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Mindset to have about dating while building a business ?

Claude Roy

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Hey Guys,

I have a question for you all who are building their business and it is a question about dating. I have been single for a long time (over 3 years) and I'm now building an e-commerce business so I feel like I should not worry at all about girls and keep focusing on the business and later when it'll be profitable and rolling better, maybe try to find someone, but honestly like you know, it is lonely being an entrepreneur and sometimes I feel that if you have someone who is there to support you in your journey, it can be a plus. At the same time, I'm sure that it can cause a lot of trouble too since you might feel guilty that you don't spend that much time with your girlfriend. What are your guys insight on this? Does having someone with you encourages you or you feel like it is slowing your business. Do you have any tips to get back on track when you are feeling lonely ? I know that MJ talks a bit about it in the MFL that his long time girlfriend ended up breaking up with him and that he spent time on dating websites when his business was doing well but I don't know if he ever felt lonely or if you have guys encoutered that as well ? Thanks a lot in advance !

Much love,

Claude

Thanks a lot,

Claude
 
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Claude Roy

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I think you have all you need in your profile picture. :jawdrop:
So true. Unfortunately, Colvin is in California and I'm in Florida right now. It is definitely a goal of mine to go back there and meet these animals again. They are definitely one of the main reason to why I want to make a lot of money, I want to give back to these awesome organizations that do awesome work for animals. I guess I have to focus on the great time that I had with them and be grateful for that instead of being sad that I'm a bit lonely now :).
 
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V8Bill

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If it happens to you - fine but why would you go looking for trouble? Rent one if you have to but be very careful who you invite into your private life. They can be awesome of course if you find the right one but what are the odds and what are the risks if you net a bad one that just looks good? I like when girls hang around because of the money; at least everyone knows where they stand. Money (or generosity) runs out - they run out. It's a good system that's worked well for millennia.
 

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lmao ^^^

i haven't got laid in over a year myself, still alive.
I hear chicks dig fastlaners.

Well thanks for making me choke on my Dr. Pepper :)

For my personal real answer... For years I always dated everyone I could. If the 1st date was good and I thought we had things in common and could get along then I would ask her out again. I do have a 3 strikes and your out rule. No sex by the time we end the 3rd date then more than likely it is over because we are not going to work out anyway. I also kept this in mind... I would never get serious with anyone that I didn't think was going to be a really long term thing because I always asked myself this.... what if I'm messing around with her and the 'right' one comes along and I miss the chance to be with her? So, while I pushed really hard to find someone, I'd never be tied down unless it's an easy 'thing' and we both have the same outlook on life, many things in common, get along damn near perfect and don't have to worry about trust one bit. Luckily after almost 100, I found the right one! Yay me!! Remember.... we are only here for a short while, make yourself happy. But do 1 thing.... NEVER change who you are just to be with someone else. It's up to them if they choose to change who they are to be with you.
 

Millenial_Kid5K1

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As a man who was single for most of my 20s (17 to 26, to be exact), I can relate to that feeling of isolation. My advice would be to be VERY cautious getting into a relationship at the start of your fastlane journey. Since you are in a period of change, it's not very conducive to finding a long-term partner. I found this out the hard way, as my current girlfriend is slowlane to the core, and we face significant tension because of how we spend time. We were the perfect fit when we started dating, as I was an engineering student hoping for a long and illustrious career as an engineer, and she was a medical doctor in the research field.

Now, she prefers to spend her weekends cleaning her house, watching TV, doing trivia with friends, and reading fiction. Meanwhile, I prefer to spend my weekends working on my business. She always wants to watch TV when we're together, where I'd rather take a hike to balance my energy levels for the next bout of business building. It's a relationship that I believe can work and survive in the short-term, but it's hard to see it being long term. I'm looking for an eventual wife who I can have a couple of children with, and can stand by me no matter how far off the beaten path I go. She's just looking for a bit of fun and a feeling of belonging in the present(we've talked about this stuff.)

