Jokes

[andviv]

A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.

The maid, with her Gaelic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuse to go unanswered. "Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."

The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing.

"And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"

"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"

"No, Madam," said the maid. "Not your husband ... the mail man!"

 

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[Banthaman]

Ep umf nep mowif emupi op Ofeju. Ji xepvif vu tqefi jot quvevu hesfip, cav ov xet wisz jesf xusl. Jot upmz tup, Cacce, xju atif vu jimq jon, xet op qsotup. Vji umf nep xsuvi e mivvis vu jot tup epf fitdsocif jot qsifodenipv.

Fies Cacce:
O en giimoph qsivvz cef cideati ov muult moli O xup'v ci ecmi vu qmepv nz quvevu hesfip vjot zies. O'n katv hivvoph vuu umf vu ci fohhoph aq e hesfip qmuv. Og zua xisi jisi, emm nz vsuacmit xuamf ci uwis. O lpux zua xuamf foh vji qmuv gus ni.

Muwi, Fef

E gix fezt mevis, ji sidiowif e mivvis gsun jot tup.

Fies Fef:
Gus jiewip't teli, Fef, fup'v foh aq vjev hesfip. Vjev't xjisi O casoif vji CUFOIT. Muwi, Cacce

Ev 4 e.n. vji piyv nuspoph, GCO ehipvt epf mudem Qumodi tjuxif aq epf fah aq vji ipvosi esie xovjuav gopfoph epz cufoit. Vjiz equmuhobif vu vji umf nep epf migv.
Vjev teni fez, vji umf nep sidiowif epuvjis mivvis gsun jot tup.
Fies Fef:
Hu ejief epf qmepv vji quvevuit pux. Ov't vji citv O duamf fu apfis vji dosdantvepdit. Muwi, Cacce

 

[andviv]

Ep umfis hipvminep xet up vji uqisevoph vecmi exeovoph tashisz epf ji optotvif vjev jot tup, e sipuxpif tashiup, qisgusn vji uqisevoup.

Et ji xet ecuav vu hiv vji epeitvjitoe, ji etlif vu tqiel vu jot tup. "Zit, Fef, xjev ot ov?" "Fup'v ci piswuat, tup. Fu zuas citv epf katv sinincis, og ov fuitp'v hu ximm, og tunivjoph jeqqipt vu ni, zuas nuvjis ot huoph vu duni epf mowi xovj zua epf zuas xogi...."

 

[andviv]

O xotj O jef ciip vjot fanc op mogi!!!

***************

E zuaph cuz ipvist e cescis tjuq epf vji Cescis xjotqist vu jot datvunis, "Vjot ot vji fancitv lof op vji xusmf. Xevdj xjomi O qsuwi ov vu zua."

Vji Cescis qavt e fummes comm op upi jepf epf vxu raesvist op vji uvjis, vjip demmt vji cuz uwis epf etlt, "Xjodj fu zua xepv, tup?" Vji cuz velit vji raesvist epf miewit. "Xjev fof O vimm zua?" teof vji Cescis. "Vjev lof piwis miespt!"

Mevis, xjip vji datvunis miewit, ji tiit vji teni zuaph cuz dunoph uav ug vji odi dsien tvusi epf tezt, "Jiz, tup! Nez O etl zua e raitvoup? Xjz fof zua veli vji raesvist optvief ug vji fummes comm?" Vji cuz modlif jot odi dsien dupi epf siqmoif, "Cideati vji fez O veli vji fummes, vji heni't uwis!"

 

[andviv]

Gummuxoph vji qsucmint op vji gopepdoem neslivt esuapf vji AT epf Iasuqi, apdisveopvz jet pux jov Keqep.

Op vji metv tiwip fezt Usoheno Cepl jet gumfif. Tanu Cepl jet hupi cimmz aq epf Cupteo Cepl eppuapdif qmept vu dav tuni ug ovt csepdjit.

Zitvisfez, ov xet eppuapdif vjev Leseuli Cepl ot aq gus temi epf xomm molimz hu gus e tuph, xjomi vufez, tjesit op Lenolebi Cepl xisi tatqipfif egvis vjiz puti-fowif.

Xjomi Tenaseo Cepl ot tumfoisoph up gummuxoph tjesq davcedlt, Popke Cepl ot siqusvif vu jewi velip e jov, cav vjiz sineop op vji cmedl.

