Essential lessons for young children...

[MJ DeMarco]

Question for those of you with young children (3-7 years old), if there was ONE essential concept that you could absolutely ingrain and teach in your child, what would it be?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking about writing a children's book (more pictures than words) but ultimately, I would like the book to teach children one (or more) of these core concepts that will help them in life.

For example, if I had a young child, I'd like to teach them the concept of a growth mindset, versus a fixed mindset. I'd like to let them know that their current circumstances doesn't need to be their future.

If you could ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that a particular mindset would burn into your child's mind, what would it be?

For me, it would be the fixed/growth mindset.

 

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[Jrjohnny]

Could I share something? Even though I don’t have kids, I love to hang out with them even since I was a toddler

( yesterday I was playing basketball, and a little boy comes up to me and I pass him the ball, he passes it back and we kept just playing)

If there would but ONE concept I would drill into them,

It would be: “you never have anything to lose and everything to gain when you pave a new path , but you always have everything to lose and nothing to gain when you follow the herd.”

I’m adding this, because that’s the one thing my mom told me when I was younger.

If your kids confused as what that means, you can follow that up with

That could be raising your hand when you think you have the right answer to a math question.

Or trying new food. Theres so many examples, and so many different things to try, when I have kids, that would probably one of many things I will attempt to drill into their heads.

Of which includes the growth mindset

Excited to see this new book MJ!

 

[MTF]

Never follow the herd. Always think for yourself.

And as the old quote goes, "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."

 

[ScreamingClown]

Question for those of you with young children (3-7 years old), if there was ONE essential concept that you could absolutely ingrain and teach in your child, what would it be?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking about writing a children's book (more pictures than words) but ultimately, I would like the book to teach children one (or more) of these core concepts that will help them in life.

For example, if I had a young child, I'd like to teach them the concept of a growth mindset, versus a fixed mindset. I'd like to let them know that their current circumstances doesn't need to be their future.

If you could ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that a particular mindset would burn into your child's mind, what would it be?

For me, it would be the fixed/growth mindset.

Compounding efforts and the benefits of delayed gratification would be two great things to teach a kid. I

Question for those of you with young children (3-7 years old), if there was ONE essential concept that you could absolutely ingrain and teach in your child, what would it be?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking about writing a children's book (more pictures than words) but ultimately, I would like the book to teach children one (or more) of these core concepts that will help them in life.

For example, if I had a young child, I'd like to teach them the concept of a growth mindset, versus a fixed mindset. I'd like to let them know that their current circumstances doesn't need to be their future.

If you could ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that a particular mindset would burn into your child's mind, what would it be?

For me, it would be the fixed/growth mindset.

Definitely the benefits of delayed gratification and compounding efforts, as they're essential to a happy and accomplished life.

 

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[Panos Daras]

• ALWAYS question authority.
• Bow to no one.
• Never complain. (If you find yourself complaining, stop)
• See people for what they are (flawed) not as bad or as good as you want them to be.
• ALWAYS use the scientific method.

Sorry cannot pick one. A growth mindset is also always on the list.

 

[Kevin88660]

Question for those of you with young children (3-7 years old), if there was ONE essential concept that you could absolutely ingrain and teach in your child, what would it be?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking about writing a children's book (more pictures than words) but ultimately, I would like the book to teach children one (or more) of these core concepts that will help them in life.

For example, if I had a young child, I'd like to teach them the concept of a growth mindset, versus a fixed mindset. I'd like to let them know that their current circumstances doesn't need to be their future.

If you could ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that a particular mindset would burn into your child's mind, what would it be?

For me, it would be the fixed/growth mindset.

I would say it's adversity quotient.

It is much of an underrated quality compared to IQ and EQ.

 

[Robdavis]

I haven't got any kids, but I'd like to try to make a contribution to this thread if I may.

I think that if I had a kid, I would try to teach them that the world is always more complex than they think that it is. So they should practice staying curious and paying attention to their surroundings.


