$100 Copywriting Contest...

[MJ DeMarco]

Folks, I'm looking for this GO FUND ME campaign to be rewritten in persuasive copy.

https://www.gofundme.com/6rv847rp

Here is the original text:

Shelby is not just any rescue!!!! Apprximately a year ago this beautiful girl was found dumped in a Phoenix Canal and was taken to our county shelter! Shelby was going to be PTD due to her condition but a Great! rescuer saw she had a special light in her eyes and even without a place for her to go for sure .....she was saved.

God Sent a True Angel from Heaven named Misa Nakayama that stepped up to the plate to become her foster Mom not knowing the medical needs that lye ahead.......I was asked by the rescue to transport this precious girl and do a home check.........I have a pretty thick skin but when I picked her up I couldn't stop crying in route to her new home. Not so much about her condition but her soul and beauty and how unbelievablly happy and friendly she was despite her condition and what she had been through......

Rescue got her to vet and found she had multiple health issues from diabetes to tumor.......I honestly can't tell you the whole list ....but Shelby is a sick sick girl.....YET.......her foster Mom did not hestitate and gave her round the clock care from preparing her special meals to meds to keeping her spirits high with LOTS OF LOVE!!

Shelby and Misa have NEVER give up on the fight and kept battling to survive!!!

Misa then did something unheard of ......adopting Shelby and taking on the responsibility of her medical needs. Shelby was doing awesome and flourishing and even gaining weight she needed for important operations.........Then Saturday she became very ill and her Mom rushed her to the vet and she had to undergo Emergency Surgurey to save her life. She needed surgery to remove her uterus because it was infected. Her type 1 diabetes became diabetic ketoacidosis. She was critical and in extreme danger.
Her Mom without question borrowed money from her friend because she could not pay, ...........Bill is MORE than $10,000
Blood transfusion is $400.00 alone that has not yet been paid .............
Please help Shelby's treatment at Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic, which does take donations via telephone.

I Cry as I write this ..........Shelby is a FIGHTER and Her Mom has never ever given up the battle to get her better..........She would have already passed at the hands of anyone else!!!!

As you can see, from the title and the text, it is pretty poor and won't result in many donations.

I am willing to take submissions to have this rewritten in persuasive marketing style.

Winner will receive $100 if your copy is chosen.

I also reserve the right to close down the contest at anytime pursuant to finding a version I like.

Or if you don't want partake in the contest, a donation works as well although this is not an official call for that. I just know that this campaign won't pull very well with this type of writing.

Hope to see some of you guys pull off some great copy!

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

I am Shelby.

That’s me in the photo.

Once I had some mean humans who starved me, neglected me and left me for dead in Phoenix Canal. All I remember is being scared, hungry and cold, wondering what I had done wrong. How could I have failed my best friend?

Out of nowhere, I was scooped to safety by a stranger who took me to a place where dogs like me can go to be warm, fed and loved.

I was warm but I could hear voices. The voices said things like, “maybe she won’t make it through the night”, and, “we may have to put her to sleep”. I don’t know what they mean by sleeping because I was already sleeping a lot. I was scared!

LIFE CHANGER

My life changed when Misa Nakayama told my rescuers that she would be my new “foster mom”. I was no Best in Show. The vet said I was really sick with lots of medical conditions I don’t understand, like diabetes and tumors. My new mom loved me so much that even though I was very skinny and very sick, she said she would be my Forever Mom!

TWIST OF FATE

Forever Mom got me on the road to recovery. I was gaining weight and doing so well. Just when everything looked solid for Forever Mom and me, I got really sick again. The vet said I had an infection so bad that it could kill me. For the vet to do a big operation, it cost Forever Mom $10,000. I don’t know what that means but I think it was a lot because she didn’t have that much money. Forever Mom borrowed the money from friends but now she has to pay it back.

I am stable at home with Forever Mom now although I still need a lot of care. Forever Mom saved my life TWICE. How do you repay someone for the gift of life? I would like to save her in return.

SAVING THE SAVERS

People say the Internet is where you go for help. So here I am, one miracle Shelby dog, canal survivor, maybe one-time shoe-chewer, asking for your help to repay those who saved my life.

The buttons below make it easy for humans to DONATE NOW or SHARE ON FACEBOOK. Please give what you can, and help me share my story.

Even though mean humans hurt me, I have not lost faith in humans.

I am Dog. I love everyone.

Shelby x

Congrats to @BlackPebbles -- I will be choosing a variation of your idea. Please post a formal introduction on the forum (in the intro section) seeing you are new around here. Please use the contact us link below to message me a PayPal email address for your $100 victory payment.

Honorable mention to @RHL for this fine work...

Why not; I love dogs.

Just one year ago, Shelby was pulled from the Phoenix Canal, where she had been thrown by her previous owner. Her emaciated body was barely strong enough to keep her from drowning. But even though you could lift her with one arm and count her ribs, the size of the fight in Shelby--the fight to live--was enormous. With the help of a generous foster parent who cared for Shelby as she clung to life by a thread, she regained her vigor, her energy, and her trust of people. Even when she was weak, she was enthusiastic and excited to make new friends, fighting her way into our hearts even as she battled illness and malnutrition.

Shelby's foster mother couldn't say no to adopting this poor dog, and selflessly volunteered to take on her medical needs. In addition to her low weight, Shelby had diabetes, a tumor, and many other issues that required substantial medication. She continued to thrive and gain weight, making a slow and steady recovery and resuming a normal life.

