• The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success
  1. Join 40,000+ entrepreneurs
    who are kicking butt and
    winning their dream life.

    Unscripted™ Entrepreneurship:
    A Business That Pays More Than Money, It Pays Time.

    "Fastlane" is an entrepreneur discussion forum based on The Unscripted Entrepreneurial Framework (TUNEF) outlined in the two best-selling books by MJ DeMarco (The Millionaire Fastlane and UNSCRIPTED™). From multimillionaires to digital nomads, the forum features real entrepreneurs creating real businesses.

    Download (Unscripted) Download (Millionaire Fastlane)  Register
    Registering for the forum removes this block!

  2. Forum *Official* Book Discussion
    Atomic Habits by James Clear

    The forum has voted to discuss this book. Grab it, discussion begins soon!
    Buy: Buy | Discuss: Atomic Habits, by James Clear (Review | Discuss)

OFF-TOPIC What is the lowest point in your life you can remember?

Discussion in 'Off Topic: Sports, Funnies, Pop-Culture' started by Rob Burgundy, Dec 11, 2007.

  1. Rob Burgundy
    Offline

    Rob Burgundy New Contributor

    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Location:
    SLC UT
    Rep Bank:
    $34
    444444
     
    Yankees338 and AroundTheWorld like this.
  2. nomadjanet
    Offline

    nomadjanet Contributor

    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    51
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
    Location:
    TX
    Rep Bank:
    $182
    Wow thats a vary vivid description of your experiance. I can see that it is still with you on a very basic level. I must admit I have lost those vivid memories of bad times. I can think of them now and remember them but I lose the details unless someone brings them up to me.
    Janet
     
  3. Rob Burgundy
    Offline

    Rob Burgundy New Contributor

    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Location:
    SLC UT
    Rep Bank:
    $34
    444444
     
  4. SteveO
    Offline

    SteveO Legendary Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

    Messages:
    3,411
    Likes Received:
    13,244
    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $91,853
    My parents divorced when I was in 10th grade. We lived on welfare at that point. My mother was a schizophrenic and did not have the ability to comprehend much. Our diet was Doritos and Pepsi for the most part. I found myself bounced out of a few schools and joined the marines at the early age of 17. It turns out that we didn't get along either and I was out on the street before I was 18.

    i lived in my car (anyone know what a Simca is?) for a few weeks stopping in at people's places to shower on occasion. My car did not run very well and it seemed that I had to spend a lot of time keeping it going. I got a job as a landscaper making $2.65 per hour which was minimum wage at the time. I didn't go without a job again until I chose to leave at 39 years of age.

    It sucked!
     
  5. Diane Kennedy
    Offline

    Diane Kennedy Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    795
    Likes Received:
    204
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $134
    The lowest point in my life is something that happened a lot of years ago..but that I've only recently started talking about. It happened when my husband disappeared. Over 3 years later, his body was discovered. He'd committed suicide in the mountains about 20 miles from our home in Reno - probably that first night.

    Those years were, in a way, a defining time in my life because no matter how bad something seems to be now, it's never as bad as that time. And, I don't freak out over little stuff.
     
    michael515 likes this.
  6. kurtyordy
    Offline

    kurtyordy Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    2,376
    Likes Received:
    271
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
    Location:
    PA
    Rep Bank:
    $215
    Three years ago I earned less than 20k. We were anticipating the adoption of of child #3, and everything I touched seemed to turn to crap. I was still selling R.E., and realized that it was not for me, but everywhere I looked, no jobs were opening for me. I could not provide for my family, we were wiping out our savings, and I was not sure how I would pay for the adoption fees, our child was due soon, aaaaaahhhhh. What a difference 3 years makes.
     
  7. Rob Burgundy
    Offline

    Rob Burgundy New Contributor

    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Location:
    SLC UT
    Rep Bank:
    $34
    Im so sorry to hear that. Im glad he was eventually discovered though so at least you could have some closure to the mystery.
     
  8. AndrewG
    Offline

    AndrewG Contributor

    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    30
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $51
    Amazing stories. This shows why we're all in the fastlane today.
     
  9. Rawr
    Offline

    Rawr Gold Contributor Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    1,801
    Likes Received:
    1,647
    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Location:
    south florida
    Rep Bank:
    $5,483
    This thread makes me realize how much my mother did for me, being a single parent and all. Looking back I can't honestly say I had a point where I was like "I want to quit" - when I was young I knew we had almost nothing, so I was jealous of my friends who were getting all the new toys and clothes.. the cool thing they shared - I had plenty of toys to play with because of them and clothes to wear - like they say don't have $100, have 100 friends.
    Recently though, being in college, I had some moments. Paying for school by yourself means when you have a $1 to spend on a junior whopper is a cause for celebration. I am 25k in student loans so I am determined not to write more in this thread a few years from now..
    Ive cooked myself potatoes+eggs for a few weeks in college. I was ecstatic when I could afford hot dogs and cheese to add to the mix.
     
