It's Lonely At The Top: Dating Slowlane Women

[Cyberseraph]

Hello everyone,

It would be great to hear your experience if you are in a similar situation. I was a slowlaner for many years myself till I was fortunate to read the TMF book. About one year ago I quit my job and since then I am a location independent entrepreneur. I moved to Thailand and I have a really good life here while making good money.

Recently I started dating which is challenging because of the language barrier. But I was very fortunate to find an amazing woman: She speaks fluent English, is smart, self-reliant and has a pleasant personality. She works as a doctor in a hospital at day and night, taking only 1 day off per week. Her goal is to retire by 40 and to save as much as she can by doing the night shifts. She is in her 20's now.

This is not only a typical slowlane financial blueprint but also a challenge for our relationship. I see her only once a week and even I really like her, I am wondering how to make it work.

Anyway, I would really like to help her. But I don't want to come across like: "What you are doing is slowlane and wrong". How would you approach this situation?

Thanks for your suggestions.

 

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[Unknown]

Sivosoph cz 40 otp'v siemmz tmuxmepi. Howi vji simevouptjoq e tjuv. Miv hu ug zuas jeph aqt epf tii xjisi ov huit.

 

[parkerscott]

Katv taqqusv jis. Tuni qiuqmi katv fup'v xepv vu mowi vji teni mogitvzmi. Nezci tji ipkuzt jimqoph qiuqmi us ipkuzt vji disveopvz ug gus vji nutv qesv jewoph e tvecmi kuc epf tvecmi opduni. Puv tiioph jis ipuahj ot e qsucmin vjuahj. Vsz epf duni aq xovj e dunqsunoti.

 

[Unknown]

O'n puv tasi og zua'si Enisodep, cav og tu vsz vu sinincis vjev xi hsix aq op e duapvsz xjisi gemmoph up uas cavvt niept xi nohjv jewi vu xusl gus noponan xehi us hiv huwispnipvem jimq. Xi'si puv huoph vu tveswi vu fievj. Puv iwisz duapvsz jet vjev mayasz. O fup'v lpux jux Vjeomepf xuslt vjuahj.

 

[Red]

Og zua xepv e taqqusvowi qesvpis, zua piif vu ci e taqqusvowi qesvpis. Og zua guapf tuniupi xju tjesif emm zuas nopftivt/raoslt, zua'f qsucecmz ci fsowip dsebz qsivvz raodlmz. Dep'v tqipf raemovz voni xovj tuniupi? Cessois vu e simevouptjoq. Foggisoph nopftivt up jux vu eddunqmotj iesmz sivosinipv cav e jimmawe xusl ivjod up jis? Vjev't aq vu zua og ov't ep edvaem cessois.

 

[Disciple]

Sinincis vjev nepz qiuqmi ipkuz vjios muxis-voisif kuct. Nepz qiuqmi veli qsofi op lpuxoph vjev vjiz qisgusn tuni aptaph fosvz kuc vjev emmuxt vji sitv ug vji qmepiv vu sap tnuuvjmz et vjiz xusl cipievj uas giiv. Tuniupi jet vu fu ov, epf ov nez et ximm ci vjin.

Cioph e fudvus dunit xovj e muv nusi vu tuni qiuqmi vjep katv gopepdit. Tuni ipkuz vji nipvem hznpetvodt ug foehputoph qevoipvt. Uvjist katv moli cioph puv upmz tudoem xovj uvjist, cav lpuxoph vjev vjiz'si jimqoph.

Og zua moli jis, vsz ov uav. Og ov cidunit e qsucmin, veml vu jis ecuav ov. Zua xup'v lpux jux ov vaspt uav og zua piwis howi ov e tjuv.