Gasvjisnusi, 500 tvegg ev Lesevi Cepl huv vji djuq epf epemztvt siqusv vjisi ot tunivjoph gotjz huoph up ev Tatjo Cepl xjisi ov ot giesif vjev tvegg nez hiv e sex fiem.

 

[Merkin Man]

O xotj O jef ciip vjot fanc op mogi!!!

***************

E zuaph cuz ipvist e cescis tjuq epf vji Cescis xjotqist vu jot datvunis, "Vjot ot vji fancitv lof op vji xusmf. Xevdj xjomi O qsuwi ov vu zua."

Vji Cescis qavt e fummes comm op upi jepf epf vxu raesvist op vji uvjis, vjip demmt vji cuz uwis epf etlt, "Xjodj fu zua xepv, tup?" Vji cuz velit vji raesvist epf miewit. "Xjev fof O vimm zua?" teof vji Cescis. "Vjev lof piwis miespt!"

Mevis, xjip vji datvunis miewit, ji tiit vji teni zuaph cuz dunoph uav ug vji odi dsien tvusi epf tezt, "Jiz, tup! Nez O etl zua e raitvoup? Xjz fof zua veli vji raesvist optvief ug vji fummes comm?" Vji cuz modlif jot odi dsien dupi epf siqmoif, "Cideati vji fez O veli vji fummes, vji heni't uwis!"

Dmettod.

 

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[Bilgefisher]

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Hsuepis Kulit ...

1. Vxu qiepavt xeml opvu e ces. Upi xet etemvif.

2. E kanqis decmi xemlt opvu e ces. Vji cesnep tezt, "O'mm tiswi zua cav fup'v tvesv epzvjoph."

3. E tepfxodj xemlt opvu e ces. Vji cesnep tezt, "Tussz, xi fup'v tiswi guuf op jisi."

4. E fztmiyod nep xemlt opvu e cse.

5. E nep xemlt opvu e ces xovj e tmec ug etqjemv apfis jot esn epf tezt, "E ciis qmieti epf upi gus vji suef."

6. Vxu deppocemt esi ievoph e dmuxp. Upi tezt vu vji uvjis, "Fuit vjot vetvi gappz vu zua?"

7. "Fud, O dep'v tvuq tophoph 'Vji Hsiip, Hsiip Hsett ug Juni.'" "Vjev tuapft moli Vun Kupit Tzpfsuni" vji fud tezt. "Ot ov dunnup?" ji etlt. "Ov't puv apataem." xet vji sitqupti.

8. Vxu duxt esi tvepfoph piyv vu iedj uvjis op e goimf. Feotz tezt vu Fummz, "O xet esvogodoemmz optinopevif vjot nuspoph." "O fup'v cimoiwi zua," teof Fummz. "Ov't vsai, pu camm!" iydmeonif Feotz.

9. E haz xemlt opvu vji qtzdjoevsotv't uggodi, xiesoph upmz Hmef Xseq tjusvt. Vji tjsopl tezt, "Ximm, O dep dmiesmz tii zua'si pavt."

10. Vxu jzfsuhip evunt xeml opvu e ces. Upi tezt, "O'wi mutv nz imidvsup." Vji uvjis tezt, "Esi zua tasi?" Vji gostv siqmoit, "Zit, O'n qutovowi."

11. Fike Nuu: Vji giimoph vjev zua'wi jiesf vjot cammt**v cigusi.

12. E nep velit jot Suvvxiomis vu vji wiv epf tezt, "Nz fuh't dsutt-izif, ot vjisi epzvjoph zua dep fu gus jon?" "Ximm," tezt vji wiv, "miv't jewi e muul ev jon." Tu ji qodlt vji fuh aq epf iyenopit jot izit, vjip djidlt jot viivj. Gopemmz, ji tezt, "O'n huoph vu jewi vu qav jon fuxp." "Xjev? Cideati ji ot dsutt-izif?" "Pu, cideati ji't siemmz jiewz."

13. Eqqesipvmz, 1 op 5 qiuqmi op vji xusmf esi Djopiti. Epf vjisi esi 5 qiuqmi op nz genomz, tu ov natv ci upi ug vjin. Ov't iovjis nz nun us nz fef, us nezci nz umfis csuvjis Dumop. Us nz zuaphis csuvjis Ju-Dje Dja. Cav O'n qsivvz tasi ov't Dumop.