All that to say: If I'd known I would be embarking on this life-path which would involve significant changes to myself, I would probably at least wait until I'd made sale #1 before putting myself back into the dating pool. Even then, I'd limit it so as not to take up too much valuable business building time.
 
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Roli

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Hey Guys,

I have a question for you all who are building their business and it is a question about dating. I have been single for a long time (over 3 years) and I'm now building an e-commerce business so I feel like I should not worry at all about girls and keep focusing on the business and later when it'll be profitable and rolling better, maybe try to find someone, but honestly like you know, it is lonely being an entrepreneur and sometimes I feel that if you have someone who is there to support you in your journey, it can be a plus. At the same time, I'm sure that it can cause a lot of trouble too since you might feel guilty that you don't spend that much time with your girlfriend. What are your guys insight on this? Does having someone with you encourages you or you feel like it is slowing your business. Do you have any tips to get back on track when you are feeling lonely ? I know that MJ talks a bit about it in the MFL that his long time girlfriend ended up breaking up with him and that he spent time on dating websites when his business was doing well but I don't know if he ever felt lonely or if you have guys encoutered that as well ? Thanks a lot in advance !

Much love,

Claude

Thanks a lot,

Claude

Make sure she is a growth minded individual who understands about self-improvement, work ethic etc. and what ever you do, don't get her pregnant...
 
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SteveO

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Relationships take work. Building a business takes work. It is possible to balance them both but emotions must remain in check.
 

SteveO

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I feel that if you have someone who is there to support you in your journey, it can be a plus.
It is like going into a partnership with someone. Every now and then a partnership works smoothly. I have been in many partnerships that I could not wait to get out of. Don't go into partnerships unless you need to. Keep your relationships as a relationship and don't look for business support from it.
 

Claude Roy

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As a man who was single for most of my 20s (17 to 26, to be exact), I can relate to that feeling of isolation. My advice would be to be VERY cautious getting into a relationship at the start of your fastlane journey. Since you are in a period of change, it's not very conducive to finding a long-term partner. I found this out the hard way, as my current girlfriend is slowlane to the core, and we face significant tension because of how we spend time. We were the perfect fit when we started dating, as I was an engineering student hoping for a long and illustrious career as an engineer, and she was a medical doctor in the research field.

Now, she prefers to spend her weekends cleaning her house, watching TV, doing trivia with friends, and reading fiction. Meanwhile, I prefer to spend my weekends working on my business. She always wants to watch TV when we're together, where I'd rather take a hike to balance my energy levels for the next bout of business building. It's a relationship that I believe can work and survive in the short-term, but it's hard to see it being long term. I'm looking for an eventual wife who I can have a couple of children with, and can stand by me no matter how far off the beaten path I go. She's just looking for a bit of fun and a feeling of belonging in the present(we've talked about this stuff.)

All that to say: If I'd known I would be embarking on this life-path which would involve significant changes to myself, I would probably at least wait until I'd made sale #1 before putting myself back into the dating pool. Even then, I'd limit it so as not to take up too much valuable business building time.

Thanks for your answer, it is exactly how I felt with my ex-girlfriend. Even though I miss her sometimes, I definitely do not miss that part of having to watch TV when I could not care less about it. Mine was a slowlaner as well and in that sense, I always wished that I'd find someone who wants to be on the fastlane as I did. Thanks for your honest and well tought response, it is really appreciated :)
 
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Argue

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Your main focus should be your ecommerce site.

Looking for a relationship right now is a distraction. When I say distraction, I mean going on dates, planning vacations, going to her parents house, going shopping, talking on the phone, pretty much investing every second of your time to your female partner.

Just like anything else, it's commitment. Instead of committing into dates, commit to building a successful business. What kind of ROI do you want?

A. Freedom and passive income.

B. A girlfriend and the same old slowlane lifestyle.

There's also balance but let's say you emotionally invest into a female you like, she becomes your first priority because of LOVE.

