Moonlighters, working your business in the evenings/weekends - what drives you?

[AceVentures]

I was having a discussion with myself this morning as a part of what I call "Interviews with Ace". I try to provoke my subconscious, and in dialogue form, I often catch myself revealing hidden intentions. This morning, I gave myself a tough talk. I asked some difficult questions, about what really mattered to me, and about what could be motivating some of my destructive habits that are holding me back from building my business. What did my subconscious tell me? That I don't have my priorities aligned.

Despite being passionate about this idea I'm working on, despite my eager attempt to break the chains from temporal prostitution, I find myself often procrastinating on working on my business. I often get scripted advice on "don't work too hard", "make sure you give yourself enough rest", and a plethora of other suggestions that are limiting. I don't always listen to them, but needless to say I'm afraid I've let my guards down and have been subsequently under-performing.

In the evenings after work, what do you say to yourself to regain focus and get shit done? It's become so easy for me to excuse myself from doing more work, because of "all the work I did at the office, and the killer workout I got today, not to mention all the unimportant errands/calls I took care of". I seemingly wear myself out doing unimportant things, and when I finally have some time on my hands to work on my dreams, I have to dispense willpower to get to work. That shit is limited, and I think I'm dispensing it to convince myself to work on my dreams when I'm already at depleted levels of willpower.

For everyone else that is balls to the walls passionate/stoked/excited about your own Fastlane pursuits while working a full-time job, what keeps you going when the going gets hard? Or long, should I say. What systems do you have in place, if any, to remove the decision-making process and reduce dependency on willpower? What are some of your "why's" that keep you grinding?

I think we all have compelling reasons for the changes we seek in our lives, but what keeps some dreaming and hoping while others commit to the process and take the necessary action? It's not enough to want it, to have the idea. What helps with the execution part?

 

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[Scot]

Coffee. Lots of coffee.

 

[Timmy C]

Coffee, my shitty job, my FTE, positive feedback loops.

 

[FullTimePreneur]

Hi Ace,

It sounds that you feel your willpower diminishes throughout the day, the same thing happens to me. I feel that people fall into either morning people or night owls. Based on what you mentioned, you might be more of a morning person than night owl if you feel you have a lack of energy in the evening. Why not try waking up earlier to work on your business first thing in the morning instead of after work?

Personally, I'm more of a morning person, that's why I choose to wake up at 5am and work on my business first thing in the morning when my willpower is highest. Then when it gets depleted throughout the day my business isn't what suffers the energy loss, it's either my job or those unimportant errands.

 

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[DeletedUser0287]

I use to struggle with the same thing.

In the past, my main motivator was the FTE. I realized that the FTE creates short-term thinking and is a negative energy drive:

"How do I escape my job faster?"
"What is the fastest way to make X dollars so I can not work this crappy job?"

Now, what I do is a hobby with business intentions. My motivation is the freedom to do whatever I want. Tons of value can be added to others, as a second thought actually. I never feel like I am actually working ever since I included "passion."

I have gotten to the point where I can say that if I had a million dollars in the bank, I would still be doing what I am doing.

 

[Solid Snake]

at the risk of sounding corny:
not having money
not having a social circle
coming from a cultural background where family and relatives expect you to be "educated" with a prestigious status-signaling career, otherwise you're seen as a failure.
getting tired of living through the same depressing BS cycle every year. all 4 seasons.

/vent.

dont feel bad for me though. i got a prospecting list to make

 

[Laughingman21]

I set an alarm for 4am and get out of bed without hitting snooze. Once I'm up, it's easy to make myself work as I've already gone through the "painful" part of getting up.

Making sure I go to bed early enough is key and has taken a lot of practice to change old habit. I used to go to bed gone midnight every night, but now being up at 10:30 is a very late night for me.

Taking time to plan is also key. I have a master list of everything I need to get done, but don't overwhelm myself each day. I just pick 1-3 tasks at a time to get done each day.

