Mindset to have about dating while building a business ?

[MidwestLandlord]

I would go on dates, but not "date" anyone. If that makes sense.

English to English translation:

Go get laid, but don't get serious.



(figured someone here had to be blunt about it haha)

 

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[Argue]

English to English translation:

Go get laid, but don't get serious.



(figured someone here had to be blunt about it haha)

Hit and runs?

What if she get pregnant tho?

 

[Roli]

Hit and runs?

What if she get pregnant tho?

There are these revolutionary new invention, called condoms.

 

[Waisec]

English to English translation:

Go get laid, but don't get serious.



(figured someone here had to be blunt about it haha)

Combine this with the magic of tinder and life gets a lot more fun.

 

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[Argue]

There are these revolutionary new invention, called condoms.

I'm just exaggerating lol

 

[JWelch]

English to English translation:

Go get laid, but don't get serious.



(figured someone here had to be blunt about it haha)

I don't have time for bullshit. Someone had to say it.

 

[G-Man]

@Claude Roy Go meet some nice girls and blow off a little steam. Maybe don't lead with a picture of yourself hugging a sheep.

You're overthinking this.

 

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[Leo Hendrix]

It could distract you or blur your focus and priorities, but if you find a good/great supportive partner that patch in seamlessly into your fastlane lifestyle, heck, you might get there faster.

 

[Owner2Millions]

Theres always Plan B as well....


But seriousness, let it happen natrually, when you force anything when its not meant to be things go wrong. But theres nothing wrong with being casual if both parties know whats up.......

 

[Almantas]

A woman is like a cat - chase her and she'll wrap your emotions and respect you with a middle finger. Be successful and tons of women will come pouring at your feet.

 

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[Christopher777]

Hey Guys,

I have a question for you all who are building their business and it is a question about dating. I have been single for a long time (over 3 years) and I'm now building an e-commerce business so I feel like I should not worry at all about girls and keep focusing on the business and later when it'll be profitable and rolling better, maybe try to find someone, but honestly like you know, it is lonely being an entrepreneur and sometimes I feel that if you have someone who is there to support you in your journey, it can be a plus. At the same time, I'm sure that it can cause a lot of trouble too since you might feel guilty that you don't spend that much time with your girlfriend. What are your guys insight on this? Does having someone with you encourages you or you feel like it is slowing your business. Do you have any tips to get back on track when you are feeling lonely ? I know that MJ talks a bit about it in the MFL that his long time girlfriend ended up breaking up with him and that he spent time on dating websites when his business was doing well but I don't know if he ever felt lonely or if you have guys encoutered that as well ? Thanks a lot in advance !

Much love,

Claude

Thanks a lot,

Claude

Haha you are quite lucky I saw this post. Just pm me and i'll help you out.

For me personally, it's ok to forget about this for now, since I mastered this skillset early on. It's important to know that it's a skillset. Just start talking to people and GO OUT. Meet friends, and go where the women are. And most importantly HAVE FUN.

In your case, you can do it intermittently since you're focused on business.

Take time off and consider going out blowing off steam and rewarding yourself for hardwork. It looks like you badly need it.

Here's the thing. Your situation is quite tricky. Why? Because women will flock to you the instant you GET RID of that NEEDINESS. It is subcommunicated. You can't fake it. It's true that value is an important part of the equation and you're working on that. It's true that looks play a part JUST A BIT.

But let me tell you something : It's all about your behaviors. It's in how you carry yourself, how you think and act around women.

Figuratively speaking, your Ferrari won't mean shit if you are trying to impress her by the fact that you have a Ferrari. That's neediness. This happens. There are guys like this.

It's subtle. It's counterintuitive.

But that's too advanced.

All you have to do right now is get someone to intro you or to simply go out and be social. Quite consistently. While still being able to focus on your biz. And from there, you will transform into a confident, non-needy guy. Then something will happen.

And here's a blatant reminder, you don't need a woman to fill that void. You can fill that yourself. If you can figure that out, it will be just like becoming the proverbial donut rolling down the hill in Ethiopia.

Good luck!

 

[Christopher777]

Your main focus should be your ecommerce site.

Looking for a relationship right now is a distraction.

That's what he's been doing and it's taking a toll on him. From his perspective, he feels the loneliness of "the suck".

As much as i'd love to say the same thing, this is one of those exceptions where taking a break and going for what will re energize you is the perfect course of action.

He will be even more productive when he gets that boost.

 

[Argue]

That's what he's been doing and it's taking a toll on him. From his perspective, he feels the loneliness of "the suck".

As much as i'd love to say the same thing, this is one of those exceptions where taking a break and going for what will re energize you is the perfect course of action.

He will be even more productive when he gets that boost.

Looking at it from this perspective, makes sense. We all need relaxation to get our mind right. I agree 100%!

