The death of the nuclear family

[Cosmicgirl]

Don't just ping in with your BS if you haven't read the whole thread. Women aren't saints. The facts are divorce and women infidelity is rising dramatically.

FYI 100% of the women he was mentioning did cheat...

Wtf? Speak English please. I don't know what "pinging" is and nope, not BS, just my opinion based on the thread (which I have read the while of actually)
So why don't you ping off with your bs.

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

In my experience, if history is repeating itself over and over you can eliminate the variables and start concerning yourself with the constants.

Exactly!
According to the OP and the idiot called Arcola - the rising divorce rates are all due to women! Maybe it's true, maybe women are sick of dealing with arsehole men! Especially those who form their own opinion. PING!

 

[dknise]

First off, if you're going to respond please read my posts. I'm not just citing my personal situation, I'm citing every single relationship I have ever witnessed. Friends, family, associates, hard factual statistics. If you don't want to acknowledge that and go on a personal attack because I offended you, haha, go for it.

Couldn't agree more.
To the OP - you sound massively emotionally immature, you've obviously been burnt and it has skewed you view of women as a species.
You cannot tar every woman with the same brush, that is ridiculous.
No, every woman does not cheat, don't be silly.

You didn't read a word I said.

When one girls cheats on you, it might be her fault, if that happens with every girl it is surely your fault for not being man enough. Girls don't want to feel like they're being used like a sex toy, they want to feel beautiful & appreciated. Apparently you give that vibe initially, then go into jerk mode or denier mode.

You didn't read a word I said.

Still trying to understand where you are coming from. You are looking for a serious relationship and then tell women that you're not and then are caught offguard when they are less than honest with you (even when they were the ones that pushed for commitment).

Ah I see where you're coming from. The majority of my battle was not from the "I don't want a relationship" upfront side. Since my breakup with my ex, I've been upfront about not wanting to risk my heart on the line again. Girls push and push and push and finally I'll say yes, I'll take a chance with you. Maybe I was some broken thing to conquest to them, but it didn't take any of them long to cheat right after we made things official.

If you want to find a woman who will be committed and faithful to the relationship my advice is be upfront about what you are looking for in a relationship. Don't waste time pursuing (or being pursued by) someone who is comfortable with the idea that a relationship with you is anything but serious.

This is a business example, but the lesson is pertinent. Communicate your behavioral expectation of fidelity, and be congruent about it, too, in every aspect of your own behavior. What behaviors do you want to see? (Somehow these women believed that cheating was an ok thing to do. What led to that?)

I know for my situation personally, all of my ex's and I had this conversation! We even made agreements that if there was ever another person or the feelings just weren't there anymore we would break them off. The day I caught my ex, she even reminded me of this agreement for proof of how insane I was being, even though I had the hard evidence in my hands.

One thing to always keep in mind is that while we can only control ourselves, we do exert certain influence that we aren't consciously aware of (for example, inadvertent communication though our body language ). Even if there are things totally outside of our influence that can affect our lives, it can be a beneficial delusion to assume that we're 100% responsible for everything that happens. Even if you're right that the problem lies entirely with the female psyche, believing that it's still somehow 100% in your control is a much more productive stance (unless you want to abandon your goal of having a happy relationship entirely).

Bingo, this post is about my decision to abandon that life goal entirely. I went through all the motions of who to blame and how to fix it, starting with myself. A full two years later and more experience with "what else is out there," that's what's led me down the route I'm on.

I have no idea about your situation of course (so sorry if this is way off base, but just consider for a minute that it may not be), but this sounds very much like a number of friends that I've had over the years. From my knowledge of them, I'll speculate that this makes you a bit needy in a relationship and that that is very attractive/endearing to women at first (which is why you have no problem attracting them) but that it gets old/tiring after a while, and you end up pushing them away.