The other point that I thought of is that young kids, like the 3 - 7 year olds that you are writing for, often learn better through play than through more formal learning. So if there is anything that you can do to add gamification to your book, it might help with the learning process.

For example, it might be possible to get the kid to do something as they read the book in order to score points and so at the end of the book they have a total. If their score sucks, then they can just read the book again and get a better score.

Another possibility, although a lot more difficult, would be to add a website to the book and to put some kind of interactive experience on it in order to increase the game possibilities. So the kid had to read something in the book to do something on the website or vice versa to get the points.

Another option might be to teach the kid a skill in the book as a lived experience of say for example a growth mindset. So you might start by saying, "I bet that you can't juggle three balls / beanbags at once" or "I bet that you can't juggle two balls / beanbags with one hand" and then by the end of the book, they would have been encouraged to practice their skill so they can do it. Juggling was just an example that I thought of, it could be anything a bit unusual.

For example, if I had a young child, I'd like to teach them the concept of a growth mindset, versus a fixed mindset.

Sorry MJ, but this quote is bugging me a lot. AFAIK, young kids naturally tend toward a growth mindset anyway. So it seems to me that a fixed mindset is what people learn as they get older and they build up limiting beliefs and experiences. So I think that you could consider encouraging kids to hold onto their growth mindsets rather than having to teach them what a growth mindset is. If you don't believe me, then consider, how many eight year olds do you know that are the same as when they were four? Growth is all that young kids have known. Their bodies are growing and their knowledge and skills should be growing at school.

I'd like to let them know that their current circumstances doesn't need to be their future.

This is also bugging me, because kids have very little freedom. Like if you are a kid and you want to do something and your parents say "no", then that's it. You can't do it because you are not allowed. For example, if you wanted to move to another state, you could just go, but if you wanted to move house and you were ten years old, then the likelihood is that your mum wouldn't let you and that would be final. Your dream would lie in tatters, whether or not you had a growth mindset or whether you had read an inspirational book or not.

For example, it is a legal requirement in the UK for kids to go to school, or to have equivalent home schooling. If you are are kid and you want to quit school because you think that it sucks, you can't without you or your parents getting into trouble with the law and the police.

The amount of freedom that we get by leaving home is phenomenal and your prospective readers likely won't have that yet. So if you inspire kids to go and do what they want, then likely quite a lot of them will just get into trouble and your book will get lousy reviews saying "this book encouraged my child to misbehave, do not buy it."

I hope that this reply is useful to you and that you don't find it awkward. I understand that you might be annoyed by my not fully agreeing with everything that you say. Feel free to delete this post if you don't like it.

I wish you every success for the book.

 

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[AaronA]

Question for those of you with young children (3-7 years old), if there was ONE essential concept that you could absolutely ingrain and teach in your child, what would it be?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking about writing a children's book (more pictures than words) but ultimately, I would like the book to teach children one (or more) of these core concepts that will help them in life.

For example, if I had a young child, I'd like to teach them the concept of a growth mindset, versus a fixed mindset. I'd like to let them know that their current circumstances doesn't need to be their future.

If you could ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that a particular mindset would burn into your child's mind, what would it be?

For me, it would be the fixed/growth mindset.

+1 on growth mindset. My biggest thing with my four kids (5-12) is self responsibility first. Clearly that’s not the only lesson, but to me it’s the foundation of a meaningful and flourishing life.

 

[msufan]

• ALWAYS question authority.
• Bow to no one.
• Never complain. (If you find yourself complaining, stop)
• See people for what they are (flawed) not as bad or as good as you want them to be.
• ALWAYS use the scientific method.

Sorry cannot pick one. A growth mindset is also always on the list.

Former elementary teacher here: This is way older than ages 3-7. Kids ages 3-7 lack nuance.

"Always question authority" is a harmful suggestion if the teacher says "follow me quickly -- the school building is on fire!"

Most of what is described in this thread is far, far, far beyond young children's thinking.