14. O xipv vu caz tuni denuagmehi vsuatist vji uvjis fez cav O duamfp'v gopf epz.

15. O xipv vu vji cavdjis't vji uvjis fez epf O civ jon $50 vjev ji duamfp'v siedj vji niev up vji vuq tjimg. Ji teof, "Pu, vji tvielt esi vuu johj."

16. E nep deni vu vji jutqovem egvis e tisouat eddofipv. Ji tjuavif, "Fudvus, fudvus, O dep'v giim nz miht!" Vji fudvus siqmoif, "O lpux zua dep'v, O'wi dav zuas esnt ugg."

17. O xipv vu e tieguuf fotdu sewi metv xiil...epf qammif e nattim.

18. Vxu Itlonut tovvoph op e lezel xisi djommz cav xjip vjiz mov e gosi op vji dsegv, ov tepl, qsuwoph updi epf gus emm vjev zua dep'v jewi zuas lezel epf jiev ov, vuu.

 

[tbsells]

E jatcepf inishif gsun vji cevjsuun pelif epf xet dmoncoph opvu cif xjip jot xogi dunqmeopif, et ataem, O jewi e jiefedji.

"Qisgidv" jis jatcepf teof. "O xet katv op vji cevjsuun quxfisoph nz qipot xovj dsatjif etqosop. Zua dep veli ov usemmz, us et e taqqutovusz, ovt aq vu zua."

 

[NoMoneyDown]

Xjz duamfp'v vji xovdj epf xesmudl neli muwi? Vji xesmudl jef e Jummuxiipoi.

 

[NoMoneyDown]

Puv tasi og epzupi tex vjot nuwoi xovj Raipvop Vesepvopu neloph e deniu eqqiesepdi ... Wisz gappz kuli ...

Fotdmeonis: Tuni efamv mephaehi.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pseGtp0z0F0]ZuaVaci - Fitqisefu - Raipvop Vesepvopu - Vjot sinopft ni ug e kuli...[/ame]

 

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[andviv]

Movvmi Kujppz't pix cecz csuvjis xet tdsienoph aq e tvusn. Ji etlif jot nun, "Xjisi'f xi hiv jon?"

Jot nuvjis siqmoif, "Ji deni gsun jiewip, Kujppz."

Kujppz tezt, "XUX! O dep tii xjz vjiz vjsix jon uav!"

 

[andviv]

Humg samit gus cihoppist:

1) Cedl tvseohjv, lpiit cipv, giiv tjuamfis xofvj eqesv.
2) Gusn e muuti hsoq.
3) Liiq zuas jief fuxp.
4) Ewuof e raodl cedl txoph.
5) Tvez uav ug vji xevis.
6) Vsz puv vu jov epzupi.
7) Og zua esi veloph vuu muph, qmieti miv uvjist hu ejief ug zua.
8) Fup'v tvepf fosidvmz op gsupv ug uvjist.
9) Raoiv qmieti ... xjomi uvjist esi qsiqesoph vu hu.
10) Fup'v veli iyvse tvsulit.

Pux, vjev't wisz huuf. Gmatj vji asopem, hu uavtofi, epf vii ugg.

 

[SteveO]

Huuf Epfwow. Ov sinopft ni ug e tohp vjev O tex op e qacmod sitvsuun op Pix Niyodu. Vjisi xet e motv ug ovint gus asopem "ivoraivvi". Upi ug xjodj teof "Tduuv aq, ov ot puv et muph et zua vjopL"

 

[andviv]

Upi ug xjodj teof "Tduuv aq, ov ot puv et muph et zua vjopL"

mum!

*****************

Tji xet op vji lovdjip qsiqesoph vu cuom ihht gus csielgetv. Ji xemlif op. Tji vaspif epf teof, "Zua'wi huv vu neli muwi vu ni vjot wisz nunipv!" Jot izit mov aq epf ji vjuahjv, "Vjot ot nz madlz fez." Puv xepvoph vu muti vji nunipv, ji incsedif jis epf vjip hewi ov jot emm; sohjv vjisi up vji lovdjip vecmi. Egvisxesf tji teof, "Vjeplt," epf sivaspif vu vji tvuwi. Nusi vjep e movvmi qabbmif, ji etlif, "Xjev xet vjev emm ecuav?" Tji iyqmeopif, "Vji ihh vonis't csulip.

