I need brutal honesty pls. Tk you

[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper">Hey all.hope you are having a great week.<br /> <br /> I need pure honesty here as this keeps coming up and I want to know the truth from the great men here-<br /> <br /> I m a dating coach and I hear women say that men are &quot;intimidated&quot; by successful women.<br /> Is this true that men dont like a women to be more successful than them or earn more money. Pls be brutally honest. It will help dating for men and women!<br /> Tks a million!<br /> Happy dating.</div>

 

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[Panos Daras]

<div class="bbWrapper">My condolences for having to work with clients who have such low self-awareness. It must be truly frustrating and heartbreaking to deal with people who can&#039;t recognize their own behaviors and their impact on others.</div>

 

[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 114807" data-quote="Panos Daras" data-source="post: 1136942" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136942" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136942">Panos Daras said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> My condolences for having to work with clients who have such low self-awareness. It must be truly frustrating and heartbreaking to deal with people who can&#039;t recognize their own behaviors and their impact on others. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Tk you.So you disagree completely correct?tks again for answering.</div>

 

[Panos Daras]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 137164" data-quote="Frances Kelleher" data-source="post: 1136943" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136943" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136943">Frances Kelleher said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Tk you.So you disagree completely correct?tks again for answering. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>No, I neither agree nor disagree. Different people have different preferences in life. However, if someone goes to their business/life/whatever coach and complains about men, the market, the weather, or whatever, it&#039;s a problem of their self-awareness and having an external locus of control.<br /> <br /> I say to all my friends who cannot find a man or woman: What do YOU want, and what do YOU bring to the table? If the only skill you have in life is how to climb the corporate ladder, and I&#039;m searching for a mother for my children, why would I choose you? Especially if, on top of that, the first day I come to your house, it looks like the Allies carpet-bombed it during WW2?</div>

 

[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 114807" data-quote="Panos Daras" data-source="post: 1136944" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136944" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136944">Panos Daras said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> No, I neither agree nor disagree. Different people have different preferences in life. However, if someone goes to their business/life/whatever coach and complains about men, the market, the weather, or whatever, it&#039;s a problem of their self-awareness and having an external locus of control.<br /> <br /> I say to all my friends who cannot find a man or woman: What do YOU want, and what do YOU bring to the table? If the only skill you have in life is how to climb the corporate ladder, and I&#039;m searching for a mother for my children, why would I choose you if the first day I come to your house, it looks like the Allies carpet-bombed it during WW2? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>In fairness it might sound bad and like that but really they are not complaining ,they are confused with the signals etc they get and how it really is..its like I m confused at certain things like maths..its not my thing ha ha. They are great people they just need a road map ,a bit of help navigating it and thats what I do...I actually adore my job..I love helping these people. We take this for granted as it comes easily to us. Like my accountant I d say cant believe how thick I am with tax cause he s a genius with numbers!</div>

 

[Ing]

<div class="bbWrapper">Imo you can’t compare your clients to the average man.<br /> If you need a dating coach, you allready have a problem. So other ppls opinion isn’t theirs.<br /> <br /> I would never have a problem with that. But I never had a problem with women, too. If you want one, just don’t push them away. So maybe average isn’t the same option as your clients ´</div>

 

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[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 68394" data-quote="Ing" data-source="post: 1136949" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136949" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136949">Ing said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Imo you can’t compare your clients to the a erage man.<br /> If you need a dating coach, you allready have a problem. So other ppls opi ion isn’t theirs.<br /> <br /> I would never have a problem with that. But I never had a problem with women, too. If you want one, just don’t push them away. So maybe average isn’t the aame option as your clients ´ </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Tk you so much.</div>

 

[IceCreamKid]

