Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married! (Or Maybe You Should?)

[MattCour]

Some very valid and insightful posts in this thread. I can speak from experience that divorce especially with children is a very scary, expensive and emotional ordeal.

Some lawyers will advise their clients to say almost anything to gain the upper hand with a custody battle. I'm talking things that could land the other person in handcuffs. SCARY STUFF! I could completely understand why a successful person would not want to take the risk.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Deleted20833]

Quick credibility explanation. The reason you should listen to me is because I have been coaching men for the last 10 years on women and relationships. Many men over 40 have been severely damaged by a financial catastrophe that can be EASILY avoided. This goes for women also, I'm not posting this for the men only.

The easiest way to get rich and avoid financial ruin is.....

1- follow what's in the fastlane
2- pay all your taxes
3- do not get married, and do not get divorced

As far as #3, the signs are everywhere. Marriage and divorce ruin your finances. But most people refuse to see the evidence that is right in front of their face, because they are blinded by love and tradition, wanting to do the same things their parents did.

News flash! The laws have completely changed since your parents got married. You will be wiped out for sure if you have money and you get a divorce.

I urge you to watch this documentary on the divorce industry-

To put it in a nutshell:
The laws have changed. Divorce is an industry now. There is massive collusion between judges and lawyers, and they will take all your cash and liquidate your assets during a divorce proceedings. There's no rules in Family Court. Judges don't have to go by laws or precedents. They can do anything they want. There is no oversight and no challenging them.

On day 1, you sign up for a divorce attorney and they will often put a lien on your house and other assets just in case you can't pay. The judge can then order your house to be sold to pay legal fees.

After day 1, the judges and lawyers team up to drag out the case as long as possible.

In summary, it's not that you need to worry about your spouse taking your money, it's the lawyers that will take it.

I know a girl whose parents spent $600K on a divorce, and it's not over yet!

BUT WAIT, I CAN GET MARRIED BECAUSE I WON'T BE GETTING DIVORCED!
Nope sorry, the stats just don't support this. More than half of marriages end up in divorce and there's nothing special about you or your spouse that will change this. As you grow your fortune, you also incentivize your spouse to divorce you. Do you really want to have a 50% chance of getting financially wiped out? People change, goals change, relationships end. You can't fight this, it's human nature.

Marriage is a dirty business.
Divorce is even more dirty!

Again, please watch that entire documentary, it's available on iTunes. Don't be blind to the biggest mistake of your life.

BTW I'm single so I have no ax to grind. I just feel I'm one of the few people paying attention to what's actually going on, so I wanted to share it with you here.


Edited by Vigilante as we don't permit frat boy slang in this forum.

Thank you, you've saved me future millions

 

[StevieB]

What I don't agree on.

Divorce is inevitable - I don't agree with this for multiple reasons. The first of which is simply that if it was inevitable, then all marriages would end in divorce, not 50%.

There's nothing special about you and your spouse that will changes this - I don't agree with this because there are plenty of people whose relationships last. Not everyone blindly picks a mate. Some people spend years getting it right.

Do you really want to have a 50% chance of getting financially wiped out? - I will gladly accept this chance, because I wouldn't even have half of what I have right now if it wasn't for my spouse.

Obviously some marriages don't end well. That part is clear. That doesn't mean all marriages don't end well. Instead of assuming failure, why not work at incentivizing a spouse to stay.

You have to take calculated risks. Not stupid risks.

I'm not saying everyone should rush out and get married. But assuming it can't, or won't work, based on statistics is no different than assuming you can't or won't get rich because so few people make it happen.

The 1% gets freedom. The 1% gets happiness. The 1% don't live in fear of what might happen.

P.S. Sorry for the knee-jerk response. I do that sometimes.

The point wasn't that a marriage can't last, obviously some do.

The point is would you risk a 50% chance of having your finances being wiped out when you can do anything you can being married that you can without getting married.

In other words, what advantage does marriage provide?

