Diane Kennedy
Bronze Contributor
User Power
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- Aug 31, 2007
- 780
- 193
I was rambling on with a post at my website and had a sudden epiphany. I had to post it here because I bet this happens to a lot of us.
Do you have a family member or friend who constantly complains about his life? And then, when you offer solutions, he has a million excuses on why it will never work? I know for me I don't have friends like that (they're out of my life by now) but I do have family like that (you don't get a lot of choice in your family...). For years, I came up with better and better solutions to their problems, only to get shot down with better and better excuses on why they were powerless in their lives.
I know the saying "Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It'll frustrate you and annoy the pig" but I guess I really never got how dangerous this action really is.
When you continually try to "help" a family member or friend who doesn't want to be helped, you are (1) discouraging yourself and (2) strengthening their ability to make excuses.
I think the discouragement to yourself is the most dangerous, especially in today's negative media world. You need to protect your attitude and your point of view. Hearing again and again why something won't work is like water on a rock. Eventually it might make a hole. Protect yourself.
The part that I just realized is that by continually questioning and challenging my family on their circumstances, they are now preparing excuses in advance. They are PRACTICING on how to not succeed.
Wow. I need to stop this whole pattern of behavior NOW.
Do you have a family member or friend who constantly complains about his life? And then, when you offer solutions, he has a million excuses on why it will never work? I know for me I don't have friends like that (they're out of my life by now) but I do have family like that (you don't get a lot of choice in your family...). For years, I came up with better and better solutions to their problems, only to get shot down with better and better excuses on why they were powerless in their lives.
I know the saying "Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It'll frustrate you and annoy the pig" but I guess I really never got how dangerous this action really is.
When you continually try to "help" a family member or friend who doesn't want to be helped, you are (1) discouraging yourself and (2) strengthening their ability to make excuses.
I think the discouragement to yourself is the most dangerous, especially in today's negative media world. You need to protect your attitude and your point of view. Hearing again and again why something won't work is like water on a rock. Eventually it might make a hole. Protect yourself.
The part that I just realized is that by continually questioning and challenging my family on their circumstances, they are now preparing excuses in advance. They are PRACTICING on how to not succeed.
Wow. I need to stop this whole pattern of behavior NOW.
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