What would you tell your 18 or 25 year old self?

[davedev]

Refuse to judge yourself for the time already wasted, that was in ignorance, now you know, no excuses from now on.

 

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[IceCreamKid]

Stop waiting...
Stop waiting to ask the girl out.
Stop waiting for the employer to call you back with a job offer.
Stop waiting to be happy.
Stop waiting for your ship to come.
Stop waiting for somebody to save you.
Stop waiting for a mentor and go get them yourself.
Stop waiting for better friends to come into your life. Get them yourself.
Stop waiting to live the life you've always wanted. Get it yourself.

Stop chasing after girls whose looks promise heaven and deliver hell. Admit it, you're just horny and your balls are controlling your actions. Take control of your ridiculous urges bro.
That really hot girl you're with...she will steal your money and get a boob job with it. You'll have thoughts racing through your mind for weeks about how you want to sue her and make her life hell, but you won't end up doing it in the end because you're a nice guy at heart. You will be left bitter and confused for a while, but realize one day that all the bad stuff you went through was only meant to make you stronger....karma will actually get her back a few months later when her mom kicks her out of the house for being such a ridiculously selfish human being towards everyone.

When you approach a mentor, don't wait to take action on what they tell you to do. If you do that, you are an a**hole and are wasting his time.

Do not move to the dark side. They say nice guys finish last, but they usually finish with a sizable savings account and a good ladybird.

YOU CANNOT CHEAT THE GRIND SO STOP LOOKING FOR SHORTCUTS. Take action. Get the ice cream.

 

[H. Palmer]

Sleep better.
Screw so called friends.
Don´t overrate academic knowledge.
Get a mentor.
Believe in yourself.
Loosen up, go on vacation and get laid more often.

 

[socaldude]

I'm a little younger than 25 but here goes anyways.

1. Making money has absolutely nothing to do with money. Solve problems and create value. Be ambitious in terms of value creation and knowledge.

2. Don't be limited by your past. Your vision of the future is the best indicator for success contrary to popular belief that the past is the best indicator of future success.

3. Live according to my own expectations. Never let others be the voice in your head that tells you what is possible for you.

4. Fear is sign that you need to wake up and open your eyes, not cower in the corner and hide.

5. It's okay to fail. Sometimes failure is more powerful than success.

6. Think. Be a critical thinker. Be independent. When you turn up internal noise, external noise goes down.

7. Sometimes that voice in our head that is running 24/7 that is constantly telling us what we are and what we can do is NOT OURS. Sometimes it was passively adopted by other people and the environment. Remove it and be your own voice and you will find that it is never negative. Negative thoughts and feelings can only come from external sources.

 

[JAJT]

1. Read more.
2. Ignore "stuff". Perfection is when there is nothing more to take away, NOT when there is no more to add.
3. Do not engage in consumer debt. At All. Ever.
4. Take action NOW. Life is going to get in the way very soon.

 

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[RazorCut]

True story. Before my Father died aged 57 he gave me the following advice (I was 18 at the time):

"Son, I gave the best years of my life to some bugger else. Don't make the same mistake."


I passed on the same information to my children. God bless you Dad.

 

[dknise]

This thread is GOLD for advice.

Here's the line that made me decide to drop out of college:

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.

(mine as well throw in the full speech)

 

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[Esquire]

HANDS DOWN ... the WORST decision I ever made in my 20s -- was getting married.

F*ck me. I'm still writing the checks. Nothing ... and I mean NOTHING ... has wracked more financial havoc in my life than family court.

And I don't even have kids. Ain't THAT a bitch ...?

Do NOT let the government into your bedroom. Do NOT put yourself into a position where a family judge can strip you of damn near everything you own (property assignments) ... and strip you of everything you don't even own yet -- but will someday (alimony).

You don't "marry" your spouse. You "marry" the government.

Because the moment you say "I do" ... the government has you -- and everything you own -- by the nut sack.

Refuse to pay? Go to jail (civil contempt).