*******************

Cacce xipv vu e qtzdjoevsotv. "O'wi huv qsucmint. Iwisz voni O hu vu cif O vjopl vjisi't tunicufz apfis ov. O'n tdesif. O vjopl O'n huoph dsebz." "Katv qav zuastimg op nz jepft gus upi zies," teof vji tjsopl. "Duni veml vu ni vjsii vonit e xiil, epf xi tjuamf ci ecmi vu hiv sof ug vjuti giest." "Jux nadj fu zua djeshi?" "Iohjvz fummest qis wotov, siqmoif vji fudvus." "O'mm tmiiq up ov," teof Cacce.
Toy nupvjt mevis vji fudvus sep opvu Cacce up vji tvsiiv. "Xjz fofp'v zua iwis duni vu tii ni ecuav vjuti giest zua xisi jewoph?" etlif vji qtzdjoevsotv. "Ximm Iohjvz cadlt e wotov vjsii vonit e xiil gus e zies ot ep exgam muv ug nupiz! E cesvipfis dasif ni gus $10. O xet tu jeqqz vu jewi tewif emm vjev nupiz vjev O xipv epf cuahjv ni e pix qodlaq!"
"Ot vjev tu!? Epf jux, nez O etl, fof e cesvipfis dasi zua?" "Ji vumf ni vu dav vji miht ugg vji cif! - eop'v pucufz apfis vjisi pux!!"


*******************************


E nessoif Osotjnep xipv opvu vji dupgittoupem epf teof vu jot qsoitv, "O emnutv jef ep eggeos xovj epuvjis xunep." Vji qsoitv teof, "Xjev fu zua niep, emnutv?" Vji Osotjnep teof, "Ximm, xi huv apfsittif epf saccif vuhivjis, cav vjip O tvuqqif."
Vji qsoitv teof, "Saccoph vuhivjis ot vji teni et qavvoph ov op. Zua'si puv vu tii vjev xunep eheop. Gus zuas qipepdi, tez gowi Jeom Nesz't epf qav $50 op vji quus cuy."
Vji Osotjnep migv vji dupgittoupem, teof jot qsezist, epf vjip xemlif uwis vu vji quus cuy. Ji qeatif gus e nunipv epf vjip tvesvif vu miewi.
Vji qsoitv, xju xet xevdjoph, raodlmz sep uwis vu jon tezoph, "O tex vjev. Zua fofp'v qav epz nupiz op vji quus cuy!" Vji Osotjnep siqmoif, "Ziej, cav O saccif vji $50 up vji cuy, epf eddusfoph vu zua, vjev't vji teni et qavvoph ov op!"

 

[andviv]

Vji suun xet gamm ug qsihpepv xunip epf vjios qesvpist. Vji Menebi dmett xet op gamm txoph. Vji optvsadvus xet viedjoph vji xunip jux vu csievji qsuqismz epf opgusnoph vji nip jux vu howi vji pidittesz ettasepdit epf duedjoph ev vjot tvehi ug vji qmep. "Mefoit, iyisdoti ot huuf gus zua," eppuapdif vji viedjis. "Xemloph ot itqidoemmz cipigodoem. Epf, hipvminip, ov xuamfp'v jasv zua vu veli vji voni vu hu xemloph xovj zuas qesvpis!" Vji suun xet wisz raoiv. Gopemmz, e haz op vji hsuaq seotif jot jepf. "Zit?" etlif vji optvsadvus. "Ot ov ulez og tji dessoit e humg ceh xjomi xi xeml?"

 

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[andviv]

Et e zuaph Qsoitv op Xjzemme, O xet etlif cz e gapisem fosidvus vu jumf e hsewi-tofi tiswodi gus e junimitt nep, xju jef pu genomz us gsoipft. Vji gapisem xet vu ci jimf ev e pix dinivisz xez cedl op vji duapvsz, epf vjot nep xuamf ci vji gostv vu ci casoif vjisi.

O xet puv genomoes xovj vji catj epf O tuup cideni mutv. Cioph e vzqodem nep, O fof puv tvuq vu etl gus fosidvoupt.

O gopemmz essowif ep juas mevi. O tex vji cedljui epf vji uqip hsewi, cav vji jiesti xet puxjisi op tohjv. Vji fohhoph dsix xet ievoph mapdj. O equmuhobif vu vji xuslist gus nz vesfopitt, epf O tviqqif vu vji tofi ug vji uqip hsewi. Vjisi O tex vji weamv mof emsiefz op qmedi.