Besides, your sheep friend Colvin is sexy AF! :hilarious:

2hd4p4w.png
 
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windchaser

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Hey Claude,
I see this dilemma from a different perspective.
First of all, I wouldn't date just to have a partner in my journey or not date at all because it is a distraction.
If wouldn't date just to not feel lonely, at the end you can find support in many other ways and if you just wanna have fun, it is not difficult to find someone just for that and you don't need to commit to that person or that person to become a distraction.
But if you find a girl that you like and that inspires you and you think could be a suitable partner, I will not discard her just because you are too busy with your business. Ifor opportunity knocks into your door. Why not seize it? It would be Amsterdam stupid as letting go a promising business opportunity.
In my case I am married and my husband is an incredible resource of support, it is true we have similar aspirations in life and he does not cut my wings, opposite to that he is a tail wind for me.
Maybe I am a strange chick, but I have never followed the dating script (dinner, flowers, trivia, etc) and it does not have to be that way. I tell you, there are many women who also hate that script.
If you are going to date just for the sake of dating or dating a girl who is going to cut your wings I would say don't date, but if you somehow find a woman who inspires you and supports you, it could be a massive tail wind. Don't let go of that opportunity just because it is a distraction.
 

Mattie

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I have a question for you all who are building their business and it is a question about dating. I have been single for a long time (over 3 years) and I'm now building an e-commerce business so I feel like I should not worry at all about girls and keep focusing on the business and later when it'll be profitable and rolling better, maybe try to find someone, but honestly like you know, it is lonely being an entrepreneur and sometimes I feel that if you have someone who is there to support you in your journey, it can be a plus. At the same time, I'm sure that it can cause a lot of trouble too since you might feel guilty that you don't spend that much time with your girlfriend.

What are your guys insight on this? Does having someone with you encourages you or you feel like it is slowing your business. Do you have any tips to get back on track when you are feeling lonely ? I know that MJ talks a bit about it in the MFL that his long time girlfriend ended up breaking up with him and that he spent time on dating websites when his business was doing well but I don't know if he ever felt lonely or if you have guys encoutered that as well ? Thanks a lot in advance !

My beliefs about relationships have changed, because we're headed into unknown territory for Generation X. I'm not sure what generation you are, but the world is all about survival of the fittest in present time. I would stay single and focus on your business.

Social rules are changing and all the stuff I've been taught in school in psychology seems to be old news these days are kind of null and void when it comes to social problems.

I think the best thing any of us can do is do embrace Mental Toughness, Meditation, Emotional Intelligence, and stay on top of technology, long-life long learners, adapt, adjust, and bounce on the earth the best we can as Entrepreneurs and manuever through the obstacles which come along, problem shoot, problem solve along the way.

This is quite interesting for all of us. I have a relationship myself, but whether it lasts or not is the challenge. The problem with dating or marriage, is we're all at different levels of consciousness. Some are resistant to change. Some want to hold on to the old rules and the way life used to be. It's not longer the way Generation X grew up and the rules aren't the same in 2017.

In 2017 it's all about survival. The Have's versus the Have not. And someone wrote a review on M.J.'s book he talked about the Matrix too much and didn't like this fact. I had some one write a review on one of mine that they were confused. People are having a difficult time because they're forced to take personal responsibility for their lives emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, sexually, and financially and step out of the lower-consciousness and create the life they desire instead of depending on others to create their life for them. They're not liking the idea they're being forced to grow up, mature, and navigate their own way instead of having someone else drive their life for them. They don't like you repeatedly reminding them the world isn't what they believe. There core values are being questioned and tested.

It's a lot of digging deep in their psychology, beliefs, what they're conditioned to believe in the past generations and stepping out of the box. You have a divide in consciousness and relationships collapsing whether it's romantic or family.

You're safer to focus on your business, creating your wealth, and worrying about yourself. Relationships are nice to have and enjoy while you have them, but I've learned from the last seven years breaking out of the Matrix and being in the Forum here, people don't like you changing, succeeding, knowing more than them intellectually. What happens is you end up polarizing them because they're no longer at the same level consciously and they get confused. They don't understand what you're talking about or why you're taking the steps you are. They fight it, resist it, and sabotage themselves and try to sabotage your success.
 
