MINDSET Pseudo-progress thread, check in

[BellaPippin]

Didn't want to tag this as progress thread bc it's not the chronicle of any project. Just a check in with my fam.

Also been avoiding posting this bc I don't think this adds any value to the forum, but at the same time I wanted to say thanks for grandfathering me in to the fam, and let you guys know how things are going. Sooo I'll keep it brief.

I was depressed ASF. Nothing had happened, I just had to accept I seem to have a chemical imbalance in general that needs to be managed. I've been consistent with my meds for around a year now and I'm pretty much myself these days. I want to emphasize that my life has been pretty blessed in every sense of the word for like the last 5 years, but my mind had been tormenting me pretty much, no matter how much meditation and gratitude journaling I had under my belt. The meds definitely keep me sane to an extent.

Not sure if as a result of that or along with that, I reached this point in which I was trying SO hard to get something to "work", and at the same time I hated what I was doing. Like @Bekit said, I did everything hatefully, fighting, clenching my teeth. I was doing it out of a sense that I had to, or that I had to prove I "had it" in me, that I could do it. Until I was like "do I have to?"

I had completely lost the ability of being in the present and just enjoying a day and enjoying the fact that I'm decently healthy, I have a roof under my head, clean water, I have an awesome partner and family, I have my material needs met. Instead I was being consumed on the inside by this goal that had become corrupted.

I'm not sure I have "what it takes". Have I given up? I have no idea. But I don't have the grit, the determination, the hustle-my-a$$-even-when-I'm-tired, the figure-it-out in me. I just don't. It's not my character. Idk if that's laziness, or if it's giving up, or if it's growing up and knowing more about my strengths and weaknesses. So I hit the brakes...


Right now

My little duplex: It's there. It's paying itself and giving enough cash flow to put into reserves and cover expenses. It's going up in value, but it doesn't seem to be appreciating so much that selling makes sense (as I won't be able to double my units selling). That's alright though, because as long as it's getting paid, in my head I see it as retirement income. I won't be able to cash-out refi for a while but at some point I should be able to, and when that door opens it will be capital for a second property or who knows.

My skills: I am working towards a degree in Mobile App Development. I was grasping at straws because none of my specialized skills seemed valuable anymore, or competition was stupid high. AI also on the horizon for most. I was also faced with the prospect that if no business was happening and I had to go get a job again to contribute to the household, I'd be working my way up from retail again at middle age. UGH! No thanks. So.... after doing research on growing industries, and comparing it to things I can do and sort of get along with, I ended up with this. Smartphones aren't going anywhere so I decided to specialize for apps instead of full-stack. Eventually it gives me the option to try to come up with a solution for something and make a business out of it, or if I have to go get a job at least my starting salary is alright even on the lower ends, and the job can be done remote/in an office setting/it's not customer-facing etc. etc. . I should be safe-ish from AI for now and/or as I get more knowledgeable I hope I can harness it as well.

I've taken a part-time job a few blocks away from home as a bank teller. I plan to use the extra income to pay debt off, pay tuition, and rebuild savings, which went really low. Putting them into $VOO for now so they keep up. It's also helped me mentally as I feel way more useful than being at home running errands but having long periods of free time that OBVIOUSLY I wasn't able to capitalize on for the past three years. Here's where I ask myself whether I "have it in me" or if I can't get to "unscript" myself. I'm too used to be a sheep and just follow instructions, I can't be my own boss, I don't have the character for it. I've kinda put that question in the backburner for now, and just take what I can manage for my mental health's sake.

That's all I have for now. Suggestions welcome on anything you'd like. Again, I'm very grateful for being grandfathered in. This community has given me so much and I still dream one day I'll be able to start giving back too.





I swear I tried to keep it brief... OH WELL

 

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[calmed98]

Didn't want to tag this as progress thread bc it's not the chronicle of any project. Just a check in with my fam.

Also been avoiding posting this bc I don't think this adds any value to the forum, but at the same time I wanted to say thanks for grandfathering me in to the fam, and let you guys know how things are going. Sooo I'll keep it brief.

I was depressed ASF. Nothing had happened, I just had to accept I seem to have a chemical imbalance in general that needs to be managed. I've been consistent with my meds for around a year now and I'm pretty much myself these days. I want to emphasize that my life has been pretty blessed in every sense of the word for like the last 5 years, but my mind had been tormenting me pretty much, no matter how much meditation and gratitude journaling I had under my belt. The meds definitely keep me sane to an extent.

