How to reply to Losers and Haters?

[alan3wilson]

Hey guys, just wondering how do you reply to losers or haters when you are working on your own projects and they tell you BS things like "you can't win" , "you don't have skills", "your project is BS so get a job" or something similiar ?

Because sometimes maybe it's wrong but I lose my time to speak with those people which annoy me and decrease my focus on working on my own projects..

 

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[mike24601]

Short answer: you don't. It's not worth wasting your breath. In Unscripted , MJ writes about a psychological study which shows that a person's convictions only grow stronger when faced with strong evidence against them. Further reduced: Debate is futile.

Carry on as usual and refute the naysayers with your success. Strive to surround yourself with like-minded people rather than losers and haters.

 

[jarvisEG44]

I see negative comments on my Facebook ads all the time.

I used to reply and argue a bit. I've learned now.

Now I just ban and delete. No need to think twice about it.

Do the same with negative people in your life. No need to deal with crabs who just want to drag you down and keep you low with them.

 

[MetalGear]

Do not waste your precious time.They either don't get it or are jealous.

MG

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Here's another 3 page thread on the topic...

How do you deal with Haters?

 

[mike24601]

You raise a good point. Aside from Facebook and my photography page on Instagram, I don't enjoy social media. As my first project begins to grow, I've considered getting rid of my Facebook because the constant negativity and political bullshit sometimes makes me feel like I'm sinking in quicksand. I have pared down my friends list to those who I really care about or have made an impact in my life, and I genuinely want to stay in touch with them, but I also don't want to turn my news feed into an echo chamber.

This is one small part of what makes Fastlane so hard. Building a business is hard. Making big decisions is hard. Dealing with your family is hard. I have one very dear friend who is a political and ideological polar opposite from me, and yet it doesn't bother me because we have been through hell together and we find immense value in our friendship. Likewise, if your fellow cubicle neighbor and drinking buddy Jimmy, who you've enjoyed a pint with every Friday for ten years is a parasitic drain on you, you will have to make a difficult decision: do I build up my internal wall of defense and keep associating with people who are against my best interest, or do I let them go. If you think it's easy to just cut people out of your life at the drop of a hat, you might be a sociopath.

Let's perform a quick mental exercise: Imagine it is 2022, five years in the future. Your hard work has paid off and you've finally done it! You are a multimillionaire! You decide to have a small gathering dinner in your palatial back-yard--who will you invite? If you suddenly found yourself free of all financial burdens; free of the rat race--who will you want to still be a part of your life? Will your parents be at the barbecue? Will Jimmy be there? Will your best friend from college, by all accounts a massive SIDEWALKER, but who stood up at your wedding and went on a formative backpacking trip with you be there? If they give me more value than they take, I'm keeping them around.

 

[SquatchMan]

Why do you care so much what other people think?

 

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[alan3wilson]

Why do you care so much what other people think?

Yeah maybe that is main problem.. well I'm still young and I'm still very scared of what other people think. I know I need to grow and get out my comfort zone.

 

[Mattie]

Because sometimes maybe it's wrong but I lose my time to speak with those people which annoy me and decrease my focus on working on my own projects..

You pretty much have to accept you're going to have haters and be attacked. Depends on what you're aiming for in your business. In my situation, I know I'll be hit hard. Cardone, Stated "Use your haters for advertisement. All you have to do is observe the media and politics how, the masses always follow the drama and run for gossip. Ha ha! Fastlane in the forum toughened up my skin, and other forums.

The more you interact with other individuals the more you learn the ins and outs of human nature, how not to react, how to respond. That's just self-mastery and practice. At this point for me I just know individuals are projecting what they see from their photo lens, self-limiting beliefs, thought patterns, and emotional patterns.

Deciphering who to give your time and attention to is part of the process. Your customers are usually mirroring where you're at until you get to a certain point. Than they shouldn't bother you anymore if you know thyself.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

This is one small part of what makes Fastlane so hard.

I feel part of being UNSCRIPTED is not give a shit about social media, but that fact is, you HAVE TO if you want to sell to the SCRIPTED.

You have to go where your audience is.

It's likened to a hot dog vendor who hates baseball games -- if you want to sell your wieners, you have to suck it up and go to the game.

 

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[MisterBHZ]

I see negative comments on my Facebook ads all the time.

I used to reply and argue a bit. I've learned now.

Now I just ban and delete. No need to think twice about it.

Do the same with negative people in your life. No need to deal with crabs who just want to drag you down and keep you low with them.

Happens to me too on my FB ads. I've even argued too & end up wasting time because the ones leaving negative comments were never going to buy from me in the first place.

 

[Waspy]

Stop giving a shit.

