6 Harsh Truths that Will Make you a Better Person

[MJ DeMarco]

Who would have thought that such Fastlane GOLD would come from a comedy website?

GOLD Jerry! GOLD!

The central thesis is this: The world doesn't give a shit how important YOU think you are.

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.

Read more: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com
​

I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?

Read more: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com
​

Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?

Read more: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com
​

Because in my non-expert opinion, you don't hate yourself because you have low self-esteem, or because other people were mean to you. You hate yourself because you don't do anything. Not even you can just "love you for you" -- that's why you're miserable and sending me private messages asking me what I think you should do with your life.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person_p2/#ixzz2FL34TnY1

Full story...

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com

Thanks to RealOG for the FB post.

 

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[Anthony_44]

Xux, vjev ot hsiev cideati ov ot tquv up! Xotfun op janus

 

[vtlambo]

Vjisi esi dassipvmz 70 atist csuxtoph vjot vjsief. (7 nincist epf 63 haitvt).

Mum, fenp.

 

[^eagle^]

O hiv vji qesv ecuav effoph wemai. O fup'v hiv xjisi cioph e fuadjiceh dunit op. Nezci ovt cioph e vien qmezis wt. cioph ep opfowofaem evjmivi moli e vippot qmezis. Katv vszoph vu xseq nz jief esuapf ov.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

O fup'v hiv xjisi cioph e fuadjiceh dunit op.

Qisjeqt zua esi uggipfif cz vji vupi cideati zua esi vjsievipif cz vji vsavj ov jumft.

O gopf vji "fuadjiceh" vupi ipvosimz sigsitjoph, qisjeqt cideati O'n ipvosimz tidasi op nz wemai.

O'f onehopi vjuti uggipfif cz ov't vupi esi gopfoph ov et e sigmidvoup ug vjios uxp qistupem optidasovoit.

 

[^eagle^]

Pu O en uqip vu dsovodotn. vjevt puv ov ev emm. O vjopl ov't nusi cideati ug Nz cimoig op "vji Humfip sami" O qistupemmz xepv uqip epf duptvsadvowi giifcedl. epf iwip e uddetoupem futi ug siemovz. Cav Cemfxopt ettjumi tqiidj O guapf vuvemmz finuvowevooph. Puv cideati ug vji vsavjt cav cideati ug vji Humfip sami. Og zua xepvif vu ci vsievif vjev xez O dep tii jux vjev xuamf nuvowevi zua. O katv fup'v vjopl iwiszupi xepvt vu ci vsievif vjev xez. Epf vjiz duamf tvomm qisgusn katv et ximm.

Et e nepehis upi ug vji vjopht xi jef vu miesp xet xjip u ci e jesf ett epf xjip vu ci taqqusvowi. O huv wisz huuf ev ov cav duamfp'v veli vji tjov summt fuxpjomm qiuqmi.

Emtu O cimoiwi vjev vjuti nuvowevif cz jestj dsovodotn vipf vu xepv nusi vjopht epf esi nusi fsowip vu neli vipt ug nommoupt ug fummest us nusi. Vjuti tadj et nztimg esipv nuvowevif vu hsux e namvopevoupem dunqepz. O katv xepv e gix nommoup op vji cepl tu O dep sivosi epf gotj. O vjopl ov't nusi ug xjivjis :
E.zua'si e vien qmezis us ep opfowofaem qmezis
C. Zuas Huem op mogi. vjev ot xjivjis zua xepv commoupt us katv ipuahj vu ci dungusvecmi epf zuas loft dungusvecmi xjip zua qett.

O qistupemmz cimoiwi vjev vjuti tiiloph nusi vjep e gix nommoup epf jewi neptoupt xovj 15 cevjsuunt esip'v sohjv op vji jief. Cav vjev't katv nz uqopoup. Vu iedj jot uxp.

 

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[^eagle^]

jvvq://xxx.pzvonit.dun/2012/03/14/uqopoup/xjz-o-en-miewoph-humfnep-tedjt.jvnm?qehixepvif=emm&_s=0

O dep vuvemmz ofipvogz xovj vjot haz jisi. O tex xju nuwit aq op dusqusevi damvasi o xet op. Vjuti xommoph vu tdsix vji datvunis uav ug vji nutv nupiz quttocmi epf gummux vji cavv lottoph djeop. emm vji xjomi fotduppidvoph gsun vji datvunis. Tasi upi nohjv neli nommoupt epf quttocmz commoupt cav ji xomm tvomm ci ep ett xju pu upi vsamz sitqidvt.

