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Post FTE: Self Awareness, Belief System Shifts, Learning & Doing

Anything related to matters of the mind

Awoken

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It's been a few weeks since I went through the worst emotional experience of my life so far. Since then, I have relentlessly been digging into my mind to uncover the deficiencies that lay within. And it's working.

Background:
  • I graduated university 8 months ago and have been working a part time corporate job related to my degree. I've also been pursuing my first venture which is in the product inventing/branding Ecom FL road. I live at home with my family.
  • The FTE was caused by a deadly concoction of belief system deficiencies + the realisation that I had missed A LOT of learning regarding sourcing & importing. This meant I came close to failure with my first venture as I had not effectively considered unit economics, sourcing strategy, importing etc., which led to a day of immense emotional pain involving fear of failure (this was my FTE).

From this I knew I had to change something. My mind was not where it needed to be for me to achieve my goals. So for the last few weeks, I have been systematically uncovering deficient belief systems in my mind + addressing them. I sat at my laptop and listed everything wrong with my current circumstances. Everything. Then I'd focus on one thing and start digging. I'd listen to my emotions and investigate them, digging in deep to uncover the root causes. The core mindset/belief system deficiencies that have been plaguing me.

I'm writing this thread to summarise what I found for my own benefit. And to show you the reader how important self awareness is. You must understand how your own mind works. You must think how you think. If you possess deficient mindset/belief systems that do not align with your goals, you'll go nowhere. You can 10x your work ethic but if you're steering the wrong direction, you'll never get to your goal. Because ultimately, your mindset/belief systems dictate your choices & actions. Which determine whether your travelling in the right direction to reach your goals.

By listing my process of uncovering my mindset/belief system deficiencies, I'm cementing them for myself. But I'm also providing you the reader with an example for how to approach your own mindset deficiencies. I understand this in depth self awareness/analysis is alien to most people and seems crazy. But if this thread can help one reader address their deficient belief mindset/belief systems, then it has provided value to more than just me.

What I uncovered:
  • Immediately after my FTE, my commitment level went through the roof. I can't explain this other than what is discussed in TMF regarding the power of an FTE. For my FL process, I've gone from being pretty hard working to absolutely obsessed & relentless. I went from wanting to quit social media & porn to not touching it no questions asked. From wanting to be more productive to getting up at 5am every day + refining my schedule for maximum time efficiency. From clock watching until lunch time whilst I worked to forgetting to eat lunch because I lose track of time. From feeling guilty about not going drinking with my loser Sidewalking friends ever week to unapologetically not caring about appeasing conventional Sidewalkers and their distractions.
  • One of the first core mindset/belief system deficiencies I uncovered was I only weakly believed in the SL's ineptness + weakly believed in the FL's strength. I addressed this by returning to TMF & studying it hard. STUDYING not just reading; there's a difference.
  • Another was my mindset/belief system regarding the nature of FL road process to success. Due to my desperation to escape the status quo (hated soul draining part time corporate job + Sidewalking family causing massive friction), I had been banking on my first venture to be a big success that would immediately allow me to leave my job. I now realise this was a foolish plan of HOPE. FL road success mandates repeated Learning & Doing. This means you gain xp/skills/knowledge gradually over time, which increases your probabilities of wins over time. Not to mention that FL venture wins take time to grow. I was focused on the event of winning and not the process.
  • Next was the realisation I'd been heavily comparing myself to others. I'd been reading stories about successful entrepreneurs, which repeatedly would cause me to doubt my own process + if I should do xyz instead + if I should emulate their choices & actions. This is BS! You have to understand that you yourself are entirely unique: your genetics, your upbringing, your personality traits/talents, your mind, your life. You are totally different to those you read about, which means their choices & actions are irrelevant to you and your own process!
  • Once I got the above clear in mind, I focused on myself. I listed all my current circumstances in my life. I learnt about my natural personality traits/talents. I used a reputable personality quiz to help me. This sounds lame but it allowed me to transform from only vaguely understanding my mind to strong self awareness of my natural strengths and weaknesses (check the Atomic Habits website for links to reputable personality quizzes if you want to do this yourself).
  • The next step was to definitively determine what my goals are. I hadn't done this previously, which seems totally stupid now. I'd just thought knowing 'I want to succeed, I want to do well' was enough. Or I'd copied the goals of others who were successful. Obviously this was way to vague + copying goals is stupid as they aren't genuine to me. True goals enable you to determine what your weekly/daily choices & actions need to be in order for goal progression.
  • So I sat and thought about this a lot. What do I want from life? In 40 years time, what would I regret doing or not doing? The honest answer was always true happiness for me and my family. So I kept going (GOAL BACKWARDISATION!). How do I reach this goal? My happiness is achieved by Wealth = time & financial freedom. And Wealth? Wealth is achieved by getting rich. And getting rich is achieved by...
  • So my goal is to get rich enough to provide me with Wealth as fast as possible. I grew up poor with my single Mam which has made me naturally frugal & minimalistic. So to me £1mill would probably be enough to provide me time freedom & a minimalistic lifestyle with a Money System. And £5-10mill would probably be enough to give me total financial freedom = total Wealth (as the only things I can think I would spend money on are my family!).
  • I used my newfound self awareness to compare the different roads for me to get rich. I'm not physically talented. I'm highly introverted with low sociability so fame doesn't align with my natural strengths. Whilst I possess a growth mindset and recognise I can improve my weaknesses, it seems most logical to pursue roads that align best with my natural strengths/talents to maximise success probabilities. If you were 5'6 you COULD pursue basketball and get good at it... but you'd be at an inherent disadvantage compared to the tall basketballers, which reduces your probabilities of being exceptional among them.
  • Because of my TMF studying, I now definitively believe the SL cannot get you rich fast. Here in the UK, the 'best' jobs have salaries in the high 5 figure or low 6 figures at maximum, and these require many years of hard focused work & formal education to reach. This means the best way I know right now for me to get rich as fast as possible is by pursuing a FL road.
  • So I compared different FL roads I know exist + assessed which would best utilise my natural strengths. The 2 best matches were product inventing/branding Ecom & SaaS. Through logic, I determined committing to product inventing/branding Ecom was the better choice as I already have some xp here with my current venture, as compared to having zero with coding/software. Also it is what I've always felt most naturally drawn to pursue (not fully sure why, suppose it's a 'gut feeling').

