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We are all KINGS!!! (Reclaiming Masculinity in the Modern Day)

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Spicymemer45

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(Before I begin, this is in the form of a book called "The 4 Archetypes of Man" - By Carl Jung

Throughout all of human existence, a king watches his domain as it grows over the Earth.

(What a business Clichè)

I have struggled with the aspect of who I am as a man throughout my young life due to the absence of my father, a event many men can relate to in this day.

My mother did her best but it's difficult to teach something that's simply natural when it isn't natural to someone. The "Mentoring" aspect applies to this as well, a father raises up his son to be a man (or not), as we also seek assistance in TFLF.

We all see the problem. How to fix it with the 4 Archetypes of Man

1.) The KING

- The king in his fullness orders and blesses. Lording over his Kingdom, the King works for the prosperity of himself and his people, blessing those who have earned such and punishing/ignoring the cowards and plotters.

2.) The Lover
- Emotions are a scale between passive bliss and indulgent destruction, a balance of full presence does a man well. To fully be engaged in life and his surroundings and to savor the present, the now. The now is all we are guaranteed. This is applicable in all areas of life (Sex, Romance, Work)

3.) The WARRIOR
- Men have the "nose to the grind" mentality when it comes to work that they're passionate about. We turn off the emotions and get in the dirt, we have the ability to become killers, relentless in action and pursuit.

4.) The Magician
Like MJ said in his book, an idea is the speedometer, you are the accelerator. The Magician uses his specialized knowledge in combine with the Warrior to accomplish his goals and bless the populace with his knowledge and his works!

I hope this post helped alot

Cheers!- Grayson. J
 
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ChickenHawk

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For at least 20 years, probably more, men have been undervalued, ridiculed, and seriously taken for granted in just about every way. Today, they're the only people you can mock with impunity, stereotype, and blame for all the world's ills without recognizing the incredible contributions they've made to our safety, our comfort, our medical advancements, and so much more. When is the last time anyone told a guy to be proud of who he is? Of his masculinity? Or of his heritage, especially if there isn't any diversity in his family tree?

I do think men need to reclaim their masculinity. But women (and society) need to do a better job of appreciating men for the many wonderful things they bring to the table.

IMO, we as a society should be ashamed of the messages we're sending our young men in particular -- that they're not important, that they're somehow worth less than women, that they're somehow the root of all the problems in this world. Guys are seriously awesome, and I think it's time for them to receive a lot more appreciation for all the things they've done to make this world a wonderful place.
 
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ChickenHawk

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@ChickenHawk arent you like... a lady? Although, pretty sure I've heard my mom get on this same soapbox :clench:
Yup. But I have a husband, brothers, and a son, and it angers me to see them disparaged due to their gender. Plus, IMO, the current imbalance isn't good for anyone, not even women for too many reasons to count. A related thought: The pendulum has swung so far anti-male that we're almost at risk for an over-correction, which would leave women worse off in the long run. It's kind of surprising to me that rabid man-haters can't see this.
 

G-Man

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Yup. But I have a husband, brothers, and a son, and it angers me to see them disparaged due to their gender. Plus, IMO, the current imbalance isn't good for anyone, not even women for too many reasons to count. A related thought: The pendulum has swung so far anti-male that we're almost at risk for an over-correction, which would leave women worse off in the long run. It's kind of surprising to me that rabid man-haters can't see this.
Again, could practically be listening to my mom verbatim
 
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MidwestLandlord

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Yup. But I have a husband, brothers, and a son, and it angers me to see them disparaged due to their gender.

I hope you have a daughter as well, or other young women in your life that can learn from you. There are many women that think the way you do, buy y'all are definitely the minority.

Thank you for your words in this thread, very refreshing to read.

@ChickenHawk arent you like... a lady? Although, pretty sure I've heard my mom get on this same soapbox :clench:

She's the exact opposite of my mother haha.

"I can't believe I brought another evil man into this world" <---exact words from my mother starting when I was about 5 years old.

:rage:

I bought her a house and car, cause again...evil. :rofl:
 

G-Man

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"I can't believe I brought another evil man into this world" <---exact words from my mother starting when I was about 5 years old.

Wow. Rough. My mom is old school. I still remember her lecturing one of the young stay at home moms at our church about how disrespectful it was to her husband not to keep a clean house, and how she needed to take being a mother seriously, like a 24 hr a day job.

I got very lucky and married a woman that thinks the same way.
 

MidwestLandlord

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MidwestLandlord

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I got very lucky and married a woman that thinks the same way.

Luck?
When you're firmly in the fastlane will you credit luck for that too? :)

C'mon man, don't credit luck for your accomplishments!

(I get what you mean though, don't take this the wrong way lol)
 

G-Man

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Luck?
When you're firmly in the fastlane will you credit luck for that too? :)

C'mon man, don't credit luck for your accomplishments!