Then, last weekend, Shelby became violently ill and needed to be rushed to the emergency clinic. After so much progress, the veterinarian delivered tragic news: Her diabetes had developed to DKA, a potentially life-threatening condition where an excess of Ketones build up in the body, breaking down fat tissue and making your blood more acidic. It can lead to a diabetic coma, and in Shelby's case, it led to an infection in her uterus that required a $10,000 emergency hysterectomy to save her life.

Shelby suffered incredible neglect and mistreatment at the hands of her original owners, but her valiant spirit and tremendous energy has enabled her to life. Shelby's new owner has done everything in her power to help her, but the bills from the latest round of emergency treatments are too much for her to bear alone. If you're an animal lover, a dog person, or just someone who wants to make the world a better place, please join the fight to help Shelby make a full recovery, and right the wrongs of the evil people that abused her. If just a few hundred people out of the estimated 275 million who visit GoFundMe every month could find it in their hearts to donate, it would lift a tremendous weight off her owner's mind and help her settle Shelby's debt, so she can get back to giving Shelby the love and support she needs to fight diabetes and make a full recovery.

Please make donations on Shelby's behalf directly to Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic. Donations may be made by phone. Thank you for your love and kindness.

Other worthy mentions...
@SimonP99 @Chris Veal AND @Joshua Navarro

 

[Supa]

Here's my copy.

Heroes Needed - Help to Save a Fighter’s Life. (Headline)

Want to be a hero for someone today?

Great! I will tell you everything you need to know to do so, and trust me, it is easier than you may think. But first, I want you to meet Shelby.

In fact you already met her when you looked at that great photo above, yes that's her.

Shelby had to endure a tough life, which hit rockbottom when she almost drowned in a canal. It felt only right to give this cute little girl a new home, after saving her from that canal.

Every loving dog owner would, right?

At first she was pretty shy, but Shelby started to become a happy, lively and trusting dog. She’s a part of the family now and, as every dog owner can probably agree, a life without this new gained family member is unthinkable.

I can only guess, but chances are high that Shelby was never so happy in her life before.

Unfortunately, this happiness didn’t last too long.

Shelby’s life is in danger again.

This time it is not a water-filled canal. This time it is not something that we can help her out of.

Shelby was diagnosed with Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA), a life-threatening disease, which, without the proper treatment, will eventually lead to Shelby’s death.

Be this young girl’s hero and save her life with a donation.

Donate today and don’t let this chance of saving someone’s life pass by. Save her from a cruel death, only moments after she finally started to be happy.

Be a Hero. Donate Today. Before it's too late.

 

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[raden1]

Is Shelby's life worth $10,000? Read Her Story and Decide for Yourself!


A beautiful dog was rescued from the brink of death recently. This dog is named Shelby.

Shelby was rescued from the Phoenix Canal. She is now living with Misa. Misa adopted Shelby because it was apparent that Shelby was a sweet, loving dog.

Shelby is suffering.

You understand how precious life is. You understand how tragic it is to see an animal die in pain. You have to power to make sure that does not happen.

After being rescued, the vet found very bad news. Shelby had diabetes and a tumor.

Later, worse news was found.

Shelby had to have emergency surgery and have her infected uterus removed. Shelby's diabetes then turned into diabetic ketoacidosis. Which simply means Shelby was about to die. But after a blood transfusion Shelby is stable.

Shelby has Fought and Suffered Enough!

Please, I personally need you to donate and fund Shelby. Misa and Shelby have gone through thick and thin together. But they cannot do it alone. We have all needed help one time or another. Please just try and remember the relief you felt when someone helped you.

Know you can help Misa and Shelby feel that same feeling of relief.

A donation of $1 will transform into a saved life.

Please donate before it is too late!



That was my first ever copy! Probably terrible, but it was fun.

 

[RHL]

Why not; I love dogs.

Just one year ago, Shelby was pulled from the Phoenix Canal, where she had been thrown by her previous owner. Her emaciated body was barely strong enough to keep her from drowning. But even though you could lift her with one arm and count her ribs, the size of the fight in Shelby--the fight to live--was enormous. With the help of a generous foster parent who cared for Shelby as she clung to life by a thread, she regained her vigor, her energy, and her trust of people. Even when she was weak, she was enthusiastic and excited to make new friends, fighting her way into our hearts even as she battled illness and malnutrition.

Shelby's foster mother couldn't say no to adopting this poor dog, and selflessly volunteered to take on her medical needs. In addition to her low weight, Shelby had diabetes, a tumor, and many other issues that required substantial medication. She continued to thrive and gain weight, making a slow and steady recovery and resuming a normal life.

Then, last weekend, Shelby became violently ill and needed to be rushed to the emergency clinic. After so much progress, the veterinarian delivered tragic news: Her diabetes had developed to DKA, a potentially life-threatening condition where an excess of Ketones build up in the body, breaking down fat tissue and making your blood more acidic. It can lead to a diabetic coma, and in Shelby's case, it led to an infection in her uterus that required a $10,000 emergency hysterectomy to save her life.

Shelby suffered incredible neglect and mistreatment at the hands of her original owners, but her valiant spirit and tremendous energy has enabled her to life. Shelby's new owner has done everything in her power to help her, but the bills from the latest round of emergency treatments are too much for her to bear alone. If you're an animal lover, a dog person, or just someone who wants to make the world a better place, please join the fight to help Shelby make a full recovery, and right the wrongs of the evil people that abused her. If just a few hundred people out of the estimated 275 million who visit GoFundMe every month could find it in their hearts to donate, it would lift a tremendous weight off her owner's mind and help her settle Shelby's debt, so she can get back to giving Shelby the love and support she needs to fight diabetes and make a full recovery.