I've been told that before too, just like I've been told I'm controlling, but I don't see the connection. I have a theory about what's going on and it has to do with the fact that I am a provider. As a provider, I like being the strong and supporting one in most situations. To me, being a man means being able to do this, because my father never was able to fully provide for me. What I think most of the girls I date see, is that they have a guy who is completely whipped and willing to do anything for them. When some bad a$$ who just wants to hit it and quit it comes along, they get interested because they wonder why someone isn't doing anything for them, it attracts them. When I was 18 I gave advice to one of my nicest friends ever (who was terrible with girls) to be a little mean to them, chivalry today comes off as being creepy haha... within a few weeks he had a girlfriend.

 

[Cosmicgirl]

Don't tell me what I did and didn't read thanks. I read it from start to finish and have my opinion. As did others, which I agree with.
If people happen to disagree does not mean a) they haven't read it or b) they are talking bs.
THEY ARE GIVING THEIR OPINION - deal with it!

 

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[dknise]

Don't tell me what I did and didn't read thanks. I read it from start to finish and have my opinion. As did others, which I agree with.
If people happen to disagree does not mean a) they haven't read it or b) they are talking bs.
THEY ARE GIVING THEIR OPINION - deal with it!

No, you didn't read what I said because you specifically stated things I was not.


I'll even cite why you didn't read:

To the OP - you sound massively emotionally immature, you've obviously been burnt and it has skewed you view of women as a species.
You cannot tar every woman with the same brush, that is ridiculous.

That's not speaking from my own experience, but my own experience viewing every single relationship I have ever seen.

The bush being a single relationship experience, which I was not relating everything to. I also did not call these girls any derogatory names, but you're actually name calling and throwing insults. I get that this offended you (because it probably applies directly to you and your rampant infidelity) but I did not insult you until just meow.


Also, you must be the fastest reader alive, cause you were able to read my entire last post and respond in 4 short minutes. You're amazing.

 

[arcola]

Wtf? Speak English please. I don't know what "pinging" is and nope, not BS, just my opinion based on the thread (which I have read the while of actually)
So why don't you ping off with your bs.

Let me google that for you

Exactly!
According to the OP and the idiot called Arcola - the rising divorce rates are all due to women! Maybe it's true, maybe women are sick of dealing with arsehole men! Especially those who form their own opinion. PING!

I suggest you learn how to read. It makes you look dumb.

Neither I or the OP said that.

Don't tell me what I did and didn't read thanks. I read it from start to finish and have my opinion. As did others, which I agree with.
If people happen to disagree does not mean a) they haven't read it or b) they are talking bs.
THEY ARE GIVING THEUR OPINION - deal with it!

He doesn't need to genius. If theres a sign that says waterbottles are $2.00 and a dumb lady named Cosmic walks in and says "HOW MUCH ARE WATERBOTTLES?" you could suppose that dumb lady didnt read the sign.

*Their not THEUR

 

[arcola]

Just for the record

you sound massively emotionally immature, you've obviously been burnt and it has skewed you view of women as a species.

Thats not an opinion, you are calling someone emotionally immature. They either are or aren't. Thats what I call BULLSHIT.

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

Haha you two are hilarious. Obviously can't deal with females speaking their minds. Haha
Go and play little boys.
FYI I have never been unfaithful, nor will I. I don't need to, my man satisfies my every need, ladies cheat when unsatisfied - enough said

 

[Cosmicgirl]

I think Arcola fancies me, what is it they say about men who give women a hard time, they normally fancy them hahaha
I wasn't even replying to you, I was talking to the OP (who is more than welcome to reply to my opinion btw)

 

[dknise]

He doesn't need to genius. If theres a sign that says waterbottles are $2.00 and a dumb lady named Cosmic walks in and says "HOW MUCH ARE WATERBOTTLES?" you could suppose that dumb lady didnt read the sign.

Lol! She's totally that person.

For the record, I'm not emotionally immature, I'm extremely, self-admittedly, emotionally scarred and burnt. If that makes me an a**hole, then yes Cosmic, I understand why "all guys are assholes" now haha.

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

Just for the record

Thats not an opinion, you are calling someone emotionally immature. They either are or aren't. Thats what I call BULLSHIT.