This leads to right now:
  • I'm strengthening my belief in the product inventing/branding Ecom road to prevent the lingering doubts I've had previously. I'm gathering evidence by studying rags to riches stories of people who have succeeded with this = evidence of FL road viability.
  • By accepting the true nature of FL road process & respecting the probabilities involved, I realise I need to change my approach. I can't rely on HOPING my first venture will be an instant win to let me escape my status quo & fully pursue my FL road. I need to be prepared for the long haul. Process = the long roadtrip to success.
  • I've created a habit tracker to drive my daily habits. So far this has been great for forcing me to be accountable for succeeding or failing to fulfil a habit.
  • I realise I need to move out of my family home ASAP to escape the headwind of my family. They just don't get what I'm doing at all. My Mam questions why I bother getting up at 5am, why I'm 'sat at my laptop all day', why I'm not bothered about having a gf or hanging out with my loser friends anymore, why I'm 'odd'. F*ck that. I love my family but they're total Sidewalkers. To achieve my goals I've got to put some distance between me and them.
  • So, I'm now searching for a job that I can do compatibly alongside my FL road in order to cover my living expenses of moving out + fund my FL ventures. I've flipflopped about my current corporate job but now I realise it needs to go. My natural introversion means the high socialising & stress in the job is completely exhausting for me. It's a headwind. I'm searching for jobs now and not sure what I'll go with. I'm prepared to do anything as long as it enables me to simultaneously pursue my FL road. I don't care if it's not a 'good career'. I'll not be a wage slave forever.
  • And the last focus right now is finding new friends. For too long I've felt uneasy about detaching myself from those in my life who didn't align with my goals. F*ck that. If ditching them means I win and don't end up on my death bed with regrets then I'm ditching them. Gonna search for entrepreneurial groups in my area to see if I can meet others that align with my goals.

My first venture that almost crashed still has potential so once I've addressed the above, I'll be Learning what I need to in order to get that back on track. I still believe this product has great potential, but I know I need to turn away from the event-based thinking of getting it to work right now + be prepared for a longer process.

Plan to update this with my progress.
 
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heavy_industry

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This inner struggle reminds me of the insanity I went through during my early 20s - all the bullshit beliefs that I learned and had to unlearn.

As far as I can understand, your biggest problem right now is the overwhelming amount of information that gets thrown at you from all directions.