Please make donations on Shelby's behalf directly to Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic. Donations may be made by phone. Thank you for your love and kindness.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Thanks guys for the submissions, some really great stuff already.

Here is some more info:

PTD = Put to death.

Not only was she rescued from drowning in the canal, she went to the pound and then they almost killed her because of the condition that she was in.

Also the owner hand prepares every single meal that Shelby eats. Her medical condition complicates things with regard to what she could eat and she has spent countless hours prepping food and researching what was best for her. Spending her money buying supplements and different types of food to give her the best nutrition possible.

Also just for full disclosure so there's no confusion, the Go Fund Me is an attempt to recover the costs which (from what I understand) has been spread out on a bunch of people's credit cards.

 

[BlackPebbles]

Folks, I'm looking for this GO FUND ME campaign to be rewritten in persuasive copy.

https://www.gofundme.com/6rv847rp

I am Shelby.

That’s me in the photo.

Once I had some mean humans who starved me, neglected me and left me for dead in Phoenix Canal. All I remember is being scared, hungry and cold, wondering what I had done wrong. How could I have failed my best friend?

Out of nowhere, I was scooped to safety by a stranger who took me to a place where dogs like me can go to be warm, fed and loved.

I was warm but I could hear voices. The voices said things like, “maybe she won’t make it through the night”, and, “we may have to put her to sleep”. I don’t know what they mean by sleeping because I was already sleeping a lot. I was scared!

LIFE CHANGER

My life changed when Misa Nakayama told my rescuers that she would be my new “foster mom”. I was no Best in Show. The vet said I was really sick with lots of medical conditions I don’t understand, like diabetes and tumors. My new mom loved me so much that even though I was very skinny and very sick, she said she would be my Forever Mom!

TWIST OF FATE

Forever Mom got me on the road to recovery. I was gaining weight and doing so well. Just when everything looked solid for Forever Mom and me, I got really sick again. The vet said I had an infection so bad that it could kill me. For the vet to do a big operation, it cost Forever Mom $10,000. I don’t know what that means but I think it was a lot because she didn’t have that much money. Forever Mom borrowed the money from friends but now she has to pay it back.

I am stable at home with Forever Mom now although I still need a lot of care. Forever Mom saved my life TWICE. How do you repay someone for the gift of life? I would like to save her in return.

SAVING THE SAVERS

People say the Internet is where you go for help. So here I am, one miracle Shelby dog, canal survivor, maybe one-time shoe-chewer, asking for your help to repay those who saved my life.

The buttons below make it easy for humans to DONATE NOW or SHARE ON FACEBOOK. Please give what you can, and help me share my story.

Even though mean humans hurt me, I have not lost faith in humans.

I am Dog. I love everyone.

Shelby x

 

[jsk29]

Will She Make It?

Dear Reader,

The dog photographed above is Shelby.

And this is her story:

Just last year, Shelby was found abandoned and dumped in a Phoenix Canal.

She was brought into our county shelter.

As we watched her suffer - with no other choice - she was scheduled to be PTD...

However, a rescuer appeared!

Like an angel from heaven, Misa Nakayama saw a special light in Shelby’s eyes, and resolved to be her foster mother.

A couple of days later, I was assigned to transport Shelby to her new home and do an inspection.

For the first time while transporting a dog home, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing down my face..

Not because of her poor condition, but because of her soul and beauty.

Even while suffering and starving, she was unbelievably happy and friendly.

When Misa took her to the vet, they discovered she had multiple severe health issues - ranging from diabetes to tumors…

Without hesitation, Misa gave her round-the-clock care.

From preparing her meds to keeping her spirits high with lots of love.

Misa even decided to adopt Shelby and take on the FULL responsibility of her medical needs!

Together, they never gave up and kept battling on for survival.

And over the past few months, Shelby has flourished - gaining the weight she needs for important operations.

Until last Saturday.

She became extremely ill.

When Misa rushed her to the vet, she discovered Shelby had to undergo Emergency Surgery to save her life.

Shelby's uterus is infected, her type 1 diabetes is now diabetic ketoacidosis.

She’s in extreme and critical danger.

Misa has put up as much money as she could, and has even borrowed money from a friend.

But the bill is OVER $10,000.

The blood transfusion, which has not yet been paid, is $400.00 alone.

Shelby is currently being treated at Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic (which can take donations via telephone).

She’s a FIGHTER who wouldn't have made it this far without a burning desire to LIVE.

Her mom, Misa, refuses to EVER give up on her.

Please remember she went from nearly drowning in a Phoenix canal to receiving loving care in her new home.

YOU can help her recover to lead a fresh start to a happy life.

Will you be Shelby’s hero and help save her by donating?

No matter how much you donate, it would aid Shelby’s battle for recovery.

Please help now!

Sincerely,


Adrienne Ayala


P.S. If you can’t donate yourself, please share this page with any friends and family who can - it’s urgent!

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Thanks guys I'm gonna evaluate these and make a decision this weekend.

 

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[Chris Veal]

What Would You Do If Your Pet Was at Deaths Door?!

Well, that’s the case with this sweet little dog named Shelby. She was dumped in a Canal and left to die but rescued at the last moment and taken to the county shelter.


This beautiful creature was scheduled to be put down but luckily God Sent a True Angel from Heaven named Misa Nakayama who saw something special in her eyes and was saved.


