I only watch porn once a day...

[Johnny boy]

It doesn’t really occur to me very much to compare myself to the average person anymore.

At some point you realize it would be like feeling superior about comparing yourself to a cow.

Would you brag about speaking better English than a cow? Would you brag about being better at chess than a cow?

Of course not. You wouldn’t even look down on it. It’s a different thing than you. I don’t hold normal people to the same standards.

Yes they jerk off, get fat, have a low mental and emotional intelligence, never improve themselves, never have introspection, have too many emotions and clouded judgment, blame others, make excuses, etc. I expect it and hold them to the standard of a normal person. Not what I hold myself to, and I don’t spend much time at all comparing or expecting anything similar to what I expect of myself.

Everyone in those comments and that guy included are all just a lower level of people. I’m sure his idea of success would be a decent long term job he enjoys and a 1-2 week vacation each year. And that’s not crazy for a normal person.

Whenever I see that stuff I don’t even think about it I just skip it and for a millisecond I think “ah, cattle talk, not for me” and it’s out of my head in an instant. No emotions, no judgement, no superiority, just back on my path.

That’s probably not strictly related to your point but it’s an interesting thing to think about when those “ha, look at that loser, I am better” thoughts pop up. I used to be like that because for a while I was in that class and once you start to pull away and leave it in the dust, you totally stop comparing to that class of people.

 

[Subsonic]

I was on r/self-improvement recently and I saw a post of a young man complaining that he was a looser and a virgin at 28 even though he does "everything".

He studies biology, works out 3 times a week, drinks 4L of water a day, meditates and only eats 50g of sugar a day or smth like that. He also proudly exclaimed he only watched porn once a day before going to bed.

See the issue already?
Before going into the lesson you can take I'll first say what the comments were saying him.

No though love. Instead people saying

"You archived more than me already and your half my age, feel proud of yourself."

"Don't expect so much, just accept that most people won't be amazing. It's fine to be average."

"Your amazing as you are already. You will find the right one eventually."


The first lesson is that taking average advice from average people does not make you amazing. Also what you compare yourself to matters.
But F*ck, I hate that "Hey don't worry that your a looser, I am a looser as well so it's all good and being a looser is fun as well, you know ?"
There is a young man who really just doesn't know what he needs to do. He is unhappy with his situation and instead of helping him get out of it, the people act like crabs in a bucket and tell him to just accept a unacceptable situation.

The second lesson is that most people have no idea of what "effort" and "everything possible" is.

With that in mind let's look at what I though when reading his "proof that he does everything".

"Alright so you do nothing but sit on your a$$ 4 days a week, watch porn EVERY SINGLE DAY and eat more sweets every day than I do in a month. Yet you think you deserve results you don't work for"

I am personally not doing what I could but here is how I would write that.

-I work out at least 6 times a week, never watch porn or any sort of stimulating content, eat the same balanced, unprocessed and healthy meals every day with counted macros and calories etc..

Guess what, I am not a Chad or superman drowing in appreciation and attraction from girls. Unlike the other dude however I don't feel betrayed from by the world.
That's because I know that even what I am doing is not enough to become superman in a few months.
Good things take time and effort.

Something else that kept being mentioned was "balance". I personally don't believe humans need balance. We have not evolutionary changed at all from the people that lived hundreds and thousands of years before us. Those people didn't have TVs and Porn to "unwind".
The idea that one NEEDS instant gratification is unscientific and just propagated by people who want to justify their lifestyle.

Besides that we all know that to archive a great life one needs to temporarily forsake balance.

Sadly people seem to want to skip the hard work and still enjoy a balanced life...

But what do you think? Does that man deserve 7 virgin wives and a 500k salary for "trying hard". Am I wrong?
Feel free to tell me

 

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[heavy_industry]

even though he does "everything".

lol

Action fakers need to learn cause-and-effect.

How is drinking 4 liters of water a day conducive to getting a girlfriend?