 

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[carlolacson]

Combine this with the magic of tinder and life gets a lot more fun.

lol true.

All the girls I've been dating before came from TINDER. Like others said, go out, meet girls, and have some fun but don't give your 100%. It's okay to have a GF while building your business as long as it will not be hindrance to your growth.

My current girlfriend also has a slowlane mindset also(watching TV, shopping and stuff). Because that's how she's been raised and I know, she's not the ideal girl for someone who's grinding out on the top. But the thing is, she supports me 100% on my goals even though I look crazy in her eyes.
You just have to find the right partner who will truly believes and supports you.

 

[Claude Roy]

Wow Thanks a lot guys for all the amazing feedback. Really appreciate your support, you are all amazing I feel really grateful to be part of that community !

 

[JasonR]

Keep your relationships as a relationship and don't look for business support from it.

I think SteveO's posts here offer some good advice in a midst of mostly bad advice.

Lean on your friends for "business support" - that's why you have MALE friends and companionship.

For those saying that "chics dig fastlane" guys is code word for girls like guys with money. While, that is in true for many women, those aren't the women you want.

What it comes down to, in my opinion is priorities. When I started my business, I told everyone, including my girlfriend, my first priority was my business and everything else came second - including my job. She understood where I was coming from and respected me for being clear with her.

Yes, I do believe you can find balance between starting a business and dating, but you need to get your priorities straight. Have a date lined up with that hot chic you met, but you need to get something done for your business? That better be an easy choice for you.

 

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[Millenial_Kid5K1]

For those saying that "chics dig fastlane" guys is code word for girls like guys with money. While, that is in true for many women, those aren't the women you want.

Really? I would interpret that as "Women love a man who doesn't play by society's norms, and blazes his own path." By my interpretation I'd agree wholeheartedly, by yours not so much.

 

[Joe Cassandra]

I'm contrarion from all the 'just go get laid' stuff.

I'm 29, with a wife of 5.5 years and a 2 year old. They give me purpose during the days when I feel like giving up. Having someone to share your despair and your joys with makes life more exciting/fulfilling.

I'm building a business around my lifestyle so I can spend more time with the people I love

Why build a business now hoping to get rich and then try and find someone...Love gets stronger when you go through rough times.​

I'll take a gander and guess *most* of the people advising you to 'go let off steam' probably don't work for themselves. They've probably never been in the position of needing someone they love when shit hits the fan. (and I don't mean mommy or your college buddy).

A good partner or spouse is worth it's weight in gold MUCH more than your drinking buddies.

I'm also betting MJ doesn't want the Forum to turn into 'locker room' talk.
-----------------
Just know this...

Finding someone is healthy and awesome. But, you'll need to slide the scale down on 'hanging with friends' 'doing X hobby.'

Everything's an opportunity cost. I recommend finding someone...but if you expect to continue any 'Friday night trivias' and 'Sunday bbqs at Billy's' while juggling a new relationship...chances are you'll fail.

I don't have many friends but that's because I only need my wife and kid right now as I grow.

 

[JasonR]

Really? I would interpret that as "Women love a man who doesn't play by society's norms, and blazes his own path." By my interpretation I'd agree wholeheartedly, by yours not so much.

I've found the opposite. When you "blaze your own" path and don't conform to society, it typically alienates you from most people. It can be very difficult to deviate from the status quo - from the white picket fence, grand marriage, two kids, mortgage etc. that is the typical "American Dream."

I live a very different life than 90% of people in the world, and while to many women it's attractive, often times it doesn't attract the right type of women.

 

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[AubreyJ]

So, I am a 23 year old female and I've been with my boyfriend for just about 3 years now. We started dating right at the cusp of my first business really starting to take form, and I really didn't think he and I where going to stay together due to myself being so absorbed in my business, and my boyfriend is not entrepreneurial minded at all.

Now, 3 years later we are still together and we are the best we've been. We had our ups and downs through this journey, and the fact that I am an entrepreneur and he is fine with his 9-5 life has made things tough in the past. But, he is also someone who is ridiculously supportive and is perfectly comfortable with taking the backseat to my career sometimes (which is hard to find with guys in their early to mid 20s)

Looking at my situation, and my relationship- I don't think I would ever seek out a relationship while starting a business. Have fun, don't commit, enjoy this time and use it to really work hard. BUT, if a great person falls into your lap, certainly don't turn it down just because you are starting a business.

 

[Christopher777]

I've found the opposite. When you "blaze your own" path and don't conform to society, it typically alienates you from most people. It can be very difficult to deviate from the status quo - from the white picket fence, grand marriage, two kids, mortgage etc. that is the typical "American Dream."

I live a very different life than 90% of people in the world, and while to many women it's attractive, often times it doesn't attract the right type of women.