Growth mindset could work if you frame it positively: "The power of YET" -- "I can't tie my shoes... yet!" "I can't read... yet!" "But if I keep practicing and don't give up, I know I can learn to do anything!"

Khan Academy (still for an older audience) tried to do something similar (in a video) here:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC82Il2cjqA

 

[msufan]

AFAIK, young kids naturally tend toward a growth mindset anyway. So it seems to me that a fixed mindset is what people learn as they get older and they build up limiting beliefs and experiences. So I think that you could consider encouraging kids to hold onto their growth mindsets rather than having to teach them what a growth mindset is. If you don't believe me, then consider, how many eight year olds do you know that are the same as when they were four? Growth is all that young kids have known. Their bodies are growing and their knowledge and skills should be growing at school.

100% this. Ask a classroom full of kindergarteners who is an artist, and 99% of them will raise their hands. Ask a class of middle schoolers, and 2-3 kids will raise their hands. Most of the posts in this thread (with the exception of this one from Rob) are viewing children as miniature adults which they decidedly are not.

 

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[Kevin88660]

I haven't got any kids, but I'd like to try to make a contribution to this thread if I may.

I think that if I had a kid, I would try to teach them that the world is always more complex than they think that it is. So they should practice staying curious and paying attention to their surroundings.


The other point that I thought of is that young kids, like the 3 - 7 year olds that you are writing for, often learn better through play than through more formal learning. So if there is anything that you can do to add gamification to your book, it might help with the learning process.

For example, it might be possible to get the kid to do something as they read the book in order to score points and so at the end of the book they have a total. If their score sucks, then they can just read the book again and get a better score.

Another possibility, although a lot more difficult, would be to add a website to the book and to put some kind of interactive experience on it in order to increase the game possibilities. So the kid had to read something in the book to do something on the website or vice versa to get the points.

Another option might be to teach the kid a skill in the book as a lived experience of say for example a growth mindset. So you might start by saying, "I bet that you can't juggle three balls / beanbags at once" or "I bet that you can't juggle two balls / beanbags with one hand" and then by the end of the book, they would have been encouraged to practice their skill so they can do it. Juggling was just an example that I thought of, it could be anything a bit unusual.



Sorry MJ, but this quote is bugging me a lot. AFAIK, young kids naturally tend toward a growth mindset anyway. So it seems to me that a fixed mindset is what people learn as they get older and they build up limiting beliefs and experiences. So I think that you could consider encouraging kids to hold onto their growth mindsets rather than having to teach them what a growth mindset is. If you don't believe me, then consider, how many eight year olds do you know that are the same as when they were four? Growth is all that young kids have known. Their bodies are growing and their knowledge and skills should be growing at school.



This is also bugging me, because kids have very little freedom. Like if you are a kid and you want to do something and your parents say "no", then that's it. You can't do it because you are not allowed. For example, if you wanted to move to another state, you could just go, but if you wanted to move house and you were ten years old, then the likelihood is that your mum wouldn't let you and that would be final. You dream would lie in tatters, whether or not you had a growth mindset or whether you had read an inspirational book or not.

For example, it is a legal requirement in the UK for kids to go to school, or to have equivalent home schooling. If you are are kid and you want to quit school because you think that it sucks, you can't without you or your parents getting into trouble with the law and the police.

The amount of freedom that we get by leaving home is phenomenal and your prospective readers likely won't have that yet. So if you inspire kids to go and do what they want, then likely quite a lot of them will just get into trouble and your book will get lousy reviews saying "this book encouraged my child to misbehave, do not buy it."

I hope that this reply is useful to you and that you don't find it awkward. I understand that you might be annoyed by my not fully agreeing with everything that you say. Feel free to delete this post if you don't like it.

I wish you every success for the book.

There are two schools of thoughts of education. One school of thought believe kids should develop their strength and manage their weakness. This tends to put label at kids at a younger age and that could hinder their growth.

The other school of thought focuses more on training and progression which is totally a different school of thought.

