Wasted 3 years of my life doing nothing

[RockBottom]

Hello everyone,

This is my first real post on this wonderful forum. I am a loser (I think) on a personal, professional level.

After coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my time with a girl who I fell for (she used me and she was not even my girlfriend ), I became depressed, doing nothing from the past 3 years (no job). I always keep on thinking about the mistakes I made in that bad phase. I am possibly in the lowest phase of my life, have zero money and nothing to show for the last 3 years.

I want to ask you wonderful people, how do we make up for lost years ? This is a serious question, I am ready to do whatever it takes to redeem myself for the agony I caused myself during the last 3 years. I have no business, am not making money.

Should I assume for a loser like me , I should do the sidewalk and get a job. But still I want to compensate for the time I lost. It's absolutely killing me. Please advice.

P.S I can take harsh, please give it to me.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[GuestUser113]

 

[MoneyDoc]

Beautiful.

 

[The Grind]

You learned so much by wasting that time and you don't even realize it. That's the worst part.

Start engaging in daily process's everyday to improve your situation.

If you do not, you will wake up in another 3 years from now and be exactly where you are now.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Digamma]

I could talk about this for hours, because if anyone knows about wasted potential and time, it's me.

But let me ask you a question.

Do you think the past exists? In the most practical sense of the world, I mean. Do you think the past is physically present somewhere, occupying space? *

Love the Stephen Fry cartoon.



* I notice now that I sound like O'Brien from 1984. It might not be at all coincidental, as 1984 is probably my favorite book of all time and the one that most has influenced me. Fun enough, the point I want to get across is also similar.

 

[Mattie]

Past is irrelevant. We hang on to it in our minds and never told ourselves just to let it go. Emotional attachment is normal. We want to be loved, and be loved in returned. The only problem in this world not enough people know what love truly is, and rarely provide it. This makes it hard for everyone. Especially in sidewalk and some in slow lane.

If you don't know how to play the rules of the game to begin with, you can't see results, waste time, and with the wrong people. Just like the rest of us, we have to unlearn certain belief patterns, thought patterns, actions and habits, and be a path cutter in our families. This means you have to give up the past, make peace with it, let go of it, and move forward starting in 2015 and cut a new course.

Start with the negative thoughts about self, the world, and change them to a more positive outlook.

Self learning about relationships, business, finances, and even communication. All of it in the end correlates all across the board.

If you believe you're a loser, you will act one, behave like one, and speak like one. If you believe something different you're life will automatically change and get better.

Now is the only moment that counts. What can you do now! What can you do today to turn your life in a better direction?

 

[Phenom]

You can't really "make up for lost time" but you can change the present. Move forward. The only time that matters is right now. Take a few minutes to bury the loser person you were. Get your shit together...join a gym, get a job, volunteer, read more, work on your fastlane...It only gets better when YOU decide to change. I believe you can.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FlamingRemedy]

It's all in your head. The only reason you're a loser is because that's what you keep telling yourself. Beliefs influence our behaviors.

 

[Silverhawk851]

"The only way the past influences us, is how it affects us in the present. The rest is in your head." -Steve Siebold

Yesterday is gone, and soon, today will be gone also. Keep going like this and tomorrow will be gone as well.
Means you've got to change your thought process from focusing on Yesterday, but gain a vision for the future, and take action towards it in the present.

Any vision you hold in your mind consistently, you're drawn towards.
Might as well make it an epic one.

My 2cents

Oh, and Welcome

 

[Digamma]

It's all in your head. The only reason you're a loser is because that's what you keep telling yourself. Beliefs influence our behaviors.

Yep. And behaviors influence beliefs, just as much if not more.

Want to be a winner? Start winning. Small victories, smallish victories, average victories, more-than-average victories, biggish victories, big victories, huge victories, F*cking enormous victories. It's that simple, really. People just don't want to go through the process.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Destined]

Hello everyone,

This is my first real post on this wonderful forum. I am a loser (I think) on a personal, professional level.

After coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my time with a girl who I fell for (she used me and she was not even my girlfriend ), I became depressed, doing nothing from the past 3 years (no job). I always keep on thinking about the mistakes I made in that bad phase. I am possibly in the lowest phase of my life, have zero money and nothing to show for the last 3 years.

I want to ask you wonderful people, how do we make up for lost years ? This is a serious question, I am ready to do whatever it takes to redeem myself for the agony I caused myself during the last 3 years. I have no business, am not making money.

Should I assume for a loser like me , I should do the sidewalk and get a job. But still I want to compensate for the time I lost. It's absolutely killing me. Please advice.

P.S I can take harsh, please give it to me.

You seriously, need to change your mindset! No matter, what direction people give you...you are set for failure. You are defeating yourself with such a poor attitude. It is all about attitude first, if you are thinking that you are a failure and will be a failure, then your results are pretty much going to be the same. 3 years, is nothing, some have failed for 10, 15, 20 years and still made awesome comebacks and never looked back into their past.

Change your thinking first, then read threads in this forum or any other business/entrepreneur forum and see what type of business interests you most. Next, reach out for a mentor (someone, who has been there, done that and has had SUCCESS) and find that person. Learn from that person and start going for your goal(s).

You have a lot, of stuff to work on, but change that mindset first!

 

[Mattie]

I don't believe your set failure. I believe people can change and overcome their obstacles. And saying that from my own experience. If I believed that statement you're set for failure from other people, I wouldn't be where I am today. Sometimes we mean well, and some believe in break em down, build them back up, I'm just the opposite. Transformational Change happens when people believe you can change and destined for success. So, no punt intended, but the person's asking for encouragement.

 

[GIlman]

You can't make up the past. All you can do is not waste the future.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Destined]

I don't believe your set failure. I believe people can change and overcome their obstacles. And saying that from my own experience. If I believed that statement you're set for failure from other people, I wouldn't be where I am today. Sometimes we mean well, and some believe in break em down, build them back up, I'm just the opposite. Transformational Change happens when people believe you can change and destined for success. So, no punt intended, but the person's asking for encouragement.

I was being factual, on this topic. If someone has a poor mindset, then they can expect pretty much the same results. I was being and always am very positive, my other posts prove that

I hope the best for this, fella but unless that negative mindset fades away, then it will be very hard to have success.....

 

[Mattie]

@Destined, I knew what you meant! Ha ha!

 

[Coalission]

You can't make up for lost time, and losing time trying to make up for it is falling for the sunk cost fallacy. That time is done, it's over, "throwing good thoughts after bad", just like with money, is the only real waste here. You have 3 years of memories, now you can only create new ones.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

Do the exact opposite of what you're doing. Stop posting about it. Stop wasting the time you have now reflecting on the time you wasted then. Get a life, dude.

Learn from your shit and move on. Go build the life of your dreams instead of reflecting on how "i'm a loser"

 

[happybhoy]

Today's the first day of the rest of your life.

 

[DKNJ]

I don't want to sound like a self help book but sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to develop the burning desire/ambition. If you were comfortable right now, maybe you wouldn't feel the need for any change. I've been having relationship problems the past few months but I don't let it slow me down too much in other areas of my life because I know I will look back at it and laugh one day. You will be able to do the same as long as you don't let yourself become your own worst enemy. Let this female dog that you used to have, fuel you to do better. Then one day later down the road, she will wish she wasn't a female dog to you. Lol. You need your bad days to appreciate your good days.

Hello everyone,

This is my first real post on this wonderful forum. I am a loser (I think) on a personal, professional level.

After coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my time with a girl who I fell for (she used me and she was not even my girlfriend ), I became depressed, doing nothing from the past 3 years (no job). I always keep on thinking about the mistakes I made in that bad phase. I am possibly in the lowest phase of my life, have zero money and nothing to show for the last 3 years.

I want to ask you wonderful people, how do we make up for lost years ? This is a serious question, I am ready to do whatever it takes to redeem myself for the agony I caused myself during the last 3 years. I have no business, am not making money.