There's very high risk involved with no benefit. It doesn't really make sense.

I've been engaged twice and am SOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad I never went through with it. You NEVER really know what can happen down the road no matter how happy you are with your partner in current circumstances.

The murder/suicide part the preview brings up is NO JOKE. My girlfriend likes to watch Investigation Discovery and almost every time I pass by and listen to some of it, it's a case were someone was murdered because they didn't want to go through divorce.

 

[StevieB]

I have been sitting in this exact spot several times over the past several years, watching the sun set. I came to realize, in this exact spot, that the total number of sunsets you get to watch is fixed and diminishing.

I can tell you that I couldn't imagine it without my wife. Breathing. Living. Drinking in a sunset over the pacific ocean. You're worried about money ? I guess we're focused on different things. Pick better.

I've lost it all, and had to climb back up again. Lost so much that there was only one person that was left standing with me. And she's entitled... to...half.

I have been sitting in this exact spot several times over the past several years, watching the sun set. I came to realize, in this exact spot, that the total number of sunsets you get to watch is fixed and diminishing.

I can tell you that I couldn't imagine it without my girlfriend. Breathing. Living. Drinking in a sunset over the pacific ocean. You're worried about money ? I guess we're focused on different things. Pick better.

I've lost it all, and had to climb back up again. Lost so much that there was only one person that was left standing with me. And she's entitled... to...half.



Has anyone explained the advantage of marriage?

If so I must have missed it. Zero advantage. You can do everything you can do in marriage without it. It's a piece of paper and people do it because their parents did it or they need to 'prove their love' so they get married.

I think staying together without getting married is much more 'proof of love' than getting married and staying together, because then the only incentive you have to stay is simply to be with them. As opposed to staying with someone when your married there's TONS of incentive to stay with them outside of that which should be obvious from this thread.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Vigilante]

P.S my woman is of Russian decent so much more feminine that the typical western woman,

LOL. Most Russian women have to shave their beards more often than I do.

 

[Vigilante]

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates

This quote, above all, is a paraphrase of this entire thread.

 

[AndrewNC]

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates

This quote, above all, is a paraphrase of this entire thread.

Let's turn this thread around....

You seem to be on the side of the fence of being married as an asset to not only your business, but life.

Can you pinpoint the qualities to look for in a women for those single (male) entrepreneurs who may get married in the future?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Vigilante]

Let's turn this thread around....

You seem to be on the side of the fence of being married as an asset to not only your business, but life.

Can you pinpoint the qualities to look for in a women for those single (male) entrepreneurs who may get married in the future?

I am pretty sure we did that somewhere above, but if not... I am sorry bro but this has become one of my least favorite threads on the forum. I only peeked back in here because someone (mis)quoted me. I am (almost) zero percent interested in this "debate" because it's not going to resolve. The divorcees in here have merit to their perspectives.

I have posted about my wife earlier on the forum here:

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/one-reason-i-love-my-wife.44868/

 

[RunWithIt]

LOL. Most Russian women have to shave their beards more often than I do.

LOL If this is true she does it behind closed doors

 

[GlobalWealth]

LOL. Most Russian women have to shave their beards more often than I do.

Coming from someone living in Eastern Europe - this cannot be farther from the truth.

I have been to about 80 countries. And Eastern European women win the beauty contest hands down.

(I am grouping Russian into Eastern European although I have also been to the Asian parts of Russia and there are also beautiful women there as well - just Asian decent not European ).

Sent from my SM-G900FD using Tapatalk

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Captain Jack]

Interesting thread.

My personal opinion: there's really no reason to get married unless you want children.

With that said, if you do get married and are a high earner, only marry someone that is also a high earner AND has shown a high degree of integrity, commitment, and accountability in their career (a physician, for example). Of course, there are no guarantees, but this will reduce your risk (and life is all about calculated risks, no?).