I split my to do list between Urgent and Important. Often I find urgent tasks aren't actually important and then I can stop and question if it's really urgent if it's not important. Doing this clears the "stuff" tasks that can often eat up my time without moving me forwards.

 

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[AceVentures]

That's precisely it. I am a morning

It sounds that you feel your willpower diminishes throughout the day, the same thing happens to me. I feel that people fall into either morning people or night owls. Based on what you mentioned, you might be more of a morning person than night owl if you feel you have a lack of energy in the evening. Why not try waking up earlier to work on your business first thing in the morning instead of after work?

I set an alarm for 4am and get out of bed without hitting snooze. Once I'm up, it's easy to make myself work as I've already gone through the "painful" part of getting up.

Making sure I go to bed early enough is key and has taken a lot of practice to change old habit. I used to go to bed gone midnight every night, but now being up at 10:30 is a very late night for me.

Taking time to plan is also key. I have a master list of everything I need to get done, but don't overwhelm myself each day. I just pick 1-3 tasks at a time to get done each day.

I split my to do list between Urgent and Important. Often I find urgent tasks aren't actually important and then I can stop and question if it's really urgent if it's not important. Doing this clears the "stuff" tasks that can often eat up my time without moving me forwards.

Gents, many thanks for the feedback and for sharing your personal solutions. I should have mentioned that yes, as you've both discerned, I am a morning person. I can typically wake up at ~5 without much of a problem, but sleep deprivation catches up to me.

Waking up at 4 would require a reorder of my current practices and a big modification to my sleep. Laughingman, you nailed it, sleeping on time is the key.

With that in mind, maybe I can ask a better question to solve my problem - what are some practices that you employ today to make sure you're asleep by ~10PM? Do you have a winding down ritual? Do you workout in the evenings? Around what time do you consume your last piece of caffeine?

Cheers, and thanks again for your advice!

 

[AceVentures]

at the risk of sounding corny:
not having money
not having a social circle
coming from a cultural background where family and relatives expect you to be "educated" with a prestigious status-signaling career, otherwise you're seen as a failure.
getting tired of living through the same depressing BS cycle every year. all 4 seasons.

/vent.

dont feel bad for me though. i got a prospecting list to make

Not feeling bad, that used to be my main motivator. Now that I've graduated, made the grades, got the job and the comfort, and am no longer in starvation mode - I've become soft...

I need some of that energy back! Come on down and rain some disaster on my life to give me some juice lol.

 

[Champion]

Meaning and Purpose - that strong deep desire to making it happen and have your visualisations/dreams turn into reality!

 

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[Tourmaline]

I don't think about it.

I have my to do list. I work on it. I don't need to justify why I should or shouldn't do it, and I don't give myself a chance to. I just do what's on the list that I made the night before. I do not sleep until I finish my 'one thing to do' daily.

I have my vision in mind as I focus on it daily. Perhaps that helps keep whatever 'motivation' is required locked in so when I have time to do, I just do and don't waste time thinking.

 

[Paul David]

I don't think about it.

I have my to do list. I work on it. I don't need to justify why I should or shouldn't do it, and I don't give myself a chance to. I just do what's on the list that I made the night before. I do not sleep until I finish my 'one thing to do' daily.

I have my vision in mind as I focus on it daily. Perhaps that helps keep whatever 'motivation' is required locked in so when I have time to do, I just do and don't waste time thinking.

This.

I've realised myself that when I have too much time to think about things nothing ever gets done. The solution is to plan your day by writing out your to do list then go through it without even thinking.

You have to get into the habit of finishing the urgent/most important things on the list each day then it will become second nature. It's not a discussion you have with yourself about whether to do it or not, you don't have time for that. You can think after it's done.

 

[FullTimePreneur]

Gents, many thanks for the feedback and for sharing your personal solutions. I should have mentioned that yes, as you've both discerned, I am a morning person. I can typically wake up at ~5 without much of a problem, but sleep deprivation catches up to me.