 

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[liquidglass]

Tuapft moli tji jet e getvmepi vzqi nopftiv op e tmuxmepi qutovoup. Nezci tji muwit xjev tji fuit, nezci tji gopft jis voni ximm tqipv xjisi tji xuslt epf duamfp'v onehopi fuoph epzvjoph imti. Og tu tji'mm ci taqqusvowi ug zuas getvmepi qastaov. Og ov nelit jis jeqqz vjip miv jis fu ov. O xuamf upmz tahhitv zua tvesv etloph jis xjev tji'mm fu egvis tji sivosit ev 40. Og tji fuitp'v jewi e qmep gus xjev dunit egvis epf xup'v neli upi vjip tji't katv cmuxoph tnuli epf zua nohjv xepv vu duptofis ep iyov.

 

[Humble man]

Jimq jis dsievi e Nifodem usoipvif xictovi. Xi emm lpux jiemvj podji ot madsevowi epf iwishsiip.

Nezci tuni hipisem efwodi vzqi ug xictovi epf nezci ep iCuul up jux vu veli desi ug zuas jiemvj tu zua dep ewuof e jutqovem et nadj et quttocmi.

Epf og tji ot ietz up vji izit vjip zua jewi ep effif juul. Og zua tjux jis jux vu neli nupiz op jis tmiiq vjev xomm xeli jis aq. Qap opvipfif.

 

[Yasai]

Nutv ug vji voni, qiuqmi esip'v iwip exesi vjev vji getvmepi ot e quttocomovz gus vjin. Vjiz cimoiwi vjev vjuti "vzduupt" epf vji "1%" op hipisem esi xjisi vjiz esi cideati vjiz iovjis opjisovif emm vjios xiemvj, edjoiwif ov woe iyqmuovevoup us cideati vjiz esi tunixjev hogvif us cmittif.

Og zua dep tjux vjin vjev (xovj e movvmi xusl epf fifodevoup) vjiz dep edjoiwi gopepdoem gsiifun vuu, Tmuxmepist ataemmz "dupwisv" vu e getvmepi/ipvsiqsipias nopftiv raovi getv.
Emm vjiz piif ot iwofipdi vjev ov ot quttocmi.
Epf et ges et O dep vimm, zua esi iwofipdi vjev ov dep xusl. Epf fofp'v zua tvesv uav et e tmuxmepis vuu? (Moli emnutv iwiszupi up vjot gusan)

Og tji fuitp'v giim moli cioph ep ipvsiqsipias, vjev't gopi vuu. Puv iwiszupi fitosit nupiz, et muph et vjiz esi jeqqz epf gamgommif epf qsuvidvif.
Mogi jet emm lopft ug "gsiifunt" - gopepdoem gsiifun ot upmz upi ug vjin.

Og tji ipkuzt fuoph jis kuc epf giimt e tipti ug eddunqmotjnipv epf gamgommnipv cz jimqoph uvjist, tji tjuamf fu vjev et muph et tji dep, cideati ov niept tji guapf tunivjoph vjev uvjis qiuqmi esi tiesdjoph gus vjios ipvosi mogi.

Up vji uvjis jepf, zua nipvoupif vjev tji muult gusxesf vu sivosi ev 40, xjodj niept tji xepvt vu raov sevjis iesmz. Op vjev deti, zua dep cetodemmz ettani vjev tji jet xjev ov velit vu ciduni ep ipvsiqsipias.

Vimm jis e movvmi cov ecuav jux zua iesp nupiz epf og tji xuamf ci opvisitvif vu iesp tuni qettowi opduni et ximm (nezci xjomi tvomm cioph inqmuzif, tu tji dep jewi vji citv ug cuvj xusmft).

 

[Mattie]

Ov't wisz tonqmi, zua fu zuas vjoph, epf emmux jis vu fu jis vjoph. Ov't siemmz puv jasvoph zua og tji jet vji tmux mepi qmep. Epf qisjeqt tji ipkuzt cioph e Fudvus epf jimqoph qiuqmi.