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thehighlander

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Choose a partner who shares your values.

Relationships being work is BS. Maybe that's why the divorce rate is so high. The right partner will click without effort and you can be yourself around them.

A good partner can be a huge support in every way. A bad one leads to doom.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk
 

Millenial_Kid5K1

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You're safer to focus on your business, creating your wealth, and worrying about yourself. Relationships are nice to have and enjoy while you have them, but I've learned from the last seven years breaking out of the Matrix and being in the Forum here, people don't like you changing, succeeding, knowing more than them intellectually. What happens is you end up polarizing them because they're no longer at the same level consciously and they get confused. They don't understand what you're talking about or why you're taking the steps you are. They fight it, resist it, and sabotage themselves and try to sabotage your success.
Polarization is good. What is extremely alienating to one person will be extremely attractive to another. If you're polarizing it simply becomes a numbers game to find someone who adores you.

Better to be hated than to inspire indifference.
 

Claude Roy

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Your main focus should be your ecommerce site.

Looking for a relationship right now is a distraction. When I say distraction, I mean going on dates, planning vacations, going to her parents house, going shopping, talking on the phone, pretty much investing every second of your time to your female partner.

Just like anything else, it's commitment. Instead of committing into dates, commit to building a successful business. What kind of ROI do you want?

A. Freedom and passive income.

B. A girlfriend and the same old slowlane lifestyle.

There's also balance but let's say you emotionally invest into a female you like, she becomes your first priority because of LOVE.

Besides, your sheep friend Colvin is sexy AF! :hilarious:

2hd4p4w.png
True, what I want most is passive income and freedom definitely. Thanks for your answer and helping me to get back on the right track :)

P.S : Colvin is really sexy and truly the best indeed :)
 
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Social momentum will help inspire you. The last 1.5 years I quit going out, got a gf on accident at that time, and now for the first time ever I'm losing motivation.
I'm going to start going out on Friday nights with friends and meet new people. Trust me, going out and meeting hot girls will inspire you to work hard. Staying isolated will drive you nuts
 

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Hmm ... I see nothing bad in seeking/having a relationship as long as it won't distract you from your business.

I know exactly that I am not able to do this and because of that I didn't look for a relationship in the last few years.
I did go on dates though ... guys that had been recommended by my friends because we would be a good match - or so they thought...

One of them was a financial advisor who told me that he can help me to make good investments if I would have some money to spare ...
Oh did I mention that he was living with his parents by the age of 35, had no job and spend his time playing WOW ...

I do understand you ... but as others have said already focus on your business first.
Meanwhile I send you a big hug over the atlantic :) ( why don't we have hug-smiley? ) @Claude Roy

Stay strong and keep fighting and who knows... maybe you will find your better half by accident
 

Mattie

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Polarization is good. What is extremely alienating to one person will be extremely attractive to another. If you're polarizing it simply becomes a numbers game to find someone who adores you.

Better to be hated than to inspire indifference.

I have someone who adores me. I've had lots of men adore me in life. It doesn't mean they're healthy individuals to spend a life with. You can be attractive to numerous men and women. Doesn't make attraction the reason why you should be with someone.
Animals are attracted to one another, it doesn't mean they stick together all their life unless they're a unique species.
Take perfume or cologne for instance, are your attracted because of pheromones or the artificial scent.

Attraction is always nice debate.

In actuality polarization is mirroring your own negative traits within yourself in the other individual. Fortunately, I'm in a different type of relationship then most. Two cultures, two different perspectives, conditioned by society in two different ways, and breaking out of the distortions of both. Breaking down cultural, racial, religious/spiritual, political, philosophical boundaries. A little bit more challenging than the average conventional marriage.

