MJ DeMarco
I followed the science; all I found was money.
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My wife and I were engaged in a philosophical thought-experiment the other night, which, in my home, is quite common. In this case, tonight’s discussion was about age.
She’s turning 50. A half-century.
I’m staring down 57.
In a world where most people our age can’t walk a flight of stairs or are knee-deep in medications, we’re both in the best shape of our lives—mentally, physically, and spiritually. Heck, I’m doing jump rope tricks no 57-year-old man should be doing. In other words, we aren’t just surviving, we’re thriving. Our best lives.
Our goal is simple but ambitious: We’d like to hit 100. And I don’t mean hitting 100 while being wheeled around an elderly care facility, staring down a rerun of The Price is Right while some nurse wipes the drool off our chins. I mean, being active, mobile, and hip-hopping right up to the very last second.
Now, if you looked at my genetic blueprint, you’d see a family tree littered with cancer and dementia. My father got hit with the Dementia card at just 62. It’s hard not to feel like I’m a ticking time bomb. But strangely, I don’t view my DNA as the biggest threat to my goals.
The real enemy is much subtler, and it brings me back to the philosophical discussion with my wife: we were discussing mental obstacles called Normative Anchors.
A “normative anchor” is the invisible hook that acts as a limiter, like a speed governor on a Lamborghini, dragging your potential down to the level of the average.
Every human knows that the average person kicks the bucket at 78. Life expectancy. We’ve known this since we were old enough to do basic math. Because this number is the social norm, it becomes a normative anchor. Even though I’m currently defying every health trend for my age, that “Ghost of 78” is in the back of my mind, whispering that I might only have 20 years left.
I wish I could lobotomize that single piece of information from my brain.
Because if you asked me, based solely on how I feel right now, how much longer I’d live? I’d tell you 50 years. Easy. But the knowledge of “78” acts like a psychological speed limiter. It’s a splinter in the mind telling me I only have 20 years left.
The expectation of that 78-year lifespan is the #1 threat to my goal, even though I am currently defying every trend associated with that number. Here’s the philosophy: I wonder.... How much longer would I actually live if I had zero knowledge of human lifespan averages? What if I had a 130 anchor, or no anchor at all?
I’ve seen this movie before.
When I was 25, driving that ratty limousine, and dreaming of making it, I was broke. At the time, my goal was to earn just $50k a year. To my 25-year-old self, that was the mountaintop. (Keep in mind this was the late 90s, so more like $100K today.)
Why $50k? Because that was the normative anchor. It was what an upper-middle-class, good job paid. It’s what my best performing peers were making. It’s what society deemed a respectable middle-class victory.
Because my expectations were anchored to the norm, I worked hard to hit it, but didn’t realize at the time that the anchor was actually a false ceiling. The reality was, I could make $50K a MONTH, not a YEAR, if I eliminated “bad math” and applied Fastlane mathematics. The first month I made more than $5K (about $60K/year), I tossed the normative anchor. By the next year, I was making $100K/month.
Understand this: Your expectations define the framework and ceilings for the work that follows.
Poor expectations are the #1 threat to your success.
Whether it’s a “normative anchor” forced on you by society or a jaded parent, or a limit you’ve subconsciously set for yourself, expectations dictate exactly when you will quit and when you will continue.
In my longevity case, the 78-year anchor is a detriment. I FN hate it, and I’ve decoupled from that norm so I can live another 50 years of high-performance, not a 20-year crawl to the grave.
Why does any of this matter?
Because in business, having the wrong expectations is a death sentence. It’s the #1 reason most entrepreneurs quit ... not three feet from gold, but twenty. Expectations doom them from the start. I’ve seen it on the forum a gazillion times.
But for now, I’ll leave you with this: What normative anchors are currently tainting your potential?
Next week: The 3 complications of warped expectations and how they will almost always guarantee your failure. Fix them, and you clear the road to success.
May you Choose Hard so you can Live Easy.
She’s turning 50. A half-century.
I’m staring down 57.