Want to get a gf?
1. Be(come) attractive - successful, jacked, confident, smart, socially competent
2. Go out and talk to girls

And the word "balance" is synonymous to mediocrity when you encounter it on reddit.

All the losers that told him "it's ok the way you are" are the F*cking crabs in the bucket. They are not his friends.

 

[Antifragile]

It doesn’t really occur to me very much to compare myself to the average person anymore.

At some point you realize it would be like feeling superior about comparing yourself to a cow.

Would you brag about speaking better English than a cow? Would you brag about being better at chess than a cow?

Of course not. You wouldn’t even look down on it. It’s a different thing than you. I don’t hold normal people to the same standards.

Yes they jerk off, get fat, have a low mental and emotional intelligence, never improve themselves, never have introspection, have too many emotions and clouded judgment, blame others, make excuses, etc. I expect it and hold them to the standard of a normal person. Not what I hold myself to, and I don’t spend much time at all comparing or expecting anything similar to what I expect of myself.

Everyone in those comments and that guy included are all just a lower level of people. I’m sure his idea of success would be a decent long term job he enjoys and a 1-2 week vacation each year. And that’s not crazy for a normal person.

Whenever I see that stuff I don’t even think about it I just skip it and for a millisecond I think “ah, cattle talk, not for me” and it’s out of my head in an instant. No emotions, no judgement, no superiority, just back on my path.

That’s probably not strictly related to your point but it’s an interesting thing to think about when those “ha, look at that loser, I am better” thoughts pop up. I used to be like that because for a while I was in that class and once you start to pull away and leave it in the dust, you totally stop comparing to that class of people.

Q: How do you know you've made it?
A: When you stop competing against others and only compete against yourself.

That interpretation of what you wrote, I'd instantly GOLD like.

Comparing yourself as someone "on another level" and using cows “ah, cattle talk, not for me” as your analogy doesn't sounds like "No emotions, no judgement, no superiority, just back on my path." but quite the opposite. You realize you've just elevated yourself above "cows" people.



But what is wrong with judgement? We all judge other people! It's about as natural to us as breathing.

• The wrong is when we use judgement to just pacify our own shortcomings. Like when we see someone worse than us and instead of lending a hand, we feel pacified that we are doing better and don't need to progress anymore. It's the "well, at least I am better than that guy, ha-ha" innocent but useless judgement. Of course it can get worse, way worse. The most extreme example I can think of is when Nazi's decided Jews were inferior and must be exterminated.

• The right reason is to learn from others. When we see 99% people living the life we do NOT want to live, we take lessons from behaviour. We get courage to step out of comfort zone and try new things (like entrepreneurship). We gain confidence in knowing that going against group behaviour will feel uncomfortable, but evidence shows it to be the right path to achieve our dreams.

But what do you think? Does that man deserve 7 virgin wives and a 500k salary for "trying hard". Am I wrong?

What was the main reason you chose to create this thread?

 

[Johnny boy]

Thanks for putting this into words. No I don't want to know what the Kardashians, Kanye or any celebrity is doing for that matter. No idea how this stuff lives rent free in people's head.

I don’t mean entertainment. I mean when you see average people and you think “ha, I’m better”. Literally when you see other people who talk about celebrities, don’t think “wow, what losers, I am superior because I don’t talk about celebrities”. I’m saying those kinds of thoughts just highlight that you’re in the same league as those people. When you are at the next level you won’t compare to them or feel superior, it will just look like cattle and you won’t judge them. Just like you wouldn’t judge an ant for being small, it just is what it is.

 

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[kommen]

I genuinely feel bad for the guy. It could be that he's actually making progress from chronic porn addiction, but as we all know the nature of Reddit, he's surrounded by mediocre dumbasses who discourage him from pushing harder.

If I were you and had a Reddit account, I'd tell the guy to not listen to others and push harder.