(I get what you mean though, don't take this the wrong way lol)

Every truly great thing in life involves at least a dash of luck, but I had an iterative process of lady selection designed to increase my probability of getting a good wife and mother. When I started knocking on 30 I stopped wantrepreneuring the whole thing and got serious with some extreme vetting. :clench:
 

Vigilante

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@ChickenHawk arent you like... a lady? Although, pretty sure I've heard my mom get on this same soapbox :clench:

She's (@ChickenHawk) a traditional southern belle (regardless of her location). Her husband is fortunate to have her, and I would imagine the opposite is also true.

Southern belles are women who like to be women, and love men who like to be men. They find value in people, and don't buy into what Hollywood likes to pretend women should be. The hard core feminists have really distorted the strength, beauty, and honor that traditional women hold. Walking around with a vagina hat on your head while screaming about equality and baby killing doesn't make you a lady... it makes you a monster. Therein it becomes predictable that the people most attracted to those types of people are... other people walking around with vagina hats and nonsensical signs.

My wife and I have raised a girl, and are in mid stream of raising another. My oldest is beautiful, strong, smart, confident, tough, tender, kind, intelligent, self secure, and traditional. She married a guy that is a knight, who holds the door open for her because he should, and has encouraged her to chase her dreams.

I feel sorry for the screwed up kids of screwed up parents who convey messages from a distorted world view. That great social experiment has yet to fully reveal what warping an entire generations mind regarding sexual identity, gender strengths, and traditional values will mean towards the degradation of society. Take a look around you at the f*cked up world we now live in, and trace it towards the evolution of thought regarding traditional families and faith.

To most real men, there is nothing more attractive (not physically, but intellectually or intrinsically) than the values, worth, and character of a traditional southern belle. I know because I am married to one.
 
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Fox

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For at least 20 years, probably more, men have been undervalued, ridiculed, and seriously taken for granted in just about every way. Today, they're the only people you can mock with impunity, stereotype, and blame for all the world's ills without recognizing the incredible contributions they've made to our safety, our comfort, our medical advancements, and so much more. When is the last time anyone told a guy to be proud of who he is? Of his masculinity? Or of his heritage, especially if there isn't any diversity in his family tree?

I do think men need to reclaim their masculinity. But women (and society) need to do a better job of appreciating men for the many wonderful things they bring to the table.

IMO, we as a society should be ashamed of the messages we're sending our young men in particular -- that they're not important, that they're somehow worth less than women, that they're somehow the root of all the problems in this world. Guys are seriously awesome, and I think it's time for them to receive a lot more appreciation for all the things they've done to make this world a wonderful place.

Should be a featured post in my opinion. This is a great message for the younger guys on here.

@Andy Black @MJ DeMarco @Vigilante
 

Dan1el

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My wife and I have raised a girl, and are in mid stream of raising another. My oldest is beautiful, strong, smart, confident, tough, tender, kind, intelligent, self secure, and traditional.

Sounds like you and your wife have done one hell of a job. Unfortunately alot of women (and men) grow up to become the complete opposite.
Im not a father myself, but aim to be. Do you mind share what you believe have been a part of the success in raising your daughter?
 

Vigilante

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Should be a featured post in my opinion. This is a great message for the younger guys on here.

@Andy Black @MJ DeMarco @Vigilante

Agreed but I have no idea how to do that. Meanwhile, I moved the thread into People and Relationships as I have a feeling this thread will be around for a while.
 
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Vigilante

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Sounds like you and your wife have done one hell of a job. Unfortunately alot of women (and men) grow up to become the complete opposite.
Im not a father myself, but aim to be. Do you mind share what you believe have been a part of the success in raising your daughter?

I will give that some thought and post after I think through that.
 

G-Man

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She's (@ChickenHawk) a traditional southern belle (regardless of her location). Her husband is fortunate to have her, and I would imagine the opposite is also true.

Southern belles are women who like to be women, and love men who like to be men. They find value in people, and don't buy into what Hollywood likes to pretend women should be. The hard core feminists have really distorted the strength, beauty, and honor that traditional women hold. Walking around with a vagina hat on your head while screaming about equality and baby killing doesn't make you a lady... it makes you a monster. Therein it becomes predictable that the people most attracted to those types of people are... other people walking around with vagina hats and nonsensical signs.

My wife and I have raised a girl, and are in mid stream of raising another. My oldest is beautiful, strong, smart, confident, tough, tender, kind, intelligent, self secure, and traditional. She married a guy that is a knight, who holds the door open for her because he should, and has encouraged her to chase her dreams.