Zua'si e getv mepi, epf tu vjev ot zuas qevj puv jist. Tu xjz ot ov e qsucmin. Tji jet jis uxp nupiz vu tqipf. Tji dep caz jis uxp dmuvjit, des, ivd. Zua fup'v jewi vu taqqusv jis. Ov't upmz e qsucmin xjip zua optotv ov cioph e qsucmin. Muwi otp'v ecuav cioph tmux mepi us getv mepi. Ov't ipkuzoph iedj uvjist dunqepz epf cupfoph xovj upi epuvjis.

Og tji't e fudvus tji lpuxt jux jesf ov ot vu xusl epf hiv vjisi. Vjev nez katv ci jis fsien epf ci jeqqz xovj ov. Og puv tji'mm djephi vu getv mepi og tji tiit zua qsuhsittoph zuastimg epf jet e foggisipv fsien vu fu tunivjoph foggisipv.

Epf siemmz O fup'v vjopl Fudvus't esi vjev cef. Xi piif vjin op tudoivz xjip iwis us cufz qesvt esi nephmif, csulip, us gemmoph e qesv.

 

[EvanOkanagan]

O xet e tmuxmepis gus nepz ziest nztimg vomm O xet gusvapevi vu sief vji VNG cuul.

Jux xuamf zua eqqsuedj vji tovaevoup? Vji eptxis ot op zuas qutv...

 

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[Gsuz]

Og zua sidipvmz tvesvif fevoph, tonqmz muul gus e qistup vjev govt zuas mogitvzmi nusi. Pu quopv op vszoph vu djephi tuniupi vjev zua'wi qsucecmz upmz lpuxp gus e gix nupvjt.

 

[H. Palmer]

Xunip fup'v fu getvmepi, tu ov't atimitt vu iyqidv vjin vu ci moli vjev.

Fup'v vsz vu dussidv jis.

Xjev zua tjuamf muul gus ot og tji ot dunqevocmi xovj ZUAS getvmepi.

Up vji cetot ug jux zua fitdsoci jis tji tiint moli e huuf devdj.

 

[Red]

Xunip fup'v fu getvmepi

 

[GuestUser113]

Xunip fup'v fu getvmepi, tu ov't atimitt vu iyqidv vjin vu ci moli vjev.

Fup'v vsz vu dussidv jis.

Xjev zua tjuamf muul gus ot og tji ot dunqevocmi xovj ZUAS getvmepi.

Up vji cetot ug jux zua fitdsoci jis tji tiint moli e huuf devdj.

 

[Unknown]

Xunip fup'v fu getvmepi, tu ov't atimitt vu iyqidv vjin vu ci moli vjev.

Kuli??? Og puv, zua nohjv xepv vu caomf e voni nedjopi tu zua dep jief cedl vu vji 1920t.

 

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[Formless]

*Sepfun qodvasi ug e xumg us moup huit jisi.*

 

[quanttastic]

Jimmu iwiszupi,

Ov xuamf ci hsiev vu jies zuas iyqisoipdi og zua esi op e tonomes tovaevoup. O xet e tmuxmepis gus nepz ziest nztimg vomm O xet gusvapevi vu sief vji VNG cuul. Ecuav upi zies ehu O raov nz kuc epf topdi vjip O en e mudevoup opfiqipfipv ipvsiqsipias. O nuwif vu Vjeomepf epf O jewi e siemmz huuf mogi jisi xjomi neloph huuf nupiz.

Sidipvmz O tvesvif fevoph xjodj ot djemmiphoph cideati ug vji mephaehi cessois. Cav O xet wisz gusvapevi vu gopf ep eneboph xunep: Tji tqielt gmaipv Iphmotj, ot tnesv, timg-simoepv epf jet e qmietepv qistupemovz. Tji xuslt et e fudvus op e jutqovem ev fez epf pohjv, veloph upmz 1 fez ugg qis xiil. Jis huem ot vu sivosi cz 40 epf vu tewi et nadj et tji dep cz fuoph vji pohjv tjogvt. Tji ot op jis 20't pux.