For the past few months most of my actions have been driven by me thinking of my deathbed. Almost everyday I imagine myself being 100 years old (Amen!) laying on my deathbed, about to die. And I'll think, "Am I proud of my life? Could have I push harder for more results in my short life, but didn't out of laziness or etc?"

I don't know about you guys, but I don't believe in reincarnation. I wish the guy knew how short his life actually is, and that he can't get a time refund. That mindset will force him to push harder in life and out of his porn addiction.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

But what do you think? Does that man deserve 7 virgin wives and a 500k salary for "trying hard". Am I wrong?
Feel free to tell me

If he only watches porn once a day, he’s a loser and my advice is to keep your distance because losisitis is contagious. When you read or listen to losers, those loser thoughts enter and corrupt your mind.

Hang on the fastlane not on reddit because I can tell you for sure there’s a greater concentration of winners here than elsewhere brother!

 

[REV5028]

I didnt because his post had 200 reply and he probably wouldnt have seen my reply.

Your comment makes me think of a couple human-psychology things.

First, the bandwagon effect. Not in the sense that you're agreeing with or thinking like the other commenters on that guy's post, but I wonder how many times we all don't make a comment because subconsciously we don't want to go against the "hive mind" and instead we use logical reasoning ("ah, I'm comment 200+, he'll never see this anyway") to keep us safe from potential perceived danger.

Second, the bystander effect. People are significantly less likely to help someone in need when in the presence of others. It doesn't seem like this guy was being cyber-bullied or anything, but was he really getting the help he needed? You had enough to say about this guy's situation to make a post about it on an entirely different forum, so why not offer your different perspective directly to him? Again, totally logical to think he wouldn't even see it or that maybe it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear. But what if he did see it and what if it really did help him to get a little tough love from Subsonic?

Just makes me wonder how much we subconsciously hold ourselves back, to whom are we willing to offer help, when/for what are we willing to offer help? Obviously, we can't help everyone all the time and there are definitely times when I'm in a similar position as you and I don't make the comment for similar reasons. This whole thread just made me think about entrepreneurial spirit and what it means on an individual basis. Anyway...

 

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[Matt Lee]

r/self-improvement recently and I saw a post of a young man complaining that he was a looser and a virgin at 28 even though he does "everything".

His first mistake is to post on reddit about self-improvement, like come on... Reddit and self-improvement?

You can probably change this guy's life if you link him to the forum no joke.

If he found TFLF, he would've gotten some funny interaction with some a$$-kickers here. Then he would've taken home some golden nuggets and done something different.

There are 1.6 M remembers on that subreddit and only 80,000 members on this forum.

So surely, reddit is a better place to go for self-improvement advice. Surely.

 

[Choate]

There's an incredible amount of levels to everything. Everything also takes time. How much time is just dependent on where someone currently is and how fast they want to get to where they are going.

Maybe working out 3 times per week, drinking a lot of water and limiting sugar is a step up from where he was previously. In the context of his dating life, that alone might not be enough to be competitive in the dating field, or he has other things he needs to work on. He probably feels like he has taken a big step forward but doesn't yet realize that there's still a long way to go.

The climb up is always harder and requires more sacrifice.

 

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[Antifragile]

I guess it's a natural process, starting when you wake up and realize you're in the herd, stepping out thinking you're better, pointing your finger and laughing at them I can do better.. To then just turning your back and walking your own path...

Here, I fixed it for you.

 

[Subsonic]

It doesn’t really occur to me very much to compare myself to the average person anymore.

At some point you realize it would be like feeling superior about comparing yourself to a cow.

Would you brag about speaking better English than a cow? Would you brag about being better at chess than a cow?

Of course not. You wouldn’t even look down on it. It’s a different thing than you. I don’t hold normal people to the same standards.

Yes they jerk off, get fat, have a low mental and emotional intelligence, never improve themselves, never have introspection, have too many emotions and clouded judgment, blame others, make excuses, etc. I expect it and hold them to the standard of a normal person. Not what I hold myself to, and I don’t spend much time at all comparing or expecting anything similar to what I expect of myself.