Judge violates your rights and ignores the law ...? Sit your a$$ in a jail cell while you wait for your appeal and a formal apology.

F*ck THAT. Never again.

All it takes is one bonehead judge ... who thinks your BUSINESS GROSS ... is your PERSONAL NET ... to F*ck you good and hard.

Six figures hard.

Ask me how I know ...

Worst decision of my life.

 

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[Jill]

I would tell my 25-yr-old self (25 years ago...):

• Value time.

• Live meagerly. You can “live large” later.

• If you can’t pay them off every month, don’t use credit cards.

• Stay in shape. The world is not kind to fat people. (Besides, nothing else matters without your health.)

• If he's is not good enough for you the way he is right now, today, move on. (E.g. don’t marry someone’s potential best self.)

• Expand your horizons! Travel NOW & never stop learning new things (sports, languages, skills, etc.)

• Make an effort to have more quality conversations with your parents. Ask every question and say everything you want say to them while you still can.

• It’s okay to respectfully take a different path than the one to which your parents have led you.

 

[JEdwards]

Never start offering to buy your friends meals take them on trips cause they cannot afford it and you dont want to seem like a jerk.. Make friends who can.

Knowing that would of saved me a few 100 grand from 20-25.

 

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[Rawr]

Refuse to judge yourself for the time already wasted, that was in ignorance, now you know, no excuses from now on.

Wow.Really hit home.



You only begin to see opportunities if you are out there doing something. Get in the world, even if it means getting some side gigs instead of sitting at home. More world you know = more opportunities.

 

[DeletedUser2]

stop being afraid.
most of your fears are foundless
take more chances.

ignore amway (ya I did that when I was 20 also) go faster. don't "KILL DAYS" F*cking around

if you can do it today get it done.

ignore 99% of people.

be nice to people. they just dont know.

always take the high road, even when its easier not to.

Z

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Just say "NO" to Amway. Would have saved hundreds and 6 months of my life. (Actually I was 21, not 25, but you know what I mean.)

ignore Robert Himler. save 45 bux.

 

[Coriolis]

Stop reading fiction and start reading business & personal development books.
Learn to manage your work time efficiently.

 

[Andy Black]

Would my 25 year old self be capable of listening anyway?

For me, I'd want to let my 25 year old self know that you're on the right track.

That being you and helping people with no expectation of anything in return will be the makings of you.

I'd tell myself to not wait so long to have kids, they will bring you so much joy.

To not ride motorbikes because, whilst you won't know when you're dead, you'd absolutely break your parents hearts. Think more about your poor parents.

That when you have kids you'll get an inkling of what your parents did for you.

I'd tell myself to visit my parents and brother a whole lot more.

To NOT plan to travel the world, because everything you need is close to home.

To avoid people that made you feel you can't be yourself - this will delay you being youself for decades.

To not agonise over the details.

That there is no such thing as failing, only learning.

Unless you put your hand in the same fire twice - that's just dumb.

That it's all part of the rich tapestry of life.

To never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest to you. (Mother Theresa)

To not spend so long doing the same thing as an IT contractor. Your personal and professional growth will stagnate.

To enjoy the journey.

To appreciate each and every moment.

That nothing's so bad you can't F*ck it up more by doing something stupid to try and fix it.

That people don't notice all the little things you do wrong. They're too preoccupied with themselves.

That people don't notice all the little things you do right. They're too preoccupied with themselves.

Don't listen to anything from people who start sentences with "You need to", "You must", "You should", or "You have to".

To pay more attention to how old folks let you make mistakes...because the people who've walked the walk know you're travelling your own path (and therefore don't start sentences with red flag phrases mentioned above).

Take deeper breaths.

Occasionally slow the F*ck down and take a moment to feel the wind on your cheek and watch the birds in the sky.

You don't need to be an expert.

To be interesting, be interested.

Keep moving.

It doesn't get easier. You get stronger.

Ask people how they're doing.

Look people in the eye when you say sorry.