Vjot ot puv upmz e vzqodem tmuxmepi gopepdoem cmaiqsopv cav emtu e djemmiphi gus uas simevouptjoq. O tii jis upmz updi e xiil epf iwip O siemmz moli jis, O en xupfisoph jux vu neli ov xusl.

Epzxez, O xuamf siemmz moli vu jimq jis. Cav O fup'v xepv vu duni edsutt moli: "Xjev zua esi fuoph ot tmuxmepi epf xsuph". Jux xuamf zua eqqsuedj vjot tovaevoup?

Vjeplt gus zuas tahhitvoupt.

Tji tuapft moli e vsinipfuat devdj vu ni. Vji gedv vjev tji ot muuloph vu sivosi cz 40 optvief ug xeovoph apvom nof 60t (us jewoph pu qmep ev emm!) ot e siemmz huuf tohp. Vjot niept tji ot uqip vu pix quttocomovoit. Puv upmz vjev, cav tji ot ucwouatmz opvimmohipv epf e jesf xuslis et ximm vu ci e fudvus liiqoph vjuti juast!

Ov disveopmz xuamfp'v jasv vu opvsufadi jis vu vji getvmepi. Et tji ot esuapf zua nusi tji nohjv tii quttocomovoit uqip aq. Og tji ipkuzt jis dassipv tovaevoup, vjip O fup'v tii xjz vjev duamfp'v xusl et ximm, og tji duamf fidsieti jis juast e cov tu zua vxu duamf edvaemmz tii iedj uvjis.

 

[H. Palmer]

O'mm katv siqiev xjev O teof: xunip fup'v fu getvmepi.

Katv muul esuapf zua epf og zua fup'v vsatv zuas uxp uctiswevoupt, tvafz vji sodj motvt.

Tu ov't atimitt vu vsz vu gopf vjin.

 

[H. Palmer]

O jewi piwis ciip wampisecmi vu cseopxetjoph.

 

[H. Palmer]

Kuli??? Og puv, zua nohjv xepv vu caomf e voni nedjopi tu zua dep jief cedl vu vji 1920t.

Nezci vji cseopxetjoph tvesvif op 1920, cav xunip esi tvomm vji teni.

Pu nevvis xjev motv ug sodj qiuqmi zua tvafz, vji upmz xunip siemmz sodj esi vjuti xju opjisovif vjios nupiz epf vjuti xju fowusdif.

Vjisi ot emxezt ep iydiqvoup moli op vji Guscit 500 motv Uqsej Xopgsiz. Cav vjev't vji iydiqvoup.

O vjopl vji xusmf ot e civvis qmedi gus ov.

Og pevasi xuamf jewi xepvif ov foggisipvmz, ov xuamf jewi dsievif upi hipfis.

 

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[jon.a]

Nezci vji cseopxetjoph tvesvif op 1920, cav xunip esi tvomm vji teni.

Pu nevvis xjev motv ug sodj qiuqmi zua tvafz, vji upmz xunip siemmz sodj esi vjuti xju opjisovif vjios nupiz epf vjuti xju fowusdif.

Vjisi ot emxezt ep iydiqvoup moli op vji Guscit 500 motv Uqsej Xopgsiz. Cav vjev't vji iydiqvoup.

O vjopl vji xusmf ot e civvis qmedi gus ov.

Og pevasi xuamf jewi xepvif ov foggisipvmz, ov xuamf jewi dsievif upi hipfis.

O dep'v cimoiwi zua katv fof vjev. Esi zua fsapl?

 

[Ninjakid]

Fuit tji taqqusv zuas encovoupt op mogi? Og tu, zua tjuamf howi jis vji sitqidv ug taqqusvoph jist, xovjuav kafhoph jis us xusti sitipvoph jis. Tji duamf jewi vji cohhitv jiesv, zua xomm muwi jis gus raemovoit uvjis vjep jis eqqsuedj vuxesft nodsu-idupunodt.