Agreed. Similarly from my perspective, the repercussions of "blazing your own path" and how you handle the pressure depends on "who you are". Congruency so to speak.

The anomaly I must mention here is that I was able to live a "playboy life" even without much money.

@JasonR, you're probably talking about golddiggers right. That would certainly happen because you would be unwittingly subcommunicating wealth. I have read about Project Scottsdale and I am guessing you have done the same stuff I did.

I'm curious about how your dating goes now that you're on the fastlane. Are you meeting women that can match your level of personal development or does your wealth get in the way?

I'd also love to hear more about your point regarding "alienation" since it happens to anyone who does things that aren't "normal". I mean, you won't feel alienated if you're around like-minded people. Case in point, this forum. Haha this forum would probably blow the minds of those buried deep in social conditioning and pull their hair out in confusion.

It figures that many of us are considered "aliens" under the fact that we are already a part of a tiny tiny minority.

 

[Christopher777]

So, I am a 23 year old female and I've been with my boyfriend for just about 3 years now. We started dating right at the cusp of my first business really starting to take form, and I really didn't think he and I where going to stay together due to myself being so absorbed in my business, and my boyfriend is not entrepreneurial minded at all.

Now, 3 years later we are still together and we are the best we've been. We had our ups and downs through this journey, and the fact that I am an entrepreneur and he is fine with his 9-5 life has made things tough in the past. But, he is also someone who is ridiculously supportive and is perfectly comfortable with taking the backseat to my career sometimes (which is hard to find with guys in their early to mid 20s)

It looks like you're more of a leader than he is. Why haven't he switched yet? By now you must have influenced him in some way.

The most probable reason of your compatibility is that you have ample time to be away from each other. Right?

 

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[AubreyJ]

It looks like you're more of a leader than he is. Why haven't he switched yet? By now you must have influenced him in some way.

The most probable reason of your compatibility is that you have ample time to be away from each other. Right?

I think that some people are just wired differently than others. Some people just have zero desire to own their own business- which is fine. He has a pretty good job, makes good money, and he has drive to advance in his company. But he sees what I deal with, how much I work..etc. and he is not interested in the slightest.

I don't think the amount of time we are together is a factor. I think it's more so that we know our expectations for one another.

 

[JasonR]

I'm curious about how your dating goes now that you're on the fastlane. Are you meeting women that can match your level of personal development or does your wealth get in the way?

It's funny, I was just having this discussion with a friend of mine. It's very difficult to find women who can match our level of drive, self-development - and being able to do what I do - namely - building businesses and traveling the world. It's even harder when I'm in countries where the salary gap is extremely lopsided. For example, in many countries the average, living wage can be $300-600 a month, so an average middle income male making $60k a year is "rich" to them, let a lone a business owner making six figures plus a year.

The short answer is this: I need to SEEK out women who I can consider an equal. Entrepreneur groups, meet ups, etc. This drastically limits the pool of people I can date. As you can probably tell, I'm not the stereotypical "normal" person, which also drastically limits the pool of people I'm willing to enter a relationship with. The good news is that people in entrepreneur groups and circles are likely the people I will get a long with.

I have dated many women in "poor" countries, some wonderful women, some crazy, some golddiggers, and it becomes incredibly difficult to build a solid life with that person. I'm attractive to many of these women given that I'm white, single, have money (though I try not to broadcast that), which can and does attract women who aren't the greatest. I've had a lot of fun, but ultimately I try to screen these sorts of women out from long term relationships.

Yes, it has become more difficult to date. However, I'm not willing to settle - which I feel like many "normal" people do. I'm happily single, and would rather stay that way then to compromise my happiness and a lifestyle just to be with a woman.

 

[Christopher777]

Yes, it has become more difficult to date. However, I'm not willing to settle - which I feel like many "normal" people do. I'm happily single, and would rather stay that way then to compromise my happiness and a lifestyle just to be with a woman.

Exactly. The more you have met, the more you know what you want according to your standards. I also think that there are subtle kinds of status that affect your attractiveness. In focus are the lifestyle oriented and the behavioral one.

OP should take into account screening seriously and forget the "whoever I can find" mentality. Maybe look for an entrepreneur herself. It's ironic because the more you don't want them, the more they want to have you.

 

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[policebaton]

It's pretty subjective, some people do well with that rock... others do better without it.

Personally I really prefer just going out on weekends and having open fun times whether that's once for that night or carries on with no strings attached. Mainly because I know my trajectory is skyrocketing, it'd have to be an amazing girl who I'm very attracted to on many levels and is growing herself exponentially to date her. Otherwise you'll outgrow her and it'll become really painful for both of you.

 

[TonyStark]

If we can't learn from each other, then it's a waste of time.

