Late = Embarrassing / On time = Better / Early = Best

[TwoSteps]

The itinerary for the seminar said - 'Arrive for 9am - Starting at 9.30am'

I arrived at 9.20.

Everyone was already sat around the meeting table waiting for.... me.

About 7 attendees and 2 hosts.

7 people who came to find out about selling their multi-million £ turnover businesses. Guys that have been grafting for years.

I only attended because I knew the host from a networking event and I have a small business I want to offload. (I inherited it, kept it running and now it's a ball & chain). Turnover just shy of 6 figures.

I was 'late' and among people far more successful than me (to date).

The caliber of the people didn't really bother me. My time-keeping did.

I know if I'd arrived at 9, or before, it would have made all the difference. An opportunity to introduce myself & chat etc. Who knows what could have happened.

Having to walk into a room with everyone already seated, waiting to get things started. That was embarrassing. I didn't even bother trying to make excuses. Nobody would have cared. I just apologized, sat down and kept quiet.

Not only was it embarrassing, it was an opportunity completely wasted.

I wouldn't recommend it. In fact, if you have to be ANYWHERE, go to bed early, get up early, leave with plenty of time to spare and get there EARLY!!

 

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[Mikkel]

The cool this about this stories is that you won't let it happen again. Although it was an opportunity wasted, you will hopefully become a better person from this. People make mistakes, unsuccessful people make the same mistakes, successful people will learn from there mistakes and improve from them.

Glad you had the social intelligence to pick up on this.

 

[devine]

When I was taking language classes, being 10 seconds late meant no classes.
One day I was late for exactly 10 seconds and it was a life changing experience which I'm glad I learned earlier than too late.

 

[jsk29]

Some notes I took from Dan Kennedy's NO B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs

"Being punctual gives you the right - the positioning - to expect and demand that others treat your time with utmost respect. You cannot reasonably hope to have others treat your time with respect if you show little or no respect for theirs. So if you are not punctual, you have no leverage, no moral authority. But the punctual person gains that advantage over staff, associates, vendors, clients, everybody."

"There is a link between respect for others' time and respect for others' opinions, property, rights, agreements, and contracts. A personal reveals a great deal about himself by his punctuality or lack of punctuality. So, as a general rule of thumb, I use this as a means of determining whether or not I want to do business with someone. ... People who can't be punctual can't be trusted."

"Some people with poor self-images and needy egos are deliberately late as a means of trying to be and seem important. Their intended message is: I can keep you waiting because I'm more important than you are. But the message they actually deliver, to those perceptive enough to read behind the lines, is: I don't have much self respect, so I'm desperately trying to make myself feel more like a big shot by stealing your time and getting away with it. Pathetic. And a big, fat warning signal."

@TwoSteps Not aiming the quotes at you btw! Just think they're relevant to the topic.

 

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[townhaus]

I know if I'd arrived at 9, or before, it would have made all the difference. An opportunity to introduce myself & chat etc. Who knows what could have happened.

This reminds me of when I changed high schools - i arrived 2 years in, after most of the other kids had already established friendships and formed groups. People try and introduce themselves to you in the first week or so, but it's superficial. Most friendships had already been established and it's was harder to become part of any group when you are unfamiliar to them.

Another similar time was at university, going from 1st to 2nd year. Instead of getting to know the new 1st years in the first week or so (shared halls), I spend most of my time out with my friends i already knew from last year. After that, i never really made friends with any of the new 1st years.

People like to stick to whats familiar. I think in these kinds of situations (meetups, new jobs, school etc) it's important to try and make friends early on, or you will continue to viewed as sort of an outsider.

 

[TwoSteps]

"Being punctual gives you the right - the positioning - to expect and demand that others treat your time with utmost respect. You cannot reasonably hope to have others treat your time with respect if you show little or no respect for theirs. So if you are not punctual, you have no leverage, no moral authority. But the punctual person gains that advantage over staff, associates, vendors, clients, everybody."

"There is a link between respect for others' time and respect for others' opinions, property, rights, agreements, and contracts. A person reveals a great deal about himself by his punctuality or lack of punctuality. So, as a general rule of thumb, I use this as a means of determining whether or not I want to do business with someone. ... People who can't be punctual can't be trusted."

There is no doubt tardiness earns zero respect.

My wonderful girlfriend makes us late for everything and I'm starting to consider it normal - to my detriment.

 

[townhaus]

There is no doubt tardiness earns zero respect.