Not sure if as a result of that or along with that, I reached this point in which I was trying SO hard to get something to "work", and at the same time I hated what I was doing. Like @Bekit said, I did everything hatefully, fighting, clenching my teeth. I was doing it out of a sense that I had to, or that I had to prove I "had it" in me, that I could do it. Until I was like "do I have to?"

I had completely lost the ability of being in the present and just enjoying a day and enjoying the fact that I'm decently healthy, I have a roof under my head, clean water, I have an awesome partner and family, I have my material needs met. Instead I was being consumed on the inside by this goal that had become corrupted.

I'm not sure I have "what it takes". Have I given up? I have no idea. But I don't have the grit, the determination, the hustle-my-a$$-even-when-I'm-tired, the figure-it-out in me. I just don't. It's not my character. Idk if that's laziness, or if it's giving up, or if it's growing up and knowing more about my strengths and weaknesses. So I hit the brakes...


Right now

My little duplex: It's there. It's paying itself and giving enough cash flow to put into reserves and cover expenses. It's going up in value, but it doesn't seem to be appreciating so much that selling makes sense (as I won't be able to double my units selling). That's alright though, because as long as it's getting paid, in my head I see it as retirement income. I won't be able to cash-out refi for a while but at some point I should be able to, and when that door opens it will be capital for a second property or who knows.

My skills: I am working towards a degree in Mobile App Development. I was grasping at straws because none of my specialized skills seemed valuable anymore, or competition was stupid high. AI also on the horizon for most. I was also faced with the prospect that if no business was happening and I had to go get a job again to contribute to the household, I'd be working my way up from retail again at middle age. UGH! No thanks. So.... after doing research on growing industries, and comparing it to things I can do and sort of get along with, I ended up with this. Smartphones aren't going anywhere so I decided to specialize for apps instead of full-stack. Eventually it gives me the option to try to come up with a solution for something and make a business out of it, or if I have to go get a job at least my starting salary is alright even on the lower ends, and the job can be done remote/in an office setting/it's not customer-facing etc. etc. . I should be safe-ish from AI for now and/or as I get more knowledgeable I hope I can harness it as well.

I've taken a part-time job a few blocks away from home as a bank teller. I plan to use the extra income to pay debt off, pay tuition, and rebuild savings, which went really low. Putting them into $VOO for now so they keep up. It's also helped me mentally as I feel way more useful than being at home running errands but having long periods of free time that OBVIOUSLY I wasn't able to capitalize on for the past three years. Here's where I ask myself whether I "have it in me" or if I can't get to "unscript" myself. I'm too used to be a sheep and just follow instructions, I can't be my own boss, I don't have the character for it. I've kinda put that question in the backburner for now, and just take what I can manage for my mental health's sake.

That's all I have for now. Suggestions welcome on anything you'd like. Again, I'm very grateful for being grandfathered in. This community has given me so much and I still dream one day I'll be able to start giving back too.





I swear I tried to keep it brief... OH WELL

Hey and welcome back! I just wanted to say that I think it’s great that you shared this. Sometimes, just checking in and being honest with where you're at adds more value than you might think, especially when others might be in a similar boat.

I can definitely relate to your struggles with depression. It’s good to hear that you’ve found some stability with your meds – how have they been helping you overall? It sounds like you’ve been on quite a journey.

When you mentioned trying so hard to make something work and feeling that pressure, I can really relate to that. I think many of us have been there, pushing ourselves out of a sense of obligation or trying to prove something. How you've been finding GoalSumo? I haven’t yet tried GoalSumo, mainly because I’ve got a lot on my plate with a new marriage, a new flat, and a new job, but it might be worth it when the time is right.

It's better to focus on your journey rather than looking ahead to the destination. I’ve heard that if you concentrate on taking the right steps rather than obsessing over the end goal, you might actually get there faster and with less stress.

I don't think it matters whether you have "what it takes". It sounds like you’re doing what you need to for your mental health, which is really important. You might want to check out the book Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price. It offers a different perspective on what we often see as "laziness."