Everyone in those comments and that guy included are all just a lower level of people. I’m sure his idea of success would be a decent long term job he enjoys and a 1-2 week vacation each year. And that’s not crazy for a normal person.

Whenever I see that stuff I don’t even think about it I just skip it and for a millisecond I think “ah, cattle talk, not for me” and it’s out of my head in an instant. No emotions, no judgement, no superiority, just back on my path.

That’s probably not strictly related to your point but it’s an interesting thing to think about when those “ha, look at that loser, I am better” thoughts pop up. I used to be like that because for a while I was in that class and once you start to pull away and leave it in the dust, you totally stop comparing to that class of people.

That is indeed a very interesting thing to think about.

Thanks for sharing that insight.

 

[Roli]

I was on r/self-improvement recently and I saw a post of a young man complaining that he was a looser and a virgin at 28 even though he does "everything".

He studies biology, works out 3 times a week, drinks 4L of water a day, meditates and only eats 50g of sugar a day or smth like that. He also proudly exclaimed he only watched porn once a day before going to bed.

See the issue already?
Before going into the lesson you can take I'll first say what the comments were saying him.

No though love. Instead people saying

"You archived more than me already and your half my age, feel proud of yourself."

"Don't expect so much, just accept that most people won't be amazing. It's fine to be average."

"Your amazing as you are already. You will find the right one eventually."


The first lesson is that taking average advice from average people does not make you amazing. Also what you compare yourself to matters.
But F*ck, I hate that "Hey don't worry that your a looser, I am a looser as well so it's all good and being a looser is fun as well, you know ?"
There is a young man who really just doesn't know what he needs to do. He is unhappy with his situation and instead of helping him get out of it, the people act like crabs in a bucket and tell him to just accept a unacceptable situation.

The second lesson is that most people have no idea of what "effort" and "everything possible" is.

With that in mind let's look at what I though when reading his "proof that he does everything".

"Alright so you do nothing but sit on your a$$ 4 days a week, watch porn EVERY SINGLE DAY and eat more sweets every day than I do in a month. Yet you think you deserve results you don't work for"

I am personally not doing what I could but here is how I would write that.

-I work out at least 6 times a week, never watch porn or any sort of stimulating content, eat the same balanced, unprocessed and healthy meals every day with counted macros and calories etc..

Guess what, I am not a Chad or superman drowing in appreciation and attraction from girls. Unlike the other dude however I don't feel betrayed from by the world.
That's because I know that even what I am doing is not enough to become superman in a few months.
Good things take time and effort.

Something else that kept being mentioned was "balance". I personally don't believe humans need balance. We have not evolutionary changed at all from the people that lived hundreds and thousands of years before us. Those people didn't have TVs and Porn to "unwind".
The idea that one NEEDS instant gratification is unscientific and just propagated by people who want to justify their lifestyle.

Besides that we all know that to archive a great life one needs to temporarily forsake balance.

Sadly people seem to want to skip the hard work and still enjoy a balanced life...

But what do you think? Does that man deserve 7 virgin wives and a 500k salary for "trying hard". Am I wrong?
Feel free to tell me

I only watch porn after meals.

I'm down to twelve meals a day.

Lolz, seriously though, great post. I hope you gave him the tough love he needs.

 

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[Subsonic]

I only watch porn after meals.

I'm down to twelve meals a day.

Lolz, seriously though, great post. I hope you gave him the tough love he needs.

I didnt because his post had 200 reply and he probably wouldnt have seen my reply.

Out of these 200 replies not a single one was telling him that hes doing too little. F*cking hell some were telling him hes being too hard on himself and should enjoy himself more...

 

[Spenny]

Whenever I see that stuff I don’t even think about it I just skip it and for a millisecond I think “ah, cattle talk, not for me” and it’s out of my head in an instant.

Thanks for putting this into words. No I don't want to know what the Kardashians, Kanye or any celebrity is doing for that matter. No idea how this stuff lives rent free in people's head.