  10. ErikV10
    Offline

    ErikV10 New Contributor

    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    13
    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $62
    True.

    I think the people who was once at the lowest point in their life are the successful ones today.
     
  11. nomadjanet
    Offline

    nomadjanet Contributor

    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    51
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
    Location:
    TX
    Rep Bank:
    $182
    OK reading everyones post I have an answer. We moved 17 times before I turned 15, I went to 11 different schools before I graduated high school. No we weren't military, we were two steps ahead of the bill collectors and one of those bad renters you all hate. Widowed mom who married a jack a$$ the second time around. Jack a$$ beat me every day until I was 12 and he left. My mom took me and hid out for 2 days after a particularly bad beating. when we came back he had stolen everything in the house including our underware. It was the best day ever, cause he was gone. So bad/good; low/high it's all in how you see things. I have a very blessed life and I have all the years I have had the option of making my own decisions. Everytime things have gone wrong; I have had the opportunity to learn from them and do better or see the more wonderful things. All bad things are just lesson along the path.
    Janet
     
  12. Yankees338
    Offline

    Yankees338 Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    134
    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Location:
    NJ/MD
    Rep Bank:
    $178
    This thread really makes me realize how fortunate I've been thus far. I don't want to jinx it, but I've never really had anything significant happen to me that I could really complain about...
     
  13. Diane Kennedy
    Offline

    Diane Kennedy Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    795
    Likes Received:
    204
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $134
    I know this might make it seem like these lows are the worst possible thing and to be avoided at all costs...but, in a way I agree with the previous post - it has a lot to do with success as well.

    I can not remember who used this analogy first, but it stuck with me for years - most people live their lives with a very focussed flashlight beam. It's not too bad and it's not too good. When you change the focus so that you can take in better highs, you also widen the beam to pick up more lows. It's called the "dweller at the threshold." And, according to one theory of psychology, it's how you deal with that the dweller that determines the course of your life. You can retreat, not take chances, afraid - or you can go forward and hope it doesn't happen, plan it doesn't and then if it does, suck it up and get through it. There is a benefit to being able to say "hey, this isn't as bad as.... I can get through it."

    And, I've also learned to appreciate the people who are in my life. Everybody gets a hug today! Thanks for this thread.
     
  14. kimberland
    Offline

    kimberland Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    825
    Likes Received:
    118
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $118
    Hugs, Diane.
    One of my brothers (the sibling I was closest to) committed suicide.
    It is a very difficult thing to accept.
    The guilt is overwhelming
    (finding out that someone you love was in such pain
    and you didn't really know).

    Unfortunately that was not the lowest point of my life.
    I grew up dead broke
    (as in no running water and we didn't eat every day
    and sometimes we would "camp"
    which is why I do NOT thinking camping is "fun")
    with an abusive, mentally unstable father.

    Russ knows that I don't play card or boardgames (no Cashflow for me).
    We would "play" boardgames as a family.
    I'd play with my crazy (literally) Dad because I was the best.
    I'd sit there and know that one of us would get the beats that night.
    Usually by how I played, I could direct which one it would be.
    Couldn't be me every night
    (or my Dad would switch partners and then all h*** would break loose
    'cause if my Dad won, the beatings went easier)
    so I would try to distribute the beatings fairly evenly,
    sheltering the youngest and giving more to the boys.

    That's why I have a lot of guilt about my brother's suicide.
    I feel like I distributed one too many beatings his way.

    And that's why I don't like playing card or boardgames.

    But all that made me tougher
    and I truly enjoy what I have now.
    I treasure every day.
     
  15. Jorge
    Offline

    Jorge Contributor

    Messages:
    583
    Likes Received:
    99
    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2007
    Location:
    Mendoza, Argentina
    Rep Bank:
    $227
    I think I haven't been in a really low point. But the ugliest times I can remember are

    -When my best friend died from Cancer/Brain Tumor at 18 (I was moving with him to another city for Univ when he died)

    -When I was really really young I suffered a really sad incident but I don't really like to talk about it, forgive me.

    This thread made me realize that no matter what, anyone can find joy in his life. I feel proud to be a member of this community.

    Hugs!
     
  16. Jason_MI
    Offline

    Jason_MI New Contributor

    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    8
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $50
    "What is the lowest point in your life you can remember?"