I was asked by the rescue to transport this precious girl and do a home check. I have a pretty thick skin but when I picked her up I COULDN'T STOP CRYING in route to her new home…not so much about her condition but It was her soul and beauty that shined through…and how unbelievably happy and friendly she was despite her condition and what she had been through......


The End of The Story?


But that’s not the end of the story… As you can imagine, Shelby has some serious health problems.


After Misa became Shelby’s foster care provider she felt the love and companionship that Shelby offered. However, Misa had no idea the severity of Shelby’s medical needs.


Her multiple health issues ranged from diabetes to a tumor and many others as well. Needless to say, Shelby is a very sick girl.


Misa did not hesitate in her care and provided round-the-clock care with plenty of love. Misa decided to adopt Shelby and she began to show signs of improvement. She was eating and gaining weight.


Tragedy Strikes


Then tragedy struck! Shelby became very ill and was rushed to the vet. Shelby’s uterus was infected and had to be removed. Her type 1 diabetes had worsened to diabetic ketoacidosis.

The bill for surgery would EXCEED $10,000. The bill for the blood transfusion was $400.00 alone.

Can you imagine…the thick, sticky sensation of panic and adrenaline coursing through Misa at that moment?

But that didn't stop Misa. She came up with as much money as she could. She even borrowed money to at least pay for some of the emergency surgery.



That’s how much Misa believed and loved Shelby. But it wasn't enough.


Be A Hero For Shelby


Shelby should be dead by now. But due to the unselfish sacrifice and compassion of Misa, Shelby has a chance. But they can’t do it alone. They need your help.


Please find it in your heart to help save Shelby…and help Misa with the medical bills.


You Can Be a Hero! Please Donate now.

 

[AndrewNC]

"Blood transfusion is $400.00 alone that has not yet been paid ............."

I feel that this would be the main emotional selling point to include at the beginning of the copy, but I would rewrite it.

"Local dog, Shelby needs an emergency blood transfusion, and we don't have the $400 to pay for it..please help right now." (could still be better)

1. Because it is actual scarcity. The dog needs immediate medical care, and the money is not there to pay for it. We all know scarcity sells, and this is real, so that would be a great theme to build the copy around.

2. It also plays into the compassionate emotions of others.

Where is the campaign planning to get most of it's traffic, MJ?

If it's the Fountain Hills or Scottsdale or Mesa Area, I would include the "localnes"s of it. because it brings the campaign much closer to home, and having that in there could get the local media outlets to repeat the story (news, newspapers, town hall groups, and facebook shares, etc.). And it would also carry over to the valley-wide networks when it picks up some traction and good things are happening for the dog, which would lead to more local donations.

For the picture, are there other pictures of the puppy, playing with kids or anything? People will be able to relate to the campaign more if they see family involved, especially kids with a smile on their face.

I don't feel that I'd be the best choice to write the copy here with the other talent we have around, but I encourage whoever does....to consider this as a way to include the known sales princples into this - scarcity/limited time, causing them to act now.

 

[BlakeIC]

I am not a copywriter and never written an 'ad', but it's worth a shot

LOCAL RESCUE DOG LEFT FOR DEAD​

Would you rather buy that candy bar or help save a precious dogs life? ​

A $5000 bill with a Blood transfusion cost of $400 alone

Shelby, a rescue dog who was tossed into the Phoenix Canal and left to die 1 year ago is in need of help yet again.

This past Saturday Shelby fell ill and required immediate surgery. Having left Misa with a bill over $15000!!

Shelby's adopter, Misa, has forked in just over $10000 just to keep her running strong. Misa has reached a point where she can't any longer afford the other portion of the medical bills.

We are over 50% there and can't give up on Shelby & Misa right before they cross the finish line!

PLEASE consider... What would you do if your best friend just NEEDED 1 more shot and they could live in happiness?

P.S.

Donations of a penny, dollar or FACEBOOK SHARE will move this best friend 1 step closer to having a happy life again.

 

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[MartinMC]

Left to Die in a Canal, Now Amazing Rescue Dog Needs Your Help


Dear Fellow Dog Lover,

Doesn’t it break your heart to hear stories about dogs suffering? How many times do you see stories on the news or read about them in the paper – stories of innocent animals treated so poorly.

Wouldn’t it be great to give a helping hand to our furry little friends?

To be the defenders of the loyal pets who cannot defend themselves?

Well in a minute I’ll show you just how you can do that starting today.

But first, let me tell you about Shelby...

Recently, a woman named Mika Nakayama rescued Shelby. Miss Nakayama brought Shelby home with all the hope and excitement that comes with welcoming a new pet into the family.

And Shelby was no ordinary rescue dog.

You see, about a year ago Shelby was dumped in the Phoenix Canal and left to drown. Thankfully she was rescued and brought to the county shelter.

That’s where Miss Nakayama found her and fell in love with her.

Saving Shelby from being put down, Miss Nakayama brought Shelby into her home to begin a wonderful lifelong companionship.

But recently Shelby developed serious medical problems.

Being left for dead in the canal took a vicious toll on poor Shelby’s body.

She suffers from Type I Diabetes, has a tumor, and recently had her uterus removed due to infection. She’s had to endure surgery and blood transfusions.

However through all of this Miss Nakayama is determined not to let her dream of a life with Shelby pass by.

Miss Nakayama is providing round-the-clock care and refuses to give up on Shelby.

This is where we can use your help.

Shelby’s vet bills are $10,000 and climbing. Miss Nakayama has exhausted all of her financial resources – even borrowed money to help pay these bills.

Like all neglected dogs, Shelby desperately needs your help.

