Learning from the hardships and moving on

[missinfinity98]

Ok, Fastlaners

I am dealing with strong lower-back pain since this morning and I know it is because of what I encountered lately. Please share your stories, I need support right now. It is very hard.

I left my abusive family half a year ago. I am a 23, woman. I had to clear up most of my toxic friends' circle. I am after years of therapy, I am a psychotherapist myself now. At the same time, I started working on a big project of mine. Networking, reaching out to a ton of strangers. Meeting a lot of assholes of course. Starting from 0 is exciting, but I have hit a very low point. Last week a psychotherapist tried to stretch me and I feel it started a spiral for me.

Anyone who endured emotional abuse for many years, after leaving is like a superhero when it comes to emotional intelligence and endurance. But anyone who did it also knows the costs of it. Lately, I wake up in the night crying.

And then I go out on the streets and I face all the people wearing black and gray and just vicious and defeated (I am in Poland now, I plan to move out).

I fight very hard, I focus on gratitude, meditate, keep myself straight and well-mannered to others... But this back pain today got the best out of me. It really hurts. And I know it is a clear sign from my body - our bodies are built to survive - and it is a natural body mechanism. I know it. It is all the emotions I need to process. I have books about it to read. I know what to do, but I would just curl up in bed and cry. I feel so powerless. And I know I shouldn't expose myself like this online to strangers, but honestly - I don't care at this point. Please tell me something I need to hear... And don't hit me up with the - what did you expect, that it is going to be easy? Shut up, Dave. I did not! But it doesn't mean I shouldn't reach out for help. Strength is in knowing when to ask for help. And for me, this is the moment. So, if you have nothing positive to say, go troll somewhere else.

 

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[CarrieMatchmaker]

Stay strong girl!! I have been in abusive relationships too. I felt so weak and saw no way out, but there was a way out. It ended up with him going to jail. It made me stronger! Of course your body feels everything! If you are sad or depressed it weakens. You should be motivated. Think POSITIVE!! I am also in Poland right now. I ran away from my life and started everything from 0! I am sure if we have a strong desire and see the goal we will never fall!! I look forward to success!!! We can become financially independent and happy! We can build a life of our dreams! Is this what you want??? Change your mindset and your body will become stronger too! I know its difficult sometimes but usually books help. Something like MJ de Marco or Dale Carnegie! Strong books that help you feel motivated! Im with you!! If you need to talk to someone!

 

[missinfinity98]

Stay strong girl!! I have been in abusive relationships too. I felt so weak and saw no way out, but there was a way out. It ended up with him going to jail. It made me stronger! Of course your body feels everything! If you are sad or depressed it weakens. You should be motivated. Think POSITIVE!! I am also in Poland right now. I ran away from my life and started everything from 0! I am sure if we have a strong desire and see the goal we will never fall!! I look forward to success!!! We can become financially independent and happy! We can build a life of our dreams! Is this what you want??? Change your mindset and your body will become stronger too! I know its difficult sometimes but usually books help. Something like MJ de Marco or Dale Carnegie! Strong books that help you feel motivated! Im with you!! If you need to talk to someone!

Thank you, darling <3 I'll DM you

I know that finding the right solutions is what creates new coping skills and only makes us stronger.

You know, I just don't want to bottle up the emotions and I let myself feel through all the pain. I know it is the right thing to do and no one will change my mind here. Thank you again for reaching out. It is easy to ridicule someone just because they express something bravely. I know that when others ridicule is because they see something they don't want to see in themself usually. It is a weakness. So thank you for being strong! We are strong for each other, Queen <3

 

[Sega Saph]

Ok, Fastlaners

I am dealing with strong lower-back pain since this morning and I know it is because of what I encountered lately. Please share your stories, I need support right now. It is very hard.

I left my abusive family half a year ago. I am a 23, woman. I had to clear up most of my toxic friends' circle. I am after years of therapy, I am a psychotherapist myself now. At the same time, I started working on a big project of mine. Networking, reaching out to a ton of strangers. Meeting a lot of assholes of course. Starting from 0 is exciting, but I have hit a very low point. Last week a psychotherapist tried to stretch me and I feel it started a spiral for me.

Anyone who endured emotional abuse for many years, after leaving is like a superhero when it comes to emotional intelligence and endurance. But anyone who did it also knows the costs of it. Lately, I wake up in the night crying.

And then I go out on the streets and I face all the people wearing black and gray and just vicious and defeated (I am in Poland now, I plan to move out).

I fight very hard, I focus on gratitude, meditate, keep myself straight and well-mannered to others... But this back pain today got the best out of me. It really hurts. And I know it is a clear sign from my body - our bodies are built to survive - and it is a natural body mechanism. I know it. It is all the emotions I need to process. I have books about it to read. I know what to do, but I would just curl up in bed and cry. I feel so powerless. And I know I shouldn't expose myself like this online to strangers, but honestly - I don't care at this point. Please tell me something I need to hear... And don't hit me up with the - what did you expect, that it is going to be easy? Shut up, Dave. I did not! But it doesn't mean I shouldn't reach out for help. Strength is in knowing when to ask for help. And for me, this is the moment. So, if you have nothing positive to say, go troll somewhere else.

Hello. If you have a problem with your back i can recommend you to find (if you know Russian) an information in internet: Bubnovskiy. This doctor have a unique theraphy for ppl with backpain. I think you can find alternatives in your country. I have the same problem as you, and it helps me a lot.
And deppresion is so dangerous thing. Don't stretch you time and go to the psychiatrist. He helps you with pills and other stuff which is so important in your case!
With a great wishes! Stay strong! Cheers!

 

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[missinfinity98]

I have spent this time focusing on controlling the mindset. It is a shame and guilt stored in the body. After a couple of hours of intense mindset shifts, I shifted, and the pain went away. I found myself in a wholly shifted reality.

I am also a perfectionist. This is also not helping.
I hate watching people praising perfectionism. Polishing a project is something different. Perfectionism is going into a spiral of shame and doom after waking up one day with back pain. This is something to get out of, not to glorify.

This is what is left after being raised in a household of a narcissist. I need to deal with it and process it; there is no way around it.

I learned that love is not taking away others' discomfort. Real love is letting others experience it to grow as human beings. And this is my discomfort. I am glad I faced this moment. I was way too much in my head; I ignored my body.

But this silly psychotherapist thinking I am gullible was too much for me. A psychotherapist is a very responsible role. I sent her a message and put her in her place. This is why we need to stay strong - because acting irresponsibly makes others lose faith in humanity. And without that, what do we have left?


I decided to leave this post here and not delete it because I felt incredibly isolated in my experience. And communities are to decrease it. I hope this will help someone in the future.


a cat because this is the internet