<div class="bbWrapper">Men generally don&#039;t care how much a woman makes. You could be filthy rich or work at McDonald&#039;s and it doesn&#039;t matter to me as long as you&#039;re sweet and pleasant to be around. If you&#039;re sweet and pleasant then that&#039;s a stronger indicator that you&#039;d be a great mother than your ability to get promotions at work.<br /> <br /> Extra points if you&#039;re the type of woman who can acknowledge when you were wrong and actually apologize. Years ago I worked at a company with 3k employees and half of the women there were divorced. ZERO of them admitted that they played a role in the breakdown of the relationship. It was always some story about how their ex was a jerk, narcissist, etc.<br /> <br /> <div class="bbMediaWrapper" data-media-site-id="youtube" data-media-key="d_jwGHJavoI"> <div class="bbMediaWrapper-inner"> <iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/d_jwGHJavoI?wmode=opaque" loading="lazy" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> </div> </div><i><span style="font-size: 10px"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/shorts/d_jwGHJavoI" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/d_jwGHJavoI</a></span></i><br /> <br /> <br /> Please share more about these clients of yours. Do they blame others for their dating failures or are they looking inside of themselves and reflecting?</div>

 

[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 3909" data-quote="IceCreamKid" data-source="post: 1136951" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136951" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136951">IceCreamKid said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Men generally don&#039;t care how much a woman makes. You could be filthy rich or work at McDonald&#039;s and it doesn&#039;t matter to me as long as you&#039;re sweet and pleasant to be around. If you&#039;re sweet and pleasant then that&#039;s a stronger indicator that you&#039;d be a great mother than your ability to get promotions at work.<br /> <br /> Extra points if you&#039;re the type of woman who can acknowledge when you were wrong and actually apologize. Years ago I worked at a company with 3k employees and half of the women there were divorced. ZERO of them admitted that they played a role in the breakdown of the relationship. It was always some story about how their ex was a jerk, narcissist, etc.<br /> <br /> <div class="bbMediaWrapper" data-media-site-id="youtube" data-media-key="d_jwGHJavoI"> <div class="bbMediaWrapper-inner"> <iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/d_jwGHJavoI?wmode=opaque" loading="lazy" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> </div> </div><i><span style="font-size: 10px"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/shorts/d_jwGHJavoI" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/d_jwGHJavoI</a></span></i><br /> <br /> <br /> Please share more about these clients of yours. Do they blame others for their dating failures or are they looking inside of themselves and reflecting? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Love it,tks a million.<br /> They are great people wanting to win just like us,but in love not business.They don&#039;t blame anyone.</div>

 

[Roby Jordan]

<div class="bbWrapper">Maybe many men are intimidated by successful women because they assume that they are looking for someone who earns equally or more and has an equal level of value. After all, many women have that preference or requirement. So those women should ask themself if their standards are higher because they are successful or are happy to date a guy of any social standing. If the standards have gone up due to the success then those men might feel that the requirements are too high and they self-reject to avoid losing time to pursue women in doomed relationships unless they feel on the same level. Maybe those women should make clearer their requirements and preferences so men can better consider their chances.</div>

 

[Maxkaz]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 137164" data-quote="Frances Kelleher" data-source="post: 1136940" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136940" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136940">Frances Kelleher said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey all.hope you are having a great week.<br /> <br /> I need pure honesty here as this keeps coming up and I want to know the truth from the great men here-<br /> <br /> I m a dating coach and I hear women say that men are &quot;intimidated&quot; by successful women.<br /> Is this true that men dont like a women to be more successful than them or earn more money. Pls be brutally honest. It will help dating for men and women!<br /> Tks a million!<br /> Happy dating. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I would say, there are two sides here.<br /> <br /> First there are men. I can see two reasons why men might avoid successful women. An insecure man might see such a woman as a pointer to his failures. Usually we consider success in traditionally man-related spheres, including business and career, and if a man feels he is underperforming there he might avoid a reminder on that in his partner.<br /> <br /> On the other side, extremely confident and successful man would seek someone to complement his life-style, to make his life finished and fulfilled. He usually would seek a feminine, emotionally open woman and overworked, burned-out woman is quite the opposite of that.<br /> <br /> <br /> Next there are women. If a woman achieved success it means she is usually dominant and competitive and usually - against men. There is no way this won`t show in a relationship. In order for this not to have an impact this woman has to find a man with nothing to compete in, like she is a lawyer and he is an enlightened yoga teacher. But this would be an extremely rare match. So usually we would end up with a harsh competitive woman who is not a pleasure to be with especially when you`ve spent your whole day with the people like that. We do not seek women to have a branch of office at home.</div>