I'm sorry, but it's the best way forward.

 

[alan3wilson]

Thanks for all replies. Just saying that I just had an hater today (he is an old friend of mine) who started to talk badly about me on a Chat Group (where I am) and the things I do (like coursers, self develpment etc).. He told me he was "joking" but I didn't like it and I didn't replied..

It's hard guys to overcome this especially when haters are coming from your old friends or family... how did you overcome this ?

 

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[lowtek]

Better question is: why are you telling your plans and aspirations to haters and losers? What's the benefit? What's the motivation there?

 

[Nikkiahmet]

There will always be snakes and you can't change that, you can stop that by deleting or ignoring them.
Don't lower yourself and bite back because that's what they are waiting for.
Unfortunately there are alot off idiots around have nothing better to do.
I'd say a big part is jelousy.

Just focus on what you want to do and don't worry about what others think with negative comments!

 

[Iammelissamoore]

Simple - you don't!

tbh - when haters/losers respond with negative stuff, it's simply them trying to reflect their 'loser' selves onto you. They don't believe they can do the things you have set out to, so, because you haven't cashed a $Bn cheque, they think you're unworthy of it.

In my process of building my business, it came with a whole personality make over - tuning out of meaningless shows, dropping friends wo take away more than add value to my life.

Building biz, as we know, requires undivided attention which means making room for anyone outside of our Paying Customers requires the individual(s) to come with additional meaning in your life and/or biz (except for spouse/children).

So, let the haters keep hating and losers keep losing - Kudos to them, you have a successful conglomerate to build.

 

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[Mattie]

It's likened to a hot dog vendor who hates baseball games -- if you want to sell your wieners, you have to suck it up and go to the game.

Think it's beautiful once you see the bigger picture and know yourself well enough, know your audience and like you stated, it's just hockey time in my division. Mental Toughness Coach it is! Sometimes you're the Goalie and shooting back what haters throw at you. Unconscious individuals, but really if you've already won the war inside your mind, you can't really be sucked to much in the drama! I don't see how you can't play the game if you want to be wealthy. What's the point of going through the process if you're going to cower down during half-time. I think it's amazing what I hated facing before ends, up being my future wealth! Really in the end, perhaps you go through the process to make you a top expert. I don't like social media at all, but like you stated, once you know your audience, time to go play some hockey! I've never seen a hockey player be intimidated to play the game even if they've been slammed against the boards, crosschecked, tripped, punched, or slide across the ice. I spent most of my life watching hockey, even with broken ankles, knuckles, concussions, they kept moving through the obstacles. Game time in 2017/2018!

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcrqciqtBWo

Woot!

 

[wade1mil]

Agree & amplify

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Listen but don't react or respond if you think they are waste of your time, may be some are good feedback e.g. you don't have the skills to win cause you need to know how to cold call, just an example, if you don't have cold calling experience yet, so you take action in studying cold calling.

EDIT: studying and trying it out in real life...

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Until you have FU money, you just ignore them and move on. After you have FU money, you do whatever you want.

Reminds me of this...

 

[jsk29]

There is much wisdom in the body.

Sometimes all the intellectual advice you get doesn't make an ounce of difference until you "embody" it through movement and action.

Do you work out at the gym?

If you want some training in caring less about what people think, do this exercise for a couple of weeks (3 sets of 8 reps each workout).

Preferably when the gym is packed / a lot of women around.

I did this for a couple of weeks.

At first I was embarrassed out of my mind but over time I was thrusting like it was nothing.

Became immune to the glares, laughs, and curious looks.

P.S. Don't half-a$$ them either, squeeze hard each rep!

 

[wanadowellson]

Ignore them. Who are they? If they're professionals, listen to them, but don't just accept their advice if deep down you don't believe them and want to do your project. You will learn eventually if your project fails or not. You fail? You learn to never do the same again.

 

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[ZF Lee]

I see negative comments on my Facebook ads all the time.

I used to reply and argue a bit. I've learned now.

Now I just ban and delete. No need to think twice about it.

Do the same with negative people in your life. No need to deal with crabs who just want to drag you down and keep you low with them.

On negative people in my life, on the contrary, I have come to the realization that actually you shouldn't shelve people away regardless of their beliefs.

I have a few MLM friends or insurance salespeople among my contacts. I have another friend who is a music-lover who wants to do what he loves...his so-called life purpose: playing music. While I could argue with them that their premises are wrong (and I have), at the end of the conversations, they never changed their beliefs.

But they would always defend their 'work', affirming their dedication to it and their hopes that they would make a killing in it in terms of growth or pay.