Waking up at 4 would require a reorder of my current practices and a big modification to my sleep. Laughingman, you nailed it, sleeping on time is the key.

With that in mind, maybe I can ask a better question to solve my problem - what are some practices that you employ today to make sure you're asleep by ~10PM? Do you have a winding down ritual? Do you workout in the evenings? Around what time do you consume your last piece of caffeine?

Cheers, and thanks again for your advice!

I can't say I have too many practices, but I try not to have too much caffeine after 12pm and I'll do my workouts in the morning. For winding down in the evening, if I'm not already exhausted, I like the Yogi - caramel soothing bedtime tea.

The Perfect Day Formula by Craig Ballantyne has a very good system to follow, I forget what it is exactly, but it's like 12-4-2 system or something like that. Where it's no caffeine after 12, no alcohol 4 hours before sleeping, and no large meals 2 hours before sleeping. It's a pretty quick read and I feel has a pretty good system to follow if you're interested. In fact, I should probably read this again!

 

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[Tourmaline]

Hmm what's the rational behind no alcohol 4 hours before sleeping?

 

[Solid Snake]

Not feeling bad, that used to be my main motivator. Now that I've graduated, made the grades, got the job and the comfort, and am no longer in starvation mode - I've become soft...

I need some of that energy back! Come on down and rain some disaster on my life to give me some juice lol.

congrats. never graduated myself so im constantly looked down on lol. honestly all this external motivation is BS.

it comes and goes.

question at the end of the day is how bad do you want it?

 

[FullTimePreneur]

Hmm what's the rational behind no alcohol 4 hours before sleeping?

It has something to do with REM sleep. Yea you might be able to fall asleep faster, but in the grand scheme of things, you get a lower quality of sleep. Again, not sure if it's 2, 4, or some other number of hours. The internet can tell you more about it than I can. But as a rule of thumb, the closer you drink before going to bed, the more it'll impact your sleep quality.

 

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[Vegvisir]

Now that I've graduated, made the grades, got the job and the comfort, and am no longer in starvation mode - I've become soft...

This is something I am grappling with currently also. Most of my best entrepreneurial ventures came about when I was broke in college and had my back to the wall. I have had bursts of great progress post college but struggle with maintaining long term discipline. I think somebody already said it in this thread but it comes down do "how bad do you want it?" and the answer/reasons to why for that question will be something only each individual can answer themselves. For me currently its to build the lifestyle I envision for myself in the future, working a job will not get me there.

Ill be keeping an eye on this thread, hopefully somebody has some insight that can provide a more concrete answer.

 

[Evil_Jester]

Lower the bar ridiculously low. Make a goal to work 10 minutes a day on projects after work. That takes off the pressure. Once you start working, you'll probably keep going all night.

 

[AceVentures]

This is something I am grappling with currently also. Most of my best entrepreneurial ventures came about when I was broke in college and had my back to the wall. I have had bursts of great progress post college but struggle with maintaining long term discipline. I think somebody already said it in this thread but it comes down do "how bad do you want it?" and the answer/reasons to why for that question will be something only each individual can answer themselves. For me currently its to build the lifestyle I envision for myself in the future, working a job will not get me there.

Ill be keeping an eye on this thread, hopefully somebody has some insight that can provide a more concrete answer.

I think that answer comes from within.

But, I also consider, why be so goddamn hard on myself all the time? If I die tomorrow, what would I regret most? That I gave a F*ck about what people thought... that I beat myself over the head and abused myself, when the beauty and the love in the world is accessible all along. It's now. I can work on my freedom. But when I'm feeling confident, proud, strong, happy, excited about life, I just want to share it with other people. Live life? Go on fun dates, get to taste incredible foods, share special moments with people you've met randomly, I mean there are infinite ways to live this life.