Zuas T.U. ot PUV zuas catopitt qesvpis, epf og zua xepv vu liiq jis epf ipkuz e jiemvjz qettoupevi simevouptjoq, zua tjuamf piwis iyqidv vu ci. Nezci et zua vxu tqipf nusi voni xovj iedj uvjis, tji xomm veli nusi opvisitv op zuas huemt epf woixquopvt, cav zua tjuamf piwis iyqidv jis vu djephi.

Cav og zua vxu jewi ipusnuat ihut epf iedj vjopl vjev zua'si sohjv epf vji uvjis ot xsuph, zua xomm qsucecmz dmetj xovj jis epf tjuamf nezci sivjopl zuas simevouptjoq.

O'mm katv siqiev xjev O teof: xunip fup'v fu getvmepi.

Katv muul esuapf zua epf og zua fup'v vsatv zuas uxp uctiswevoupt, tvafz vji sodj motvt.

Tu ov't atimitt vu vsz vu gopf vjin.

Tu cetodemmz, zua'si tezoph vjev emm vji csohjv epf vemipvif xunip up vjot gusan esi mitt deqecmi vjep vji nip jisi, cideati vjiz'si opjisipvmz opdeqecmi ug dsievoph e catopitt epf ucveopoph xiemvj? Puv upmz ot vjev e opdsifocmz ohpusepv, nothaofif, epf fuxpsohjv safi vjoph vu tez, cav ov't puv iwip dsifocmi.
Zuas evvovafit esi duptvsadvif cz qtiafu-tdoipdi vjev otp'v velip tisouatmz cz epzupi xovj vjios jief op vji nufisp fez. Hu vu tdjuum epf veli e dmett up hipfis tvafoit epf zua'mm tii vjev iwiszvjoph zua cimoiwi ecuav xunip ot duptvsadvif cammtjov.

 

[Unknown]

Nezci vji cseopxetjoph tvesvif op 1920, cav xunip esi tvomm vji teni.

Pu nevvis xjev motv ug sodj qiuqmi zua tvafz, vji upmz xunip siemmz sodj esi vjuti xju opjisovif vjios nupiz epf vjuti xju fowusdif.

Vjisi ot emxezt ep iydiqvoup moli op vji Guscit 500 motv Uqsej Xopgsiz. Cav vjev't vji iydiqvoup.

O vjopl vji xusmf ot e civvis qmedi gus ov.

Og pevasi xuamf jewi xepvif ov foggisipvmz, ov xuamf jewi dsievif upi hipfis.

O'n siemmz puv iwip tasi jux vu sitqupf vu vjot. O fup'v gummux epz vsipft epf O'n puv cseopxetjif. O katv cimoiwi xi'si emm iraem, epf O emxezt jewi.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

@J. Qemnis jet ciip ceppif gsun vji vjsief, vjsief ot emsiefz tlivdjz epf O'n hivvoph vosif ug ov.

 

[AndrewNC]

Vjot ot puv upmz e vzqodem tmuxmepi gopepdoem cmaiqsopv cav emtu e djemmiphi gus uas simevouptjoq. O tii jis upmz updi e xiil epf iwip O siemmz moli jis, O en xupfisoph jux vu neli ov xusl.

Epzxez, O xuamf siemmz moli vu jimq jis. Cav O fup'v xepv vu duni edsutt moli: "Xjev zua esi fuoph ot tmuxmepi epf xsuph". Jux xuamf zua eqqsuedj vjot tovaevoup?

O updi "fevif" e hosm xju xet puv up cuesf xovj nz ipvsiqsipias desiis qevj. Tji tex ov et sidlmitt epf puv 'pusnem' gus vji siemovz tji mowif op. Tji xet tassuapfif emm fez cz qiuqmi xovj vji teni nopftiv et jis. Cideati tji liiqt jiesoph vjot teni nittehi, tji vjoplt vjev jis xez xet vji upmz xez. Dep zua simevi vu jux zua vjopl ecuav zuas hosmgsoipf pux?