Yep, that is an OPINION based on what he has said - hence "you sound...."
Duh!

 

[dknise]

I was talking to the OP (who is more than welcome to reply to my opinion btw)

My opinion is that you didn't read what I wrote because you were stating wrong information about my perspective. My opinion is that this entire thread applies to you.

 

[Cosmicgirl]

Lol! She's totally that person.

For the record, I'm not emotionally immature, I'm extremely, self-admittedly, emotionally scarred and burnt. If that makes me an a**hole, then yes Cosmic, I understand why "all guys are assholes" now haha.

That's fine, I'm glad you're not, I said "you sound" that way from the way you were speaking actually.
And FYI, I am far from dumb but I don't need to prove my credentials to you or anyone else. Lets just say I'm doing pretty well for myself!

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

My opinion is that you didn't read what I wrote because you were stating wrong information about my perspective. My opinion is that this entire thread applies to you.

Well I have been in a happy and committed relationship for nearly 16 years so I can tell you that this is definitely not me.
I just don't think you should write off all women because you've had some bad experiences. That way you may pass by someone who is perfect for you and that would be a real shame.

 

[arcola]

Haha you two are hilarious. Obviously can't deal with females speaking their minds. Haha
Go and play little boys.
FYI I have never been unfaithful, nor will I. I don't need to, my man satisfies my every need, ladies cheat when unsatisfied - enough said

You go girl. If you're committed and unsatisfied, you have every right to cheat girlfriend.

I think Arcola fancies me, what is it they say about men who give women a hard time, they normally fancy them hahaha
I wasn't even replying to you, I was talking to the OP (who is more than welcome to reply to my opinion btw)

Oh I so do. I love a girl who cant read, cant spell, and is deluded. Can you PM me?

 

[dknise]

Well I have been in a happy and committed relationship for nearly 16 years so I can tell you that this is definitely not me.
I just don't think you should write off all women because you've had some bad experiences. That way you may pass by someone who is perfect for you and that would be a real shame.

OH MY GOD. She does it again. You failed to read my responses yet again haha.

Your last sentence is why I made this thread... #1 thing I wanted out of life was a partner and family. That would be a shame.

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

Hahahaha Arcola, you've brightened up my dull day, thank you

 

[Cosmicgirl]

I'm going to attempt to relate this back to business.


My future now includes a sole individual progressing through life, myself.
?



QUOTE]

So this is not you writing off other women? No? Well jeez, maybe YOU haven't read your own thread?????

 

[dknise]

So Cosmic, let me get your input on my latest situation:


I was out a couple weekends ago at my friends place for a very classy party, more like a cocktail party. A new friend of mine asks me to walk her to her car to get some wine, and knowing the area of Seattle I was happy to. On the walk we began talking about our views on life, what we do for work, etc etc. When we got back I noticed she was looking at me totally differently and my friends did too. If I could have written on paper the perfect girl, she's it. There were serious flirtatious vibes that everyone was picking up on. A few days later she asks me if I'd like to go on a coffee date with her to the new ferris wheel on our cities waterfront. I told her I would never be interested in such a person or time, and I was a little disgusted?

Why did I do that? Because I met her BOYFRIEND at the same time I met her. If she had broken it off with him because it just wasn't right and then we started something, that would have been amazzzinggg. But, she was actively pursuing to cheat on her boyfriend with me. My only thought is why wouldn't she do the same to me?

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

You're 100% right, of course you are.
I would always steer clear of people who cheat, that's a big red flag. They cheat with you and they'll cheat on you, no brainer.

 

[dknise]

So this is not you writing off other women? No? Well jeez, maybe YOU haven't read your own thread?????

It is writing off a relationship, the thread is about my psychological move from desiring a meaningful relationship, to accepting that one may never happen.

What you were claiming is that I am basing ALL of my depressing perspective on relationships from a SINGLE relationship I had, which I am not. Here's the exact post today that I reiterated it for you:
https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/people-relationships/47887-death-nuclear-family-2.html#post298426

Warning: You have to read more than the first sentence.

