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Carny

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This may throw some of you for a loop since it's for my slowlane business and will actually be printed in a phone book :nailbiting:, but I would appreciate some feedback.

I'm trying to get away from a huge list of services offered since that's what most companies do, but I did list a few of the higher profit items.

What would be important to you if you were hiring a plumber? A high percentage of customers are women btw.

Thanks for your help!
Green Country YP Ad2.jpg
 

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GuestUser450

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I help a friend with his HVAC company and it's surprising how many folks still use the phone book. It's often overlooked.

The picture is great. But the rusty wrench next to the negative "mess" ad copy might make people think. I'd reconsider the tag, and maybe just a profile pic. I could be completely wrong on this though; not a woman.

I agree that most try to list every service, but it also looks like you're paying for a lot of empty space. Maybe add more detail re: if you do emergency services at no extra charge, free callbacks, senior/military discounts, etc.

Also, if you have set prices for standard stuff like unclogs or installations, it might work to list them in the ad like a coupon: Unclog Any Drain*: $97, Water Heater+Installation: $799. I don;t know your numbers, but you get the gist.
 

Silverhawk851

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My feedback would be> C-
but then again numbers tell the ultimate truth


Reduce size of logo and increase visibility of headline.
especially in print advertising, where real estate to convey message is limited

Secondly, focus on the benefit, not the feature.
People don't buy things, they buy results and feelings.
They buy a version of themselves.
E.g You don't buy a big house, you buy 'status'.
You don't buy life insurance, you buy security for your family.

Plumbing I think is an emergency thing,
nobody is getting plumbing checkups.

So sell them "We get everything back to normal within the hour."
Or whatever time it takes

thirdly, use before and after picture where you can.
Or show a picture of the problem, or something similar that they are going through.

Fourth, make it too easy to say refuse! "Well give you a free checkup and advice."
"No charges unless we can help you" or something along those lines
Concept of a lead magnet.

Your goal with all cold-advertising is CUSTOMER ACQUISITION for the lowest price possible.
Goal is NOT to sell them in the ad.
You just need to get them in the door.

Once they are on the phone, or you're in the house, that's when you sell them and make money.
That is by offering increasing value offers. $99 fix. $500 plumbing cleaning. $2k new plumbing.

You offer, they accept, you provide value, then you offer larger value.
Concept of the Value Ladder.

Thats my 2c from my experience

Thanks for posting, enjoyed writing that up Lol
:)
 
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biophase

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Is this ad going to be in color in the phone book???

The word GREEN is very hard to read.

I like the photo. Are you the actual person who will be showing up if I called?
 

healthstatus

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This may throw some of you for a loop since it's for my slowlane business and will actually be printed in a phone book :nailbiting:, but I would appreciate some feedback.

I'm trying to get away from a huge list of services offered since that's what most companies do, but I did list a few of the higher profit items.

What would be important to you if you were hiring a plumber? A high percentage of customers are women btw.
I agree logo is too big, (unless you are very well known in your community)

Large wrench gives the impression you work on big stuff, probably not the small vanity in the downstairs half bath. Is "we don't leave a mess" your key selling point? or is it, "fast help is just a phone call away", or "best plumbers at the lowest prices?", in other words, if water is spewing out somewhere it shouldn't or not draining from where it should, the last thing on my mind is "will the plumber leave a mess?" How often do you walk into a clients house and they say, the hot water feed in the master bath needs to be replaced? If the answer is rarely or never, then why do you talk about pipe replacement and repairs? Ditto with video drain inspections. Something more like, "we have the latest equipment to get your water flowing and drains draining." Tankless water heaters, do you install them or repair them? (do you see it isn't clear).
 

LateStarter

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Along with the suggestions of the others, here are mine:
  • Logo font is hard to read. Can you change it?
  • I'd put more separation between the logo frame and the phone number.
  • Size/Kern the phone number to match the width of the "Servicing..."
  • Dump the italics
  • Bullet the list of services.
  • I agree with the 'negative' element of the quote/slogan. Re-write it in the positive. Also either make it one line or two full lines. A single word on the second line just looks weird IMHO.
  • Since the picture is of the owner, add quotes the the slogan. Make it sound like a personal promise from him. It makes him more relateable and trustworthy.
  • I'd also move his name behind his head. Draw attention back to the phone number rather than down to the next ad.