Today you can be the champion of not just Shelby, but animals everywhere. You can be the voice for those who have been treated and abused so badly.

Consider clicking on the Donate button at the top of your screen.

You can give Shelby another chance at life.

And make a stand for all the dogs that have been mistreated and forgotten by the evil of society.

Click the Donate button now. Any contribution will be like a gift sent from heaven for sweet Shelby.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Adrienne Ayala

P.S. Any donation you can make will be greatly appreciated. Miss Nakayama is by Shelby’s side round-the-clock hoping and praying for your miracle. Stand up for Shelby – and all dogs…Today!

 

[Guest34764]

Solid gold.

Don't tell him the competition ended already.

 

[Guest34764]

Seriously? Come on man.

What would you expect from someone who has an internet gaming meme for a profile picture?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

I think a critical fact of this is this dog was saved from the canal and saved from drowning.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Guys I'll have some more photos and information tomorrow!!

 

[BlakeIC]

Will She Make It?

Dear Reader,

The dog photographed above is Shelby.

And this is her story:

Just last year, Shelby was found abandoned and dumped in a Phoenix Canal.

She was brought into our county shelter.

As we watched her suffer - with no other choice - she was scheduled to be PTD...

However, a rescuer appeared!

Like an angel from heaven, Misa Nakayama saw a special light in Shelby’s eyes, and resolved to be her foster mother.

A couple of days later, I was assigned to transport Shelby to her new home and do an inspection.

For the first time while transporting a dog home, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing down my face..

Not because of her poor condition, but because of her soul and beauty.

Even while suffering and starving, she was unbelievably happy and friendly.

When Misa took her to the vet, they discovered she had multiple severe health issues - ranging from diabetes to tumors…

Without hesitation, Misa gave her round-the-clock care.

From preparing her meds to keeping her spirits high with lots of love.

Misa even decided to adopt Shelby and take on the FULL responsibility of her medical needs!

Together, they never gave up and kept battling on for survival.

And over the past few months, Shelby has flourished - gaining the weight she needs for important operations.

Until last Saturday.

She became extremely ill.

When Misa rushed her to the vet, she discovered Shelby had to undergo Emergency Surgery to save her life.

Shelby's uterus is infected, her type 1 diabetes is now diabetic ketoacidosis.

She’s in extreme and critical danger.

Misa has put up as much money as she could, and has even borrowed money from a friend.

But the bill is OVER $10,000.

The blood transfusion, which has not yet been paid, is $400.00 alone.

Shelby is currently being treated at Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic (which can take donations via telephone).

She’s a FIGHTER who wouldn't have me it this far without a burning desire to LIVE and her mom, Misa, refuses to EVER give up on her.

Please remember she went from nearly drowning in a Phoenix canal to receiving loving care in her new home.

YOU can help her recover to lead a fresh start to a happy life.

Will you be Shelby’s hero and help save her by donating?

No matter how much you donate, it would aid Shelby’s battle for recovery.

Please help now!

Sincerely,


Adrienne Ayala


P.S. If you can’t donate yourself, please share this page with any friends and family who can - it’s urgent!

ooo i like, great job

 

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[Torty Emmanuel]

Ok. Here goes my copy

HELP SHELBY WIN TODAY​

​

A dog is man's best friend. Is that really true? How come a man flung his little puppy into the Phoenix canal and left her for dead?! The dog you see in the picture above is that puppy. Her name is Shelby.

From the moment she fell into the canal, her battle for survival started. Several days passed by and she tirelessly struggled to keep afloat and her strength waning, yet she never gave up. A lovely woman, Misa Nakayama, spotted her and rescued her from imminent death.

Misa selflessly volunteered to adopt Shelby as her new foster mother. By this time, Shelby suffered from multiple health problems ranging from tumor to type 1 diabetes owing to the harsh exposure. Despite her sad experiences and critical health condition, Shelby showed unbelievable enthusiasm and zest.

As her regular treatments continued, Shelby gradually became stronger and healthier. This new found strength enabled her enjoy the warmth and loving comfort of Misa and to make new friends despite the past horrible experience with her original owner.

Few days ago, Shelby became fatally ill. The type 1 diabetes degenerated to a condition of diabetic acidoketosis (DKA)- a condition where the body breaks down fat tissue and uses it as fuel instead of the usual glucose. This led to an emergency hysterectomy that cost $10,000. Shelby now suffers severe abdominal pain, has little to no appetite and having rapid weight loss ( take a closer look at the picture to see her ribs sticking out her sides). As you read this, Shelby is in a dire need of a $400 blood transfusion.

As the medical bills keep pilling up, Misa is unable to handle it alone and would require your kind assistance to help Shelby win this on-going battle for her life.

Is it still possible for Shelby to live? Yeah, it depends. It depends on how fast you are able to show your kindness and love to her. If you can spare only one candy ($1) or a cup of starbuzz coffee (about $3) or a donut (about $3), it will go a long way to help Shelby have another chance at life and Misa will highly appreciate your support.

Please send your donations to Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic. Donations may be made by phone. Thank you once again.


PS. Please you can help share Shelby's story with your friends. Be her hero today!

 

[SimonP99]

Folks, I'm looking for this GO FUND ME campaign to be rewritten in persuasive copy.

https://www.gofundme.com/6rv847rp

Here is the original text:




As you can see, from the title and the text, it is pretty poor and won't result in many donations.

I am willing to take submissions to have this rewritten in persuasive marketing style.

Winner will receive $100 if your copy is chosen.

I also reserve the right to close down the contest at anytime pursuant to finding a version I like.