Another option is to marry (and live) outside of the country. True fastlaners should be able to do this easily. Countries with more favorable marriage/divorce laws include the Philippines (marriage is illegal there) and many countries in South America, which feature the "15 minute divorce" (you get what's in your name, she gets what's in her name, and you part ways).

Friends, there are plenty of good marriage options out there for those that seek it.

 

[Vigilante]

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin

 

[Okraz1]

LOL. Most Russian women have to shave their beards more often than I do.

Check your testosterone levels bro, there are lots of options such as TRT to bring your levels back to normal.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Runum]

I have read several pages of posts but not the whole thread. Both sides, valid arguments and merits.

I have a third point of view to add to this conflict. The offspring.

I deal with broken children everyday. The children are caught in the middle and can't get out. They unjustly bear a huge load of burden and are not able to resolve it. I see it in their posture, their faces, their social skills, and other actions.

If I treated these kids the way some parents treat their kids, I would be in jail.

All kids should have two committed involved parents, married, divorced, cohabitating, whatever. The boys need both parents involved. The girls need both parents involved.

Your kids are watching you, they are always learning whether you want them to or not. They see how you treat others especially your spouse. They hear your arguments, they see you throw things and cuss at each other. You are setting the example of how they should act all the time.

We are all human and have our bad moments. However, our kids all deserve better lessons, teachers, parents, etc.

Don't have kids until you are ready to commit. If you have kids please be a parent.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

I fully agree with you that marriage is a sham but heres my take on it.

Currently I am engaged to a beautiful young woman who is eager to satisfy me,

Do I have fear that she will change once the wedding is over - Theres a lingering fear for sure.
Do I Fear she would take half my assets - No

When I met my fiancé 3 years ago I was financially and emotionally lost in life, I am where I am today because of her influence to be a better man, We both don't believe in drawing things out and messy situations so I doubt in the event of a split it would be dirty.

There is a small uncertainty that we may not work out as we advance and get older in life but in this case I will gladly split my assets with her because without her I would still be drinking, smoking, looking for 1 night lays and be at the dead end job that I was at.

Take from this what you will but there are still some good woman out there,
P.S my woman is of Russian decent so much more feminine that the typical western woman,

My Advice,

- If she puts out on the first night - Not relationship material
- If she does not know how to cook - The same
- She must be feminine and want to be a mother - and you must provide the future that this woman deserves for the more you delay the more likely western tendencies will sink in.

I will say I am happy for you. You are doing what you want. You have been warned and you decided to go through it anyway. You are aware of the risk of losing 50%, and you have accepted it. You are naive about a few things tho, and I will point them out because these misconceptions are common and this might help many readers.

#1- We are not talking about losing 50% to a woman. We are talking about losing 80% to lawyers and then half of the remaining 20% to the woman. So you lose about 90% total. Women are not inherently dangerous to your assets, it's the system, the lawyers, the collusion, and the divorce industry that pose the biggest threat. In this scenario your wife becomes merely a pawn or a puppet of the lawyer and the legal system. The influence the lawyers might have over here could be massive, far bigger than you'd ever imaging. I'm not saying that will happen, I'm saying it COULD happen. If there's even a 25% change, why get married when you can do everything the same while unmarried?

#2 You are marrying her because you're so grateful that she "cured you" of your alcohol problem, smoking, and interest in 1 night stands.
If these were problems you wanted to fix, you could have done so on your own, or with a therapist, or with the help of a friend, or by reading self help books. Even a top therapist wouldn't cost more than a few grand. Now you're in a scenario where you're repaying someone for their help by entering into a ominous legal contract that sometimes costs people MILLIONS of dollars and takes at least 50% when thigns go wrong....more like 90% in many cases.

#3 "we don't believe in drawing things out".....come on man, don't you see that if there's a huge financial benefit these kinds of beliefs change? With lawyer influence these beliefs can change? With 15 years of time passing, these beliefs can change? Don't be so naive.

All of the is FACT!