Here's a quick sample of some initial changes I'd make.


upload_2016-4-4_15-44-17.png
 

Dwight Schrute

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What would be important to you if you were hiring a plumber?
Trust in the company and their service.

I'd do something like this:
3 Tricks To <Insert low-profit headache service here>
  • blah
  • blah
  • and the third blah. The blahs are the 20% that produce 80% of results.
Too late?/Need A Hand?

CALL [Your Number] For Immediate Help
[Your ] "Clean and professional service
[Head ] since 1987."
[Here ] - Your Name, Owner
www.greencountryplumbing.com

<List the Results of high-profit Services at the end>

While the competition yells "I'm the best! Buy my shit!!", you are
actually helping people without asking for money. <-----"The Astonishing Secrets" at work!

Helping people. In an ad! How cool is that?!

This would establish trust, even if the reader doesn't need your service yet.

Just my 2 cents :)
 

Kung Fu Steve

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I hate to be a dick but there's so much wrong with this ad it's hard to start without giving you a 50-hour seminar... but I hope you take that with a grain of salt because I'd love to help.

What's wrong:

1. The ad is filled with platitudes. Every single plumber in the phone book offers "complete plumbing services" and they are all "licensed, bonded, and insured" and of course they have all "served the area since 1987". If you think I'm even remotely joking that every ad your competition has in the phone book (and online) say the same exact thing -- I challenge you to find one that DOESN'T and post it here.... in fact here's a quick google search of ads for plumbers... count how many have those things:

https://www.google.com/search?q=plu...ved=0ahUKEwj8kNz-_fXLAhVE8CYKHfeEC-gQ_AUIBigB

2. There is no call to action. You've clearly listed your phone number but you don't even tell people to call or WHY they should call YOU.

3. Industry Jargon. Sell me the BENEFIT of picking you. Nobody knows what a tankless water heater is or why they would need it (what is the benefit of a water heater?), nobody knows/cares what a video drain inspection is (why the hell would I need that/what is it?), drain cleaning... I thought I could do that myself with Draino... pipe repairs and replacement... okay what is the benefit?

3. "No mess guarantee". You're lying -- but that's because every plumber lies. They always leave a mess. You're the same as roofers. You say you'll clean everything up and yet I find a nail in my tire next week. Nobody cares about the guarantee -- they care about not actually having to clean up shit after you leave. We all know plumbers have dirty workboots and jeans, their asscrack is hanging out, and they are going to leave a trail of dirt in and out of the house.

How to fix it:

1. The platitude test. Your customer should never respond to something with the words "I would hope so!" In other words, when you write down "complete plumbing services" they are more than likely thinking "duh. you're a plumber. I would hope so!"

When you write "licensed, bonded, and insured" they are thinking "I would hope so!"

The second test is the scratch out/write in test. If you can scratch out your name and put in the name of your competitor and the ad is EXTREMELY close to being the same thing... something's REALLY wrong.

You have to be different than all of them...

...

...

Shit, you know what? I'm too lazy to write this right now.

So if you PM me I'll send you over a set of ads you can use, what your website should look like (because that's pretty bad, too :wtf:), and if you want the script for my educational sales pitch (so you see how I apply everything -- can't seem to find the old video) I would give to sell one of these packages to a plumber like yourself -- I'll just give it all to you.

I charged anywhere form 15-35k for a package like this but I rarely do consulting anymore and even then I charge quite a bit more than that so I'll just give it to you.
 

Carny

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Mar 20, 2013
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Green Country Ad.jpg

Here's one I was working on before I saw the replies.

I agree that most try to list every service, but it also looks like you're paying for a lot of empty space.
I was hoping the blank space would make me stand out. Maybe give the eyes a place to rest.


My feedback would be> C-
but then again numbers tell the ultimate truth


Reduce size of logo and increase visibility of headline.
especially in print advertising, where real estate to convey message is limited

Secondly, focus on the benefit, not the feature.
People don't buy things, they buy results and feelings.
They buy a version of themselves.
E.g You don't buy a big house, you buy 'status'.
You don't buy life insurance, you buy security for your family.

Plumbing I think is an emergency thing,
nobody is getting plumbing checkups.

So sell them "We get everything back to normal within the hour."
Or whatever time it takes

thirdly, use before and after picture where you can.
Or show a picture of the problem, or something similar that they are going through.