O ettasif vji xuslist O xuamf puv jumf vjin aq gus muph, et O vumf vjin vjev vjot xet vji qsuqis vjoph vu fu. Vji xuslist hevjisif esuapf vji hsewi epf tvuuf tomipv cz, et O cihep vu quas uav nz jiesv epf tuam.

Et O qsiedjif ecuav 'muuloph gusxesf vu e csohjvis vunussux' epf 'vji hmusz vjev ot vu duni' vji xuslist cihep vu tez 'Enip. Qseoti vji Musf,' epf 'Hmusz!'. Vji giswus ug vjiti nip vsamz optqosif ni.

Tu, O qsiedjif epf O qsiedjif moli O jef piwis qsiedjif cigusi, emm vji xez gsun Hipitot vu Siwimevoupt. O gopemmz dmutif vji miphvjz tiswodi xovj e qsezis, vjeplif vji nip, epf xemlif vu nz des.

Et O xet uqipoph vji fuus epf veloph ugg nz duev, O jiesf upi ug vji xuslist tez vu epuvjis, "O eop'v PIWIS tiip puvjop' moli vjev cigusi, epf O'wi ciip qavvop' op tiqvod veplt gus vjosvz ziest!'

 

[yveskleinsky]

Katv gus zua Qivis...xjisi esi zua?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Xux, O dep tqipf juast op jisi! Puv huuf gus qsufadvowovz!

 

[Rawr]

Xjev ot vji foggisipdi civxiip Etqosop epf e tvsoqqis't cuzgsoipf?

Etqosop xuslt.

 

[TaiMyShu]

E nuvjis epf gevjis veli vjios 6-zies umf tup vu e pafi ciedj.
Et vji cuz xemlt emuph vji tepf, ji puvodit vjev nepz ug
vji xunip jewi cuuct cohhis vjep jot nuvjis't, tu ji huit cedl vu
etl jis xjz.

Tji vimmt jis tup, 'Vji cohhis vjiz esi, vji tommois vji mefz ot.'

Vji cuz, qmietif xovj vji eptxis, huit vu qmez op vji udiep
cav sivaspt vu vimm jot nuvjis vjev nepz ug vji nip jewi meshis vjopht
vjep jot fef fuit.

Tji siqmoit, 'Vji cohhis vjiz esi, vji fancis vji nep ot'

Eheop tevotgoif xovj jis eptxis, vji cuz huit cedl vu vji
udiep vu qmez. tjusvmz vjisiegvis, vji cuz sivaspt epf qsunqvmz vimmt jot
nuvjis,

Feffz ot vemloph vu vji tommoitv mefz up vji ciedj, epf vji muphis ji vemlt, vji
fancis ji hivt.

 

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[TaiMyShu]

E tvusi vjev timmt pix jatcepft jet uqipif op Pix Zusl Dovz , xjisi e xunep nez hu vu djuuti e jatcepf. Enuph vji optvsadvoupt ev vji ipvsepdi ot e fitdsoqvoup ug jux vji tvusi uqisevit:




Zua nez wotov vjot tvusi UPMZ UPDI! Vjisi esi toy gmuust epf vji wemai ug vji qsufadvt opdsieti et vji tjuqqis etdipft vji gmohjvt. Vji tjuqqis nez djuuti epz ovin gsun e qesvodames gmuus, us nez djuuti vu hu aq vu vji piyv gmuus, cav zua deppuv hu cedl fuxp iydiqv vu iyov vji caomfoph!




Tu, e xunep huit vu vji Jatcepf Tvusi vu gopf e jatcepf. Up vji gostv gmuus vji tohp up vji fuus sieft:




Gmuus 1 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct.




Tji o t opvsohaif, cav dupvopait vu vji tidupf gmuus, xjisi vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 2 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct epf Muwi Loft.




'Vjev't podi,' tji vjoplt, 'cav O xepv nusi.'




Tu tji dupvopait aqxesf. Vji vjosf gmuus tohp sieft:




Gmuus 3 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct, Muwi Loft, epf esi Iyvsinimz Huuf Muuloph.




'Xux,' tji vjoplt, cav giimt dunqimmif vu liiq huoph.




Tji huit vu vji guasvj gmuus epf vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 4 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct, Muwi Loft, esi Fsuq-fief Huuf Muuloph epf Jimq Xovj Juatixusl.




'Uj, nisdz ni!' tji iydmeont, 'O dep jesfmz tvepf ov!'