The rest is just my opinion- if you pick a woman based on how fast she has sex and how much she cooks you sound just like all the old fashioned guys who always get sold on marriage and wiped out in divorce.

Look for your inner strength, be an independent man, don't look to a woman to save you from your emotional problems, then reward her with a marriage. The only one who can fix you is you.

Also, WTF are all you guys talking about with Russian women being superior?? They are #1 in gold digging and prostitution. The USA has amazing women, and there are great women all over the world. The reason foreign women are nicer to you is that they want something from you, a green card....DUH!

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

Guys I'm really concerned that men are getting the wrong idea.

You shouldn't be blaming women for the fact that marriage is now a sham and divorce is victimizing men. The divorce industry victimizes women too, it is a predator that doesn't care about your gender, only your bank account and financial assets.

Women have been sold a bill of goods just like men. They've been told since they were 4 years old that you must get married or you are a worthless person. No one has told them that divorce wipes out 80% of your families net worth and endangers the future of your children. So women are not to blame. They have not been warned and they do not have all the info. All the know is that they have been told marriage will improve their chances in life.

So don't blame the women, blame the divorce industry and the new laws.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[GlobalWealth]

Also, WTF are all you guys talking about with Russian women being superior?? They are #1 in gold digging and prostitution. The USA has amazing women, and there are great women all over the world. The reason foreign women are nicer to you is that they want something from you, a green card....DUH!

You had me until this point. Do you have a lot of experience with Russian or Eastern European women?

From your tone it seems not.

I now have a Russian/Latvian gf. I can promise she doesn't want a green card. Hell, she doesn't even like to visit the US. It reminds her of the soviet union. If anything I'm using her for an EU passport....hehe.

Be careful with generalities. It shows ignorance.


Sent from my SM-G900FD using Tapatalk

 

[Captain Jack]

You had me until this point. Do you have a lot of experience with Russian or Eastern European women?

From your tone it seems not.

I now have a Russian/Latvian gf. I can promise she doesn't want a green card. Hell, she doesn't even like to visit the US. It reminds her of the soviet union. If anything I'm using her for an EU passport....hehe.

Be careful with generalities. It shows ignorance.


Sent from my SM-G900FD using Tapatalk

Agreed.

Many women in these "second/third world" countries would prefer that you move there. Most don't want to uproot and leave their families.

From what I've seen, most people that are based in the US believe that other countries are in awe of us and desperately want to live here. For anyone that is well-traveled, you learn very quickly that this is mostly American propaganda.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

I apologize for over generalizing. I'm sure many of the women are great and yours is for sure.

I do have experience, I've been to a few of these countries and interacted with maybe 80-100 of the women. Not a huge sample, but my observation was that it is a cultural norm for women to use men for money, to the point where girls won't even burn their own cell phone minutes if there's a man around, they just use his. It's pretty extreme. Also, prostitution and gold digging is more acceptable. Different cultural norms, I don't judge but I will observe its a fact.

In the USA the women claim to want a guy for his personality but they do get interested in his cash later. In E.Europe they are more comfortable LEADING WITH "what can you buy me?" type interactions.

Anyway, it's off topic. Just my observations.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[GlobalWealth]

No offense taken. But this has not been my experience at all in the region.

Sent from my SM-G900FD using Tapatalk

 

[RunWithIt]

I will say I am happy for you. You are doing what you want. You have been warned and you decided to go through it anyway. You are aware of the risk of losing 50%, and you have accepted it. You are naive about a few things tho, and I will point them out because these misconceptions are common and this might help many readers.

#1- We are not talking about losing 50% to a woman. We are talking about losing 80% to lawyers and then half of the remaining 20% to the woman. So you lose about 90% total. Women are not inherently dangerous to your assets, it's the system, the lawyers, the collusion, and the divorce industry that pose the biggest threat. In this scenario your wife becomes merely a pawn or a puppet of the lawyer and the legal system. The influence the lawyers might have over here could be massive, far bigger than you'd ever imaging. I'm not saying that will happen, I'm saying it COULD happen. If there's even a 25% change, why get married when you can do everything the same while unmarried?