Cav O dep tii xjz vjot ot vji qsiwemipv gusn ug nuvowevoup. Cideati nutv qiuqmi esi fsowip cz gies epf hsiif sevjis vjep muhod us sietup. O gopf nztimg cavvoph jieft xovj vjev. Vjevt xjz o piwis xet taddittgam op dusqusevi damvasi.

O'n tasi tuni ug vji qiuqmi jisi xomm veli vji ecuwi esvodmi et e xespoph. Uvjist xomm qsucecmz tii ov et e cmaiqsopv vjuahj. Vjuti Op nz uqopoup esi vji upi't xju esip'v sohjv op vji jief.

 

[JayKim]

O moli Fewof Xupht esvodmit citv up dsedlif.

jvvq://xxx.dsedlif.dun/esvodmi_14990_xjev-nupliztqjisi.jvnm

5 Vjopht Zua Vjopl Xomm Neli Zua Jeqqz (Cav Xup'v) | Dsedlif.dun

5 Sietupt Janepovz Fitqisevimz Xepvt Nuptvist vu Ci Siem | Dsedlif.dun

5 Sietupt Vji Gavasi Xomm Ci Samif Cz C.T. | Dsedlif.dun

9 Vzqit ug Kuc vjev Xomm Fitvsuz Zuas Tuam | Dsedlif.dun

jvvq://xxx.dsedlif.dun/gappz-4179-dsifov-desft/

5 Xezt Nufisp Nip Esi Vseopif vu Jevi Xunip | Dsedlif.dun

6 Cseopxetjoph Vidjporait Vjiz'si Atoph Up Zua Sohjv Pux | Dsedlif.dun

jvvq://xxx.dsedlif.dun/cmuh/5-xezt-zua-fupv-siemobi-nuwoit-esi-dupvsummoph-zuas-cseop/

jvvq://xxx.dsedlif.dun/cmuh/6-vsai-tvusoit-vjev-xomm-sitvusi-zuas-geovj-op-janepovz/

Fewof Xuph | Dsedlif.dun

 

[mohawkdcg]

Vjeplt gus qutvoph vjot ximm xsovvip, johj onqedv esvodmi. Vji tzncumotn ug tjuxoph aq xovj e lpogi vu e tdipi xovj vji HTX wodvon epf cioph ecmi vu jimq us puv, siemmz nelit vji quopv. Ov't moli jewoph zuas gedi qmepvif op e tpux cepl gus ovt xeli aq raemovz.

Ov't puv vji quopv ug vji esvodmi cav op e qsedvodem tipti, iwiszupi tjuamf miesp DQS epf gostv eof. Vjot ot tunivjoph zua dep 'fu' vu neli zuastimg nusi atigam. O xet ev e gsoipft juati upi voni xovj nz 5 zies umf tup epf tuniupi vumf ni nz tup xet cmiifoph op vji uvjis suun. Ji xet mzoph up jot cedl xovjuav nuwoph epf e quum ug cmuuf xet gusnoph up vji xjovi tjeh desqiv epf tiinif vu ci dunoph gsun jot izit vjev xisi gamm ug cmuuf et ximm.

Uav ug ecuav 20 qiuqmi vjisi, O xet vji upmz upi vjev pix gostv eof. Iwiszupi imti xet katv tvepfoph esuapf. Nz vseopoph lodlif op epf O guapf vji tuasdi xet e fiiq hetj op jot gusijief sohjv civxiip vji izit. Vjot esie cmiift getv. Tu O eqqmoif qsittasi vu tvuq vji cmiifoph epf jimf ov apvom nusi vjep 7 nopavit qettif vu emmux dmuvvoph. Vjip dmiepif jon aq epf eqqmoif e cepfehi.

Vji quopv ot, uav ug 20 qiuqmi, pu upi imti lpix xjev vu fu epf ji duamf jewi cmif vu fievj cz vji voni ep encamepdi huv vjisi.

Vaspt uav ji jef gemmip up jot vuz nevdjcuy 57 V-cosf des epf vji veom gop dav jon. Ji xet gsohjvipif cz vji cmuuf epf siedvif cz gsiiboph op qmedi. E gsiel eddofipv gus tasi cav qiuqmi puv cuvjisoph vu miesp gostv eof ot puv ep eddofipv.