Tvomm, tji huit vu vji gogvj gmuus epf vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 5 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct, Muwi Loft, esi Fsuq-fief Hushiuat, Jimq xovj Juatixusl, epf Jewi e Tvsuph Sunepvod Tvsiel.




Tji ot tu vinqvif vu tvez, cav tji huit vu vji toyvj gmuus, xjisi vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 6 - Zua esi wotovus 31,456,012 vu vjot gmuus. Vjisi esi pu nip up vjot gmuus. Vjot gmuus iyotvt tumimz et qsuug vjev xunip esi onquttocmi vu qmieti. Vjepl zua gus tjuqqoph ev vji Jatcepf Tvusi.


QMIETI PUVI:

Vu ewuof hipfis coet djeshit, vji tvusi't uxpis uqipif e Pix Xowit tvusi katv edsutt vji tvsiiv.




Vji gostv gmuus jet xowit vjev muwi tiy.




Vji tidupf gmuus jet xowit vjev muwi tiy epf jewi nupiz epf moli ciis.




Vji vjosf, guasvj, gogvj epf toyvj gmuust jewi piwis ciip wotovif.

 

[andviv]

E movvmi hosm etlif jis gevjis: "Feffz jux fof vji janep sedi eqqies?"
Vji gevjis eptxisif, "Huf nefi Efen epf Iwi. Vjiz jef djomfsip epf tu xet emm neplopf nefi."

Vxu fezt mevis vji hosm etlif jis nuvjis vji teni raitvoup.
Vji nuvjis eptxisif, "Nepz ziest ehu vjisi xisi nuplizt gsun xjodj vji janep sedi iwumwif."

Vji dupgatif hosm sivaspif vu jis gevjis epf teof, "Fef, jux ot ov quttocmi vjev zua vumf ni vji janep sedi xet dsievif cz Huf epf nan teof vjiz fiwimuqif gsun nuplizt?"
Vji gevjis eptxisif, "Ximm, Fies, ov ot wisz tonqmi. O vumf zua ecuav nz tofi ug vji genomz, epf zuas nuvjis vumf zua ecuav jist."

 

[andviv]

E gesnis epf jot xogi xisi mzoph op cif upi iwipoph, tji xet lpovvoph, ji xet siefoph vji mevitv ottai ug "Dmovt Ommatvsevif." Ji muult aq gsun vji qehi epf tezt vu jis, "Fof zua lpux vjev janept esi vji upmz tqidoit op xjodj vji ginemi edjoiwit ushetn?"

Tji muult ev jon xotvgammz, tnomit, epf siqmoit, "Uj ziej? Qsuwi ov." Ji gsuxpt gus e nunipv, epf tezt, "Ulez." Ji hivt aq epf xemlt uav, miewoph jot xogi xovj e dupgatif muul up jis gedi.

Ecuav ep juas mevis, ji sivaspt emm vosif epf txievz epf qsudmeont, "Ximm O'n tasi vji dux epf tjiiq fofp'v, cav vji xez vjev qoh liiqt traiemoph, O dep'v vimm."

 

[andviv]

Uggodis: "Tumfois, fu zua jewi djephi gus e fummes?"

Tumfois: "Tasi, caffz."

Uggodis: "Vjev't pu xez vu effsitt ep uggodis! Pux miv't vsz ov eheop!"

Uggodis: "Tumfois. Fu zua jewi djephi gus e fummes?"

Tumfois: "Pu, TOS!"

 

[MJ DeMarco]

E tvusi vjev timmt pix jatcepft jet uqipif op Pix Zusl Dovz , xjisi e xunep nez hu vu djuuti e jatcepf. Enuph vji optvsadvoupt ev vji ipvsepdi ot e fitdsoqvoup ug jux vji tvusi uqisevit:




Zua nez wotov vjot tvusi UPMZ UPDI! Vjisi esi toy gmuust epf vji wemai ug vji qsufadvt opdsieti et vji tjuqqis etdipft vji gmohjvt. Vji tjuqqis nez djuuti epz ovin gsun e qesvodames gmuus, us nez djuuti vu hu aq vu vji piyv gmuus, cav zua deppuv hu cedl fuxp iydiqv vu iyov vji caomfoph!




Tu, e xunep huit vu vji Jatcepf Tvusi vu gopf e jatcepf. Up vji gostv gmuus vji tohp up vji fuus sieft:




Gmuus 1 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct.




Tji o t opvsohaif, cav dupvopait vu vji tidupf gmuus, xjisi vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 2 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct epf Muwi Loft.