#2 You are marrying her because you're so grateful that she "cured you" of your alcohol problem, smoking, and interest in 1 night stands.
If these were problems you wanted to fix, you could have done so on your own, or with a therapist, or with the help of a friend, or by reading self help books. Even a top therapist wouldn't cost more than a few grand. Now you're in a scenario where you're repaying someone for their help by entering into a ominous legal contract that sometimes costs people MILLIONS of dollars and takes at least 50% when thigns go wrong....more like 90% in many cases.

#3 "we don't believe in drawing things out".....come on man, don't you see that if there's a huge financial benefit these kinds of beliefs change? With lawyer influence these beliefs can change? With 15 years of time passing, these beliefs can change? Don't be so naive.

All of the is FACT!

The rest is just my opinion- if you pick a woman based on how fast she has sex and how much she cooks you sound just like all the old fashioned guys who always get sold on marriage and wiped out in divorce.

Look for your inner strength, be an independent man, don't look to a woman to save you from your emotional problems, then reward her with a marriage. The only one who can fix you is you.

Also, WTF are all you guys talking about with Russian women being superior?? They are #1 in gold digging and prostitution. The USA has amazing women, and there are great women all over the world. The reason foreign women are nicer to you is that they want something from you, a green card....DUH!

Let me clarify some things with you @DreamsCameTrue,

You took all the positive points on my post and found a way to turn them into a negative, I am beginning to think there is more to your madness on the subject,

So here goes, Where would the motive be to use lawyers and legal tactics in the event of a divorce if I am willing to give up 50% of assets without a fight ? Not only does this not make sense ethically but financially as well, it would cost more than it would be worth. I am not entirely sure of the women you date but mine is smarter than that. ( I am sure you are going to bring up kids and custody battles and so on ).

I never once said I was marrying her because I was grateful that she saved me from substance abuse and banging randoms, Perhaps its tough for you to comprehend this because you live in Great Ole America where new age feminism has gone mainstream and obesity is the new "healthy"

I am 28 years old and have lived life as an independent man, what has really changed ? I still travel plenty on my own or with my soon to be wife, I still associate with people I have grown up with, I do what I want that has not changed, what has changed was focusing on the more important things such as becoming a stronger person Physically/psychologically, Bringing more faith into my life, My fiancé is very catholic, Maybe that means nothing to you, That's fine ive seen a whole lot of criticism from people that don't believe in religion, Does it matter to me ? Nope don't care.

As for my home life, let me tell you it is AWESOME, I haven't touched a single cooking utensil in my kitchen since the 3rd week of dating little miss runwithit, not that i am lazy but she simply does not believe it is a mans job to be in the kitchen and is insulted when I try to help out, I take care of the dirtier jobs, renovations, garbage, yard work etc,

When nighttime comes around after she is done making sure the house is spotless, I lay down for my nightly massage and im sure you can imagine what else ( Going to need to re read the rules before I go into details on that one. )

As for Russian women being gold diggers I simply have to put a stop to this feminist myth, If you find a girl in the club or someplace similar it doesn't matter which country there is a high percentage chance she will be after your coin, This is a fact of life.

I Cannot understand why you think USA has the best women, All I can say there is you need to travel more or quit being a feminist.

As they say a picture is worth a thousand words.

 

[Vigilante]

This thread is one more ridiculous post away from being closed. It has been an interesting discussion but it needs to return back to the original topic.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Bouncing Soul]

I know Female Lawyers in CA that have had over half their take-home pay confiscated by the courts to give to their ex-husbands, a truth which demolishes most of the crap on this last page.

PRE-NUP /Thread

 

[Rigged]

I have watched the recommended documentary and I must say it is very shocking. I had no ideea how deep the shithole gets. The way everything is revolving around money and HATE is ridiculous, like a kid gives a shit about who gets the most money. The kid's best interest is diabolically used by both parties/court. Although, it is a documentary and we should consider the facts regarding that.