    When JG got married.
     
  17. kurtyordy
    Offline

    kurtyordy Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    2,376
    Likes Received:
    271
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
    Location:
    PA
    Rep Bank:
    $215
    Jim Getty?

    I did not see your obit, when is the funeral?
     
  18. michael515
    Offline

    michael515 Contributor

    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    76
    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $302
    Up to this point - in 2001...

    My Grandfather, who was like a father and mentor to me, passed away in October 2000 of a sudden brain aneurysm. My family and I spent the whole week in the ICU together before he passed. Some even slept there overnight.

    I was in college at a big university and I was studying engineering which after the prior summer I knew I didn't want to do anymore. I was binge drinking a bunch on the weekends and a little during the week.

    I couldn't get into the business school right away and I left school, moved home, and that's when I hit the bottom. I didn't have a purpose, or direction, or a job, no money, rent due on a lease I couldn't fill, and I had left all my friends at school with a major that I believed was going to be my future.

    It sucked at the time - I look back now and I am grateful because it forced me to look inside myself and find a deeper meaning for my life. I haven't drank much at all since and I've become a fanatic about learning and self-development. More about the blessings I've found in another post...
     
    Kingmaker likes this.
  19. Bilgefisher
    Offline

    Bilgefisher Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

    Messages:
    1,849
    Likes Received:
    272
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    Aurora, Co
    Rep Bank:
    $373
    I have to agree with Yankee that I have had no real low points, but I have had some difficult times. My first deployment on my sub had to be one of the hardest things I have done. Your first run on a sub you are a NUB (non-useful body). Not qualified to stand anything, not qualified to do anything, and you are a waste of air, food, and space on the boat. As such you aren't looked at to kindly and have no privileges or allowed free time. The first few days set the tone for that run. I worked a 40/2/40/2/40 shift. In other words I worked forty hours with 2 down 3 straight times. After the last 40 I slept for 7 hours straight. That was the longest period of sleep that run I would see. My work days were anywhere from 18-22 hours with many work days over 24 hours. I was a walking zombie, that blindly did my work. About 3/4 the way through the run one the guys in my division chewed me out and said I wasn't working hard enough and that if I didn't shape up I would be off the boat. I had worked my tail off and it wasn't good enough. That was damn near devastating. That broke me. Boot camp didn't even come close, but that sure did the trick. My high pedestal house of cards came crashing down. How true the saying goes, work smarter not harder. But from that point on I was no longer an individual on the boat, but a member of a ship.

    It was a necessary evil that I had to go through to make me a competent submariner. Other's lives depended on my actions, I'm not sure how, but at that point I realized that and why my shipmates were so hard on me.
     
  20. AroundTheWorld
    Offline

    AroundTheWorld Be in the Moment Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    2,909
    Likes Received:
    1,835
    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    .
    Rep Bank:
    $4,695
    Hugs all around.

    I've been thinking about my lowest point - and I can't say for sure. A cancer diagnosis? The loss of my ability to have children?

    Nah. I am blessed. It is our sad stories that strenghten us.
     
  21. thecoach
    Offline

    thecoach Contributor

    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    24
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    Regina, SK, Canada
    Rep Bank:
    $68
    Here's a bit of an excerpt from a 'thank-you' letter I wrote to a friend of mine a couple years ago, explaining how she unknowing helped of bail me out of a quick downward spiral around the time we had met. They say that people enter your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and while we still talk 2 years later, she definately came into my life for a reason. This is basically a description of my life circa 2005 at age 26...

    The last year for me has been without a doubt the most difficult year of my life. The accident I was in last New Year’s was the breaking point and the start of my personal path to self destruction and spiraled down rapidly. The accident put my family through a great deal of stress. From my position, I was being accused of being a belligerent monster that has no respect for the law and I had no way of defending my self of these allegations. I was diagnosed with acute amnesia from hitting my head in the accident. I don’t remember anything from about 11pm until I woke up the next morning. The accident was around 4 am. My friend who was with me in the car openly admits that he was yelling and screaming at the other people in the other vehicles and fit the description and actions of who all the crown witnesses described as the driver and that I in fact appeared to be sober. The other 4 people that were in the vehicle later confirmed this. The police did not take statements from any of my witnesses and there were horrendous holes in the statements of the witnesses from the other vehicles and we have facts to disprove them. It leaves you with an extremely helpless and hopeless feeling when you are being told that you are something that you are not and this is what's going to happen and aside from other peoples opinions and words, you have absolutely no control over the situation or the accusations. In any case, it was set for trial and adjourned roughly 6 times and still has not been resolved. I have come to terms with what happened and am have more or less moved on now, however I never have gotten any disclosure and won’t until it gets finished. From my family’s perspective, my parents had to re-mortgage our house to help cover the lawyer bills which are currently at around $15, 000, as I did not have the money to pay for it due to my other debts.