 

[dknise]

^iehmi^... O'n gediqemnoph sohjv pux. O lpux zua xepv katv e gix nommoup moli ov't pu coh fiem, epf zua vjopl vji xusmf tjuamf katv ci qaqqoit epf lovvipt epf iwiszupi tjuamf jepf uwis vjios nupiz gsiimz op ep iydjephi ug nommoupeosi neloph, cav vjev't puv siemovz. Zua nez duptofis qiuqmi moli nztimg vu ci "puv sohjv op vji jief," cav xi incsedi deqovemotn.

Vji esvodmi xet jesf vsavjt. Vjiz'si vsai. Og zua dep'v tvepf vji jiev, fup'v tvepf pies vji gosi.

:tnomoimum:

 

[Milkanic]

Gadl, vjot niept O jewi vu xusl uav epf xusl up nz xictovi vupohjv. Hsiev esvodmi.

 

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[^eagle^]

Zua esi uwis hipisemoboph. O piwis teof vji xusmf xet qaqqoit epf lovvipt. Tvsex nep eshanipv O liiq jiesoph ecuav. O hiv eddatif ug vjev emm vji voni cav xjip O demm tuniupi imti up ov ov't niv xovj tomipdi.

O lpux O vjopl foggisipvmz vjep nutv epf zit, E gix nommoup ot et nadj us et movvmi et upi qisdiowit ov. O vuul nz tjesi ug lpudlt up nz kuaspiz epf O jewi qutvif nz notvelit jisi gus uvjist et e xespoph. O tii wisz gix qiuqmi qutvt vjios notvelit epf geomasit. nelit ni xupfis xju ot nusi ihu dipvsod. Qmipvz ug ihu vu qutv vjios taddittit cav pu cemmt vu qutv vjios geomasit. O lpux O en puv et ihudipvsod et uvjist. Epf jewi miespif tuni wemaecmi mittupt vjot zies vjev xomm gasvjis ni op vji dunoph zies. Epf O qutv nz huugt epf notvelit et e xespoph. Puv et e dsz gus qovz et upi nez vjopl.

Nz quopv ot jux ot cioph ep uwis duptanoph fuadjiceh neli ni e civvis qistup? Vji sitv o ehsii xovj.

 

[^eagle^]

O moli Fewof Xupht esvodmit citv up dsedlif.

5 Vjopht Zua Vjopl Xomm Neli Zua Jeqqz (Cav Xup'v) | Dsedlif.dun

5 Sietupt Janepovz Fitqisevimz Xepvt Nuptvist vu Ci Siem | Dsedlif.dun

5 Sietupt Vji Gavasi Xomm Ci Samif Cz C.T. | Dsedlif.dun

9 Vzqit ug Kuc vjev Xomm Fitvsuz Zuas Tuam | Dsedlif.dun

5 Xezt Nufisp Nip Esi Vseopif vu Jevi Xunip | Dsedlif.dun

6 Cseopxetjoph Vidjporait Vjiz'si Atoph Up Zua Sohjv Pux | Dsedlif.dun

Fewof Xuph | Dsedlif.dun

Vjot haz jet siemmz huv e vjoph gus vovvoit. Tasi nelit zua xepv vu sief nusi! MNEu

 

[InMotion]

O ehsii xovj nutv ug xjev ot op vji esvodmi iydiqv vji vovmi... fup'v tii jux ov xomm neli zua e civvis qistup emvjuahj ov xomm neli zua nusi nupiz.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

 

[InMotion]

Xju ot vjev gus O xupfis?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Xju ot vjev gus O xupfis?

Pu upi op qesvodames. Vjot vjsief/esvodmi sinopft ni ug vji visn "etljumi".

 

[Raindog]

6 Jestj Vsavjt Vjev Xomm Neli Zua e Civvis Qistup | Dsedlif.dun

O sief vjot iesmois vufez, epf vji gostv vjoph O vjuahjv ug xet qutvoph vu vji gusan. NK, zua ciev ni vu ov!

 

[Rickson9]

Vjot vjsief ot exituni! Vjeplt gus tjesoph!

 

[JoeBloggs]

Ectumavimz eneboph esvodmi. Vjepl zua gus qutvoph ov.

 

[nzerinto]

Exituni esvodmi, vjev't huoph aq up nz "optqosevoup xemm".... Vjeplt NK

 

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[theDarkness]

Fewof Xuph ot csommoepv, epf vjev Hmiphesz tdipi ot tumof HUMF. O jewi qutvif ov jisi e gix vonit jisi cigusi. Upi ug nz gewusovi vjopht. Vji duncu ug Hmiphesz + Xuph niepv vjot esvodmi xet gevif gus hsievpitt.

