things to focus on.
11. Stop escaping through drugs, alcohol, Sex.
12. Find some positive people to hang around who have the same interests as a Creative Entrepreneur.
13. Find a positive Nurturing Mentor, Role Model, Leads by Example
14. Breathing is number one key.
15. Focus on the positives in life instead of the negatives.
16. Take your ears, eyes, and thoughts off everyone else and what they're doing.
17. Focus on taking care of self. Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, Physical, Sexual Health.
18. Choose Life! Speak Life to yourself.
19. What is life? What does that mean? What kind of choices do you need to make to feel alive? What kind of friends? What kind of co-workers? Who is on your team? Will they go the distance? Will they quite during half-time?
20. Don't Quit on yourself. Don't Give up on you. Don't Give up on life. Don't Give up on the dream.
21. What is your purpose? What is your vision? What is your Why?
22. Life is a journey of self-mastery and self-discovery.
23. How do you problem solve?
24. Do some Algebra, Geometry, Cross word puzzles, Puzzles, play some chess.
25. Get your mind muscles moving.
26. If your thoughts are wandering, it means you have to much idle time on your hands.
27. If your bored, it means your not taking action and doing something with your mind.
28. Over thinking, deep thinking, is a sign you're not doing something constructive or creative.
29. Fixed focused. Your laser focused. Obsessing on one thing. Divert your attention every day to focus on something positive. No matter how many times it takes break your focus, your thoughts, and intention and do something different.
30. It takes six years to empty out all the garbage, gunk, and negativity. Get started. And if you can do it faster than I did. Well you may break a Golden Record. Start now!
31. Love is the highest place to be.
32. Gratitude is the same place.
34. Forgiveness is the same place.
35. Patience and understanding with yourself.
36. Fail as fast as you can. You will get there faster.
37. Be unstoppable!
38. It's normal to crash and burn sometimes. Get back up! Keep moving.
39. Time will give you, the best answers.

I know there are plenty of Millennials who are creative with their Music, Art, and Literature. They're creating games, apps, and the Indie population. Go find those people.
 
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Dylan_91

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Hi all.

My 22nd birthday is in a few days, and I've never been so depressed. I've done nothing with my life, I've got no prospects I can see and I'm hurtling along a road to nowhere.

I have a totally dead-end job and I can't find another one (trying to do copywriting to make some extra money to get to a better environment, nobody's taken my work yet), intractable depression and anxiety (you name the treatment, I have tried it), I'm terrible at saving money because nothing seems worth saving for.

I know it is possible for some people to have a Fastlane career and an extraordinary life, but I see no indication that it is for me. I simply don't seem to have the kind of brain for inventing or anything like that. I've never been the ideating type.

By the way, before you ask, I haven't bought the TMF book yet (looked through it at the bookstore).

Sorry for the ranting. I'm just at a point that, while I'm not suicidal, I am at a point that I just don't see any reason to continue. I'm desperate for a goal that's worth staying alive for.

Anyways. Nice to meet you.
Hey - I know the feelings anxiety/depression runs in my family and I have combat PTSD and other PTSD. Negativity runs deep lol but optimism has always helped me. Victim roles are commonly played I know, I felt like that for a long time trying to say - well these kids never F*cking went to combat or these kids don't F*cking understand. And hey most people won't ever understand certain shit. believe me it's like looking through a lense that others cant see, reality... a painful grim reality.. but on the other side of the fence we can keep living on and find something we enjoy in it. Find your soul, look deep, ask yourself what you truly desire and seize it.

At the end of the day, the past never goes away or maybe you have F*cked yourself now, but that doesn't mean you have to F*ck yourself tomorrow. I'm just a little bit older than you and I gotta say man, time keeps ticking, but everyday wake up with new thoughts, find that passion and life will fall into place. Shit I've hit rock bottom bro, and to think back when I was OK my mind was fresh I had the world, and through some bull shit, it all fell apart. Piece by piece. I've been building the pieces back and I see that change and positive shit is possible. You can too.

Best of luck, F*cking change that thought process!


P.S.
Pardon my language, it's how I communicate this shit.
 

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Dylan_91

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Create a program every day to unlearn thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions, and recondition self every day. Shed all the negative and replace it with new positive. They don't know how to problem solve, and locked in to their inner darkness of the psyche.