In a world where most people our age can’t walk a flight of stairs or are knee-deep in medications, we’re both in the best shape of our lives—mentally, physically, and spiritually. Heck, I’m doing jump rope tricks no 57-year-old man should be doing. In other words, we aren’t just surviving, we’re thriving. Our best lives.
Our goal is simple but ambitious: We’d like to hit 100. And I don’t mean hitting 100 while being wheeled around an elderly care facility, staring down a rerun of The Price is Right while some nurse wipes the drool off our chins. I mean, being active, mobile, and hip-hopping right up to the very last second.
Now, if you looked at my genetic blueprint, you’d see a family tree littered with cancer and dementia. My father got hit with the Dementia card at just 62. It’s hard not to feel like I’m a ticking time bomb. But strangely, I don’t view my DNA as the biggest threat to my goals.
The real enemy is much subtler, and it brings me back to the philosophical discussion with my wife: we were discussing mental obstacles called Normative Anchors.
A “normative anchor” is the invisible hook that acts as a limiter, like a speed governor on a Lamborghini, dragging your potential down to the level of the average.
Every human knows that the average person kicks the bucket at 78. Life expectancy. We’ve known this since we were old enough to do basic math. Because this number is the social norm, it becomes a normative anchor. Even though I’m currently defying every health trend for my age, that “Ghost of 78” is in the back of my mind, whispering that I might only have 20 years left.
I wish I could lobotomize that single piece of information from my brain.
Because if you asked me, based solely on how I feel right now, how much longer I’d live? I’d tell you 50 years. Easy. But the knowledge of “78” acts like a psychological speed limiter. It’s a splinter in the mind telling me I only have 20 years left.
The expectation of that 78-year lifespan is the #1 threat to my goal, even though I am currently defying every trend associated with that number. Here’s the philosophy: I wonder.... How much longer would I actually live if I had zero knowledge of human lifespan averages? What if I had a 130 anchor, or no anchor at all?
I’ve seen this movie before.
When I was 25, driving that ratty limousine, and dreaming of making it, I was broke. At the time, my goal was to earn just $50k a year. To my 25-year-old self, that was the mountaintop. (Keep in mind this was the late 90s, so more like $100K today.)
Why $50k? Because that was the normative anchor. It was what an upper-middle-class, good job paid. It’s what my best performing peers were making. It’s what society deemed a respectable middle-class victory.
Because my expectations were anchored to the norm, I worked hard to hit it, but didn’t realize at the time that the anchor was actually a false ceiling. The reality was, I could make $50K a MONTH, not a YEAR, if I eliminated “bad math” and applied Fastlane mathematics. The first month I made more than $5K (about $60K/year), I tossed the normative anchor. By the next year, I was making $100K/month.
Understand this: Your expectations define the framework and ceilings for the work that follows.
Poor expectations are the #1 threat to your success.
Whether it’s a “normative anchor” forced on you by society or a jaded parent, or a limit you’ve subconsciously set for yourself, expectations dictate exactly when you will quit and when you will continue.
In my longevity case, the 78-year anchor is a detriment. I FN hate it, and I’ve decoupled from that norm so I can live another 50 years of high-performance, not a 20-year crawl to the grave.
Why does any of this matter?
Because in business, having the wrong expectations is a death sentence. It’s the #1 reason most entrepreneurs quit ... not three feet from gold, but twenty. Expectations doom them from the start. I’ve seen it on the forum a gazillion times.
But for now, I’ll leave you with this: What normative anchors are currently tainting your potential?
- It’s normal to retire at 65... why not never retire and do meaningful work you don’t want to quit?
- It’s normal to be on medications by 50. Why not treat your health with dignity so you don’t need meds?
- It’s normal to save 10% and invest in the stock market. Why not save 50% because you make so much damn money?
- It’s normal to get married in your twenties. Why not wait until you're 30 or 40 when you know yourself completely?
- It’s normal to spend 4 years in college. Why go and instead start a business? Go to a trade school?
Next week: The 3 complications of warped expectations and how they will almost always guarantee your failure. Fix them, and you clear the road to success.
May you Choose Hard so you can Live Easy.
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You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.
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