 

[Johnny boy]

Q: How do you know you've made it?
A: When you stop competing against others and only compete against yourself.

That interpretation of what you wrote, I'd instantly GOLD like.

Comparing yourself as someone "on another level" and using cows “ah, cattle talk, not for me” as your analogy doesn't sounds like "No emotions, no judgement, no superiority, just back on my path." but quite the opposite. You realize you've just elevated yourself above "cows" people.

I’ve just been in a ton of situations where my above average income but still employed friends spend their time talking shit about people lower than them and it’s like 30% of their conversations centering around things like “can you believe people _____?” And meanwhile I didn’t even notice or think about it, just seems like a waste of time. It doesn’t make me feel “good” like it makes them feel.

 

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[JordanK]

Why so little ?

I do some form of exercise every day and go to the gym about 6 days a week.
A human doesn't need days without exercise. Ofc using some variance is helpful to avoid excessive stress on tendons and muscles.

You want someone to stack those early wins in the beginning. Going from very little to 6 days a week is intense. Going from very little to 3-5 days is tough. You have to put yourself in the mindset of a beginner on this journey.

 

[Spenny]

Literally when you see other people who talk about celebrities, don’t think “wow, what losers, I am superior because I don’t talk about celebrities”. I’m saying those kinds of thoughts just highlight that you’re in the same league as those people.

Ah I see your point, and looking back on my comment you're spot on. I may still have those thoughts of superiority, but I highly doubt I'm gonna be in that same class for long. Besides, it drives me to be be better.

 

[Panos Daras]

Do you know something? I like your mentality! In my book average = bad!! The average person is overweight or obese, smokes, complains about the government, watches football like an idiot, and self-identifies as a supporter of the x,y,z football club.

At his work, he feels super proud that he is included because he F*cks the same gender person as him/her/zea/zen/they/them/we/you/she/her and that their master allows them to be whatever religion they want, and wear random religious symbols on them, and he has a specific skin color that they worked so hard to earn! (wow freedom!).

They complain that nobody wants to have sex with them because everyone is an idiot but if you meet them you end your encounter with a long yawn.

In addition, they feel they deserve to be paid more because they do basic stuff and say buzzphrases in meetings like "we need to be proactive and not reactive" and "I am completely aligned with the company's culture of {insert buzzphrase here}".

Also, working hard is relative to who you ask. When we were in high school for example, quite often, students that did not do jack shit said they were studying hard, and top performers used to say that they did not study at all. It depends on what you compare yourself to.

That being said I am a big proponent of free healthcare, free education, minimum wage, and even universal basic income. In the end, we need to keep average people out of the way, not give them incentives to commit crimes, so that we the creators can create without obstructions. With the leaps in technology, people really do not need to pretend that they work 8-hour work weeks so let's drop this facade.

 

[Kevin88660]

I was on r/self-improvement recently and I saw a post of a young man complaining that he was a looser and a virgin at 28 even though he does "everything".

He studies biology, works out 3 times a week, drinks 4L of water a day, meditates and only eats 50g of sugar a day or smth like that. He also proudly exclaimed he only watched porn once a day before going to bed.

See the issue already?
Before going into the lesson you can take I'll first say what the comments were saying him.

No though love. Instead people saying

"You archived more than me already and your half my age, feel proud of yourself."

"Don't expect so much, just accept that most people won't be amazing. It's fine to be average."

"Your amazing as you are already. You will find the right one eventually."


The first lesson is that taking average advice from average people does not make you amazing. Also what you compare yourself to matters.
But F*ck, I hate that "Hey don't worry that your a looser, I am a looser as well so it's all good and being a looser is fun as well, you know ?"
There is a young man who really just doesn't know what he needs to do. He is unhappy with his situation and instead of helping him get out of it, the people act like crabs in a bucket and tell him to just accept a unacceptable situation.

The second lesson is that most people have no idea of what "effort" and "everything possible" is.