 

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[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 128456" data-quote="Maxkaz" data-source="post: 1136955" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136955" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136955">Maxkaz said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I would say, there are two sides here.<br /> <br /> First there are men. I can see two reasons why men might avoid successful women. An insecure man might see such a woman as a pointer to his failures. Usually we consider success in traditionally man-related spheres, including business and career, and if a man feels he is underperforming there he might avoid a reminder on that in his partner.<br /> <br /> On the other side, extremely confident and successful man would seek someone to complement his life-style, to make his life finished and fulfilled. He usually would seek a feminine, emotionally open woman and overworked, burned-out woman is quite the opposite of that.<br /> <br /> <br /> Next there are women. If a woman achieved success it means she is usually dominant and competitive and usually - against men. There is no way this won`t show in a relationship. In order for this not to have an impact this woman has to find a man with nothing to compete in, like she is a lawyer and he is an enlightened yoga teacher. But this would be an extremely rare match. So usually we would end up with a harsh competitive woman who is not a pleasure to be with especially when you`ve spent your whole day with the people like that. We do not seek women to have a branch of office at home. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Tks a million.</div>

 

[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 145510" data-quote="Roby Jordan" data-source="post: 1136953" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136953" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136953">Roby Jordan said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Maybe many men are intimidated by successful women because they assume that they are looking for someone who earns equally or more and has an equal level of value. After all, many women have that preference or requirement. So those women should ask themself if their standards are higher because they are successful or are happy to date a guy of any social standing. If the standards have gone up due to the success then those men might feel that the requirements are too high and they self-reject to avoid losing time to pursue women in doomed relationships unless they feel on the same level. Maybe those women should make clearer their requirements and preferences so men can better consider their chances. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Tk you so much</div>

 

[Reawakened]

<div class="bbWrapper">What would you define as a successful woman? Someone who has climbed the corporate ladder? Someone who has published a book? Someone who has raised 2 amazing kids?<br /> <br /> In my humble opinion, women who refer to themselves as &quot;successful&quot; usually refer to their career success/climbing the corporate ladder and making it into a position of power. From my experience this is closely linked with someone&#039;s &quot;disagreeability&quot; trait - their want/need/willingness to disagree. Unfortunately after succeeding climbing the corporate ladder this trait is reinforced time and time again and the result is a individual who is almost searching for battles. This won&#039;t apply to all &quot;successful&quot; women just as it won&#039;t apply to all &quot;successful&quot; men. But it&#039;s a useful factor to take into account.<br /> <br /> This can then manifest itself in relationships with that person always having to be right and looking for a fight when there isn&#039;t one. And then if they can&#039;t find a fight they complain that the man doesn&#039;t challenge them enough or isn&#039;t passionate enough about things. They believe that everything has to be a battle.<br /> <br /> Now this is quite a blanket statement and I don&#039;t mean it to be. But I would assume that if someone is willing to pay for a dating coach they have already spent the time working out what the goal is, who the target &quot;catch&quot; is, or their ideal man. There is nothing wrong with this but, again, in my humble experience... Women value themselves far higher than men will. They all see themselves as 10s with incredible personality and soooo much to offer - society is at large to blame for this. There is a constant narrative that you determine your own value - sorry, you don&#039;t, others do. You can only sell something for what others are willing to pay.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s like th rule of calculating how many people someone has slept with. Whatever number a man has given you divide by 3 because they want to seem more of a &quot;lad&quot;, whatever a women says multiple by 3 because they don&#039;t want to be seen as a &quot;slut&quot;. <br /> <br /> When it comes to attractiveness you can reduce th number by 2-3 for women and increase it by 2-3 for men. Men always rate themselves lower that others perceived them and women always rate themselves higher. I think this is due to all the self worth bullshit and nonsense being floated around <br /> <br /> I&#039;ve worked with ladies who complain they want a man with a great body (bg shoulders, thick firearms, strong chest), great personality and cash in the bank because they deserve it and are worth that man... While they sit their talking crap about Love Island, eating shit to add to their size 20 frame and spending all their money on random clothes and crap. It&#039;s beyond belief what expectations are now and how men have to work so hard for a women, I wouldn&#039;t be surprised if in 10 years marriage hit the lowest numbers ever because men just can be assed working that hard. But that&#039;s another arguement.<br /> <br /> Just to caveat these statements as I know they could be taken brutally. I see similar expectations from men who want a beautiful wife but I very rarely hear money in the equation, it usually comes to someone who is caring and loving. Someone you can talk with who doesn&#039;t judge you. I also tend to see when men are saying these things they are focusing on improving something about themselves to help win a partner - it could be their appearance (e.g. hitting a gym) or their wealth by looking to earn more.<br /> <br /> Hint: This biggest pain a man has in his life is not being able to talk to someone honestly and openly without fear of judgement or retribution at a later date. (Again this is just my personal view).<br /> <br /> Men are not looking for a push over, or someone to do as they are say, or cook, clean and wipe their a$$. They are looking for a partner, someone who can be equal with them and hold them accountable while also supporting them and being their when we need to throw a paddy and just curse the world.<br /> <br /> I say all this as a man who has been married for 10 years and together for 18. I don&#039;t care about my wife&#039;s &quot;success&quot; in the traditional sense. Her success is that she has raised two incredible children, prevented us from all killing each other, and is the rock of our family. This is clear whenever a child is ill, they want to play with dad because I&#039;m a bit of a daft idiot but as soon as they are ill... All they want is mum! Mum is the bedrock of the family.<br /> <br /> I believe we are successful together because we support each other and neither of us feel the need to be right. It is what it is, if one of us gets something wrong then who cares. It&#039;s not a battle about who is right or who is wrong.<br /> <br /> I&#039;d be interested to hear the different expectations/focus on partners between men and women from your experience as a dating coach.</div>