Belief one : If you are weak in math you should train enough to cope with basic arithmatics and focus on other strength like art.

Belief two: If you are weak in math you should practise more so that you can become good.

 

[Aaron_S]

Growth mindset is great and would be the top of my list. The problem is it feels like every children's book and children's show goes for that topic.

I would like to see a children's book on navigation or generally anything in the "What to do in an emergency" or "How to be self reliant" categories for very young children.

 

[Panos Daras]

Former elementary teacher here: This is way older than ages 3-7. Kids ages 3-7 lack nuance.

I disagree. My daughter is 3 and I always explain to her WHY we follow x,y,z rule. We do not follow it because I said so and we do not follow it because I am her father/ authority! She gets it quite well actually unlike... most teachers.

Why? Well, because I take time to explain to her that's why. I frequently ask her why we do x,y, and z. And I commend her when she knows the answer, within 30 seconds.

From my experience, most teachers are lazy and do not want to explain the WHY. Explaining the why takes effort. It is not their fault They are also people. And people will most of the time take the path of least resistance.

 

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[Akaushra]

work twice as harder than everyone else.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

The problem is it feels like every children's book and children's show goes for that topic.

Any examples?

I haven't seen it.

Perhaps I should reconfigure my age range to teens.

A growth mindset does seem pretty natural to children, until their fixed-mindset parents f*ck them up.

 

[ZackerySprague]

Stay away from debt, don't take out credit cards or student loans. Favor hardwork and solving problems over passion for a job.

Show empathy towards everyone. No matter your level. Put up the phone and appreciate those around you.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Here's a great example of what I was thinking...

GOLD! - MINDSET - The rarest Reddit find of all... actual gold. (Legendary Comic)

Author: http://zenpencils.com/

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[Wombat]

Perhaps I should reconfigure my age range to teens.

Please do. Last year I read TMF to my then 11 year old son (editing it to a PG rating).
The emphasis on having an internal locus of control made a huge impression on him; I'd say that was his most important takeaway. Understanding the power of fastlane and generally having a growth mindset was also highly valuable, but secondary to the above.

 

[msufan]

Any examples?

I haven't seen it.

Perhaps I should reconfigure my age range to teens.

A growth mindset does seem pretty natural to children, until their fixed-mindset parents f*ck them up.

Yes, you should 100% reconfigure for teens if you move forward with this.

Just type "growth mindset" into amazon and you'll see an endless slew of kid-centered books and materials. Growth mindset has been done to death. I think every single school in America has made it a top theme for more than a decade now. Carol Zweck's original research on this topic came out in 2006.

The comic you linked in a later post is also meant for teens and adults, not little children.

I have to be honest: this does not seem like you are playing to your strengths here.

 

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[Akaushra]

Yes, you should 100% reconfigure for teens if you move forward with this.

Just type "growth mindset" into amazon and you'll see an endless slew of kid-centered books and materials. Growth mindset has been done to death. I think every single school in America has made it a top theme for more than a decade now. Carol Zweck's original research on this topic came out in 2006.

The comic you linked in a later post is also meant for teens and adults, not little children.

I have to be honest: this does not seem like you are playing to your strengths here.

Definatley agree. As a middle-school goer we are constantly barraged with growth mindset and work hard... but not many people actually listen...

 

[AceVentures]

The principle thing I'm teaching my daughter is a curious mode of operation. I question things with her in a silly way so she remains in a playful state of learning. "What is this thing? Wow why would it be like this? Can you imagine what makes this go like this? That's crazy huh look at this thing it goes spinny, why does it go spinny like this?"

 

[Aaron_S]

Any examples?

I haven't seen it.

Perhaps I should reconfigure my age range to teens.

A growth mindset does seem pretty natural to children, until their fixed-mindset parents f*ck them up.

The Little Engine That Could

PBS Kids

The Bluey episode "Obstacle Course"

Daniel the Tiger "Persistence"

Yeah that age group really gets a heavy dose of "Keep Trying and Stay Positive" which they already seem to naturally have.