Or if you don't want partake in the contest, a donation works as well although this is not an official call for that. I just know that this campaign won't pull very well with this type of writing.

Hope to see some of you guys pull off some great copy!

Dumped in a canal and left for dead, rescued then scheduled to be put down
Against all the odds Shelby is still here and she NEEDS YOUR HELP.

Dear animal lovers,

Shelby's story while full of heartbreak is also a tale of love, caring and compassion. Yes she was thrown into a canal and left to drown , then after being rescued determined to have too many medical issues to be worth saving and scheduled to be put to death. But Shelby's beautiful spirit so affected a rescuer that she was saved despite having nowhere to go and nobody to adopt her.

Shelby's health issues were likely to prevent her from ever being adopted and the reprieve from her death sentence may merely have been temporary, but sometimes in this world truly kind and caring people appear as if heaven sent, and in Shelby's case her angel's name was Misa Nakayama. Misa agreed to be a foster mom to Shelby.

As the rescuer drove Shelby to see her new home she was brought to tears by how incredibly happy and friendly she was despite all she had been through and was still going through. The rescue center had taken Shelby to a veterinarian who found her to be suffering from diabetes, tumors and a whole list of health issues. She was a very sick dog.

Shelby's new "mom" Misa cared for her around the clock, providing her with all the medications she needed and preparing special meals and of course giving her lots of love and attention. Misa never stopped caring for Shelby and this brave dog never stopped fighting to survive.

Incredibly Misa did something unheard of and actually adopted Shelby which meant taking on the financial responsibility for her medical expenses, an act of true devotion rarely seen.

With all the love and care she received Shelby's health improved, she was gaining weight and becoming stronger which was important because she was going to have to undergo a few operations to get her completely healthy.

Suddenly out of nowhere Shelby fell extremely ill and Misa rushed her to the veterinarian. Unfortunately the situation was critical and Shelby required emergency surgery to save her life. Her diabetes had infected the uterus which needed to be removed. The cost of the surgery would exceed $10,000 which Misa did not have but she refused to just let Shelby die and borrowed money from a friend for the surgery. Shelby came through the surgery and has beaten the odds once more.

Shelby has found her angel in Misa because without her she would surely have died. Misa is determined that Shelby will become completely healthy and as she has already shown she will do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Shelby and Misa need your help.
The costs have piled up and some further treatments will be required. Please donate what you can and share this story with others.
Contribute to saving this sweet natured dog who has never stopped fighting to survive.
Help save Shelby... [HASHTAG]#helpsaveshelby[/HASHTAG]

Thank You


P.S. If we can get enough people to donate the price of one cup of their favorite blended coffee drink we can give Shelby the life she deserves

 

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[White Wolf]

If you have ever had a loved one suffer through health problems requiring expensive medical treatment, then you know what a heartwrenching experience it is to helplessly watch them in pain, and how debilitating and difficult it is when the cost of relieving their suffering is significantly out of your reach. Nevertheless, you would likely do anything and everything within your power to save them.

Pictured above is Shelby. After being left to die by her 'owner' in a Phoenix canal one year ago, she was rescued on the verge of drowning and brought to the county shelter, where veterinary examinations revealed multiple health issues, including type I diabetes and a tumor requiring surgery. Because of her complications, she was set to be euthanized until a woman named Misa Nakayama volunteered to adopt her.

Under Misa's care, Shelby's condition improved immensely. Her trauma and anxiety slowly receded, and, after many months of malnourishment, she gained some much-needed weight ahead of her operation. In spite of her suffering, she has proven to be one of the bravest and strongest dogs I have ever encountered and shouldered her burdens with a wagging tail and cheerful countenance. However, last Saturday, her health took a sudden turn for the worse.

After being rushed to the vet, it was determined that her type I diabetes had developed into diabetic ketoacidosis, a life-threatening medical emergency. Worse still, her uterus had become severely infected, requiring immediate surgery. In an effort to keep Shelby alive with little time to lose, Misa unhesitantly borrowed the funds necessary to proceed with the operations. Thanks to her, Shelby is alive and recovering, but the total medical bill is currently over $10,000.00 (the blood transfusion cost $400.00 alone) and placing Misa under significant financial pressure.

This is an appeal for help to those who have some disposable income and/or a desire to extend mercy to Misa, just as she did to Shelby, by contributing to the cost of Shelby's medical care. Misa loves Shelby immeasurably and has undertaken enormous personal sacrifices to keep her alive. If you agree with Misa that life is priceless and are interested in investing in Shelby's survival, we gratefully thank you for your compassion and encourage you to donate within your means via this page or the Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic, which also accepts donations by telephone.

 

[StevieB]

Thanks for sharing and helping this dog MJ. Donated. Unbelievable what people are capable of.

 

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[Chris Veal]

Hey MJ,

Thanks for the update. I have rewritten my 1st draft with the new info you provided.

What Would You Do If Your Pet Was At Deaths Door?!

[Insert First Pic Here]

Well, that’s the case with this sweet little dog named Shelby. She was dumped in a filthy Canal and left to die…


But at the last moment she was rescued and taken to the county shelter.


This beautiful creature was scheduled to be put down due to her extremely poor condition but luckily God sent a true Angel named Misa Nakayama who saw something special in her eyes and, thank Heaven, Shelby was saved.


Hi, My name is Adrienne…And I Cry as I write this…


I was asked by the rescue to transport this precious girl and do a home check. I have a pretty thick skin but when I picked her up I COULDN'T STOP CRYING in route to her new home…not so much about her condition but It was her soul and beauty that shined through…and how unbelievably happy and friendly she was despite her condition and what she had been through......