With that in mind let's look at what I though when reading his "proof that he does everything".

"Alright so you do nothing but sit on your a$$ 4 days a week, watch porn EVERY SINGLE DAY and eat more sweets every day than I do in a month. Yet you think you deserve results you don't work for"

I am personally not doing what I could but here is how I would write that.

-I work out at least 6 times a week, never watch porn or any sort of stimulating content, eat the same balanced, unprocessed and healthy meals every day with counted macros and calories etc..

Guess what, I am not a Chad or superman drowing in appreciation and attraction from girls. Unlike the other dude however I don't feel betrayed from by the world.
That's because I know that even what I am doing is not enough to become superman in a few months.
Good things take time and effort.

Something else that kept being mentioned was "balance". I personally don't believe humans need balance. We have not evolutionary changed at all from the people that lived hundreds and thousands of years before us. Those people didn't have TVs and Porn to "unwind".
The idea that one NEEDS instant gratification is unscientific and just propagated by people who want to justify their lifestyle.

Besides that we all know that to archive a great life one needs to temporarily forsake balance.

Sadly people seem to want to skip the hard work and still enjoy a balanced life...

But what do you think? Does that man deserve 7 virgin wives and a 500k salary for "trying hard". Am I wrong?
Feel free to tell me

Didn’t hear what he does to make a living.

Hardly “everything”.

It is good for him to develop high health awareness at a young age. Don’t fall into the trap of using health to exchange money when young and using money to exchange for health when old.

If he cannot let others see clearly how he is going to put food on the table why would any girl imagine a relationship with him?

If he still has energy to surf porn once a day before bed it is likely that he is under-exerting on proper hustles during day.

 

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[Spenny]

You archived more than me already and your half my age, feel proud of yourself."

I wouldn't care if this was a random person, but this is a self improvement subreddit. To not drop these these basic toxins and pick up exercise consistently for decades is pitiful.

He also proudly exclaimed he only watched porn once a day before going to bed.

I saw a post of a young man complaining that he was a loser and a virgin at 28 even though he does "everything".

Rotting the mind while having an external locus of control. Instead of focusing on getting more stuff done to get to where he wants to be, he jumps on a forum to complain & get an ego rub.

Yikes.

 

[Happyheart]

I didnt because his post had 200 reply and he probably wouldnt have seen my reply.

Out of these 200 replies not a single one was telling him that hes doing too little. F*cking hell some were telling him hes being too hard on himself and should enjoy himself more...

Well, you can now refer him to this thread about his lack of effort.

 

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[Jrjohnny]

The reason I made my post was becaus all evidence pointed to the fact that him doing stuff wasn't just a step to a better life but actually what he believed to be "optimal behavior" or "all that's there to do".

Again, I can't believe how someone can both aspire to have a body that gets him laid and then also think that going 3 times a week will cut it.

Fair, I do calisthenics 3 days a week, but then I slide cardio in between, today is actually legs for me wish me good luck.

 

[Tomco]

The right reason is to learn from others. When we see 99% people living the life we do NOT want to live, we take lessons from behaviour. We get courage to step out of comfort zone and try new things (like entrepreneurship). We gain confidence in knowing that going against group behaviour will feel uncomfortable, but evidence shows it to be the right path to achieve our dreams.

Great point made here, thanks for pointing it out @Antifragile!

Basically constructing your future goals and aspirations on what is lacking around you, or what you feel you can do better. What everyone else is doing is not necessarily wrong or evil, and that you're the "alpha male" for going against the herd, so to speak.

Many of these self-improvement journeys are gone through to feel superior to the crowd, thinking you'll get more girls, or achieve some kind of laser vision by day 83 (I'm talking out of experience here hahaha).

But the key here is to observe the herd, like @Johnny boy articulated well. Basically, becoming aware of who you are and realizing that only you have the power (choice) to change. Seeing what you lack or what you want to achieve and doing whatever it takes to get there.