The bigger man can say sorry.

Muscles doesn't mean you're strong.

You *can* do public speaking.

Stories rock. Keep filing them away.

We're all so unique and interesting.

Keep asking questions. People love it, and they open up like flowers.

Your CV isn't about you, but about what *they* want.

Learn how to help local business owners earlier... you're not going to like corporate life.

One day people will be able to work from home and start businesses from home. You'll love it, so don't worry about spending a few years in a cubicle.

Playing poker is like collecting stamps, it's not a glamorous and exciting sport like skiing.

Playing poker is another hourly rate j.o.b. and you're never going to be any good at it as you think in straight lines not onion layers.

Social media is just more of the same. Treat people like people and it doesn't matter the medium.

To get started in business, spend your money on diesel and coffee.

There are people out there who will try to convince you that you don't know enough, aren't good enough, or are plain old not enough. Because you'll then buy their product.

Pick a direction. Get started. Keep going.

You already know enough.

You're already good enough.

You are enough. Because you say you are.

Now go.

Start.

 

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[Lauryn]

You're making the right decision. It's now or never - and it's not so bad on the other side.

Besides, nobody knows or understands you better than YOU do - so screw their thoughts on your situation.

{25 was the age at which everything I thought I had - especially my marriage - crumbled and went to hell. I knew it was time to move on and fought with myself about how much to listen to everyone else about my decision. I was deeply depressed. Suicidal. Etc.}

I'm about to be 29... so clearly whatever I thought then ended up saving my life.

 

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[JasonR]

stop being afraid.

So much, this.

When you can live a life, without fear, you can truly live.

I'm 29. If could have told my 25 year old self this, I would not have understood it. When you understand it, you know.

Me and @TheTruth went out the other night. Some random girls said they liked us. You know why? They literally said, "You guys do whatever the F*ck you want, without giving a F*ck what other people think."

I just thought, yup, that's us. That's living a life without fear.

 

[DeletedUser394]

To myself in my 20's: There is essentially no wisdom in 'the crowd'. The standardized formula employed by people of slightly-above-average-intelligence to get marginally ahead in the world of working for other people is not for everyone and its REALLY not for you. If your objective in life is to be among the dbags who argue over the critical importance of a pressed shirt then by all means, go get that government or cubicle job, start filling out those TPS reports and hope one day you'll get 'noticed'.

Be brave and have confidence in your own abilities to do your own thing, to start your own business, to create value, to service legitimate needs and in turn, to make enough money so that money doesn't matter.

Make decisions in life that liberate you, not obligate you.
I've seen men enslave themselves to car payments. It's pathetic.

Stollen from: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/3...yr-old-self-1373143/index36.html#post41126869

 

[MarcusI]

Stop watching porn!
Let everyone be exactly as they are and don't try to change anyone.
Stop spending money on crap.
Do the best possible with every new day.
Be way more grateful.

 

[Blue Lion]

For you 25 yr old+ guys out there, if you could go back in time, and tell your 25 year old self something, what would you say?

 

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[nausbot]

Listen to your head and heart. Immediately do what you know you're supposed to do. Keep learning. Read 4hww. Read TMF . Never stop. Pay off debt. Take a trip alone where you want to visit most. If you want something work really hard to get it. Stay single.

 

[Esquire]

What would I tell my 25-year-old self ...?

Hard to say ... I'd be too busy bitch slapping the shit out him.

The things I know now ... that I wish I knew then ... would fill a book.

Not even going to attempt it.

The real question -- in my mind -- is what will I want to bitch slap myself over 20 years from today?

The biggest difference between me at 20 ... and me at 40 ... is that me at 40 ... knows another round of bitch slaps are coming.

Guaranteed.

When I figure out why ... I'll let ya know.