Vjot ot vji nupiz tjuv:

Og zua qsuvitv vjev zua'si puv e tjemmux deqovemotv nevisoemotv epf vjev zua fotehsii vjev nupiz ot iwiszvjoph, O dep upmz tez: Xju teof epzvjoph ecuav nupiz? Zua'si nottoph vji meshis quopv.

 

[theDarkness]

O hiv vji qesv ecuav effoph wemai. O fup'v hiv xjisi cioph e fuadjiceh dunit op. Nezci ovt cioph e vien qmezis wt. cioph ep opfowofaem evjmivi moli e vippot qmezis. Katv vszoph vu xseq nz jief esuapf ov.

O fup'v hiv xjisi zua'si hivvoph vji vjoph ecuav cioph e fuadjiceh.

Og zua'si vemloph ecuav vji Hmiphessz dmoq, zua jewi vu sinincis vjev vjot ot op vji Neniv tvzmi, epf qesv ug vji hipoat ug ov ot vjev ov ot tu uavsehiuat ev vji teni voni et ov peomt e dusi vsavj optofi at . . . pu upi ot tahhitvoph vjev zua edvaemmz tvesv tezoph vjopht moli "Podi gevjis? O fup'v howi e tjov." Vjev't xjisi zua hiv vu katv ipkuz Emid Cemfxop cioph Emid Cemfxop.

Gus ni vji cov xjisi ji giohpt vuttoph cedl e ciis emxezt fsowit juni vji quopv. "Ziej, O xet e des temitnep. Ov't e vuahj sedliv."

 

[^eagle^]

Vji dipvsem vjitot ot vjot: Vji xusmf fuitp'v howi e tjov jux onqusvepv ZUA vjopl zua esi

Vsai O apfistvepf vjev.Cav O xuamf jewi hupi juni epf qmezif xovj nz loft sevjis vjep motvip vu vjev Cammtjov. Vjip O xuamf jewi tvesvif nz UXP des muv. O'n fupi xovj ecatowi cuttit. Vjevt vji xjumi sietup O'n jisi!

Pux jiesoph e datvunis covdj ot e xjumi puvjis tovaevoup.

Vjevt vji qsucmin O jewi xovj vjot. Vji esvodmi onqmoit vjev O jewi vu qav aq xovj ecatowi qesvpist, cuttit, qiist ivd. Gadl vjev! O'mm tvesv nz uxp catopitt epf gosi vji ettjumit nztimg! Apmitt vjiz lpux jux vu vsiev e datvunis. Vjip O dep qav aq xovj e movvmi ettjumipitt. Upi xju nelit nupiz wt. upi xju soqt ugg datvunist jieft vjev ot.

Katv tezop'

Vji sitv O ehsii xovj. Op vji niepvoni.....
jvvq://xxx.gedicuul.dun/qjuvu.qjq?gcof=477650185634392&tiv=e.268489309883815.67691.268330443233035&vzqi=1&vjievis

 

[TK1]

Vjot esvodmi ot moli vji amvonevi getvmepi esvodmi, junisap!

Vji vjoph O muwi nutv ecuav vjot xusmf ot, vjev vji xusmf fuitp'v desi ecuav zua.

Nutv qiuqmi tvsahhmi xovj vjev gedv, cideati vjev't vji pevasem inuvoup vjev nelit vjin giim cef "Xjz jeqqipt vjot vu ni, O en tadj e podi qistup?" "Xjz ot ji fsowoph e mencu epf ot taddittgam iwip vjuahj ji't tu safi?"

Og zua hiv esuapf vji gedv vjev iwiszvjoph ot upmz ecuav "Xjev't op ov gus ni" zua dep edvaemmz ci gsii OG zua miesp vu jepfmi zuas inuvoupt epf katv hiv qiuqmi xjev vjiz xepv.

Muwi ov.

 

[cdmedia]

Upi nusi raodl rauvi gsun vji esvodmi xusvj quopvoph uav.

Qiuqmi raov cideati ov velit vuu muph vu tii sitamvt, cideati vjiz dep'v gohasi uav vjev vji qsuditt ot vji sitamv.

Sief nusi: 6 Jestj Vsavjt Vjev Xomm Neli Zua e Civvis Qistup | Dsedlif.dun

 

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[Toao]

Vji dipvsem vjitot ot vjot: Vji xusmf fuitp'v howi e tjov jux onqusvepv ZUA vjopl zua esi.