 

[OVOvince]

Interesting thread.

My personal opinion: there's really no reason to get married unless you want children.

With that said, if you do get married and are a high earner, only marry someone that is also a high earner AND has shown a high degree of integrity, commitment, and accountability in their career (a physician, for example). Of course, there are no guarantees, but this will reduce your risk (and life is all about calculated risks, no?).

Another option is to marry (and live) outside of the country. True fastlaners should be able to do this easily. Countries with more favorable marriage/divorce laws include the Philippines (marriage is illegal there) and many countries in South America, which feature the "15 minute divorce" (you get what's in your name, she gets what's in her name, and you part ways).

Friends, there are plenty of good marriage options out there for those that seek it.

Welp there you have it folks.

Solution for entrepreneurs to protect the riches is to move to the Philippines. Maybe y'all can even start a fastlane colony, tell me that wouldn't be legit

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Captain Jack]

Welp there you have it folks.

Solution for entrepreneurs to protect the riches is to move to the Philippines. Maybe y'all can even start a fastlane colony, tell me that wouldn't be legit

That's definitely not what I said.

 

[RHL]

Then why is it so different with this thread? Why do so many just tune out those who have experienced things in their lives, that many of you simply have not...have paid hundreds of thousands or millions...have seen the pitfalls and failures.

Do you think that's really the best analogy though? It seems to me that the people who have been through six+ figure divorces in this thread have more in common with the people who tried to start a business, went bankrupt, and are now preaching the virtues of the stable corporate job ("a lower-risk option with many of the same benefits"). Do you disagree?

It's always good to have a full and clear view of the risks, and I very much appreciated Esquire's presentation on that topic two years ago. Anyone who ignores your post is imperiling themselves. I'm just still not sold on this idea that high risk means low value. That's almost always the opposite of how the world works.

I can't help but think though that something else is going on here that is really hard to quantify. Maybe it's that long-term commitment from the highest tier of spouses (in terms of success, intelligence, resilience, looks, etc) is frequently inaccessible unless marriage is on the table (and before any of the fastlane divorcees get up in arms, you're living proof, QED). Maybe it's that, while the distribution of assets may not be even within the marriage, it's hard to really put a price on the stable framework of two fully shared incomes, shared health care, and so on, that takes so many worries and distractions off the table in the difficult genesis period of the first successful startup. Maybe it's knowing that you have someone you can tell intimate secrets to, without worrying, "will we still be together in six months?" or who you can ignore at nights for two weeks and not need to apologize when work gets hectic. Teasing that out would require more time than I've got today. I'm not much for introspection.

I'm coming from a very biased perspective on this, as we all are. I think the one thing I would suggest is that people who are chiefly concerned about how submissive or domestic or feminine "their woman" can be or where to go to "get" the best woman would probably do well to take the OP's advice and not get married. I can't really imagine a happy long-term result arising from that selection metric.

 

[GIlman]

@RHL I've said in many of my posts on this topic that I'm not opposed to people getting married. It's that they don't understand what they are getting into that I see as the problem.

The horrific impact a divorce often has on a man or women that is the provider in a relationship is usually brushed under the rug.

Your analogy of it being like someone failing at business and going bankrupt then going back to the corporate world just isn't accurate. They have no choice but to go back to the corporate predictable job, they have no other options. Here is why.

This would be the correct analogy. You and bob start a business. The business thrives and you get to a point where you earn 30K of Revenue a month. Bob loses interest and goes off to pursue other things.

Sometime later someone sues you for trade mark infringement and you have no option but to shut the business down.

Bob then takes you to court claiming that since he was receiving 15K of revenue from the business when it functioned that he can't survive without it.