 

[arcola]

So Cosmic, let me get your input on my latest situation:


I was out a couple weekends ago at my friends place for a very classy party, more like a cocktail party. A new friend of mine asks me to walk her to her car to get some wine, and knowing the area of Seattle I was happy to. On the walk we began talking about our views on life, what we do for work, etc etc. When we got back I noticed she was looking at me totally differently and my friends did too. If I could have written on paper the perfect girl, she's it. There were serious flirtatious vibes that everyone was picking up on. A few days later she asks me if I'd like to go on a coffee date with her to the new ferris wheel on our cities waterfront. I told her I would never be interested in such a person or time, and I was a little disgusted?

Why did I do that? Because I met her BOYFRIEND at the same time I met her. If she had broken it off with him because it just wasn't right and then we started something, that would have been amazzzinggg. But, she was actively pursuing to cheat on her boyfriend with me. My only thought is why wouldn't she do the same to me?

Why don't you just totally seduce her?

If you want security dont depend on her morality, be so good you have more leverage. Thats my opinion. I am not speaking out of my a$$, I straight up seduce a girl I really want to be only mine. I mean the whole thing, the romance, the cognitive dissonance, everything, to the point they cry for you and fall madly in love. Robert Greene's the Art of Seduction is the best. Thats my opinion

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

I know you arent basing it on a single relationship and I HAVE read it ALL so do me a favour and stop telling me to read it!! I know that you are basing your thoughts on multiple failed relationships - I GOT THAT.

 

[dknise]

You're 100% right, of course you are.
I would always steer clear of people who cheat, that's a big red flag. They cheat with you and they'll cheat on you, no brainer.

Thank you! If you had an hour with this girl, I'm sure you would recommend her to any good guy you know. She's classy, dresses conservatively, very well educated and spoken. That situation is soooo similar to all the others I've been having.

 

[Cosmicgirl]

Yes but all of those good qualities count for shit if she can't finish one relationship before she starts another!

 

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[dknise]

Why don't you just totally seduce her?

If you want security dont depend on her morality, be so good you have more leverage. Thats my opinion. I am not speaking out of my a$$, I straight up seduce a girl I really want to be only mine. I mean the whole thing, the romance, the cognitive dissonance, everything, to the point they cry for you and fall madly in love. Robert Greene's the Art of Seduction is the best. Thats my opinion

Cause she's a cheater... haha

I'm 100% positive I could have a very long relationship with kids and the whole shebangabang, but to ignore morality? I'd rather just not have a relationship than have one that is nearly destined to be screwed.

I know you arent basing it on a single relationship and I HAVE read it ALL so do me a favour and stop telling me to read it!! I know that you are basing your thoughts on multiple failed relationships - I GOT THAT.

You just quoted me again with the same vibe so I responded... so if you wan't me to stop saying that... stop telling me I'm basing everything on a single relationship! haha

 

[dknise]

Yes but all of those good qualities count for shit if she can't finish one relationship before she starts another!

BOOM! So we agree! Cosmic, every single girl I've ever dated, ever one I meet now, every one that dates a friend, every parent couple of my friends I know... my entire world view... is the same situation I just explained to you. Every time something like that happens, it kills my hope a little more. Like my friend Vlad who told me I'm an a$$... he found out in 10 minutes that he was NOT the exception. That is the sum of why I feel the way I do, I'm not happy about it at all, and I'm not championing it. It's a revelation from my world view that completely, sucks.

 

[arcola]

Cause she's a cheater... haha

I'm 100% positive I could have a very long relationship with kids and the whole shebangabang, but to ignore morality? I'd rather just not have a relationship than have one that is nearly destined to be screwed.

Oh right missed that. Seduction could not survive that long

 

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[Cosmicgirl]

I know you aren't basing it on a single relationship!!! You are right about the girls who cheat but I don't believe that you do need to change your psyche and accept that the relationship you had wanted may never happen. I believe there is someone for everyone.

 

[arcola]

I feel bad for your poor friend who searched his girl's email,,,,