I think that's the point most people don't understand. The average relationship and marriage has trouble accepting the same culture. Conventional. And then everyone else who is unconventional and different ways. It pushes your psyche to adapt to another cultural entirely, learn a new language, see what they're conditioned to believe versus what you've been conditioned to believe, weed out the distortions and illusions of both, and learn to share equal power financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and sexually.

To say relationships don't require work is quite a deception. I've never met a couple who was married fifty years that didn't grow together and have to accept differences, and learn to communicate effectively. There's always inner work to be done. The relationship wouldn't work if one of them wasn't doing inner work along the way.
 
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Claude Roy

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Hmm ... I see nothing bad in seeking/having a relationship as long as it won't distract you from your business.

I know exactly that I am not able to do this and because of that I didn't look for a relationship in the last few years.
I did go on dates though ... guys that had been recommended by my friends because we would be a good match - or so they thought...

One of them was a financial advisor who told me that he can help me to make good investments if I would have some money to spare ...
Oh did I mention that he was living with his parents by the age of 35, had no job and spend his time playing WOW ...

I do understand you ... but as others have said already focus on your business first.
Meanwhile I send you a big hug over the atlantic :) ( why don't we have hug-smiley? ) @Claude Roy

Stay strong and keep fighting and who knows... maybe you will find your better half by accident

@Lafandriel Big :) hug over the sea :) Thanks a lot for the kind words and encouragement :)
 

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Maybe that's why the divorce rate is so high.
The divorce rate is so high because:
Addiction, Abandonment, Abuse, Escapism, which means they'd have to do some deep house cleaning of their psyche and do some inner work. I'm not sure what planet you're from, but abandonment, rejection, divorce, separation, isolation is the result of emotional, mental, spiritual, sexual, financial death. Not showing up in your relationship because you're in emotional and mental pain from childhood, sexual abuse, past traumatic experiences with romantic partners. Being emotionally and mentally unavailable because you're not showing up for yourself in life, and believe you're worthy of love, wealth, money, or power.
 

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Keeping (safely) sexually active is healthy, best to find a good relationship or simply a solid-friends with benefits type deal is a great way to keep your machine running well.

Between business + relationships the key is the ability to balance both. If a partner is what you want there should be no reason to suppress your natural instinct to go get it just like you do with business.
 
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V8Bill hit the nail on the head. Keep it simple so you can comprehend it better, why complicate something that's already simple? Don't fall for deception just because you feel isolated, lonely or in need of a more active sexual life, in some cases it can completely halt your fastlane plan altogether.

If it happens to you - fine but why would you go looking for trouble? Rent one if you have to but be very careful who you invite into your private life. They can be awesome of course if you find the right one but what are the odds and what are the risks if you net a bad one that just looks good? I like when girls hang around because of the money; at least everyone knows where they stand. Money (or generosity) runs out - they run out. It's a good system that's worked well for millennia.
 

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Easy come, easy go.

After the tides and storms, the only things that will be left is you, and what you built. This is my mindset. I focus solely on my well-being, my personal growth, and my ventures. My equilibrium should not rely on external factors I can't control. And what's funny is that with this mindset, my relationships improved greatly.
 

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My equilibrium should not rely on external factors I can't control. And what's funny is that with this mindset, my relationships improved greatly.
I agree, I found out the same answer.
 
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I would go on dates, but not "date" anyone. If that makes sense. Let a girl know up front you've got important shit going on and you don't want to be distracted. When you have the time, you have the time but getting emotionally involved has the potential to really throw a monkey wrench in your whole business. If you're in the building phase in my opinion your focus needs to be on that and chicks on the back burner except when you have a few hours to spare.
 

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I would go on dates, but not "date" anyone. If that makes sense. Let a girl know up front you've got important shit going on and you don't want to be distracted. When you have the time, you have the time but getting emotionally involved has the potential to really throw a monkey wrench in your whole business. If you're in the building phase in my opinion your focus needs to be on that and chicks on the back burner except when you have a few hours to spare.
Exactly. Well said. You can date but don't commit long term. Just have fun. You're young too.

Work hard, play hard.
 

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