My wonderful girlfriend makes us late for everything and I'm starting to consider it normal - to my detriment.

My mother was 5 minutes late for EVERYTHING.

Doctors appointment at 2:00? She'd be walking in the door at 2:05.

I seem to have the same habit (i usually aim for 2 minutes early, but rarely care if i end up late).

Some notes I took from Dan Kennedy's NO B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs

"Being punctual gives you the right - the positioning - to expect and demand that others treat your time with utmost respect. You cannot reasonably hope to have others treat your time with respect if you show little or no respect for theirs. So if you are not punctual, you have no leverage, no moral authority. But the punctual person gains that advantage over staff, associates, vendors, clients, everybody."

"There is a link between respect for others' time and respect for others' opinions, property, rights, agreements, and contracts. A personal reveals a great deal about himself by his punctuality or lack of punctuality. So, as a general rule of thumb, I use this as a means of determining whether or not I want to do business with someone. ... People who can't be punctual can't be trusted."

"Some people with poor self-images and needy egos are deliberately late as a means of trying to be and seem important. Their intended message is: I can keep you waiting because I'm more important than you are. But the message they actually deliver, to those perceptive enough to read behind the lines, is: I don't have much self respect, so I'm desperately trying to make myself feel more like a big shot by stealing your time and getting away with it. Pathetic. And a big, fat warning signal."

@TwoSteps Not aiming the quotes at you btw! Just think they're relevant to the topic.

I think Dan Kennedy's opinion is a bit extreme, but his points make sense. Early is better than late, you can't deny that. Definitely something I will start to think about.

 

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[Andy Black]

I don't think Dan Kennedy's thinking is extreme.

I had a call with a client at 10pm one Monday evening. We arranged another 10 minute call the same time the next Monday.

I sat on my thumb till 10:30pm then rang him to ask if he was still having the call. He said "I didn't think there was anything to talk about this week."

Thanks mate - I didn't have anything better to do at 10pm on a Monday evening.

He's now on my list of clients to fire at the earliest opportunity.






Dan Sullivan says there's 4 things that make you referrable:

1) You say please and thank you. (Grandma was right.)

2) You show up when you say you will. (Being 5 minutes late loses 50% of your credibility.)

3) You do what you say you will. (Or keep them informed when things slip.)

4) You're competent.

 

[Andy Black]

The itinerary for the seminar said - 'Arrive for 9am - Starting at 9.30am'

I arrived at 9.20.

Everyone was already sat around the meeting table waiting for.... me.

About 7 attendees and 2 hosts.

7 people who came to find out about selling their multi-million £ turnover businesses. Guys that have been grafting for years.

I only attended because I knew the host from a networking event and I have a small business I want to offload. (I inherited it, kept it running and now it's a ball & chain). Turnover just shy of 6 figures.

I was 'late' and among people far more successful than me (to date).

The caliber of the people didn't really bother me. My time-keeping did.

I know if I'd arrived at 9, or before, it would have made all the difference. An opportunity to introduce myself & chat etc. Who knows what could have happened.

Having to walk into a room with everyone already seated, waiting to get things started. That was embarrassing. I didn't even bother trying to make excuses. Nobody would have cared. I just apologized, sat down and kept quiet.

Not only was it embarrassing, it was an opportunity completely wasted.

I wouldn't recommend it. In fact, if you have to be ANYWHERE, go to bed early, get up early, leave with plenty of time to spare and get there EARLY!!

By the way...

If it said "Arrive for 9am - Starting at 9:30am" without giving reasons why I need to be 30 minutes early, then I'd also arrive at 9:20am.

Maybe you needed to register or something beforehand? In which case, fair enough. Otherwise, I've come for the course/event, not the forced networking or pre-amble before-hand. I'll chat to people at coffee or afterwards if I want to thank you.


I don't think they were waiting for you. They were waiting to start at 9:30am. Were they chatting to each other, or waiting patiently for you?

Remember: the most popular radio station is WiiFM - What's In It For Me?

It's not about you.


If I'm late for a course I've paid to go on, then it's my prerogative - so long as I don't disrupt the class or the instructor. I don't even apologise... I just wave at the room and quietly take a seat.

I also don't think being too early is a good thing. Do you not have better things to do than sit waiting in reception for 30 minutes?


FWIW... I think you're being harder on yourself than you should be.




TL;DR

Missed opportunity maybe, but not embarrassing.