 

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[Johnny boy]

No kids (that I know of)

But children look at adults like they are infallible. They take everything at face value. When an adult says “X is good”, a kid thinks “X must be good, they said so”.

They never think “maybe this person is just repeating what they heard, maybe they’re an idiot”.

Some people never grow out of this, transferring the responsibility of critical thought to someone else.

This is the fundamental mode of thinking of the sidewalk and slowlane wage slavers, and sheep in general.

They never realize that the grownups whose opinions they trust, might just be stupid kids who got older. And that’s usually the case.

This “handoff” of critical thinking happens at a young age and continues on and on. The kid listens to mommy and daddy. Then he goes to school and listens to the teachers. The coaches on his sports team, the professors at school, the bosses at work, and the government. They never think for themselves. It’s always looking around for instructions. “What do I do?” And then “am I doing it right?” Always seeking approval and fitting in.

The central theme I would implant into the mind of a child is that they must think critically and not take everything at face value. To filter every word from others, including adults, with the understanding that they might just be a moron, it might be an opinion because the person is emotionally reacting, etc.

There can be so many allegories for this. Following the crowd, a never ending game of telephone, the blind leading the blind. The key would be to tie this into REAL LIFE so they cannot miss the obvious lesson.

When I have a kid I will be telling him example after example, story after story, drilling these sort of macro psychology ideas into his head.

 

[Guest931Xfjyx]

To endure hardship, and then secondly, to show him the hardships worth enduring.

Put him in sports. Don’t give him everything he ever wanted and make him work for it. Give him chores and yardwork for pay. Have high expectations alongside emotional support. Surround him with friendly competition.

 

[theplannerr]

Try to be as Truthful and Loving as possible.

 

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[MTF]

Any examples?

I haven't seen it.

Perhaps I should reconfigure my age range to teens.

A growth mindset does seem pretty natural to children, until their fixed-mindset parents f*ck them up.

I think that your style would work better for teenagers.

Ask for younger kids, you may get some inspiration from Andy Frisella's book series about Otis and Charlie:

Otis and Charley's Hardworking Tails Collection

Here's your chance to get the whole collection! Otis and Charley's Hardworking Tails gives you the tool to teach kids the principles they need to be successful, in a way that they can easily relate to and understand at a young age. The Otis and Charley Hardworking Tails Collection contains all 7...

andyfrisella.com

 

[amp0193]

Question for those of you with young children (3-7 years old), if there was ONE essential concept that you could absolutely ingrain and teach in your child, what would it be?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm thinking about writing a children's book (more pictures than words) but ultimately, I would like the book to teach children one (or more) of these core concepts that will help them in life.

For example, if I had a young child, I'd like to teach them the concept of a growth mindset, versus a fixed mindset. I'd like to let them know that their current circumstances doesn't need to be their future.

If you could ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that a particular mindset would burn into your child's mind, what would it be?

For me, it would be the fixed/growth mindset.

Nailed it.

Growth mindset 100%.

It's soul crushing to watch you kids give up and say "I Can't".

I'm just trying to get them to add the word "yet".

 

[Kak]

Taking responsibility.

Valuing honesty.

Not accepting "I can't." Or finding a way.

Becoming someone other people can count on. Keeping word.

Excuses and blame are the foundation of a one of the most rampant character flaws.

I won't raise a child to have an external locus.

 

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[Andy Black]

Manners. Saying please and thank you, especially thank you to waiters and waitresses. It means they have to pay attention to when someone has done something for them. It makes them speak up to adults, and realise they themselves can make others feel better with a couple of words.

Being honest.

Doing what they say they'll do.

Keep solving problems. (Don't give up before they start).

Remaining cheerful instead of complaining (this one is tough with small kids).

Treating people how they want to be treated.

Removing "I can't" from their vocabulary, unless it's followed by "yet".

Remove "I hate", and "I want" from their vocabulary too.

 

[Andy Black]

@MJ DeMarco ... ask that on social media if you haven't already.