Shelby’s Condition


But that’s not the end of the story… As you can imagine, Shelby has some serious health problems.


After Misa became Shelby’s foster care provider she felt the love and companionship that Shelby offered. However, Misa had no idea the severity of Shelby’s medical needs.


Her multiple health issues ranged from diabetes to a tumor and many others as well. Needless to say, Shelby is a very sick girl.


Misa did not hesitate in her care and provided round-the-clock care with plenty of love. Misa decided to adopt Shelby and she began to show signs of improvement. She was eating and gaining weight.


Tragedy Strikes


Then tragedy struck! Shelby became very ill and was rushed to the vet. Shelby’s uterus was infected and had to be removed. Her type 1 diabetes had worsened to diabetic ketoacidosis.

The bill for surgery would EXCEED $10,000.
Can you imagine…the thick, sticky sensation of panic and adrenaline coursing through Misa at that moment?

But that didn't stop Misa. She came up with as much money as she could. She even borrowed money to at least pay for some of the emergency surgery.



That’s how much Misa believed in and loved Shelby. But it wasn't enough.


To Make Matters Worse


Shelby’s medical condition complicates things with regard to what she can eat. So, Misa prepares every single meal that Shelby eats. She has spent countless hours prepping food and researching what is best for her.


The high cost of supplements and different types of food to give her the best nutrition possible is taking its toll financially along with the medical expenses.


But the best in nutrition and medical care is Shelby’s only hope to survive and, with your help, thrive.


Be A Hero For Shelby


Shelby should be dead by now. But due to the sacrifice and compassion of Misa, Shelby has a chance. But they can’t do it alone. They need your help.


Shelby has so much going for her right now…Her sweet and indomitable spirit…Her will to live…a loving mother and family willing to sacrifice their time and money…the nutrition and medical care she is getting…

[Insert Photo of Shelby With Misa Here]

All Shelby needs is some assistance from you.


Please find it in your heart to help save Shelby…and help Misa with the medical bills.


You Can Be a Hero! Please Donate now.

 

[NonMagicalGenie]

Thought I would give a whack at this.

Urgent! Help This Family Today

Dogs are a man's best friend. Not only do they bring joy, but they are there for us whenever we need them. They are more then just "dogs", but trusted members of our family. I would do anything to save my dog, and I know you would to.

Let me introduce you to a beautiful dog, the photo above is a picture of her, and her name is Shelby.

Shelby isn't just a rescue dog, her rescuer (Misa Nakayama) has gone through great lengths to keep her alive for many years to come. Let me tell you their story.

About a year ago, Shelby was rescued from the Phoenix Canal where she was dumped by her previous owner and would've drowned if it was wasn't for Misa. After being rescued, she was then sent to the pound where, because of her health state, was going to be PTD (Put To Death). Misa saw the love that Shelby brought to her and decided to adopt her.

Being the courageous and brave Mother Misa is, she decided to take-on all of the responsibility for Shelby's medical needs. Ranging from diabetes to tumors, none of it scared Misa. With such medical issues, Shelby cannot eat many types of food. And thus, Misa has to hand prepare every dish so it is to the upmost quality and nutrition for Shelby's health. (insert picture)

With Shelby's health looking brighter than ever before, she could finally undergo all the surgeries to live a longer life. But this past Saturday, she became very ill and in critical condition, and was sent to The Gilbert Family Animal Clinic.

Her type 1 diabetes transformed into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis); a very serious and life threatening disease. If this wasn't enough, since Shelby's diabetes mutated into DKA, her uterus became infected because of the serious side-effects. The total medical expense for surgery and treatment will cost over $10,000.

Alone, Misa could not afford all of these medical expenses and had to rely on her family and friends. Currently Shelby is doing great as you can see in the photos below!

With the courage to seek help in such an emergency, she now needs to payback all of her family and friends. And with a simple donation you could bring joy and happiness to this family in more ways then one.The donation doesn't have to be much; it can be as little as $5.

We have all been in emergency situations where we've had to rely on the help of others. So please help Misa; If not for her then Shelby. This dog would've passed away if it wasn't for Misa's bravery and selfless spirit.

With the help from amazing people like you on GoFundMe.com, we can write-the-wrongs of Shelby's previous owner and bring hope to her new one!

 

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[Joshua Navarro]

Unconditional love and acceptance.

Isn’t that all we really need?

When you are down and out who’s there by your side?

When you don’t have a friend and need someone to be there for you, who’s there?

When you feel alone and everyone has left you who still sticks by your side?

Meet Shelby,

A kind soul who gives nothing but love, kindness, affection and loyalty.

She does all this and asks for nothing in return.

Unfortunately when life hasn’t been so great for Shelby.

About a year ago Shelby was found cold, starving, and left for dead in a canal.

She was taken to a county shelter and was scheduled to be PUT TO DEATH so that wouldn’t have to suffer anymore and be put of her misery.

Another dog just put to death, because no one is loving enough or kind enough to put the time and effort into nursing this poor dog back to health.

But as all hope seems lost for Shelby, a ray of light appears, Misa Nakayama steps up to become the foster mother of Shelby.

The warm friendly smile and big beating heart of Misa Nakayama puts a glimmer of hope back into Shelby’s eyes.

With a hope for a new future, life and love begins to pour back into Shelby’s heart.

Her tail wags with excitement.

Misa takes Shelby home and nurses her back to full health.

Over the past few months, Shelby has been given nothing but love and care.