 

[Kak]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 137164" data-quote="Frances Kelleher" data-source="post: 1136940" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136940" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136940">Frances Kelleher said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey all.hope you are having a great week.<br /> <br /> I need pure honesty here as this keeps coming up and I want to know the truth from the great men here-<br /> <br /> I m a dating coach and I hear women say that men are &quot;intimidated&quot; by successful women.<br /> Is this true that men dont like a women to be more successful than them or earn more money. Pls be brutally honest. It will help dating for men and women!<br /> Tks a million!<br /> Happy dating. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Not necessarily an intimidation thing.<br /> <br /> Success doesn’t matter as long as she didn’t decide she needed to be an insufferable maneater to do it. It’s far more about attitude than success.<br /> <br /> Kind and humble is desirable. Aggressive and bossy isn’t.</div>

 

[Ratchada11]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 137164" data-quote="Frances Kelleher" data-source="post: 1136940" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136940" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136940">Frances Kelleher said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey all.hope you are having a great week.<br /> <br /> I need pure honesty here as this keeps coming up and I want to know the truth from the great men here-<br /> <br /> I m a dating coach and I hear women say that men are &quot;intimidated&quot; by successful women.<br /> Is this true that men dont like a women to be more successful than them or earn more money. Pls be brutally honest. It will help dating for men and women!<br /> Tks a million!<br /> Happy dating. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I have noticed that my behaviour changes the more successful the women is. It&#039;s hard to explain but I guess I pay more attention to what I say. Does that mean I&#039;m intimidated by them I don&#039;t think so. Because I also do that around successful men as well.</div>

 