    I began to go to alcohol more than I used to as an escape to forget about my problems. It started out as a couple nights a week and eventually evolved to 5-7 nights a week drinking more and more and often going on less than 3 hours a night of sleep for weeks at a time. From the usual 2-3 drinks here and there I went to 12-15 and more every time I went out. I figured it out a while back and I estimated that I spent almost $1000 a month on alcohol alone and that was on top of the massive amounts that were comp'd to me becuase I was a concert promoter/band manager. In the years prior to my accident, I was a banker, a well respected person and a role model in my community because of my involvement in things like coaching and whatnot. Like I said I really let myself go over the last year. I gained more than 40 lbs, grew my hair out, I wouldn’t shave for up to a week at a time. I honestly had no respect for my body and did not care what I looked like. All of this compounded with a few other issues from the past, lead to me spending about the first 8 months of the year battling a deep depression off and on and as messed up as it sounds I even considered suicide a couple of times. It’s kind of a surreal feeling to be walking down the street and wonder what it would be like to jump infront of the bus driving by. I never would have done it and never will. I could never be that selfish to put my friends and family through that kind of pain, but like they say when you feel like you have no hope what do you have to live for? Music has always been therapy for me. This is why I got more heavily involved in the music scene, I wanted to try to make myself happy again, but the party lifestyle rubbed off and added to my downward spiral. I was threatened on more than one occasion that I was going to get fired from my job for several reasons that all had ties to my personal life (coming into work drunk or smelling like the booze from the night before, missing work, making major mistakes due to my lack of sleep, not doing work because I didn’t care anymore). I hated my job to begin with, so that combined with my personal life was not a good mix.

    Food was another ‘crutch for me’ I would each nothing but sh*t for every meal. I always told people I was ‘on the eating what I want and doing what I want, and enjoying life diet’. Truth in the matter was that was my only way I could enjoy life at the time…by drowning my sorrows with booze and ‘comfort food’. Just to clear things up, the year was not a total right off there were a some really great times in there, but the bad days far out numbered the good.

    Near the end of November, I had a meeting with AMP (alternative maeasures program) about my accident and had to do an interview sort of thing to get a perspective on the situation and my personal situation. It was more or less a psychological interview about me and the accident. Basically, I had to spill the beans on absolutely everything I have ever done….how many people I have slept with, how often and how much I had done drugs in the past, my career, my community involved now and in the past, how often and how much I drink, if I was happy, how I felt about my life, how I felt about the accident, how I thought it affected the other people involved. Everything I have ever done in my life was right there in the open. It really opened my eyes to how much I had let my life slip away from me over the last year and the path of self destruction I was leading myself on. It reminded me of my brothers lifestyle when he was battling serious drug addiction when he was 19 and what it put my family through. I thought about it and decided to try to slow things down in order to get my life back on track.


    To sum up the rest of the letter and what's happened since, 2 days after that AMP meeting, I met this friend and she was not a partier and we got a long really well so we started hanging out a lot. She gave me something to do to help keep my mind away from booze and partying and that downward spiral of a lifestyle I was in. I quit drinking all together cold turkey within a week of us meeting for roughly 5 months without a single shot. I didn't do it for her, she didn't ask, I just lost the desire to drink, even when I went to the bar. Within 4-6 months of us meeting, I bought my first house (we were going to buy one together as an investment since we were both looking at the sametime, but had a bit of a temporary falling out just before I bought), took a couple home study courses and started my own business, was exersizing daily and lost about 45lbs (though sadly becuase of my lazyness I have since put back on about 20 of it :D) and basically took control of my life. I started abandoning all negative influences in my life, invested a lot of time into educating myself through motivational books and audiotapes instead of watching TV (infact, I am proud to say that I had my cable disconnected almost 6 months ago becuase I watched TV so little, and haven't missed it since...I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've turned the TV on since them as well aside from watching the local news during supper :D).

    After a second meeting with AMP (roughly 18 months after the accident), they threw the case out of court as they felt I had suffered enough, made very positive changes in my life becuase of what happened and the crown's witnesses were not showing up for court dates causing delays in the hearing.