Should I assume for a loser like me , I should do the sidewalk and get a job. But still I want to compensate for the time I lost. It's absolutely killing me. Please advice.

P.S I can take harsh, please give it to me.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[samuraijack]

Who has more of a desire to change? You or some comfortable dimwit working an okay 9-5 with an okay girlfriend?

Theres no better catalyst for change than hitting rock bottom.

Use this fire you got right now before it goes out.

 

[RockBottom]

I am seriously thankful for you wonderful people who've replied here. It's going to be a long battle from now on for me, but I have to win it. Thanks for the encouragement and kick in the butt, everyone.

 

[LibertyForMe]

First, go register a new account that doesn't have some mopey name. Make it DailyAction or something. You don't need to log in every day with a username that tells you that you suck.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[omar]

What valuable lesson did you learn from this experience? If you think that through you will be wildly amazed at how important this experience was for you to have. These big challenges teach you so much about life and help bring you to the next level if you see it that way.

 

[EvanOkanagan]

Hello everyone,

This is my first real post on this wonderful forum. I am a loser (I think) on a personal, professional level.

After coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my time with a girl who I fell for (she used me and she was not even my girlfriend ), I became depressed, doing nothing from the past 3 years (no job). I always keep on thinking about the mistakes I made in that bad phase. I am possibly in the lowest phase of my life, have zero money and nothing to show for the last 3 years.

I want to ask you wonderful people, how do we make up for lost years ? This is a serious question, I am ready to do whatever it takes to redeem myself for the agony I caused myself during the last 3 years. I have no business, am not making money.

Should I assume for a loser like me , I should do the sidewalk and get a job. But still I want to compensate for the time I lost. It's absolutely killing me. Please advice.

P.S I can take harsh, please give it to me.

It's great that you're admitting this to yourself as that's the first step. Here's a bit of story you might be able to relate to...

One day, about 6 years ago I was at a low point like you are now... I had read all of these self-improvement books that gave me hope and knowledge but I wasn't making it anywhere. On this day I was so broke that I had to pay $4 in quarters for gas just to get home from the gas station. I broke down that day and really took a look at myself and admitted where I was at in life. From that day I swore I would never be at that low point again in my life, and I haven't since.

I took action the next day. I got a sales job (where I didn't have a cap on my income) and started applying what I'd been reading in the self-improvement books for the past couple years. I really starting working on myself and applying it. Sales is great as you learn as you go and the skill-set you gain will help you in all endeavours.

The last few years I've been averaging six-figures in my sales job, I own 10 rental units, and make an income from my investments that can fund all of my necessities.

I don't know if this would have all happened though if I didn't come to that low point in my life at the gas station 6 years ago.

You're at your low, now use that to drive you and take action.

 

[Semmy]

Great that you had the courage to post this to get yourself out of your situation.

Feeling stuck and not being able to move to the extend being suicidal because of past
mistakes and major life turns (without getting into details) I can highly relate
how you are feeling right now. Hint: it is not the money that will get you out
of your place. Money multiplies always what you ARE. I had some scary and
frightening moments in the past when my bank account was quit stuffed.
If you read MJs The Millionaire Fastlane book already know that the "losers"
exist even with big bank accounts and the "losing" is connect with roadmap
you are traveling with, not necessarily with available money at hand.


To compensate for time "lost" - remember that the Fastlane gives you a away to get
to the place where you want to get no matter what the backstory is. A
ll that is count what are you starting to do from today.

And time is actually really just a concept. So I agree with @Diagramma and @Mattie about this,
like Steve Siebold quote from @Silverhawk851

I highly recommend you to read and apply www.thework.com from Byron Katie.

This book is one of the tools that helped me to get me out of my
situation where I thought I am trapped and a loser, too.

"Byron Kathleen Reid became severely depressed
while in her thirties. Over a ten-year period her
depression deepened, and for the last two years
Katie (as she is called) was seldom able to leave her
bedroom. Then one morning, from the depths of
despair, she experienced a life-changing realization..."