When I'm not working, I find it so easy to have fun and love life. I'm addicted. So addicted, I don't focus on building long term freedom. Poor logic? If you risk the future, despite its large upside, couldn't you make a case for a crazy roller coaster love filled PRESENT moment life instead? Think about it. There's the time value of money. But there's the time value of time baby. Time today, is what really matters. Time tomorrow is discounted. Its risked. 0 guarantees of a tomorrow. Yellowstone goes boom within 11 minutes we cease to exist. So who F*cking cares that you've got 4 commas on the number in your ATM machine screen? Yellowstone gonna care? Your cool new startup that costs you 100hours a week gonna buy you a beach house when the world is covered in ash? Lol #rantofthenight #jk #needtogetbacktowork

 

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[Guest6814]

What drives me is a desire to improve the general situation for my family and self.

The day job is not a bad one; relatively speaking, it’s well-paying, and there are good benefits plus interesting and valuable work. However, as kids get older, their needs grow. Property taxes and other expenses constantly move on the wrong direction, and incremental annual raises of 1.5-4.5% won’t keep up with those increases.

If I can tap into a different set of talents to work early in the morning (while most are still asleep) to produce something valuable, and thereby improve our situation, then I want to go for it.

Of course there are no guarantees. There are opportunities, though, so why not?

 

[Seamster]

Short version for me is that I'm forced into a lot of it. If I have a vacant rental it's probably costing me $30 a day...making me $30 a day if occupied. It's hard for me to focus on property repair more than a few hours on Saturday and Sunday. I get bored. Coffee helps. Adderall helps more (I have a legal subscription from doctor but I only use it like once a week).

So, weekdays are sometimes like this: I work 9-6 about 90 miles from home home and rent a room near work. After work once a week I'll drive back to a vacant rental property in my hometown, getting there around 7 pm. I get some caffeinated drink for the road. Caffeine is a drug that motivates, causes you to feel energetic, and causes feeling of euphoria. Use it!

I get to the house and work hard for NO MORE THAN 3 hours. Any more than that I feel dread and don't work as hard. When 10 pm comes (or 10:30, as I don't always watch the clock), I shower in the empty house, change clothes, and drive 90 miles back down by work. I treat myself with bar food and a beer at midnight. Then I head back to the apartment and sleep.

People at work think I'm nuts and mister energy man. In truth, it's friggin' $30 a day I'm losing that motivates me the most. They have nothing losing (or making!) them money so they play video games and get fat. At least I have something I working for, win or fail, at least I'm trying.

 

[AceVentures]

Short version for me is that I'm forced into a lot of it. If I have a vacant rental it's probably costing me $30 a day...making me $30 a day if occupied. It's hard for me to focus on property repair more than a few hours on Saturday and Sunday. I get bored. Coffee help. Adderall helps more (I have a legal subscription from doctor but I only use it like once a week).

So, weekdays are sometimes like this: I work 9-6 about 90 miles from home home and rent a room near work. After work once a week I'll drive back to a vacant rental property in my hometown, getting there around 7 pm. I get some caffeinated drink for the road. Caffeine is a drug that motivates, causes you to feel energetic, and causes feeling of euphoria. Use it!

I get to the house and work hard for NO MORE THAN 3 hours. Any more than that I feel dread and don't work as hard. When 10 pm comes (or 10:30, as I don't always watch the clock), I shower in the empty house, change clothes, and drive 90 miles back down by work. I treat myself with bar food and a beer at midnight. Then I head back to the apartment and sleep.

People at work think I'm nuts and mister energy man. In truth, it's friggin' $30 a day I'm losing that motivates me the most. They have nothing losing (or making!) them money so they play video games and get fat. At least I have something I working for, win or fail, at least I'm trying.

Ah the opportunity cost!

I'm wondering if painting an opportunity cost for not following your dreams, maybe a visual of sorts, metaphoric imagery, even better if paired with meaningful text, could serve as a good daily reminder.

I'd put it right up on the wall, to show what you have to lose if you dont follow your dreams.

Thanks for sharing your story mate!

 

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[CardinalFlame]

Awesome post, @AceVentures. Thanks for sharing!