 

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[throttleforward]

My mini-career as an EMT has had a pretty big impact on how I view life. Some things I learned that I'd tell a 25yo:

-You'll die, but not how you think. It probably won't be the quick and relatively painless car accident or "dying in my sleep" kind of death - the only people I saw very few dead people like that, and most died way too young (in their teens due to some fluke car accident). The worst hell I can think of is sitting in a nursing home for 15 years, fully lucid but without control of your body (and I've seen plenty of them) because of something like a stroke. If you believe that thinking back and asking yourself "what if I pursued that idea..what if I wasn't such a wimp...what if I gave it my all" from your front porch on your social security income sounds bad, imagine it in a hospital bed in a nursing home surrounded by a bunch of people who really could care less about you, with bed sores on your butt because you haven't moved in the last 6 hours and the nurse's aid hasn't bothered to move you. Oh by the way, you're sharing your room with someone with dementia who screams all the time and poops on themselves on a regular basis, because you can't afford a private room on your Medicare/Medicaid room.

-Happiness truly doesn't come from money. Money makes a LOT of stuff easier and can certainly facilitate happiness, but it's the people around you combined with your mindset that will equal happiness. I've seen incredibly happy poor people from the worst parts of town, and dead unhappy people who shot themselves even though they clearly came from money.

-The people who succeed and survive in life are those who are willing to ask questions, put themselves out there, put their pride away, and humble themselves.

-All of us are capable of incredible feats of physical and mental strength. I've seen people smile and carry on cordial conversations while they were bleeding to death internally...I've seen fathers save the lives of children who were dying because of their calm, professional approach to problem-solving, refusing to let the incredible emotion of having their child die in front of them cloud their judgement...I've seen family members convince their suborn father after a month of trying that he needed to see a doctor, not realizing that once their father got into the ambulance that he immediately went into cardiac arrest and ultimately survived because they persisted and at the last minute got him in front of medical professionals who could help him.

-Making money is simple - numerous forum posts on here detail exactly how to do it. The discipline and humility required to execute on the knowledge gained is the hard part.

 

[jon.a]

What would you tell your 25 year old self?
Get better friends.

 

[Lex DeVille]

I would tell my 25 year old self... Thanks.

Thanks for being ahead of the curve.
Thanks for divorcing your first wife.
Thanks for staying fit and eating healthy.
Thanks for dumping your job and diving into Entrepreneurship without a clue.
Thanks for saving and investing.
Thanks for learning how to communicate with people.
Thanks for long-term planning that eventually paid off.
Thanks for reading a lot.
Thanks for reading TMF .
Thanks for moving forward when things got hard.
Thanks for never giving up.

Thanks for trying at all.

Even if I had some wise piece of advice I don't know that I would share it with myself.

I've grown over the last few years in ways I never imagined, and I truly believe it's because I didn't have all of the answers.

 

[Skys]

I would first let my old me understand why in life it's so important to create healthy habits and to learn how to make the right decisions.

I would learn him how to browse Amazon, and how to search for the best books available. Then I would teach him the same about Youtube, to show him that there is more on youtube then watching hiphop videoclips.

The biggest lesson I would try to bring home, is awareness. When I was 25, I was so stuck in my head that I knew it all.
This was because I lost my father when I was 17, and experienced lots of bad shit before the age of 20. This gave me a fake sense on entitlement. "Why would I listen to him, I have so much life experience.. I don't need to listen". On one hand, this was true. I knew nobody who experienced all the shit I went trough. On the other hand, I could have listened to more succesfull people. I could have listened to people who told me to gain skills and to gain knowledge.

I was completely blind for what happening around me, and I have been busy for the last 2 years to clean up the mess in my head.

I would advice him to not take drugs, alcohol and to have a great time with the people around him. Play hard, Work hard.

I would teach him the importance of work ethic and that's it better to fail then to never had tried at all.

I would teach him to surround himself with uplifting people who have ambition. People that really want to go get it. No matter if that's on an athletic, musical or business level. See, I made music with friends, but we never had that 100% engagement that made us really go for what we wanted.

I would teach him the power of full engagement. To love himself like Kanye West loves Kanye West.
To show him that its of utmost important to trust in oneself, while staying grounded in reality.