Download the free working PDFs at
http://thework.com/dothework.php
http://thework.com/downloads/little_book/English_LB.pdf

And no - this is nothing religious and not your standard
self-help rah-rah book. And it is not about forcing you to
think different or to just think "positive". That is what I love
about Katies approach: she tells you that thoughts can not be
forced, but how to deal with them to let them go.

In fact it is a powerful way to look at reality for what it really is.
Her book title actually is "Loving What Is". I recommend you to check it out.


In combination whith this I would recommend you to look at www.workthesystem.com to
realize how everything in this world actually is some sort of a mechanical
system - that works without a fail, and despite some people thinking that the
world is utterly chaos it actually has quite some amazing underlying order
and power that you can make your own.

I think the combination for MJs Fastlane book, Katie Byrons TheWork and Sam Carpenters
Work The System you have a powerful combination to get you out of your current
emotional and other wise stuck situation.

Good luck - keep reporting your progress.


P.S.: Yes one classic I want to mention of course. "The Science Of Getting Rich"
by Wallace D. Wattles from 1910 will be something that I keep rereading every 3-4
months: "You must give to every person a use value in excess of the cash value that you receive,
so each transaction makes for more life."

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Mattie]

thoughts can not be
forced, but how to deal with them to let them go.

This is very true. Byron Katie is great! Let go of the story!

 

[Gautham1989]

I am seriously thankful for you wonderful people who've replied here. It's going to be a long battle from now on for me, but I have to win it. Thanks for the encouragement and kick in the butt, everyone.

You can do it. I believe in you!

 

[Daniel A]

I am seriously thankful for you wonderful people who've replied here. It's going to be a long battle from now on for me, but I have to win it. Thanks for the encouragement and kick in the butt, everyone.

Stay on the right path and in the future (maybe 3 years?) you'll have to ask the mods to change your name from "RockBottom" to "TopOfTheMountain" (or something like that).

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Hairy Maclary]

Hello everyone,
After coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my time with a girl who I fell for (she used me and she was not even my girlfriend ), I became depressed, doing nothing from the past 3 years (no job). I always keep on thinking about the mistakes I made in that bad phase. I am possibly in the lowest phase of my life, have zero money and nothing to show for the last 3 years.

I'll give you my two cents, given I was virtually in the same position as you are now.

1c: The fear of missing out is a bitch! But don’t let it fool you, it’s not real. It's just a ridiculous manifestation, created by your ego from a sense of inadequacy. A made up and totally fallacious solution to a much larger problem. Self-worth.

2c: (This follows from above) I only had two years of depression and joblessness, woohoo, but I felt exactly as you did Not fun I know. What might trip you out is the fact that here’s me, three years on, still having “nothing” to show. I say nothing because it is and it isn’t. Yeah sure a fair few of my classmates are well established in their field, making six figure sums. Yeah sure I’m still worried what they’re doing, from time to time, but who cares?

Me?
I’ve actually started loving myself.

If there was anything I could tell you it would be this. Love yourself! Everything else will fall into place.

You just spent ten years as a heroin addict? So what!
What are you doing now? Loving myself! That's right.
That's fricken damn right! Bugger everything else.

Feeling guilty for no reason? Yeah that totally makes sense.
The negative chatter? Nope, no thankyou. Erm... who are you anyway?
The self doubt? Yeah sorry, I'm awesome.

It has been the most profound realisation for me ever, that for pretty much my whole adult life, I haven’t truly loved myself. I've never even really been on my own side. I mean, WTF?!! I’m unsure if I will ever love myself like I loved her, but I’m going to give it a pretty darn good go. This is the only thing that really matters.
You’ve hit rock bottom. One day you’ll realise it’s probably the best thing that has ever happened to you.[/QUOTE]

 

[Oswalito]

I also have nothing to show for the past few years...except lies and manipulation to get around. One day while listening to a hall of fame speech, I heard something that hit me hard... and I thought to myself "Wtf man, get a grip. Time to get up, look up and never give up!"

And that's when I started planning the work on VibeZilla. Which I then followed with execution.

So my advice to you, is gonna be the same advice that got me where I am...

Get up, look up and never give up.