 

[Iammelissamoore]

The short answer is this: I need to SEEK out women who I can consider an equal. Entrepreneur groups, meet ups, etc. This drastically limits the pool of people I can date. As you can probably tell, I'm not the stereotypical "normal" person, which also drastically limits the pool of people I'm willing to enter a relationship with. The good news is that people in entrepreneur groups and circles are likely the people I will get a long with.

You just hit the nail on the h.e.a.d!!!!!

There is a saying which goes that 'what we desire we must reflect' - well, it's just a saying, I understand the basis of it, but indeed, it's a case where sometimes we have to really separate the goat from the sheep, because even within certain circles, there are people there for ulterior motives too.

Yes, it has become more difficult to date. However, I'm not willing to settle - which I feel like many "normal" people do. I'm happily single, and would rather stay that way then to compromise my happiness and a lifestyle just to be with a woman.

Hmmm - that word - settle - I know exactly what you mean - that word is not a part of my vocabulary at all, sure, I know I'm not "the shit" lol, but, I just really think that if we live in a world of so much abundance, then why must we settle for limiting ideals. I definitely hear you on this one.

 

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[MaximilianB]

Hey Guys,

I have a question for you all who are building their business and it is a question about dating. I have been single for a long time (over 3 years) and I'm now building an e-commerce business so I feel like I should not worry at all about girls and keep focusing on the business and later when it'll be profitable and rolling better, maybe try to find someone, but honestly like you know, it is lonely being an entrepreneur and sometimes I feel that if you have someone who is there to support you in your journey, it can be a plus. At the same time, I'm sure that it can cause a lot of trouble too since you might feel guilty that you don't spend that much time with your girlfriend. What are your guys insight on this? Does having someone with you encourages you or you feel like it is slowing your business. Do you have any tips to get back on track when you are feeling lonely ? I know that MJ talks a bit about it in the MFL that his long time girlfriend ended up breaking up with him and that he spent time on dating websites when his business was doing well but I don't know if he ever felt lonely or if you have guys encoutered that as well ? Thanks a lot in advance !

Much love,

Claude

Thanks a lot,

Claude

Hi Claude,

Great question! I believe this is a very important topic for us ambitious business owners that is often overlooked. I used to struggle with this myself when working on my first business. I strongly believe that having amazing people around you during your business journey will greatly improve your business, a supporting, inspiring and understand partner included. Life is too short for being unhappy and miserable with some parts of life when you can have it all. It is all about meeting the right person, which for me was the most challenging part. By working on yourself and your social skills you can implement meeting amazing people while at the same time not sacrificing your business. I would start of by writing down what kind of person you truly want to have around in your life. Thin about where that kind of person hangs out. Also realize that by working on yourself and your social/dating skills you will start to attract equally amazing people.

Best regards,
Maximilian

 

[Alicia10]

As a man who was single for most of my 20s (17 to 26, to be exact), I can relate to that feeling of isolation. My advice would be to be VERY cautious getting into a relationship at the start of your fastlane journey. Since you are in a period of change, it's not very conducive to finding a long-term partner. I found this out the hard way, as my current girlfriend is slowlane to the core, and we face significant tension because of how we spend time. We were the perfect fit when we started dating, as I was an engineering student hoping for a long and illustrious career as an engineer, and she was a medical doctor in the research field.

Now, she prefers to spend her weekends cleaning her house, watching TV, doing trivia with friends, and reading fiction. Meanwhile, I prefer to spend my weekends working on my business. She always wants to watch TV when we're together, where I'd rather take a hike to balance my energy levels for the next bout of business building. It's a relationship that I believe can work and survive in the short-term, but it's hard to see it being long term. I'm looking for an eventual wife who I can have a couple of children with, and can stand by me no matter how far off the beaten path I go. She's just looking for a bit of fun and a feeling of belonging in the present(we've talked about this stuff.)

All that to say: If I'd known I would be embarking on this life-path which would involve significant changes to myself, I would probably at least wait until I'd made sale #1 before putting myself back into the dating pool. Even then, I'd limit it so as not to take up too much valuable business building time.

Hi!

I just joined the forum and I was looking at this thread, as I'm in a relationship with someone who is die hard slowlane and I wanted to see if anyone else was in a similar situation. After reading your post I can relate to this 10000%. Also, I see that this is from 2017 and I wanted to see if you could give an update on your situation. Have you guys stayed together? Has she changed her mindset? What's your current situation? I'm very curios as my relationship is something I'm really struggling with. We started dating almost 7 years ago, and for the first 5 years we were both well matched and slowlaners. I've since been exploring entrepreneurship and he doesn't disapprove but he doesn't want any part of it, so it's hard to see that we will work long-term. Very interested to see how your journey is going!

Alicia