Here is what I would advise my former self:

1. Stop overthinking because you will not be able to figure out the world at this age.

2. Stop trying to implement the bullshit habits you get recommended by random YouTubers. They are in the entertainment niche. YouTube entrepreneurship advice vs real entrepreneurship are two entirely different worlds.

3. Instead of doing #1 and #2, pick up a sport - any sport - and train as hard as you can. Nothing in this world is going to discipline and develop your mind as well as physical exercise.

4. The most important traits you need to develop in your early 20s are:
  • Discipline and organizational skills.
  • Executive skills - getting the F*cking tasks DONE.
  • Building a very high-value skillset - shit that is both difficult to learn AND is valuable for the economy.
  • Communication skills: do not neglect this or you will pay dearly for it. You are not an introvert - you just haven't developed yet in this area.

Let's stop thinking and let's get back to work.
 

Awoken

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This inner struggle reminds me of the insanity I went through during my early 20s - all the bullshit beliefs that I learned and had to unlearn.

As far as I can understand, your biggest problem right now is the overwhelming amount of information that gets thrown at you from all directions.

Here is what I would advise my former self:

1. Stop overthinking because you will not be able to figure out the world at this age.

2. Stop trying to implement the bullshit habits you get recommended by random YouTubers. They are in the entertainment niche. YouTube entrepreneurship advice vs real entrepreneurship are two entirely different worlds.

3. Instead of doing #1 and #2, pick up a sport - any sport - and train as hard as you can. Nothing in this world is going to discipline and develop your mind as well as physical exercise.

4. The most important traits you need to develop in your early 20s are:
  • Discipline and organizational skills.
  • Executive skills - getting the F*cking tasks DONE.
  • Building a very high-value skillset - shit that is both difficult to learn AND is valuable for the economy.
  • Communication skills: do not neglect this or you will pay dearly for it. You are not an introvert - you just haven't developed yet in this area.

Let's stop thinking and let's get back to work.
Appreciate the advice. Think some of it applies to me and some not. Like I’ve already gone from being overweight to the best shape of my life in these 8 months. And my discipline & organisation is through the roof.

I’m actually quite good at ‘acting’ when it comes to communicating with others. I change how I act depending on the person. And it works a lot of the time. But socialising too much has always been an energy drain for me. I’ve improved my communication skills massively over the years, but I think what I’m saying now is I’m accepting my natural traits + using them to forge my own unique path. Not copying the path of someone with totally different traits.

Blocking out the BS noise is something I get. Self awareness is great for that as I can see what applies to me and what doesn’t. Like how I’m responding to your advice right now.

The overthinking is my main issue. That’s why I’m trying to simplify it in my mind. Get a job now and work on my FL road alongside it, rather than making my whole world depend on this one thing.

Really nice to reflect on that. Cheers
 

Awoken

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Ok so since writing this earlier I've stepped back and made a critical realisation.

I've made so much mental progress about becoming the best version of myself so I can maximise my success potential. And this is great. I've genuinely never been this hard working & disciplined in my whole life. I felt great starting this thread initially and super motivated. But something was still nagging at me.

So I started asking myself what it was. And then I started circling round the same old things I've already gone over in my head before multiple times.

Instead of letting this happen again, I broke the cycle. I made it simpler and clearer. I asked myself what the real important things were in my life and what's stopping me getting them. And the truth has hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I don't TRULY believe in myself. I don't believe in my ability to get rich.

This is a very sad realisation for me. But I'm glad I've finally become self aware about this. And it explains everything. It explains why I keep going round the same cycle of: spending time convincing myself that the FL is great and the best way of life so I feel super motivated -> taking action towards the goal -> hitting a challenge/problem which causes my self belief to crumble -> repeat.

If I truly believed in myself, I wouldn't have to repeatedly convince myself like this. I wouldn't have to repeatedly convince myself of the reasons why I should want to get rich. Or spend time deciding on the 'perfect' FL road for me. Or convince myself that the FL road I've chosen is viable even though there's countless stories of others proving anybody can do it.

I wouldn't dwell on the sacrifices I'm making now like missing out time with family, because I'd fully believe that everything I'm doing & sacrificing would eventually be worth it. There would be no doubt in my mind that what I am doing is worthwhile.

As Unscripted says, I am essentially a 'Competent Self-Destructor' because my self belief is deficient. Which is why this repeating cycle of doubts & need for convincing myself is happening.

Now, I need to determine what to do. Because if I don't address this, I might as well stop now and be as happy as I can in the Slowlane.
 
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