I feel sorry for the screwed up kids of screwed up parents who convey messages from a distorted world view. That great social experiment has yet to fully reveal what warping an entire generations mind regarding sexual identity, gender strengths, and traditional values will mean towards the degradation of society. Take a look around you at the f*cked up world we now live in, and trace it towards the evolution of thought regarding traditional families and faith.

To most real men, there is nothing more attractive (not physically, but intellectually or intrinsically) than the values, worth, and character of a traditional southern belle. I know because I am married to one.

I'm married to a traditional Louisiana girl myself. I definitely understand the appeal. I honestly think if I went all progressive and started changing the diapers and doing the housework, she wouldn't even think of me as a man anymore :clench:

I still consider myself lucky, though, because my parents marriage is very traditional and stable so I knew what to look for. It's just like the advantage a kid would have if he grew up with parents that have the fast lane mindset.
 

Vigilante

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I'm married to a traditional Louisiana girl myself. I definitely understand the appeal. I honestly think if I went all progressive and started changing the diapers and doing the housework, she wouldn't even think of me as a man anymore :clench:

I still consider myself lucky, though, because my parents marriage is very traditional and stable so I knew what to look for. It's just like the advantage a kid would have if he grew up with parents that have the fast lane mindset.

My son has an internship with my company right now, and he is the fastest study I have ever seen. He understands business strategy concepts that are hard to teach.

I never really thought of it until you posted that but yeah... I guess he does have an innate advantage.
 
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G-Man

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My son has an internship with my company right now, and he is the fastest study I have ever seen. He understands business strategy concepts that are hard to teach.

I never really thought of it until you posted that but yeah... I guess he does have an innate advantage.

One of the things I love about the fastlane worldview is the emphasis on not blaming others for your situation. That said, some of us have advantages others don't, and it's an important part of the human experience to be mindful of and grateful for those things.

I'm truly blessed that I had two parents at home and their relationship was functional and respectful. It gave me a leg up in life that I can't really take credit for.
 

MJ DeMarco

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MetalGear

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1.) The KING
2.) The Lover
3.) The WARRIOR
4.) The Magician
Cheers!- Grayson. J

I grew up mostly raised by my mom and grandmother because my dad had his issues, was insecure, and largely absent.

Most of the time he was physically there, but mentally checked out. I forgive my dad because he did his best in a very toxic and volatile work environment. I can only imagine how hard it would be to keep your children engaged and to play with them if you come home mentally and emotionally beat up. How do you play with your kids if you knew your job is at risk?

This only gives me MORE reason to pursue the FastLane...I want to be able to take care of my future family and be fully present for them.

I kind of had to raise myself since my parents only know what they know...the slow lane mentality.

The big benefit of this forum is you can learn from other men and women.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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I changed my avatar in the spirit of this discussion. ;)
 

G-Man

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A delivery guy holding a can of bear mace walking towards ground zero?

This is the fedex driver that got a burning flag away from protestors, I think. Basically the most manly thing to happen this week. :cool:
 
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mrarcher

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She's (@ChickenHawk) a traditional southern belle (regardless of her location). Her husband is fortunate to have her, and I would imagine the opposite is also true.

Southern belles are women who like to be women, and love men who like to be men. They find value in people, and don't buy into what Hollywood likes to pretend women should be. The hard core feminists have really distorted the strength, beauty, and honor that traditional women hold. Walking around with a vagina hat on your head while screaming about equality and baby killing doesn't make you a lady... it makes you a monster. Therein it becomes predictable that the people most attracted to those types of people are... other people walking around with vagina hats and nonsensical signs.

My wife and I have raised a girl, and are in mid stream of raising another. My oldest is beautiful, strong, smart, confident, tough, tender, kind, intelligent, self secure, and traditional. She married a guy that is a knight, who holds the door open for her because he should, and has encouraged her to chase her dreams.

I feel sorry for the screwed up kids of screwed up parents who convey messages from a distorted world view. That great social experiment has yet to fully reveal what warping an entire generations mind regarding sexual identity, gender strengths, and traditional values will mean towards the degradation of society. Take a look around you at the f*cked up world we now live in, and trace it towards the evolution of thought regarding traditional families and faith.

To most real men, there is nothing more attractive (not physically, but intellectually or intrinsically) than the values, worth, and character of a traditional southern belle. I know because I am married to one.
My wife is one of the "southern belle" type of housewife I think one of the most attractive things about that is that while I work on the business and a better financial future for the family, she takes care of the household, kids, cleaning, shopping and who knows how many other things she does. What she does makes her very strong in my view. It is like she is somewhat of an unsung hero because people nowadays tend to look down on housewifes. The reality is though that everything I have accomplished and will accomplish wouldn't have been possible without her. If she had a full time job and I had to split housework and parenting I would've never had the time to work on the business after working full time and wouldn't have entered the fastlane. I for one appreciate that much more than if she was a "strong, independent woman to whom all that seemed to matter was a pointless career." I'm thankful for her every day.
 