Fourth, make it too easy to say refuse! "Well give you a free checkup and advice."
"No charges unless we can help you" or something along those lines
Concept of a lead magnet.

Your goal with all cold-advertising is CUSTOMER ACQUISITION for the lowest price possible.
Goal is NOT to sell them in the ad.
You just need to get them in the door.

Once they are on the phone, or you're in the house, that's when you sell them and make money.
That is by offering increasing value offers. $99 fix. $500 plumbing cleaning. $2k new plumbing.

You offer, they accept, you provide value, then you offer larger value.
Concept of the Value Ladder.

Thats my 2c from my experience

Thanks for posting, enjoyed writing that up Lol
:)


There is a lot of good information there, that I will use, but it seems like a lot to have in a small YP ad. I will definitely use that on my website and what I can on this ad. Thank you!

Trust in the company and their service.

I'd do something like this:


While the competition yells "I'm the best! Buy my shit!!", you are
actually helping people without asking for money. <-----"The Astonishing Secrets" at work!

Helping people. In an ad! How cool is that?!

This would establish trust, even if the reader doesn't need your service yet.

Just my 2 cents :)

That would definitely be different! I like the idea and will do a mock up to compare. Thanks!
 

Carny

Bronze Contributor
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Mar 20, 2013
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Is this ad going to be in color in the phone book???

The word GREEN is very hard to read.

I like the photo. Are you the actual person who will be showing up if I called?

Yes, ad will be in full color in the phone book. I agree on the Green being hard to read. Yes, that is me in the photo and I am the one that shows up (for now at least). Thanks
 

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Carny

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Mar 20, 2013
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I'll go through these and let you know why I have them. Not being defensive and I'm not attached to anything, just giving a reason.

1. The ad is filled with platitudes. Every single plumber in the phone book offers "complete plumbing services" and they are all "licensed, bonded, and insured" and of course they have all "served the area since 1987". If you think I'm even remotely joking that every ad your competition has in the phone book (and online) say the same exact thing -- I challenge you to find one that DOESN'T and post it here.... in fact here's a quick google search of ads for plumbers... count how many have those things:

https://www.google.com/search?q=plu...ved=0ahUKEwj8kNz-_fXLAhVE8CYKHfeEC-gQ_AUIBigB

The license part is required by the state. There are a lot of new plumbers around here and very few that have been around as long as my company. Since it's a phone book ad most of the people are older and stuff like that is more important to them.

2. There is no call to action. You've clearly listed your phone number but you don't even tell people to call or WHY they should call YOU.

True. I just took it for granted that since they are actively looking for a plumber all I had to do was have a nice looking ad.

3. Industry Jargon. Sell me the BENEFIT of picking you. Nobody knows what a tankless water heater is or why they would need it (what is the benefit of a water heater?), nobody knows/cares what a video drain inspection is (why the hell would I need that/what is it?), drain cleaning... I thought I could do that myself with Draino... pipe repairs and replacement... okay what is the benefit?

Duly noted. I wasn't sure how to go about listing benefits without my ad seeming too crowded.

3. "No mess guarantee". You're lying -- but that's because every plumber lies. They always leave a mess. You're the same as roofers. You say you'll clean everything up and yet I find a nail in my tire next week. Nobody cares about the guarantee -- they care about not actually having to clean up shit after you leave. We all know plumbers have dirty workboots and jeans, their asscrack is hanging out, and they are going to leave a trail of dirt in and out of the house.

The guarantee was Latestarter's idea! I just said I don't leave a mess. That is actually true. The shirt in the pic is what I wear to work. I clean up after myself and if I'm really dirty I change clothes before my next job. I also wear shoe covers if needed. That's one of the reasons I even mentioned in the ad. It's true and sets me apart from the thousand other plumbers.

So if you PM me I'll send you over a set of ads you can use, what your website should look like (because that's pretty bad, too :wtf:),

I know the website is bad. I threw it together just to have SOMETHING. The truth is I haven't focused much on advertising because I don't really need to. I stay busy without it so I haven't spent much time on it. I'm wanting to grow so I'm looking to get things updated.

I sent a pm. Thank you!
 