Her heart is full again; flourishing with love and life.

She’s gained some healthy weight that is much needed for what is coming ahead.

But Were Not Through The Woods Just Yet.

Last Saturday Shelby was rushed to the vet for an Emergency Operation.

Shelby is a sick.

Multiple health issues.
Diabetic Ketoacidosis
Infected Uterus.
Tumor.
And still more.

Shelby’s life is at stake.

After all this life and love that has been poured into her, she is back on death’s doorway.

Her caring mother Misa, is in shambles.

With a broken heart, Misa continues to love Shelby with all her heart.

Using up all her money to pay for Shelby’s operations and even borrowing money from her friend.

Misa will do whatever it takes to save Shelby’s life.

But the bill is OVER $10,000.

How can you put a price on a life?

Shelby is in critical condition and already needs a blood transfusion that costs $400, which has no one has paid for yet.

At any moment Shelby could collapse.

But were not giving up on her. We’ve invested too much into this to simply let her go without a FIGHT.

Please, It is with a heavy heart that we ask for you to help save a life and give love.

With your donation of love, we can do this together.

It doesn’t matter how much you can donate; EVEN if its just prayer, it would help in Shelby’s battle for life.

Anything would help. Please donate!

Currently Shelby is being treated at the Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic
(Which does take donations via telephone)

Also, if you are unable to donate, please share this with any friend’s and family.

Thank you for all the love and support. God bless.

 

[raden1]

Is Shelby's Life Worth $10,000? Read Her Story and Decide for Yourself!


A beautiful dog was rescued from the brink of death recently. This dog is named Shelby.


Shelby was rescued from the Phoenix Canal. After almost dying in the canal, Shelby was about to be put down.


By the same people that rescued her.


Thanks to Misa, Shelby's new thoughtful and caring mother, Shelby got to live another day.

Shelby is suffering

You understand how precious life is. You understand how tragic it is to see an animal die in pain. You have to power to make sure that does not happen.

Misa took Shelby to the vet. The vet found out that Shelby had diabetes and a tumor.

Shelby Almost Dies

Shelby had to have emergency surgery and have her infected uterus removed. Shelby's diabetes then turned into diabetic ketoacidosis. Which simply means Shelby was about to die. But after a blood transfusion Shelby is Stable.

Misa's Sacrifice

You know how it feels to be willing to go to the ends of the earth for someone you love. Misa felt exactly this way about Shelby. Shelby has a very specific diet because of her complications. Misa labors for hours cooking Shelby gourmet food. She tirelessly researches supplements and foods so Shelby can LIVE, not just survive.

Misa and her friends have taken a great financial burden for Shelby. They did it for one reason.

Shelby is worth it. Shelby has earned the right to live a happy healthy life. She worked hard for her life.

I ask you, for one second to look at the picture below. And when you look at Shelby and see her brown-hazelnut eyes, her fearless posture and her warrior spirit...

you understand

Shelby has Fought and Suffered Enough!

Please, I personally need you to donate and fund Shelby. Misa and Shelby have gone through thick and thin together. But they cannot do it alone. We have all needed help one time or another. You have probably needed help at some point too. Please just try and remember the relief you felt when someone helped you.

You can help Misa and Shelby feel that same feeling.

If you want Misa, and everyone who took a chance on Shelby, to sleep peacefully tonight...

Please! Donate NOW!

A donation of $1 will transform into a saved life.

God Bless.


I made new copy in light of the new info, hope that is ok.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

She's such a beauty.

Below's my spin on it, if any part of it is good, feel free to use it, and if I happen to win please put that $100 towards Shelby's well-being too. And big props to Misa for selflessly helping this dog.

Life Desire Stronger Than Destiny

About a year ago, Shelby, the beauty from the photo was found dumped in a Phoenix Canal from where she was taken to our county shelter.

Unfortunately, her condition was so bad that she was about to be put to sleep.

But these warm, loving eyes, full of desire to live, met the eyes of a rescuer, and even though Shelby had nowhere to go, she was saved once again...

And perhaps good souls recognize each other...A woman with a big heart, named Misa, took it up on her to become Shelby's foster mom.

Little did she knew of what lies ahead of her...

After visiting the vet, it turned out Shelby has a whole list of health issues. From diabetes to tumor!

But one thing that really shows in times of trouble is love. And Misa has lots of it! She started hand preparing each and every meal for Shelby due to meet her specific needs. And then she went an extra step, and did what few would do...

She adopted Shelby, taking on the responsibility of her medical needs.

Finally, things seemed to go for the better. Shelby was doing great and gaining weight necessary for her to undergo important operations.

But then, on Saturday, she suddenly became very sick, and she was rushed for an emergency surgery to save her life. Her uterus had to be removed due to an infection. Surgery had cost in excess of $10000! Misa couldn't afford this, but without hesitation she borrowed money from multiple sides.

Shelby is one brave soul. She's been through so much rough times, and still goes through them, but she never lost her happiness and friendliness.

She just wants to live. To love. Like we all do.

And Misa is giving her all and more to make it happen.

Please help them beat the odds.

Please help Shelby's treatment at Gilbert Emergency Animal Clinic. (They take donations by telephone too.)

 

[RHL]

Good copy @BlackPebbles !

 

[Torty Emmanuel]

Congrats @BlackPebbles . Great job

 

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[Azure]

Dear dog owner,

if someone told you " thank you sir, you saved my dog, you are something ",

would it be worth at least X dollars ?

then come to our clinic to make your donation

thank you

Solid gold.

 

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