Your "interviews with Ace" sound interesting and remind me of the self mastermind group Napoleon Hill had with famous men of his day and prior (including Abe Lincoln if I remember correctly)! Maybe I need to try this...

I can definitely relate to this! I also get several seemingly helpful tips from friends and loved ones about working too much, etc. It often doesn't play a big role but every once in a while I catch myself getting into this debate internally -even closer to your latest rant about living life in the moment and tomorrow being a larger risk (HA! -we do need to get back to work).

A lot of the suggestions from this thread are great, I use some of them. One big one for me that I haven't seen listed yet is blocking out the world when you first wake up. I forced myself to become a morning person (haven't been until now, I am 29) earlier this year (Feb.) and it has been amazing! The best part about it is waking up with a purpose instead of rolling out of bed and letting the day hit you in the face. I like to "block out the world" when I wake up by heading into my office first thing (ignoring any and all notifications on my phone/technology) and using the next 10-15 minutes to just be with myself. I let my initial feeling spark what I choose to do but my top 5 are:

1. Write down my long term goals ($XX money system, retire by X, etc.)
2. Write down my Why's for my goals
3. Write down my goals or to do list for the DAY
4. Review and take inventory of all the good things in my life at that moment
5. Review my list of favorite quotes (several clearly from MJ's books + many others)

I find that taking these few minutes for ME and me only really help my mindset and motivation the rest of the day. Thanks again for the post - good to know we can all relate!

 

[Envision]

Im always workin. its all i want to do.

If you need to motivate yourself your will power will eventually fade
If you care about what anyone thinks you will most likely give in when things get hard

I dont think its something you need to find or something you need to do.

Process > Events

 

[MHP368]

Its part of the "ritual" so its one habitual action attached to a certain part of the day (mornings) certain days of the week (non work days)

Breakfast , glass of water, medicine , vitamin , floss brush and shower, meditate , exercise , work

If I miss one the ritual isnt complete and I feel funny.

Build a habit , then another and another until its a ritual.

 

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[struka]

Now that I've graduated, made the grades, got the job and the comfort, and am no longer in starvation mode - I've become soft...

I need some of that energy back! Come on down and rain some disaster on my life to give me some juice lol.

I have the same thing. I get motivated in bursts of energy but being that I have a comfortable life, it dies down so I feel your pain.

 

[Real Deal Denver]

I'm going to guess that you're young. I say that because I worked my butt off in several jobs for the benefit of everyone except me when I was young. It wasn't all bad - I learned a lot - but I sure wouldn't tolerate the crap today that I did then.

As you get older you see things differently. You realize that it's up to you to make it, and your job is only a machine of which you are one small part of. One day you wake up and want more. But that doesn't happen right away. Just like it takes water a while to boil, it will take you a while to build up that fire in your belly.

When you get there, you'll have all the drive and energy you'll need. Trust me.

Not knowing you, other factors that will greatly motivate you are a good woman in your life and/or providing for a family. That will harden your resolve and give you fortitude damn quick.

With that in mind, maybe I can ask a better question to solve my problem - what are some practices that you employ today to make sure you're asleep by ~10PM? Do you have a winding down ritual?

Read. Exercise and feed your mind. It's your biggest asset so spend some time nurturing it and allowing it to grow. When I read before going to bed it is to turn OFF the worries and concerns of the day and turn ON the planning and dreaming stage that my mind feeds on. Soon this will be a part of your day that you look forward to. I work and fight to get ahead in the day - at night I set my mind free, and in the morning I spend a good amount of time contemplating what I thought about during the night, which helps me to focus better and plan my day.

Reading is so enjoyable that I buy books much faster than I can read them. I have over 50 on my list ready to go as I get to them.

On the other hand, do NOT watch TV or play video games before you go to bed. That does not engage your mind. As far as alcohol, that has been mentioned here - I have no set rule on that - if I want to relax, I may drink as I read. It's seldom that I do, but it's not an issue that I think about; it's no big deal.