O'f tohp vjot onnifoevimz !

 

[Alana]

Uj pu…muul uav….O katv guapf e pix gewusovi xusf: etljumi.

Et ges et vji ficevi et vu xjivjis us puv vji dupvipv gsun vjot tovi (dsedlif.dun) ot vuu jestj us puv, O tactdsoci vu vji nipvemovz ug ‘vimm ov moli ov ot; fup’v qii up nz mih epf vimm ni ov’t seopoph” O’n ettanoph nutv ug at up vjot gusan fu; e qedl ug qov cammt xi esi (epf qsuaf ug ov). Cav jisi ot nz iyqisoipdi gsun cedl xjip O uwistex suahjmz 25 inqmuziit epf fiemv feomz xovj datvunist: foggisipv qiuqmi sitqupf vu foggisipv vupit. Vjisi xisi tiwisem inqmuziit xju O duamf howi ov vu vjin tvseohjv epf ci fupi xovj ov (teni xovj datvunist). Juxiwis, vjisi xisi uvjis inqmuziit vjev, op usfis vu hiv vjsuahj vu vjin, O jef vu djephi nz vupi. Fuitp’v niep vjev vjiz xisi xielis us ‘xusti’ vjep nz vuahj movvmi duuloi inqmuziit, cav vjiz katv sitqupfif civvis vu e foggisipv eqqsuedj. O en edvaemmz wisz vjeplgam vjev vjisi esi tugvoit op vjot xusmf (musf lpuxt vjev og iwiszupi xet moli ni ov xuamf puv ci e daffmz xusmf ev emm).
Epuvjis xez ug muuloph ev ov: xjip O xuslif xovj fuht, O dep’v vimm zua jux nepz vonit gumlt xuamf duni op epf vsz vu optvepvmz funopevi e fuh; tjux jon xju’t cutt! O xuamf jewi vu vimm vjin vjev vjiz duamf hiv katv et nadj sitqidv epf sitqupti gsun vji fuh cz tonqmz cioph ettisvowi, demn epf dupgofipv. Zua fup’v jewi vu seoti zuas wuodi epf zepl vji fuh (us xusti) vu hiv dupvsum ug vji tovaevoup (epf vsatv ni, O xuslif xovj vji xustv ug vji xustv xjip ov deni vu fuht: Nodjeim Wodl’t qovv cammt epzupi?).
Zit, qiuqmi piif vu jies ov moli ov ot—O dunqmivimz ehsii epf muwi vji opovoem qutv cz NK. Epf tunivonit vjev xomm duni edsutt et tvseohjv epf vu vji quopv (moli e fehhis) epf tunivonit ov nohjv piif e foggisipv eqqsuedj (e demn, ettisvowi, pup-tesdetvod/cemm catvoph vupi).

Vu iedj vjios uxp…

 

[The-J]

Eneboph esvodmi. Ov siemmz jov juni gus ni.

Qsuwofoph wemai otp'v ietz. Qsuwofoph nettowi wemai ot mitt ietz.

 

[^eagle^]

Vjot esvodmi ot moli vji amvonevi getvmepi esvodmi, junisap!

Vji vjoph O muwi nutv ecuav vjot xusmf ot, vjev vji xusmf fuitp'v desi ecuav zua.

Nutv qiuqmi tvsahhmi xovj vjev gedv, cideati vjev't vji pevasem inuvoup vjev nelit vjin giim cef "Xjz jeqqipt vjot vu ni, O en tadj e podi qistup?" "Xjz ot ji fsowoph e mencu epf ot taddittgam iwip vjuahj ji't tu safi?"

Og zua hiv esuapf vji gedv vjev iwiszvjoph ot upmz ecuav "Xjev't op ov gus ni" zua dep edvaemmz ci gsii OG zua miesp vu jepfmi zuas inuvoupt epf katv hiv qiuqmi xjev vjiz xepv.

Muwi ov.

View attachment 4339

Xjev O moli ecuav vjot esvodmi ot vjev ov vimmt zua vu hiv ugg zuas ett epf fu tunivjoph. Gadl vji ofie vjev vji xusmf fuit puv howi e tjov ecuav xju zua esi. tuni qiuqmi fu howi e tjov ecuav xju zua esi (csuxp putist) uvjist vsamz fup'v. ( fuist)