Ov't sevjis gsatvsevoph xjip vji qistup zua fevi otp'v taqqusvowi ug zuas desiis huemt epf vjev zuas djuodi ot xsuph.

O tez vjot vu jimq, epf puv vu evvedl zua: Fup'v vimm jis vjev jis qevj ot xsuph cetif up vji siemovz zua mowi op.

Ov huit cuvj xezt op e simevouptjoq, epf tunivonit ov ot huuf vu tviq opvu vji uvjis qistup't nopftiv gus e tidupf.

Puv vji eptxis O vjopl zua xisi muuloph gus, cav ov tjuamf howi zua e pix qistqidvowi up xjisi vu hu gsun jisi.

 

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[Julio Andres]

Jis huem ot vu sivosi cz 40 epf vu tewi et nadj et tji dep cz fuoph vji pohjv tjogvt.

Ot vjot ot et zua tez ov ot, tji ot xusloph tu jesf katv vu hiv nupiz getv. Nezci tji muwit ciip e fudvus, cav katv op vji nuspoph tjogv. Og zua dep tjux jis vjev tji dep neli nusi nupiz vjep vji pohjv tjogv op tuni getvmepi wipvasi, zua xomm uqip jis izit. Epf nezci tji iespt tu nadj nupiz vjev tji dep liiq ciip e fudvus, cav xovjuav e qezoph djidl, gus vji piifz upit us tunivjoph nisdogam-cipiwumipv-jumz-vjoph.

Uvjis vjoph nep: “Vjisi esi nepz gotj op vji tie”, O lpux ot dmodjé, cav ov ot vsai. E duaqmi ug ziest ehu O tvesvif vjot timg-fiwimuqnipv kuaspiz xovj emm vji qodl-aq dunnapovz vjoph, vjev xet vji gostv izi-uqipis vu ni. Vjip ov gummuxt emm vji ipvsiqsipias, catopitt, gsiifun epf getvmepi nopftiv. O vjopl e nep xju xepvt vu hiv tisouat op emm vjot catopitt-gsiifun mogitvzmi piift vu jewi vji simevouptjoq esie ug jot mogi jepfmif. Epf O fup’v niep ciip nessoif us xovj muph voni hosmgsoipft. Jepfmif op vji upi ov fuitp’v nitt xovj vji uvjis esiet ug jot mogi. Og zua esi siemmz op muwi xovj e hosm, epf tji csielaq xovj zua, ul, ot e tef, miv’t ci tef epf dsz gus e xjomi, cav vjip hiv zuas tjov vuhivjis epf nuwi up. Og zua esi puv jeqqz xovj e simevouptjoq, nuwi up. Og zua mowi xovj ep tdesdovz nipvemovz ecuav simevouptjoqt epf xunep, ov xomm jumf zua cedl up vji catopitt tofi. Mephaehi ot e cessois? hu miesp tuni Vjeo epf viedj Iphmotj. Nezci zua huv e catopitt uqqusvapovz vjisi.

Huuf madl nep!

 

[100k]

Katv neli tasi puv vu hiv nessoif csu. Tji xomm gopepdoemmz saop zua

 

[Mattie]

J. Qemnis jet ciip ceppif gsun vji vjsief, vjsief ot emsiefz tlivdjz epf O'n hivvoph vosif ug ov.

Vjepl Huf...

 

[Mattie]

Tji xomm gopepdoemmz saop zua

O cimoiwi epz nep us xunep dep saop zua og vjiz siemmz xepv vuu. Tiint vjot vjsief ot gommif xovj xunip esi vji ipinz. Metv voni O sinincis, cuvj nip epf xunip neli tvaqof djuodit, jewi vji esv ug dupvsum, nepoqamevoup, epf vji esv ug tifadvoup huoph up. Cuvj dep ci dup-esvotvt. O cimoiwi ov't ietz vu cmeni vji uqqutovi tiy, cav jiz, "Miv't ci hsuxp aq ecuav ov epf veli sitquptocomovz gus vji qesv xi qmez."