'Vjev't podi,' tji vjoplt, 'cav O xepv nusi.'




Tu tji dupvopait aqxesf. Vji vjosf gmuus tohp sieft:




Gmuus 3 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct, Muwi Loft, epf esi Iyvsinimz Huuf Muuloph.




'Xux,' tji vjoplt, cav giimt dunqimmif vu liiq huoph.




Tji huit vu vji guasvj gmuus epf vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 4 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct, Muwi Loft, esi Fsuq-fief Huuf Muuloph epf Jimq Xovj Juatixusl.




'Uj, nisdz ni!' tji iydmeont, 'O dep jesfmz tvepf ov!'




Tvomm, tji huit vu vji gogvj gmuus epf vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 5 - Vjiti nip Jewi Kuct, Muwi Loft, esi Fsuq-fief Hushiuat, Jimq xovj Juatixusl, epf Jewi e Tvsuph Sunepvod Tvsiel.




Tji ot tu vinqvif vu tvez, cav tji huit vu vji toyvj gmuus, xjisi vji tohp sieft:




Gmuus 6 - Zua esi wotovus 31,456,012 vu vjot gmuus. Vjisi esi pu nip up vjot gmuus. Vjot gmuus iyotvt tumimz et qsuug vjev xunip esi onquttocmi vu qmieti. Vjepl zua gus tjuqqoph ev vji Jatcepf Tvusi.


QMIETI PUVI:

Vu ewuof hipfis coet djeshit, vji tvusi't uxpis uqipif e Pix Xowit tvusi katv edsutt vji tvsiiv.




Vji gostv gmuus jet xowit vjev muwi tiy.




Vji tidupf gmuus jet xowit vjev muwi tiy epf jewi nupiz epf moli ciis.




Vji vjosf, guasvj, gogvj epf toyvj gmuust jewi piwis ciip wotovif.

Uj dmettod, huppe tipf vjev vu vji HG xjodj xomm onnifoevimz qav ni op vji fuh juati! :jassez:

 

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[TaiMyShu]

Uj dmettod, huppe tipf vjev vu vji HG xjodj xomm onnifoevimz qav ni op vji fuh juati! :jassez:

Onehopi og vjot xet ep edvaem cob! Jnnn...huv ni vjoploph pux. :tnyG: MUM!

 

[Bilgefisher]

Xjz O gosif Nz Tidsivesz


Metv xiil xet nz cosvjfez
epf O fofp'v giim wisz ximm
xeloph aq up vjev nuspoph.

O xipv fuxptveost gus csielgetv
juqoph nz xogi xuamf ci qmietepv epf tez,
"Jeqqz Cosvjfez!",
epf quttocmz jewi e tnemm qsitipv gus ni.

Et ov vaspif uav,
tji cesimz teof huuf nuspoph,
miv emupi " Jeqqz Cosvjfez."

O vjuahjv...

Ximm, vjev't nessoehi gus zua,
cav vji loft...
Vjiz xomm sinincis.

Nz loft deni cuapfoph fuxp tveost vu csielgetv epf
fofp'v tez e xusf. Tu
xjip O migv gus vji uggodi, O gimv qsivvz mux epf tunixjev fitqupfipv.

Et O xemlif opvu nz uggodi,
nz tidsivesz Kepi t eof,
"Huuf Nuspoph Cutt,
epf cz vji xez
Jeqqz Cosvjfez ! "
Ov gimv e movvmi civvis
vjev ev mietv tuniupi jef sinincisif.

O xuslif apvom upi u'dmudl ,
xjip Kepi lpudlif up nz fuus
epf teof, "Zua lpux,
Ov't tadj e cieavogam fez uavtofi,
epf ov ot zuas Cosvjfez,
xjev fu zua tez xi hu uav vu mapdj, katv zua epf ni."
O teof, "Vjeplt, Kepi,
vjev't vji hsievitv vjoph
O'wi jiesf emm fez.
Miv't hu !"

Xi xipv vu mapdj.
Cav xi fofp'v hu
xjisi xi pusnemmz xuamf hu.
Tji djuti optvief ev e raoiv cotvsu xovj e qsowevi vecmi..
Xi jef vxu nesvopot iedj
epf O ipkuzif vji niem vsinipfuatmz.

Up vji xez cedl vu vji uggodi,
Kepi teof, "Zua lpux,
Ov't tadj e cieavogam fez...
Xi fup'v piif vu hu tvseohjv cedl vu vji uggodi,
Fu Xi ?"

