Late Bloomer's touchy-feely exploration of feelings and actions

[Late Bloomer]

Your attention should be on upwork, Fiverr or finding a gig.

Not on being defensive and trying to delete thread.

With all due respect, that's not for you to authoritatively dictate to me.

I'm on here around one, to sometimes two at most, hours most days, in a single burst of activity. This is a way I choose to use this block of time. My doing this does not prevent me from having other activities within the day.

For example, today I'll soon log out and head to a local business function sponsored by a local bank, at which I might have an opportunity for some business networking conversation. I don't know the full format of their event, so I'll go and find out.

If someone's entire opportunity to get a gig is destroyed by spending one hour a day on a business conversation site, then they have some problems I don't have.

This is the one and only online discussion forum I've ever encountered or even heard of, that has no provision for users to delete their own thread-starting posts. That fact is not in the Terms that need to be accepted before users register, nor it is mentioned in the "How to get the most of this" note shown to users upon their registering. It's legitimately a great surprise to me. I don't deny MJ's right to make this choice on his own forum, but it caught me completely by surprise.

There are some comments that respectfully, in an adult to adult manner, offer a kind and friendly word of advice about what might be helpful to me. I appreciate those.

There are also some comments that are of a much lower standard those those helpful ones.

Some of those are deliberate traps set up for no purpose other than gloating, such as Argue's not clearly stating that there is no thread delete function available to users.

Some of those are simply malicious with no business value, such as the proclamation that it's never appropriate to simply say "I'm sorry for your loss" to someone who's widowed. What the hell makes someone think that kind of perverse absence of basic human empathy and social competence, has anything to do with business success?

Some of those worse comments spew bullshit of what the authors hallucinated about me in their imagination, as they invented fictitious scenarios about my life and work experiences, my thoughts, feelings, intentions, decisions, actions, and habits. They are based on either nothing at all or on an imaginary supposition that one small remark from a stranger is enough for the commenter to take on a role of psychological counselor.

On a public forum where I don't get to delete a thread, I believe it's reasonable that I do have a right to dispute defamation, bullshit, and destructive wastes of my time, destructive comments which are made with reckless indifference to the truth, which spew hostility and condemnation that is not valid or warranted. Those attacks already swerved far from any realistically business-focused Fastlane. My pointing out the true nature of those attacks and falsehoods is a way for me to return to a constructive, forward-focused lane.

 

[pwilliams84]

twilight zone: entered.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

Busy writing day for me. Only on the forum ten minutes to check for current notes outside of this thread. I will abandon this thread by the end of the week. I will make new threads for the portions of this thread that seem likely to have ongoing business value. I request that those who made comments with some business value to people other than me, be prepared to continue those conversations elsewhere in the forum.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

Redacted after reading previous - OP changed name

Laughing through tears was exactly what I meant with the change of thread name, no need to apologize for recognizing that.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Thank you for your kind words Dubidu.

I HAVE had counseling. I've had substantial therapy and counsel from people with professional training, certification, and years of experience advising people who deal with the things I'm dealing with. The professional counselors came from several backgrounds including medical, social work, psychology, and the ministry.

Their UNANIMOUS professional opinion is that I'm admirably demonstrating courage, fortitude, psychological depth, emotional maturity, and grace, moving forward with life after going through hell.

One of them had nearly weekly sessions with my late partner and then with me over the course of the year, before I learned that this counseling in a hospice and terminal illness context was only his sideline. His day job is providing psychological evaluations for use in court.

He told me I have NO psychological issues to diagnose, only a lot of grief to process.

Their UNANIMOUS professional opinion is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of those condemning me here.

In addition, a portion (not all, but at least some) of the confusion and inaction are documented as long-term side effects, lasting years to a lifetime, of the type of chemo I had.

Given what qualified professionals have told me about myself:

Why they hell should I believe those who hallucinate that they're better equipped to diagnose and treat emotional issues, of a stranger they know only from a few posts on the Internet?

If MJ allowed deletion of threads, I would delete this one on the basis of exactly what you said. Unfortunately, posts apparently can't be deleted. But I can give advance notice that I'll discontinue participating in this thread soon, so that those who already have the emotional maturity and social skill for polite conversation, can carry on with me in other threads here.

 

[Late Bloomer]

As a personal rule, If I don't get kicked in the face at least every two weeks, it means I'm not growing.

If that's what helps you grow, then I hope you get all the kicks needed for you to grow as much as you like.

Life and death themselves have kicked me in the face hard enough, that no further kicks are needed in this lifetime from any keyboard warriors in order to inspire the full flowering of my business potential.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

In my defence, by the time I read this thread, the OP had deleted all of the cancer stuff

It's in my intro post from my profile page.

I'm sorry for the loss of your sister.

Thanks for your kind wishes.

 

[Late Bloomer]

O and by the way, Fiverr / Upwork violate commandment of control. Use them to hire people to get things done for you, not give yourself a new employer.

That's a great point I'd like to dig into in another thread. Is there already a post here that already discusses freelance gigs vs. a Fastlane business? I see freelance gigs as the onramp, not the Fastlane itself. The only appeal of the freelance gigs is that they seem to offer more control and flexibility than a day job, for this week's basic living expense money. As soon as I can move more into Team Producer to sell something scalable, then all of these time-for-money trades should fade away to the rearview mirror.

 

[Late Bloomer]

The market has no empathy. Will focusing on hardships you have endured help you advance in business? Most likely not.

Some markets don't have any empathy, but some do. There are people who have shared their own experiences of hard times, and audiences, clients, and customers who have respect and empathy choose to buy more from someone who has been through tough times and shared from the heart about that experience. In some markets such as writing and conducting seminars about personal growth topics, the very depth of what I'm sharing can be a cause of success, not a roadblock to success.

For other types of markets, the personal story of the founder is irrelevant. To make up an example, suppose I learned that Sprint was founded by someone who started a phone company because he had no other way to be in touch with loved ones who had fatal illnesses. I'd be touched by the story, but it would have nothing to do with my purchase decisions for phone plans.

What I post here is not the same as my own personal and professional marketing materials. I don't include irrelevant personal stuff in professional material targeted to an audience that's never claimed to care about mindset and personal growth. (MJ's audience can be expected to care about mindset and personal growth, as it's obviously a major theme area for his work.)

 

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[Late Bloomer]

Dude, WTF.

Your response was upset when I complained that someone dropped a cryptic haiku rather than saying something useful for me. He has since apologized publicly to me here for being unhelpful with his comment that I criticized as unhelpful. Was he wrong in making that apology to me?