I guess it's a natural process, starting when you wake up and realize you're in the herd, stepping out thinking you're better, pointing your finger and laughing at them. To then just turning your back and walking your own path...

Thanks for posting guys!

 

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[Saad Khan]

@Subsonic why do you still use reddit?

 

[Subsonic]

@Subsonic why do you still use reddit?

I was checking the web design sub for help with hosting and api stuff.
I then scrolled down the main page and came across that post.


Generally I do not use reddit for obvious reasons...

 

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[Saad Khan]

Here, I fixed it for you.

+1. Can't afford waste energy laughing at them. Focus on yourself. Compare yourself with the yesterday version of you.

 

[JordanK]

New plan. Go to the gym/cardio 3-5 days a week. Count calories and be in a deficit. Maybe swap in some gym days for MMA/Boxing/Swimming or some other club where you can make good friends. Go to the bar 2-3 nights a week with said friends and talk to women until you lose your virginity. Realize that it's not actually a big deal and break that mental barrier. Then he can focus on the minute stuff.

 

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[Subsonic]

Your comment makes me think of a couple human-psychology things.

First, the bandwagon effect. Not in the sense that you're agreeing with or thinking like the other commenters on that guy's post, but I wonder how many times we all don't make a comment because subconsciously we don't want to go against the "hive mind" and instead we use logical reasoning ("ah, I'm comment 200+, he'll never see this anyway") to keep us safe from potential perceived danger.

Second, the bystander effect. People are significantly less likely to help someone in need when in the presence of others. It doesn't seem like this guy was being cyber-bullied or anything, but was he really getting the help he needed? You had enough to say about this guy's situation to make a post about it on an entirely different forum, so why not offer your different perspective directly to him? Again, totally logical to think he wouldn't even see it or that maybe it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear. But what if he did see it and what if it really did help him to get a little tough love from Subsonic?

Just makes me wonder how much we subconsciously hold ourselves back, to whom are we willing to offer help, when/for what are we willing to offer help? Obviously, we can't help everyone all the time and there are definitely times when I'm in a similar position as you and I don't make the comment for similar reasons. This whole thread just made me think about entrepreneurial spirit and what it means on an individual basis. Anyway...

Interesting angle.

Thanks for sharing

 

[Levit]

I will play devil's advocate and say you can and sometimes MUST find balance. A balance that works for you as an individual, that's tailored towards moving towards your goals in the way that you can, and I say that as someone that has a terrible track record of not being at all balanced and a few years ago, I would have agreed with you 100%. The fact is you don't know what people are going through health-wise, either mentally or physically, and you have to have some empathy; I think it's key.

You have to pick your battles sometimes in life. He is clearly doing a lot in the right direction and perhaps just needs a different plan, some guidance and a mindset shift, but he doesn't need to go full-on Jocko Willink/David Goggins to be successful with women or in life.

Sometimes life will force you to have some balance. I have a chronic pain condition which demands I devote time to treating it, so I can't be running 30 miles every morning with a backpack on while downing alpha brain, but I can integrate what I need to do into my routine, exercise in a way that's adjusted for my specific situation and work towards my most valued goals every day and never stop trying to improve that situation doing everything I can conceive of -- but the point is I can see that someone that's totally healthy and doesn't get that might look at me and think, this guy could be doing more.

That said, I agree that the crabs in a bucket mentality is far too prevalent. I've had a LOT of people in my life tell me just to give up and accept my chronic pain for instance and stop pushing to make it better...how crazy is that?

I suppose the point I want to arrive at is you should be careful not to waste your own time trying to elevate yourself above others like this guy when you will never really know what it's like to be him. Even if he is just lazy or trapped in a poor mindset right now, it's going down the wrong path to start judging that too harshly without taking more time to really understand. No one wants to be a loser.

Even from a purely selfish point of view, look at it like this. People like this guy have problems. You need empathy to understand them. If you can understand them, maybe you can solve them. If you can solve them, you might become very wealthy doing so.

 

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