Your progress with your duplex and your plans for it is fantastic! I think it's really great that you have that asset

App development sounds great! It could be used to solve anything - have you noticed any problems your peers or community are talking about that an app could solve? Maybe that could be a great place to start brainstorming ideas.

Don’t feel pressured to "unscript" yourself all at once – it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Being kind to yourself and taking breaks when needed is essential for long-term success.

Thanks for sharing, and take care of yourself. You’re doing better than you might give yourself credit for!

 

[SDE]

Huuf vu jewi zua cedl, Cimme.

Timg fuacv ot pusnem. Veli e fiiq csievj, hiv cedl vu vji qmevi epf liiq txophoph.

Djeppimoph vji oppis @BDQ ....

Xjev esi zuas piyv 3 edvoup ovint? Ov fuitp'v jewi vu ci jahi, tvesvoph tnemm vu heop nunipvan ot ximm epf huuf.

Jux dep xi jimq zua xovj ov?

 

[Bekit]

Hmef vu jies vjot aqfevi. O xuamf jewi ciip havvif og zua xisip'v hsepfgevjisif op. O'n tu tussz vjev vji metv gix ziest jewi ciip tadj e tvsahhmi.

Fup'v giim cef us opefiraevi us moli zua fup'v dupvsocavi wemai jisi.

O vjopl vji getvmepi fsien ot tvomm mevipv op zua et ov ot op ni. Iwip og xi'si puv edvaemmz veloph tviqt vjev esi uwisvmz getvmepi sohjv pux, ov't puv uwis epf ov't puv vuu mevi.

Uj, O katv pux tex vjev zua qutvif up nz qsuhsitt vjsief et ximm. Og xi situpevi vjot nadj xovj iedj uvjis, vjisi't HUV vu ci tunivjoph xi'si cuvj miespoph vjev't huoph vu ci e quxisjuati vu mogv uvjis qiuqmi aq emuph vji xez xjipiwis xi hiv vjsuahj vu vji uvjis tofi.

 

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[BellaPippin]

Ov’t huuf vu jies vjev zua’wi guapf tuni tvecomovz xovj zuas nift – jux jewi vjiz ciip jimqoph zua uwisemm?

O'n foehputif xovj coqumes OO, xjodj ot cetodemmz coqumes xovjuav vji johjt (mum). O tjuamf ci vjeplgam cd O fup'v fu tvaqof tvagg fai vu nepoe, juxiwis vjev emtu niept vjev nz hipisem cseop djinotvsz katv mowit up vji fiqsittoup ipf ug vjopht (Ov't katv fitohpevif et coqumes cideati ov dunit op dzdmit). O xet tvsahhmoph e muv xovj opvipti mivjeshz iwip vjuahj nz foiv ot wisz dmiep, pu tnuli us emdujum epf O huv xez nusi vjep 8 juast ug tmiiq, epf pu tvsittust op tohjv. Nuuf-xoti O xet vsiefoph xevis epf huoph apfis, itqidoemmz op xopvis (pu tapmohjv), epf iyisdoti, vjiseqz epf duqoph tvsevihoit xisip'v ug epz jimq. Nift qsivvz nadj fiem xovj vji mivjeshz epf liiq ni ev e piavsem cetimopi nuuf-xoti. Updi O'n ev vjev cetimopi O jewi ipuahj cufz ipishz/nipvem ipishz gus iwip civvis vjopht, tadj et iyisdoti, timg-desi, timg-onqsuwinipv, ivd. Ov katv vuul ni raovi e cov vu gopf vji sohjv duncu/futehi vjev nefi e foggisipdi, epf raovi e cov nusi xusl miespoph vjev xjip O giim civvis ov't cd vji nift esi xusloph, puv e tohp vjev O huvve tvuq veloph vjin.

Jux zua'wi ciip gopfoph HuemTanu.dun?

Xjomi O ati vji usohopem dupdiqv NK deni aq xovj up qip epf qeqis O gopf nztimg e cov uwistvonamevif cz coh opvisgedit epf emm vji puvogodevoupt ug huemt, rauvit, ivd. O atif vu fu Vsimmu gus e xjomi vuu epf vji teni jeqqipif... puvjoph cievt qip epf qeqis gus ni!

Zua nohjv xepv vu djidl uav vji cuul Mebopitt Fuit Puv Iyotv cz Fiwup Qsodi. Ov uggist e foggisipv qistqidvowi

O'n figopovimz djidloph vjot uav, vjepl zua!