Carny

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Ok, my wife is a bit attached to the logo. So here it is with a few of the suggestions:

Green Country YP Adx.jpg
 

Supa

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Ok, my wife is a bit attached to the logo. So here it is with a few of the suggestions:

View attachment 11931

Why should people who need a plumber care about your logo?! They care about getting their stuff repared as soon as possible and get back to normality.

There's no reason in making your logo the biggest thing on your ad, except if you're Google or Apple where their names alone sell products. Sell your value for your customers, not your designer's abilities.

You asked for advice and you got some great one, especially by @Silverhawk851 so take it and use it.
 

throttleforward

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Ok, my wife is a bit attached to the logo. So here it is with a few of the suggestions:

View attachment 11931
I like ads that get the customer to say "yes" to a problem, then offer a solution plus benefits

For instance:

Do you have a Plumbing EMERGENCY?
Leaking (or gushing!) pipe?
Clogged Toilet?
Flooded Basement?

Put my 15 years of experience to work for you. You problem will be solved quickly and completely the first time, or we'll do the follow up repair for free!

Check out our customer testimonials and repair tips on our website:www.website.com

24/7 emergency service available. Call or email now to get on our schedule!

This isn't perfect, but it gets the readers' attention, allows you to connect with their problems, establish yourself as the pumping authority, reduces risk to the customer, has a call to action, and provides social proof.

By the way your logo needs to be on the bottom right, very small, under your picture. As an aside, I love the picture!
 
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mrarcher

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you get my 100th post! Change serving the area since to something like plumbing specialists since. Make it sound as if you are the specialists and not just another plumber. Also I would maybe change the word owner to either proprietor or engineer even.
 

100k

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Based on some of the feedback.

 

Lone Wolf

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I don't like the original, way too messy imo.

I'm also not a fan of the logo - it's pretty hard to read, and you said yourself it'll be an older audience looking through the phone book, so it's an unnecessary annoyance.

Would recommend either a tidier ad (like @LateStarter posted, however, without the logo), or an attention grabbing ad like @100k's example.
 

Carny

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I should have mentioned that quite a few customers do look for me by name. Should I ditch the logo completely and have my name in text?
 

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Supa

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I should have mentioned that quite a few customers do look for me by name. Should I ditch the logo completely and have my name in text?

Your logo should be there for brand awareness but you need to think like your potential customers, they are looking for a solution to their problem, they don't care if you love your logo so much that you want it to be the second biggest thing on your ad. A great way to show your logo IMO would be to photoshop it onto your t-shirt (arm), makes it natural (if done like it is printed on the t-shirt.)
 

Carny

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Your logo should be there for brand awareness but you need to think like your potential customers, they are looking for a solution to their problem, they don't care if you love your logo so much that you want it to be the second biggest thing on your ad. A great way to show your logo IMO would be to photoshop it onto your t-shirt (arm), makes it natural (if done like it is printed on the t-shirt.)


I definitely don't love the logo, I was just using it to show the name. This is a half page ad in a small phone book, so the ad will be roughly 5"x4". I'm afraid the logo on my sleeve will just look like a green blob.
 

MJ DeMarco

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I give the ad a D.

If it wasn't for the smiling face of the plumber it would be an F. The guy looks happy and trustwowrthy- and people want to do business with happy and trustworthy people.

The logo is terrible. The copy, terrible.

Won't repeat what others have said, but they are in the ballpark.

Put a picture of the logo and $100 bill on the table in front of her and ask which she wants more.

Exactly. Does his wife want to feel good about the logo or does she want to make money?
 

Veloce Grey

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That logo is fairly brutal, in fact I'd rank it up there with MJ's famously terrible orange lambo book cover. It's a nice little visual pun, it just doesn't really work as a logo.

As MJ points out though you're starting with the advantage that you do happen to look like a "happy and trustworthy" plumber. At first glance I thought you must have searched stock photo sites for "good looking tradesman carrying large weapon".

(I'd like to thank you and Google for introducing me to what a "pipe wrench" is-apparently a plumbing tool which looks like it could prove highly useful in any zombie apocalypse)
 

ddzc

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Awesome responses and suggestions which can provide value for any business owner or entrepreneur out there. No point in repeating everything, but I definitely agree with reducing the size of the logo and actually changing it. The logo alone was a complete eyesore and it was the first thing which turned me off about the ad. I probably would have skipped to the next ad after my eyes were shattered by that logo.
 

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