While TMF and UNSCRIPTED have solved this conundrum on the basis of Expected Value and achievement ceiling, I think it is actually better to let them be rather than force them to do shit they don't want to do.

It's not about not letting them influence you. It's not about 'you are the average of the 5 closest people to you' although it is true. It's not about focusing on your Fastlane to the point that you have to alienate people.

IMO, it's more about increasing options.
I'll tell you what happened recently to me.

I came back to my high school for a reunion. I met up with a kid who left my school after being bullied (yet he came back that day...true story). We'll call him Weng. He isn't the smartest guy, but yet he's a hustler. Although not Fastlane, he worked on the side selling insurance and he got interested in programming. Although Weng's not Zuckerberg, he's more advanced than me. Although my education in that area is limited to intro shit, I could tell he knew things I might need in the future. Instead of haggling with him on how his ideas were wrong and all that, I decided to talk on things we had in common.
Sales (insurance businesses live on that), developer tools (I asked him to use Sublime instead of that Microsoft Visual Studio crap, even sent him a link to an official vote results on top tools for official validation) and so on.

Our conversation became quite pleasant after that. If I have any tech issues in the future, I might request help from him. I don't even rule out hiring him once I come to that stage.

Another story....
A senior of mine came back from Curtin University. We'll call him Nick. He's doing Finance and Marketing. While I don't take too kindly of those degrees (as MJ took them and didn't get the outcomes he'd desire...and marketing's more of a trade skill these days rather than a professional degree, and even a commodity), I decided to ask Nick what he did learn not because I wanted to criticise him, but to see what he had which I don't.

We talked about social media, evaluations of tech, political and cultural aspects before entering a market and so on. Although many things in his studies can be overidden in the real world, he did reinforce a few points I myself neglected in my own marketing strategy. Again, he will be on my list should I need help, although he's more likely to enter the corporate world rather than start his own biz.

The reason I have stopped forcing people to believe in what you and I do, i.e the UNSCRIPTED doctrine, it is because:
1. It doesn't put money in my pocket. Period.
2. It doesn't make anyone happy. Period.
3. It actually kills their efficiency in their own beliefs or works, Fastlane or not. If I had criticised Weng and Nick for being slowlaners, they would feel not valued. Remember, they don't have the mental training and beatings we receive here daily to be tough against criticism. They would feel discriminated, hurt and adverse. And as a result, what they can achieve in their fields will decrease.

I don't wish for it to happen. I want them to sharpen their skills and abilities although it might never be Fastlaned. I want them to be good at what they believe is right for them, so that I can take their abilities and combine them into a synergy, a market solution! And yes, it's easier to create solutions for the market with other people's skills rather than your own self...it's very Fastlane.

Why do I want to discourage them from their path? They can be very useful in the future or even in the present.
The beauty of this is that they have lower expectations than you. They might think of earning $10000 a month or even just want to stay a worker. It's good if they expect little...you can provide for their demands in exchange for their services, ideas or contributions at quite an affordable cost without draining your business efforts! It's the market...it's not illegal. Give them what they want, and they will do the same. Standard rule of business...otherwise the Fastlane fails.

Again, I am not sarcastic as I write this. I really wish the Slowlaners well. We will need them.

 

[NFT]

I feel part of being UNSCRIPTED is not give a shit about social media, but that fact is, you HAVE TO if you want to sell to the SCRIPTED.

You have to go where your audience is.

It's likened to a hot dog vendor who hates baseball games -- if you want to sell your wieners, you have to suck it up and go to the game.

EXACTLY!! I still hate Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat BUT I have to get used to it at least with a business account to do PPC...

 

[Deleted20833]

Don't reply or I just usually agree
and they're like WTF

 

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[Rammsteinfanboy]

@Hugo Moreno: You mean like this guy (3:18)

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JpIbQXJ99c

 

[broswoodwork]

Until you start making sales, the losers and haters are right... I recommend not talking to them, at least until you've built your business system.

 

[alan3wilson]

and how do you feel when your haters are in your family or friends ?

 

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[cutthroughstatic]

Hey OP, pickup Grant Cardone's book the 10x Rule.

He talks a lot about criticism relating to what you are doing, how passionate you are, etc.

Basically - work your a$$ off, and invite the haters to hate. If people are talking about you, you're on their mind. Let other people worry about you and enjoy the attention! It means you're doing something. People will always be critical of those that aren't "traditional". Don't let it bug you!

 

[Christopher777]

and how do you feel when your haters are in your family or friends ?

It doesn't matter. What matters is where you'll be.

You see, just by looking at their behaviors, you can see where they'll probably end up. If you're doing something different, you'll end up in a totally different place.

That's what matters.

That's your comeback. You don't even need to make one right now.