I would show him why formal educating is (most likely) bullshit. I would tell him that I studied for 10 years to end up with a coworker in my first job, who never studied at all, was a car salesman and nailed it way better then I did.

I would show him the importance of money. Not because of the big cars, which never did much for me, but for what I know this 25 kid does find important; Family. You can provide your family the world if you understand money. A great education, a great environment to grow your kids.

I would show him the power of letting go. Because in the end, all negative emotions end up in the upper side of your own back. Not in the back of the person you "hate".

I would show him the power of eating healthy and why it's not just about the bodyfat. I would show him that it's not shallow to care for your looks. Because, in the end it was never about the looks. It was about the mindset that developed while pulling heavy weights, while training 8 times a week and eating healthy. The feeling of strength from within, thats what I would have showed him

I would show him how it's better to focus on strengths. And to learn what those strengths are.
I would show him the difference between hard skills and soft skills.
I would show him how good it feels to bring value to the world. Even if that world is the small world you live in.

I would show him the difference between process and events and why it's so important to focus on process. Why it's so important to focus on outcomes rather then goals. I would show him that it's okay to have been a huge pimp. Because of being a pimp made him end up with this finest lady. Move in, and be happy.

Then, I would give him the link to www.thefastlaneforum.com. Because, even after he learned all that, he still can use mentors to keep growing and to get some tough love.

 

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[Breaking Free]

That World of Warcraft game becomes a chore and source of stress. Don't bother.

Oh, and self publishing will become a thing in a few years. Start writing. Now.

 

[royemunson]

I've thought about this many times over the years as I'm 10 years out of 25. I would tell myself many of the little tidbits I've learned over the years but let's face it I would not have listened to some "old guy" who thinks they know everything.

But if I saw myself 10 years ago...

Your decisions will shape where you go
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there
Nothing is certain
You will be a father and promise that kid that you will give him all you got no matter what happens
Your roughest waters are ahead of you so be prepared
With that said, you will go through one of the biggest challenges of your life - and if done right you'll become a better man
Focus on finding fulfillment in all areas of life - and stop chasing shit that doesn't matter
Figure out ways to add value to this world
Cherish your health and your loved ones - choose wisely who you let into your heart
Raise your standards - even when you think you can't and expect more of yourself - and push others around you to be more
Don't ever give up
Live with values, do the right thing, trust in God and the path you're on, and don't ever compromise what you believe in
Become mentally strong and work on improving yourself daily
Time is your most valuable asset - something you'll quickly learn as you get older

Good luck my young 25 year old friend - you will need it as you move forward!

Joe

 

[maverick]

You create your own reality.

Only you are responsible for creating your own path, your own happiness, your own life. Never blame this on circumstances or other people. Never be the victim.

Einstein said it well:
If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things

 

[Pete799p]

1. Stop being afraid. Every time you find yourself scared you need to reflect on the real reason, whether or not it is actually warranted, and figure out how to conqueror it. In fact you should write down right now what your biggest fear is and get started changing that. Mine was heights, which I have struggled with since I was a small child. Consequently I decided one day I was going to start rock climbing and I can say that it is now one of my favorite activities, I go almost every week. Do I still get freaked every once in a while, yes, but I have become much better at controlling it, and pushing through it. This has had a profound impact on my life overall.

2. Do not move somewhere you hate for any reason. There is no amount of money that can give me back the last 3 years of my life.

3. Anytime somebody who is not living the life you want gives you advice you should probably do the opposite, especially if they are in the 99%.

4. Believe in yourself. There is nothing that you cannot do if you believe. The worst thing is you get a great education upon failure. I had a mentor who lost it all in the real estate meltdown and had to declare bankruptcy. He dusted himself off and started a new rebuilding the empire piece by piece. Last I saw him he pulled up in a new Maserati. You can take away the money but never the knowledge.

5. If you are not in shape you need to start now, it's only going to get harder.