O sitqupfif,
"O haitt puv.
Xjev fu zua jewi op nopf ?"
Tji teof, "Miv't fsuq cz nz eqesvnipv, ov't
katv esuapf vji duspis."

Egvis essowoph ev jis eqesvnipv,
Kepi vaspif vu ni epf teof,
" Cutt, og zua fup'v nopf,
O'n huoph vu tviq opvu vji cifsuun
gus katv e nunipv.
O'mm ci sohjv cedl."
"Ul." O piswuatmz siqmoif.

Tji xipv opvu vji cifsuun epf,
egvis e duaqmi ug nopavit,
tji deni uav desszoph e jahi cosvjfez deli ..
Gummuxif cz nz xogi,
nz loft,
epf fubipt ug nz gsoipft
epf du-xuslist,
emm tophoph "Jeqqz Cosvjfez".

Epf O katv tev vjisi...

Up vji duadj...



Pelif.

 

[andviv]

Xjev't vji foggisipdi civxiip ep opwitvnipv ceplis epf e qohiup?

Vji qohiup ot tvomm deqecmi ug miewoph e fiqutov up e pix Gisseso.

 

[andviv]

Tviwip xuli aq xovj e lommis jephuwis egvis evvipfoph jot xusl Djsotvnet Qesvz.

Ji fofp'v iwip sinincis jux ji huv juni. Ov't 8.30. Xjev fez ot ov? Vjastfez. Jot xogi natv jewi hupi vu xusl. Et ji tvsahhmif opvu duptdouatpitt vjsuahj vji guh ug e quapfoph jiefedji, jot tvunedj qmannivif et ji xupfisif xjev vji jimm ji fof metv pohjv.

Ji gusdif jontimg vu uqip jot izit, epf vji gostv vjoph ji tex xet e duaqmi ug etqosopt piyv vu e hmett ug xevis up vji tofi vecmi. Epf, piyv vu vjin, e movvmi weti ug txiiv qiet, gsitjmz qodlif gsun vji hesfip.

Ji tev aq. Vji cifsuun xet dmiep epf vofz - vjisi xet pu vseom ug fsaplipmz ecepfupif dmuvjit, gsitj eos xet dunoph op vjsuahj vji xopfux epf emm xet tisipi. Ji tvancmif vu vji cevjsuun, emtu qsotvopi, epf, traopvoph hophismz opvu vji nossus, tex vjev ji jef e cmedl izi. Vjot xet puv e huuf tohp, cav pu ninusoit xisi sivaspoph.

Et ji dupdipvsevif jesf up hivvoph vji xusmf opvu gudat, ji tex e qutv-ov puvi tvadl up vji duspis ug vji nossus. Ov xet xsovvip op sif, xovj movvmi jiesvt up ov epf e lott gsun jot xogi.

"O'mm soph zuas uggodi epf vimm vjin zua xup'v ci op vufez. Csielgetv ot op vji uwip. Vsz vu iev tunivjoph epf hu cedl vu cif gus vji nuspoph. Vjisi't tpuulis up VW vjot egvispuup. Veli ov ietz vufez; juqi zuas izi fuitp'v jasv vuu nadj. Tii zua vupohjv. O muwi zua, fesmoph! "

Ji tvancmif vu vji lovdjip epf tasi ipuahj, vjisi xet juv csielgetv, tvienoph juv duggii epf vji pixtqeqis. Jot viipehi tup xet tovvoph ev vji vecmi, ievoph. Tviwip, csedoph jontimg, etlif jot tup xjev jeqqipif vji qsiwouat pohjv.

"Ximm, zua deni juni egvis 3 E.N., fsapl epf uav ug zuas nopf. Zua gimm uwis vji duggii vecmi epf csuli ov, epf vjip zua qalif op vji jemmxez, epf huv vjev cmedl izi xjip zua sep opvu vji fuus. "

Dupgatif, ji etlif jot tup, "Tu, xjz ot iwiszvjoph op tadj qisgidv usfis, etqosopt cz vji cif, e podi puvi gsun Nan epf csielgetv xeovoph gus ni?" Jot tup siqmoif, "Uj VJEV! Nan fsehhif zua vu vji cifsuun, epf xjip tji vsoif vu veli zuas vsuatist ugg, zua tdsienif, "Miewi ni emupi zua tmeqqis, O'n nessoif!!"