Jokes, Insults, Disrespect and More

[unicon]

To Steve, I would say you got it right - The rule is context before content, if there is a negative statement made prematurely the first writer may come back and make the prejudger look "stupid" or more importantly pin point his/her exact words so the prejudger changes their whole value system (dramatic) - or whole way of thinking that was invisible before to themselves

Now to be specific MJs answer to Diane. This was after being softened up by Russ after his typically well thought out inappropriate explanation of jokes about women, blacks, and gays. These were the two points that made me respond.

These all refer to the larger question of civility. Where is the cutoff? MJ appropriately brought up Diane's own words and showed her she underestimated the moderator and the forum itself. In fact she can learn from the direct to the point response by MJ without wasting one ounce of time (this is a key concept). Now was this discipline (Clint with a pencil) too hard on Diane who is knowledgable in her own right? I think not, my own feeling was an instant admiration for MJs handling. That I felt the same way but did not pin point the words that MJ saw and responded to. Whether this is affirmation or new learning it is Good not Bad.

This gets into very heavy issues - for example the debate is not about liberal or conservative, being soft or hard, good or bad, etc. It is about the truth and being political is an excuse for the truth.

A good part of this forum hangs on the pure value of time, productivity, and truth as a priority. The opposite of that will be usually be exposed, that contrast first is somewhat adversarial and then leads to consenses (natural flow) where all the learning takes place. This is the attraction for myself. Others have called this reaching or attaining community.

Exposure = Enforcement

Community = Trust

The reality is one cannot skip the sequence!

 

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[SteveO]

The specific example clarified your post very well.

I am certainly one of those people that can speak too quickly. There are plenty of times in my life that I have spewed words only to wish I could take them back. My ex-wife sarcastically stated once "There is Steve making friends again". Now, I am asked to ring a little bell to let people know when I am trying to be funny. :smx4:

 

[unicon]

I too got it wrong in my explanation with a misplaced adjective.

With regard to Russ I meant to say "Inappropriate Jokes" as opposed to "Inappropriate explanation." Russ's thoughts were indeed thought provoking.

The example of "Clint with a pencil" was to humorously take the idea of a character known for brutal enforcement and equate that to the more powerful use of words to set records straight and enforce the truth.

To the extent that one is a woman, a black, or a gay - the real danger is not the persecution you will receive throughout one's life, it is the loss of objectivity in one's thinking or thinking process that is the real damage.

Everyone gets their feellings hurt real or imaginary, the battles are just on different levels which is the individual's choice to prioritize.

The forums organization and good intent speaks for itself.

 

[Russ H]

Thanks for the explanation and clarification, unicon.

Much appreciated.

-Russ H.

 

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[randallg99]

... Now, I am asked to ring a little bell to let people know when I am trying to be funny. :smx4:

LOL! a few too many times I got blank stares from crowds of people because my "wit" got ahead of myself! and then to top it off with a gleaming glare from my wife can really make me want to crawl into the hole they all think I came from... heh.

 

[unicon]

As RK states: A healthy enviornment is one that offers feedback.

Life is constantly giving you priceless information if you are willing to receive it.

Feedback is Free. Listen to your feedback. Successful people seek more feedback.

Your standard of living is a great source of feedback. The real world is trying to tell you something.

Nothing infuriates people more than feedback they did not ask for.

 

[Bilgefisher]

Am I the only one that kind of wishes this thread would fall into forum oblivion?

We made our points(some very good ones at that), but I think its now distracting to the overall forum feel and purpose. Just my opinion.

 

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[michael]

I agree with Bilge.

A lot of good discussion has taken place but it is really beginning to drag on a little much.

Perhaps it should be locked ...


:locked::locked::locked:

 

[Runum]

It does seem to come back from the dead. I don't care one way or the other about locking it.:cheers:

 

[phlgirl]

Why would you lock a thread if there are still people interested in the discussion?

There are plenty of threads around here which I do not take the time to read - simply because I do not have much interest in the subject matter - but who am I to prevent others from chatting about it?

Sorry.... perhaps I am missing something but I just don't get it.

 

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[Russ H]

Wow- really interesting that this thread produces discomfort. That was never my intent.

Bilge, micheal, others-- we get new people on these forums every day. Most just lurk, and never post anything. Even regular posters here don't go reading through the old, past posts very much.

If we locked this down, this thread would float to the bottom-- no one would ever see it.

I do understand what you mean, though: For a lot of the threads on these forums, once I've read through and responded, I don't really have anything else to say on the matter.

It might interest those reading this to know that I've gotten more PMs and other private messages about this thread than any other thread on the forums (some folks do it through rep speed, in the comments section, others by requesting that I allow a PM to be sent, etc) . The vast majority of these comments are "thanks for doing this, it's a hard topic to discuss", or "wow, I had no idea, thanks".

I didn't raise this to divide folks on the forums-- I did it to bring us closer together. And I think it has done that, in a lot of ways.

Checking the counter, this thread has actually become one of the top 100 most viewed threads on the forums-- which is saying something when you have over 6000 threads!

I wish I could do something that would make those that feel discomfort about this feel more at ease. I do think it reflects the growing/ learning aspect of these forums, in ways that you just don't see in most other internet hangouts.

And I think that's a really good thing. :smx2:

Still, if there is a way to remove the discomfort factor, I'd love to figure out a way to do it.

-Russ H.

 

[Russ H]

Bump up for the newer folks .

-Russ H.

 

[AroundTheWorld]

Oh, boy.... I forgot about this thread!

Ah, good times. lol.

 

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[Russ H]

Yeah, I'd been biting my tongue on Jackie's "redneck" thread, so I bumped this one up instead.

-Russ H.

 

[Russ H]

And then I wound up having a little fun on Jackie's thread . . . 'tho it seems like my tongue in cheek "googlin" was taken seriously.

Just another confirmation that my sense of humor is . . . well, different.

-Russ H.