After 5-6 years of legal battles, and 200K dollars in legal fees you have paid (50K for your attorney plus 150K for his as demanded by the court), you have no choice but to accept an agreement. You have already chewed up the majority of your assets you had earned and saved from the business and are now nearing being in the red. M

He has no risk of financial loss because the court has demanded you pay all of his legal fees until the matter is resolved. As far as he is concerned it might as well go on for decades, bleed you to death, until you agree to his demands, no matter how ridiculous.

So finally you are forced to accept the agreement that you will pay bob 10K per month for the rest of bobs life. If you don't make these payments the court will throw you in jail and while your in jail for 6 months you accumulate $60K of back debt to bob that you must pay back and future interest.

.... And on and on and on it goes.

And now your life is pretty much over financially. Debt is the crushing weight that will destroy your life. It is the one thing that is the most impairing and limiting to people progressing and getting ahead. Because debt is paying in the present for something purchased in the past. There is no present or future value gained for this expense.

And with divorce, there is no bankruptcy. There is no out. If you are demanded to pay, there is no recourse.

The US outlawed debtors courts in the very remote past because we understood that putting someone in jail because they couldn't pay just put them even further behind. That it was a vicious cycle that literally put people in a place they could never overcome.

That is, except for the debts you have to another from marriage. Then it's A-ok.

People look at these scenarios and think your being ridiculous. I remember as my divorce was starting and talking to people about some of the concerns I had. People literally told me I was being ridiculous, that there was no way the system worked that way.

But time and time again the exact things I was worried about came to issue.

But I get it. As human animals we all have instincts. And one of the strongest is to protect our mate.

I don't think I or anyone else here means to denigrate your or anyone else's partner. I have a wonderful partner, and I too am fiercely defensive of her.

Just for me, I now choose to have boundaries in my relationships. And one of those is to keep the state the heck out of it.

If you don't agree with that, no spilt milk. It's just that you choose to accept a high probability of personal and financial ruin for years up to life to be in a relationship. And I and others simply don't.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[RHL]

I don't think I or anyone else here means to denigrate your or anyone else's partner. I have a wonderful partner, and I too am fiercely defensive of her.

I didn't take it that way at all, don't worry. I know we've talked about some of the travails related to this, so I don't mean to marginalize your experience with it either. I know you, Esquire, and Global have all learned about this in the school of hard knocks. I'm certainly listening.

Another thing fastlaners might not be aware of, and I know this is usually a verboten topic on the forum, but I know at least in protestant Christianity, so maybe in Reform Judaism, or some more progressive strains of Catholicism, Orthodoxy, Reform Judaism, or other faiths too (though I can't attest to that), there are a lot of religious leaders who are weary of the state's intervention in marriage, and who would be happy to perform the religious half of the ceremony without involving the certificate or court authorities that would make it "state official." This is something they do from time to time for elderly people whose remarriage would jeopardize pension/medical payments through a deceased spouse. In many countries in Europe, marriage happens this way anyway. For example, in Romania, Christians get married by getting a certificate at the court house, then walking to church for what Americans would recognize as a typical "marriage" ceremony. Grandparents, etc. would never know that this was any different from a normal marriage ceremony, but the only thing binding you to the marriage would be your personal commitment and religious convictions.

I proffer this information for any fastlaners who find themselves saying, "Wow, Esquire, GIlman, and GlobalWealth are making a lot of sense but my religious beliefs won't permit me to act on it.

Good to know all your options. Call around if you're not sure.

 

[GlobalWealth]

.

I proffer this information for any fastlaners who find themselves saying, "Wow, Esquire, GIlman, and GlobalWealth are making a lot of sense but my religious beliefs won't permit me to act on it.

Good to know all your options. Call around if you're not sure.

A good friend who used to work for me did just this. He is a christian and wanted the church ceremony but not the state contract.

He's been married for almost 20 years now. They share the same last name. They have family health insurance. They wven file their taxes as married filong jointly. Not one issue in almost 20 years. But never the state license.



Sent from my SM-G900FD using Tapatalk