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I only watch porn once a day...

Anything related to matters of the mind

Subsonic

How you do anything is how you do everything
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I was on r/self-improvement recently and I saw a post of a young man complaining that he was a looser and a virgin at 28 even though he does "everything".

He studies biology, works out 3 times a week, drinks 4L of water a day, meditates and only eats 50g of sugar a day or smth like that. He also proudly exclaimed he only watched porn once a day before going to bed.

See the issue already?
Before going into the lesson you can take I'll first say what the comments were saying him.

No though love. Instead people saying

"You archived more than me already and your half my age, feel proud of yourself."

"Don't expect so much, just accept that most people won't be amazing. It's fine to be average."

"Your amazing as you are already. You will find the right one eventually."


The first lesson is that taking average advice from average people does not make you amazing. Also what you compare yourself to matters.
But F*ck, I hate that "Hey don't worry that your a looser, I am a looser as well so it's all good and being a looser is fun as well, you know ?"
There is a young man who really just doesn't know what he needs to do. He is unhappy with his situation and instead of helping him get out of it, the people act like crabs in a bucket and tell him to just accept a unacceptable situation.

The second lesson is that most people have no idea of what "effort" and "everything possible" is.

With that in mind let's look at what I though when reading his "proof that he does everything".

"Alright so you do nothing but sit on your a$$ 4 days a week, watch porn EVERY SINGLE DAY and eat more sweets every day than I do in a month. Yet you think you deserve results you don't work for"

I am personally not doing what I could but here is how I would write that.

-I work out at least 6 times a week, never watch porn or any sort of stimulating content, eat the same balanced, unprocessed and healthy meals every day with counted macros and calories etc..

Guess what, I am not a Chad or superman drowing in appreciation and attraction from girls. Unlike the other dude however I don't feel betrayed from by the world.
That's because I know that even what I am doing is not enough to become superman in a few months.
Good things take time and effort.

Something else that kept being mentioned was "balance". I personally don't believe humans need balance. We have not evolutionary changed at all from the people that lived hundreds and thousands of years before us. Those people didn't have TVs and Porn to "unwind".
The idea that one NEEDS instant gratification is unscientific and just propagated by people who want to justify their lifestyle.

Besides that we all know that to archive a great life one needs to temporarily forsake balance.

Sadly people seem to want to skip the hard work and still enjoy a balanced life...

But what do you think? Does that man deserve 7 virgin wives and a 500k salary for "trying hard". Am I wrong?
Feel free to tell me :)
 
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kommen

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I genuinely feel bad for the guy. It could be that he's actually making progress from chronic porn addiction, but as we all know the nature of Reddit, he's surrounded by mediocre dumbasses who discourage him from pushing harder.

If I were you and had a Reddit account, I'd tell the guy to not listen to others and push harder.

For the past few months most of my actions have been driven by me thinking of my deathbed. Almost everyday I imagine myself being 100 years old (Amen!) laying on my deathbed, about to die. And I'll think, "Am I proud of my life? Could have I push harder for more results in my short life, but didn't out of laziness or etc?"

I don't know about you guys, but I don't believe in reincarnation. I wish the guy knew how short his life actually is, and that he can't get a time refund. That mindset will force him to push harder in life and out of his porn addiction.
 

Johnny boy

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It doesn’t really occur to me very much to compare myself to the average person anymore.

At some point you realize it would be like feeling superior about comparing yourself to a cow.

Would you brag about speaking better English than a cow? Would you brag about being better at chess than a cow?

Of course not. You wouldn’t even look down on it. It’s a different thing than you. I don’t hold normal people to the same standards.

Yes they jerk off, get fat, have a low mental and emotional intelligence, never improve themselves, never have introspection, have too many emotions and clouded judgment, blame others, make excuses, etc. I expect it and hold them to the standard of a normal person. Not what I hold myself to, and I don’t spend much time at all comparing or expecting anything similar to what I expect of myself.

Everyone in those comments and that guy included are all just a lower level of people. I’m sure his idea of success would be a decent long term job he enjoys and a 1-2 week vacation each year. And that’s not crazy for a normal person.

Whenever I see that stuff I don’t even think about it I just skip it and for a millisecond I think “ah, cattle talk, not for me” and it’s out of my head in an instant. No emotions, no judgement, no superiority, just back on my path.

That’s probably not strictly related to your point but it’s an interesting thing to think about when those “ha, look at that loser, I am better” thoughts pop up. I used to be like that because for a while I was in that class and once you start to pull away and leave it in the dust, you totally stop comparing to that class of people.
 

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