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[Kevin88660]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 137164" data-quote="Frances Kelleher" data-source="post: 1136940" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136940" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136940">Frances Kelleher said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey all.hope you are having a great week.<br /> <br /> I need pure honesty here as this keeps coming up and I want to know the truth from the great men here-<br /> <br /> I m a dating coach and I hear women say that men are &quot;intimidated&quot; by successful women.<br /> Is this true that men dont like a women to be more successful than them or earn more money. Pls be brutally honest. It will help dating for men and women!<br /> Tks a million!<br /> Happy dating. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>To an extend yes because many men believe that such relationship has a dynamic that is not sustainable.<br /> <br /> Because men believe that their happiness is contingent on them meeting the woman’s expectation.<br /> <br /> She is likely on daily basis meeting men who make more than him in the office, or women, whose boyfriends and husband make more than him.<br /> <br /> The woman can say that she “doesn’t mind” but when things get rough and there is a quarrel there is going to be “why am I with him?” flashing in her mind. Unless there is an equalizer characteristics that the man has that other higher earning men do not. Super good looking or something else.<br /> <br /> But I would say men should not dismiss a woman as a choice just because she makes more than him. Because unless you make absolutely more than her, you can face such issue even when you two make the same or you out-earn her only slightly.<br /> <br /> Men on long term basis do not want to be with women who constantly generate vibes of discontent. They are just looking for ways to avoid that. Nothing is more annoying if you are reminded three times a day why can’t you be like “x,y or z” (in comparison with another man she knows).</div>

 

[G-Man]

<div class="bbWrapper">I’m not interested at all in lonely rich women. Please don’t send me all their contact information and what kind of cologne their dad wore.<br /> <br /> <br /> JKJK. I can’t speak for everyone, but my wife was more successful than me when we got married and it was never an issue. I was unemployed and sleeping on the floor of some random dude off Craigslist’s empty spare room. But she’s also completely insane in all the best possible ways, so YMMV.</div>

 

[Yeti]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 137164" data-quote="Frances Kelleher" data-source="post: 1136940" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136940" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136940">Frances Kelleher said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey all.hope you are having a great week.<br /> <br /> I need pure honesty here as this keeps coming up and I want to know the truth from the great men here-<br /> <br /> I m a dating coach and I hear women say that men are &quot;intimidated&quot; by successful women.<br /> Is this true that men dont like a women to be more successful than them or earn more money. Pls be brutally honest. It will help dating for men and women!<br /> Tks a million!<br /> Happy dating. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Depends, in answering this type of question, I really like to know the context/person.<br /> <br /> I am married for 9 years, 2 kids, in relationship for 13 years.<br /> <br /> Saying that, when I first met my wife, I think she the best women driver I ever met. And I think that is great. I respect that.<br /> <br /> Long story short, she is a career women, and capable. And that gives me some sort peace of mind as in she can take care of herself and my kids if I am not around. <br /> <br /> Yes she has strength and weakness as I also have ton of them. But we shared a lot values early on and still to this day.<br /> <br /> We build each other up, we support each other ambitions.<br /> <br /> As you can imagine, having a partner that is not yet a successful entreprenuer (me) is not an easy task.<br /> <br /> Answering your question, I am not intimidated by succesful women, I respect them, I am happy for them. I appreciate what it takes to be successful.<br /> <br /> But that is not the only thing that make or break the relationship isn&#039;t it?</div>

 

[Reawakened]

<div class="bbWrapper">Just reading back and another point I would ask for clarification on is the term &quot;intimidated&quot;. How is that displayed? Reluctance to engage? Reluctance to make eye contact? Reluctance to speak freely? Reluctance to challenge?<br /> <br /> Intimated is a word I see thrown around as a defence mechanism by so many people. Usually because they are so single minded and unable to listen to others points of views that they have a god complex of sorts. Here is a small example.<br /> <br /> A while ago I was in a room with a few CEO&#039;s and quite powerful people, it was a mix between men and women and a range of ages, industries and backgrounds. There was one person in particular who would resort to talking over other people, shouting them down, and grabbing her phone to google every fact and figure given and then criticising if someone said 11% when it was 10% etc.<br /> <br /> It didn&#039;t take long for the conversation to die out and break into small groups.<br /> <br /> Ironically I heard this lady speaking to another lady saying &quot;These men, they are just intimidated because I&#039;m a powerful woman who knows what she wants and has standards&quot; (or something similar to that) - No Lady - You&#039;re just a dick. You are a grade A a**hole that noone wants to be around or engage with. You dont want equal conversation, you just want to shut people down if they don&#039;t agree with you.<br /> <br /> I&#039;m quite a powerful personality in a room, I have a distinct accent (even for the UK) and my voice is quite deep and naturally carries so I tend to find myself in the middle of conversations if I want to or not. I&#039;m always happy for a decent debate with other people but when I come across people like this I shut down.<br /> <br /> Why would I waste my energy trying to engage when it doesn&#039;t matter what I say, you are not going to listen, and you are not going to actually address my points.<br /> <br /> Don&#039;t confuse being intimated by you with someone not engaging because you are a knob.</div>