 

[AceVentures]

Build a habit , then another and another until its a ritual.

Thanks man - I've gone back to the drawing boards this week and have abandoned all other studies/efforts in the interim. I'm focused 100% on improving my systems and practices. I read Atomic Habits a while ago and found it very powerful - my mission now, instead of being scatter-minded across 5 different projects, is to commit the time, effort, and diligence necessary to establish strong sustainable practices to support my long-term plans.

[...]
Read. Exercise and feed your mind. It's your biggest asset so spend some time nurturing it and allowing it to grow. When I read before going to bed it is to turn OFF the worries and concerns of the day and turn ON the planning and dreaming stage that my mind feeds on. Soon this will be a part of your day that you look forward to. I work and fight to get ahead in the day - at night I set my mind free, and in the morning I spend a good amount of time contemplating what I thought about during the night, which helps me to focus better and plan my day.

Reading is so enjoyable that I buy books much faster than I can read them. I have over 50 on my list ready to go as I get to them.
[...]

Thanks mate for the detailed and thoughtful response. You nailed it, I am young and don't have much to lose on the line. I paid off all my debt, have a cushy savings in the back pocket, and crushing it at work while making a name for myself among in the inner circle. So I don't often feel rushed. I'd love to regain my freedom and autonomy, but I'm not necessarily rushed by anything.

I had a baby scare about 2 years ago - that, for 3-4 months, totally changed who I was. All of a sudden, I came to the realization that my selfish ambitions would have to stop - I no longer would live for myself, but for this family, this unit. That was really motivating - it pushed me to work harder than I ever had. Turns out it wasn't my child... But I get what it could potentially do for me to have a wife/family, I'd just hope to create that for myself for other purposes than to fulfill my need for extra motivational juice

I exercise every day, and read frequently but my reading is not scheduled. I love the idea of using reading before bedtime every night. I'll do this from now on and report back with how it impacts my sleep.

I once heard someone describe the act of writing as forcing your mind to think. So I've been journaling a lot this week. It's helped put a lot into perspective and help me stay focused every day. Still working on marrying my journaling and daily planning into one exercise, but maybe they don't need to be one in the same?

Again, many thanks to everyone for your contributions in this thread - I truly truly appreciate all the feedback. I'm so grateful to be surrounded with you inspiring and generous badasses!

 

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[Real Deal Denver]

Thanks man - I've gone back to the drawing boards this week and have abandoned all other studies/efforts in the interim. I'm focused 100% on improving my systems and practices. I read Atomic Habits a while ago and found it very powerful - my mission now, instead of being scatter-minded across 5 different projects, is to commit the time, effort, and diligence necessary to establish strong sustainable practices to support my long-term plans.



Thanks mate for the detailed and thoughtful response. You nailed it, I am young and don't have much to lose on the line. I paid off all my debt, have a cushy savings in the back pocket, and crushing it at work while making a name for myself among in the inner circle. So I don't often feel rushed. I'd love to regain my freedom and autonomy, but I'm not necessarily rushed by anything.

I had a baby scare about 2 years ago - that, for 3-4 months, totally changed who I was. All of a sudden, I came to the realization that my selfish ambitions would have to stop - I no longer would live for myself, but for this family, this unit. That was really motivating - it pushed me to work harder than I ever had. Turns out it wasn't my child... But I get what it could potentially do for me to have a wife/family, I'd just hope to create that for myself for other purposes than to fulfill my need for extra motivational juice

I exercise every day, and read frequently but my reading is not scheduled. I love the idea of using reading before bedtime every night. I'll do this from now on and report back with how it impacts my sleep.

I once heard someone describe the act of writing as forcing your mind to think. So I've been journaling a lot this week. It's helped put a lot into perspective and help me stay focused every day. Still working on marrying my journaling and daily planning into one exercise, but maybe they don't need to be one in the same?

Again, many thanks to everyone for your contributions in this thread - I truly truly appreciate all the feedback. I'm so grateful to be surrounded with you inspiring and generous badasses!