1. Meditate for an hour a day whether you feel like it or not for 365 days.
2. EFT for a half hour a day for 365 days.
3. Read Fastlane for a few hours a day.
4. Move your body with Recreational Sports/Martial Arts for an hour or two hours a day.
5. Rest and sleep 5-8 hours a day.
6. Eat healthy meals three times a day, with snacks.
7. Listen to some motivational music that gets you moving.
8. Be creative, Artistic, Music, Painting, Writing, and Innovating (Millennials do this).
9. Stop focusing on Dark Emo, Goth, Dark Anime, Fantasy, Fiction, Music, Literature, Games like Dungeons and Dragons Gaming all the time.
10. Find some more positive things to focus on.
11. Stop escaping through drugs, alcohol, Sex.
12. Find some positive people to hang around who have the same interests as a Creative Entrepreneur.
13. Find a positive Nurturing Mentor, Role Model, Leads by Example
14. Breathing is number one key.
15. Focus on the positives in life instead of the negatives.
16. Take your ears, eyes, and thoughts off everyone else and what they're doing.
17. Focus on taking care of self. Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, Physical, Sexual Health.
18. Choose Life! Speak Life to yourself.
19. What is life? What does that mean? What kind of choices do you need to make to feel alive? What kind of friends? What kind of co-workers? Who is on your team? Will they go the distance? Will they quite during half-time?
20. Don't Quit on yourself. Don't Give up on you. Don't Give up on life. Don't Give up on the dream.
21. What is your purpose? What is your vision? What is your Why?
22. Life is a journey of self-mastery and self-discovery.
23. How do you problem solve?
24. Do some Algebra, Geometry, Cross word puzzles, Puzzles, play some chess.
25. Get your mind muscles moving.
26. If your thoughts are wandering, it means you have to much idle time on your hands.
27. If your bored, it means your not taking action and doing something with your mind.
28. Over thinking, deep thinking, is a sign you're not doing something constructive or creative.
29. Fixed focused. Your laser focused. Obsessing on one thing. Divert your attention every day to focus on something positive. No matter how many times it takes break your focus, your thoughts, and intention and do something different.

I know there are plenty of Millennials who are creative with their Music, Art, and Literature. They're creating games, apps, and the Indie population. Go find those people.
Very good list.
 

BlakeIC

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Hi, welcome to the forum.

Step 1. Buy the book.

Step 2. Stop playing the victim role.

Step 3. You have something called learned helplessness.

I'm not trying to be mean, it's just that your mentality and outlook is negative.
BOOM!

STOP copywriting.

You are money chasing, as you said 'nobody's taken my work yet'.

LEARN a trade or craft before you start asking for money and claiming to be a practitioner of the trade.

^Argue's post is spot on.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Has anyone told you guys (and gals) ... you are AWESOME!

Some really incredible replies.

I was gonna add my own, but the OP hasn't been back to comment on anything. Not even a like.

Hello OP? Anyone home? Can you please acknowledge the responses in your introduction?

Or are we just talking to ourselves?
 

TylerH1994

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Depression is a touchy situation, so I do think that you should consider getting professional help at first.

But, if you choose not to, then it sounds to me like you need a "quick win." And trying to build a business is probably not going to give you a quick win. Read the book and you'll understand why.

Instead, I'd focus on things you are good at, or want to get good at. This is why improving your health has been shown to be so effective at lowering depression, stress, etc. When you get better at something you care about, you build confidence. And EVERYONE cares about their health to some extent.

If it were me, I'd take a look at Mattie's list, stop beating myself up so much, and start surrounding myself with more positivity.
 

Ika

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Even if he does not return, this thread will help others.

You are talking to those that are searching for the topic, those that don't want to openly post about their deep problems, those that did not realise they face this problem.

You guys helped all of them.
 

pickeringmt

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One other thing man:

If you didn't feel like this, you'd never do anything to change your life.

This feeling will proceed improvement in any area. Have some compassion for yourself and understand that nobody is going to start where they want to end up, so just figure out where you would rather be, draw a line, and start walking.
 
OP
OP
C

climbtothelight

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Apr 19, 2017
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whats holding you back?

when someone posts sometihng like this, they always have this 'thing' that stops them... ask yourself what is it
My brother's death?
Emotionally abusive parents (who I still live with because of an unhealthily codependent relationship)?


Dude...you're 22. Relax. There's more life ahead of you then behind you. Travel..:if you can. Get a better view of the world. You'll get a better perspective on life in general. Or join a program abroad where you exchange a service for housing/stipend. Return when you're ready and hit the ground running. You'll be light years ahead of your contemporaries.
Oh, travelling has always been a huge lifeblood for my family. I actually grew up between the UK and the States (I have dual citizenship but I've lived fulltime in the US since I was 11, I'd love to be able to live across the pond). I spent most of last year WWOOFing in Australia and New Zealand, is that what you were talking about? I don't have the funds to do that again for the time being, I'd love to though.
The weird thing was, even though each day was filled with uncertainty, I was the happiest I'd been in years. It was a dream that was short but was happy.
 
OP
OP
C

climbtothelight

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Apr 19, 2017
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Has anyone told you guys (and gals) ... you are AWESOME!

Some really incredible replies.

I was gonna add my own, but the OP hasn't been back to comment on anything. Not even a like.

Hello OP? Anyone home? Can you please acknowledge the responses in your introduction?

Or are we just talking to ourselves?
Rest assured, I'm baaaaack. I've had family in town.
 
OP
OP
C

climbtothelight

New Contributor
Apr 19, 2017
6
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18
USA
Hi, welcome to the forum.

Step 1. Buy the book.

Step 2. Stop playing the victim role.

Step 3. You have something called learned helplessness.

I'm not trying to be mean, it's just that your mentality and outlook is negative.
Believe me I know it is (and it's sort of been my lifelong MO), I have no idea of any other way to be.
 

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