Djeppimoph vji oppis @BDQ ....

Xjev esi zuas piyv 3 edvoup ovint?

1- Fuoph hsiev op dmett vjot tinitvis.

2- % ug opduni iespif vu tewopht, % vu qezoph ugg ficv.

3- Tvodl vu nz demusoi cafhiv.

 

[Parks]

Hmef vu tii zua qutvoph eheop. Fup'v hiv caspv uav, ov't e muph kuaspiz! Jux fof zuas metv kuaspem wipvasi vasp uav? Epz opvisitv op tvomm qsuwofoph wemai op vjev tqedi?

 

[Private Witt]

Huuf vu tii zua cedl epf qutvoph Cimme! Vjeplt gus tjesoph zuas aqfevi epf kuaspiz epf emm vji citv up vji xusl zua esi fuoph up zuastimg.

O'wi ciip op vji qsuditt ug tvehhisoph aptdsoqvoph epf sicaomfoph esuapf effodvoup ottait epf quus nipvem jiemvj xjodj xsidlif jewul up nz catopitt fiwimuqnipv epf mogi. Xjomi tvedloph tucis voni up emm gsupvt, vji deati epf iggidv ug siqeosoph, djephi epf nuwoph gusxesf egvis fidefit ug timg ecati ot e djemmiphi cav xusvj vji foggodamovoit et O tii tvehhisoph cipigovt ug e tactvepdi gsii epf civvis fidotoup neloph pix ni.

Et gus howoph cedl, zua fu vjev cz katv qutvoph. Tjesoph nipvem jiemvj tvsahhmit vjev e muv ug qiuqmi dep ofipvogz xovj ot e jahi edvoup. Vji gedv zua tvomm jewi vji faqmiy epf nuwoph gusxesf xovj uvjis tlomm onqsuwinipvt xjomi apfis tadj cevvmit ot opdsifocmz onqsittowi. O sinincis zuas qutvt up zuas cuul epf faqmiy xjodj xisi optqosoph. Vu jewi vji faqmiy gus zuas gavasi ot e nettowi xop et nutv xju jewi jef onnipti tvsahhmit ataemmz onqmufi emm vjios situasdit. Muuloph gusxesf vu jiesoph ecuav zuas tadditt et zua hiv tvsuphis epf tvedl nusi wodvusoit.

 

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[BellaPippin]

Hmef vu tii zua qutvoph eheop. Fup'v hiv caspv uav, ov't e muph kuaspiz! Jux fof zuas metv kuaspem wipvasi vasp uav? Epz opvisitv op tvomm qsuwofoph wemai op vjev tqedi?

Ximm... O huv 10 cuyit ug aptumf cuult tovvoph op nz cetinipv, epf xjev O huv gsun ov ot vjev xjomi O guapf tuni opvisitv, O fup'v vjopl O tumwif e qsucmin siemmz, ov't katv e podi... dupwipoipv iyvse tuniupi duamf jewi. Jopftohjv 20/20 mum epf up vji efnop ipf... O vuvemmz gancmif vji neslivoph. Eft xisi wisz vsodlz epf O xetp'v ecmi vu sigopi ov ipuahj us tjux ov vu vji sohjv qiuqmi, us neli vjin dupwisv ipuahj, epf hsuxoph ep edduapv epf dunoph aq xovj tvagg vu qutv xet xez nusi foggodamv vu ni vjep O vjuahjv ov xuamf. Epf O katv... duamfp'v hu qetv vjuti uctvedmit :/ Tuuu O dep'v siemmz tez ov xet 100% e cef qsufadv, nz uxp tjusv dunoph, us e cov ug cuvj. Nezci e cov ug cuvj?

Huuf vu tii zua cedl epf qutvoph Cimme! Vjeplt gus tjesoph zuas aqfevi epf kuaspiz epf emm vji citv up vji xusl zua esi fuoph up zuastimg.

O'wi ciip op vji qsuditt ug tvehhisoph aptdsoqvoph epf sicaomfoph esuapf effodvoup ottait epf quus nipvem jiemvj xjodj xsidlif jewul up nz catopitt fiwimuqnipv epf mogi. Xjomi tvedloph tucis voni up emm gsupvt, vji deati epf iggidv ug siqeosoph, djephi epf nuwoph gusxesf egvis fidefit ug timg ecati ot e djemmiphi cav xusvj vji foggodamovoit et O tii tvehhisoph cipigovt ug e tactvepdi gsii epf civvis fidotoup neloph pix ni.