    If there was ever a 'defining' moment in my life, I would say that was about it. I had the choice to continue on the downward spiral and not care or I could 'start over'. Though I don't think about the accident very often, it is in the back of my mind as a bit of a motivator...if I can overcome that much sh*t in my life at once, enduring a couple months of slow business and little pay to build a successful business is peanuts. I keep that letter on my computer so if I ever need a reminder that my life isn't that bad right now, I give it a bit of a read.
     
  22. Yankees338
    Offline

    Yankees338 Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    134
    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Location:
    NJ/MD
    Rep Bank:
    $178
    Wow...what a thread. Thrilled to hear you were able to turn things around, Coach. Really some heavy stuff here, but I guess that's why they say, "what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger."

    I haven't had any of these defining moments, but for better or for worse, I know they're ultimately inevitable.
     
  23. wbuild
    Offline

    wbuild New Contributor

    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $34
    this is a great thread for me to read right now. I have been reading this site for a few months now but this thread just grabbed me.

    Right now (really the last three years) has been the toughest time I have ever had- I would love to read what some of you guys did to dig your way out- or deal with the hardships you faced.

    Some of these stories are difficult (diane's for example) but thank you for posting and for setting an example of how you you may have been devastated- but have somehow managed to overcome the difficulty.

    Thanks for everyone posting their stories so far.
     
  24. Diane Kennedy
    Offline

    Diane Kennedy Bronze Contributor

    Messages:
    795
    Likes Received:
    204
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2007
    Rep Bank:
    $134
    For me it was just one foot in front of the other. I don't have any brilliant solutions, other than you need to check in and make sure you're on the right path, that you're acting with full integrity in everything you do (and if not, correct immediately) and then just hunker down and get through it.

    Maybe you can find the lesson, but sometimes that is just too much to ask at the time. One of the best things someone told me was, "This won't kill you. It'll feel like it - but it won't kill you." There were times when that was the only lifeline I hung on to.

    When I'm seeking a goal that might seem unreachable or impossible, I come up with the steps I need to accomplish. For me it generally comes down to down to finding the right person or connection, and then every single day I do 5 unique things (different than anything the days before) to get to the right person or connection. It's kind of crazy and I don't know why I started doing that, but I've been doing it since college - I figure I can commit a week to 5 things per day...and it always resolves in less than 4 days. Try it! Someone will always know someone or know a solution.

    By the way, this plan works much better if you have lots in the "favor bank" with lots of other people. In other words, if someone really wants something or to accomplish something that you can in all integrity support, then help them get it without any plan for how you will be rewarded. It always comes back 10 fold, and often when you don't expect it.
     
  25. andviv
    Offline

    andviv Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

    Messages:
    5,392
    Likes Received:
    2,140
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington DC
    Rep Bank:
    $3,287
    Hmmmm after reading other's posts I think my lowest points are kind of nothing...

    Car accident when I was 10, my uncle (the one that probably loved me the most) had a vertebrae crushed and was told would never walk again. Being a very active person, he fell on a depression-like attitude and died two years later. I was unharmed in that accident, I was 10 and had to get out of the car and go find help as we ended up way out of the highway and nobody could see us. My brother was also badly hurt and I was crying all the way to the hospital begging him not to die. He was OK after remaining unconscious for a few days. That was harsh for a 10 yr old boy.

    When I was 20 I had another car accident ( I was driving) and this time I fractured a vertebrae (C5, in my neck) and my hip. Had surgery with the risk of something going wrong and never making it or never walking again. Surgery went fine and 'only' spent three months in a wheelchair (this is when I discovered that third world countries do NOT have any infrastructure designed with accessibility in mind).

    Seeing my parents fight (my drunk father hitting my mother and I getting in the middle to break the 'fight') when I was maybe 13 or 14. That was also hard.

    Also, when I was 22 my parents went bankrupt (my father's partner stole the cash and ran away, we got stuck with all the liability from their business) so my aunt's husband gave us a place to stay in his house. We lived with them for maybe a year and then were able to afford a place for rent. During that time we had to 'recycle' food (what was left over from Monday was eaten on Wednesday, and so on). During this years I lived first hand the 'day to day' mentality, you can eat today if yesterday was a good day, otherwise no money for good food. This is when I got sick of beans, eating beans three or four times a day. But hey, I never went to bed hungry. Around this time is when my father was able to afford a car, a 1973 simca, so yes SteveO, I know which one you are talking about. Never had to sleep in that one though.

    But, like I said, after reading others' stories, mine are like nothing.
     

Join 1000s of entrepreneurs who are rewriting life's script and winning financial freedom.

---- ----

You must be a member to join the conversation.

Create Account

Join the community fast and easy!

REGISTER

Log In

Already have an account? Login here.

LOG IN

Share This Page