ChickenHawk

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For what it's worth, I think we've reached the peak (or near-peak) of male-bashing. As a gen-Xer, I was raised to be a feminist, and embraced that ideology, back when I thought it meant seeking compromises and equal opportunity for both genders. For example, when my husband and I had our child, it was my husband, not me, who quit his job to stay home, because my job was more secure and thus, offered more stability for our family. We were partners, looked at our resources, and allocated them the best we could, even if it defied traditional gender roles.

But honestly, seeing all the misery that "feminism" has wrought, especially over the last few years, I'd never call myself a feminist today, even though I still support compromises and equal opportunities (not to be confused with guaranteed equal results.)

Here's my theory: I think that Baby Boomer women, in general (not all of them, of course), don't like or appreciate men very much. These women still hold a large sway over our culture. The next generation, Gen-X (women like me) were raised to be feminists, told that we didn't need men, and often informed that we were probably better off without men at all. But we've seen firsthand the dysfunction that results. Our brothers have been abused, our sons are in danger, and women are working harder than ever for a lifestyle that leaves us emptier and more frazzled than our WW2 Grandparents.

A few months ago, my sister said to me, "Why did mom teach us to hate men so much? Why didn't she teach us love and appreciate them?" Eh, maybe it was just society back then. But if you look at trends, we're seeing signs that the pendulum could be swinging back in the other direction. Today, fewer women identify as feminists. More women are choosing to stay home with their kids. College-educated gen-Xers have a lower divorce rate than their boomer counterparts. And speaking for my Gen-X peers, I just don't see the same male-bashing that I saw as a child when my boomer aunts got together.

A good sign? I sure hope so, because it seems to me that male-bashing couldn't get much worse.
 
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MetalGear

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For what it's worth, I think we've reached the peak (or near-peak) of male-bashing. As a gen-Xer, I was raised to be a feminist, and embraced that ideology, back when I thought it meant seeking compromises and equal opportunity for both genders. For example, when my husband and I had our child, it was my husband, not me, who quit his job to stay home, because my job was more secure and thus, offered more stability for our family. We were partners, looked at our resources, and allocated them the best we could, even if it defied traditional gender roles.

But honestly, seeing all the misery that "feminism" has wrought, especially over the last few years, I'd never call myself a feminist today, even though I still support compromises and equal opportunities (not to be confused with guaranteed equal results.)

Here's my theory: I think that Baby Boomer women, in general (not all of them, of course), don't like or appreciate men very much. These women still hold a large sway over our culture. The next generation, Gen-X (women like me) were raised to be feminists, told that we didn't need men, and often informed that we were probably better off without men at all. But we've seen firsthand the dysfunction that results. Our brothers have been abused, our sons are in danger, and women are working harder than ever for a lifestyle that leaves us emptier and more frazzled than our WW2 Grandparents.

A few months ago, my sister said to me, "Why did mom teach us to hate men so much? Why didn't she teach us love and appreciate them?" Eh, maybe it was just society back then. But if you look at trends, we're seeing signs that the pendulum could be swinging back in the other direction. Today, fewer women identify as feminists. More women are choosing to stay home with their kids. College-educated gen-Xers have a lower divorce rate than their boomer counterparts. And speaking for my Gen-X peers, I just don't see the same male-bashing that I saw as a child when my boomer aunts got together.

A good sign? I sure hope so, because it seems to me that male-bashing couldn't get much worse.

Feminism has so many different connotations. I don't think we should go back to the days where men could beat women without recourse and treat them like possessions. On the other hand, there is a toxic type of feminism that just bashes men. In the end it is all about respect.
 

G-Man

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For what it's worth, I think we've reached the peak (or near-peak) of male-bashing. As a gen-Xer, I was raised to be a feminist, and embraced that ideology, back when I thought it meant seeking compromises and equal opportunity for both genders. For example, when my husband and I had our child, it was my husband, not me, who quit his job to stay home, because my job was more secure and thus, offered more stability for our family. We were partners, looked at our resources, and allocated them the best we could, even if it defied traditional gender roles.

One of my working theories is that traditional gender roles, for whatever shortcomings they might have, meant people entered into a relationship with pretty clear understandings of what was expected of them. If you were a man, you knew there was a social expectation that you hold down a job, keep the house and yard in good repair etc. If you were a lady you knew you had to keep up with the housework and care for the children. When society decided to remove that, it meant that all the moving parts of daily life became a sort of defacto negotiation where nobody is sure what's expected of them, but everybody is convinced they're getting the raw end, so modern marriages seem, imho, to carry with them this sort of backdrop of anxiety over who's doing what in daily life, and it makes people extremely unhappy.
 

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