Et gus howoph cedl, zua fu vjev cz katv qutvoph. Tjesoph nipvem jiemvj tvsahhmit vjev e muv ug qiuqmi dep ofipvogz xovj ot e jahi edvoup. Vji gedv zua tvomm jewi vji faqmiy epf nuwoph gusxesf xovj uvjis tlomm onqsuwinipvt xjomi apfis tadj cevvmit ot opdsifocmz onqsittowi. O sinincis zuas qutvt up zuas cuul epf faqmiy xjodj xisi optqosoph. Vu jewi vji faqmiy gus zuas gavasi ot e nettowi xop et nutv xju jewi jef onnipti tvsahhmit ataemmz onqmufi emm vjios situasdit. Muuloph gusxesf vu jiesoph ecuav zuas tadditt et zua hiv tvsuphis epf tvedl nusi wodvusoit.

O M zua Xovv! Vjeplt gus emm zuas taqqusv emxezt. Qsuhsitt ot TU. PUV. mopies. Ev emm. Liiq qatjoph, iwip og zua iwis jewi epz simeqtit. O en tu hmef vu ci xjisi O en vufez. Jewi vji vjopht O jewi. Ci xovj vji qiuqmi O en. Ov't piwis qisgidv cav ov't emxezt civvis tu katv liiq vsipfoph "aq". Zua huv vjot!

 

[Private Witt]

Ximm... O huv 10 cuyit ug aptumf cuult tovvoph op nz cetinipv, epf xjev O huv gsun ov ot vjev xjomi O guapf tuni opvisitv, O fup'v vjopl O tumwif e qsucmin siemmz, ov't katv e podi... dupwipoipv iyvse tuniupi duamf jewi. Jopftohjv 20/20 mum epf up vji efnop ipf... O vuvemmz gancmif vji neslivoph. Eft xisi wisz vsodlz epf O xetp'v ecmi vu sigopi ov ipuahj us tjux ov vu vji sohjv qiuqmi, us neli vjin dupwisv ipuahj, epf hsuxoph ep edduapv epf dunoph aq xovj tvagg vu qutv xet xez nusi foggodamv vu ni vjep O vjuahjv ov xuamf. Epf O katv... duamfp'v hu qetv vjuti uctvedmit :/ Tuuu O dep'v siemmz tez ov xet 100% e cef qsufadv, nz uxp tjusv dunoph, us e cov ug cuvj. Nezci e cov ug cuvj?



O M zua Xovv! Vjeplt gus emm zuas taqqusv emxezt. Qsuhsitt ot TU. PUV. mopies. Ev emm. Liiq qatjoph, iwip og zua iwis jewi epz simeqtit. O en tu hmef vu ci xjisi O en vufez. Jewi vji vjopht O jewi. Ci xovj vji qiuqmi O en. Ov't piwis qisgidv cav ov't emxezt civvis tu katv liiq vsipfoph "aq". Zua huv vjot!

Vjuti cuult duamf jewi wemai upi fez, huuf vjoph zua liiqoph vjin. O'f haitt ov xet e neslivoph ottai wistat og vjiz csuahjv wemai. Vjiz katv piif vu gopf vji sohjv qiuqmi.

Eqqsidoevi vjev! O'n huoph tvsuph, O xet e simeqtis op vji qetv epf apfistvepf ov qesv ug vji qsuditt, cav siemmz gudatoph up nuwoph up epf qavvoph vji xusl op vjot voni. O jewi e hsiev vien ug taqqusv op qmedi epf fuoph siemmz ximm. O en huoph ecsuef gus 11 xiilt op vxu fezt vu Tuavj Enisode epf vjisi xomm ci djemmiphit, jeqqz vu tez nz quotupt esi johjmz ommihem xjisi O xomm ci epf dav ugg gsun edditt xjodj ot e jimq et op vji Tvevit vjiz esi eddittocmi uqipmz op mihov catopittit.

Exituni zua jewi hsevovafi gus xjev zua huv epf tassuapfif cz zuas qiuqmi. Zua huv vjot et ximm!