Unlike many threads here, your post and replies are a pleasure to read. It's so refreshing to encounter someone like you that is looking for advice and insight and actually weighs and considers the benefits of what others say.

Hopefully, you will not become hardened and jaded and close your mind. By your answers, I can't see that happening at all, but I mention it so you can be aware of it and take steps to avoid it.

You remind me of a young man my wife works with. He has very little experience, but he tries to learn as much as he can and he works like a horse. Despite being very "new" to his job and having nothing of importance to show on his resume, every department is fighting to have him in their departments. He has done several extraordinary things which have impressed everyone. When I heard the stories about this guy I had my wife invite him out to supper with us. I felt it was a just reward to him for just being such a great person, and I definitely wanted to support and inspire him in any way I could so that he would continue in the way he thinks and interacts. This young man will, no doubt, be very happy, very successful, and very appreciated. He is a true inspiration to me, and I will happily do whatever I can to be of help to him. We have since had several more getaways, and I am sure we will be lifelong friends. He appreciates our (my wife and me) advice and truly tries in incorporate it to his betterment.

People like that are very rare. You have the same qualities, and I am completely sure that you too will be very successful in everything that you do.

Remember to listen to everyone. You can learn on your own by making mistakes, or you can learn from others that have already done things. There is no such thing as failure. You either succeed or you learn. The more you learn, the better your ability to succeed. Once you succeed, never stop listening, learning, and growing. Help others. You cannot lift yourself up by pulling someone else down. Be nice to everyone. You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk. Show dignity and class to everyone. That's all you need to know. The world gladly awaits people like you!

 

[AceVentures]

Unlike many threads here, your post and replies are a pleasure to read. It's so refreshing to encounter someone like you that is looking for advice and insight and actually weighs and considers the benefits of what others say.

Hopefully, you will not become hardened and jaded and close your mind. By your answers, I can't see that happening at all, but I mention it so you can be aware of it and take steps to avoid it.

You remind me of a young man my wife works with. He has very little experience, but he tries to learn as much as he can and he works like a horse. Despite being very "new" to his job and having nothing of importance to show on his resume, every department is fighting to have him in their departments. He has done several extraordinary things which have impressed everyone. When I heard the stories about this guy I had my wife invite him out to supper with us. I felt it was a just reward to him for just being such a great person, and I definitely wanted to support and inspire him in any way I could so that he would continue in the way he thinks and interacts. This young man will, no doubt, be very happy, very successful, and very appreciated. He is a true inspiration to me, and I will happily do whatever I can to be of help to him. We have since had several more getaways, and I am sure we will be lifelong friends. He appreciates our (my wife and me) advice and truly tries in incorporate it to his betterment.

People like that are very rare. You have the same qualities, and I am completely sure that you too will be very successful in everything that you do.

Remember to listen to everyone. You can learn on your own by making mistakes, or you can learn from others that have already done things. There is no such thing as failure. You either succeed or you learn. The more you learn, the better your ability to succeed. Once you succeed, never stop listening, learning, and growing. Help others. You cannot lift yourself up by pulling someone else down. Be nice to everyone. You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk. Show dignity and class to everyone. That's all you need to know. The world gladly awaits people like you!

Mate don't hype me up too much, getting crushed under the pressure to live up to your expectations haha! Wow, out of words to describe how I felt reading your note. Shared it with my girl last night and we couldn't stop talking about it. I feel incredibly fortunate to have this privilege of connecting with and exchanging ideas with such giving people as yourself.

This young man you've met, it's commendable how your wife and you have decided to encourage him and provide counsel to him. More proof that despite the ugly, there are truly beautiful people eager to connect with and help one another. From how you describe him, I must admit I am honored that you view me as having/exhibiting similar traits. Many thanks for all the kind words. You really made my night - went to sleep with faith, not that I had what I wanted, but that the signs are telling me I'm on the right path.

Cheers!