 

[MitchC]

<div class="bbWrapper">I’m curious what type of man/relationship these women are looking for? <br /> <br /> Are they looking for someone successful too?<br /> <br /> Do they want kids?<br /> <br /> Are they looking for a man to stay home and look after them? <br /> <br /> As for the question, I think you got a good summary of my thoughts in the other posts here <br /> <br /> I don’t care, if anything it’s a negative <br /> <br /> The fact they describe themselves as successful because they have a good career is one reason<br /> <br /> Thinking men might be intimidated by them rather than just not interested is another</div>

 

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[S.Y.]

<div class="bbWrapper">Agree with <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/22018/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="22018" data-username="@MitchC">@MitchC</a><br /> <br /> Words matter - even more so in the dating world.<br /> <br /> &quot;successful&quot; women saying that men are intimidated by them is a red flag.<br /> <br /> Why default to &quot;men being intimidated&quot;? Kinda implies a holier than thou<br /> <br /> <i>some</i> men might be intimidated by them. <i>Most</i> men are just not interested by them. That should be a hint that those women are not understanding what the men they want are attracted by.<br /> <br /> Assuming success means career wise, for most men it is not a criteria as important as women tend to make it to be. <br /> <br /> Make me think of the below. If this is what those women are thinking, oh well<br /> <br /> <div class="bbMediaWrapper" data-media-site-id="youtube" data-media-key="iQ6Nrv-xajA"> <div class="bbMediaWrapper-inner"> <iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iQ6Nrv-xajA?wmode=opaque" loading="lazy" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> </div> </div><i><span style="font-size: 10px"><a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ6Nrv-xajA&amp;pp=ygUfTmV3cyB3b21hbiBnZXR0aW5nIG93bmVyIGRhdGluZw%3D%3D" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ6Nrv-xajA&amp;pp=ygUfTmV3cyB3b21hbiBnZXR0aW5nIG93bmVyIGRhdGluZw%3D%3D</a></span></i><br /> <br /> Actually <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/137164/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="137164" data-username="@Frances Kelleher">@Frances Kelleher</a>, how important do you think women&#039;s career success is for men in general?</div>

 

[REV5028]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 22018" data-quote="MitchC" data-source="post: 1136996" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136996" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136996">MitchC said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> The fact they describe themselves as successful because they have a good career is one reason </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Is it really just the fact that they describe themselves as being successful because of their career, or is it the way they talk about it? Should a woman not feel successful because she has a good career?</div>

 

[DareDevil]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 137164" data-quote="Frances Kelleher" data-source="post: 1136940" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1136940" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1136940">Frances Kelleher said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey all.hope you are having a great week.<br /> <br /> I need pure honesty here as this keeps coming up and I want to know the truth from the great men here-<br /> <br /> I m a dating coach and I hear women say that men are &quot;intimidated&quot; by successful women.<br /> Is this true that men dont like a women to be more successful than them or earn more money. Pls be brutally honest. It will help dating for men and women!<br /> Tks a million!<br /> Happy dating. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>What do you men want?<br /> 1. A woman who understands him<br /> 2. Loves to listen to him when he speaks about his career, business, difficulties and insecurities<br /> 3. Apprecites his friends and his jokes<br /> 4. Good with kids brightens their day<br /> 5. can be independent when required<br /> 6. Respect him and his choices when conflicted provides her choice but also understanding where<br /> his man&#039;s thinking is coming from<br /> <b>Note</b><br /> 1. Money is part of when a man&#039;s natural role as a provider kicks in, he feels happy providing and<br /> taking care of you <br /> I tried to answer to the best of my ability and experience</div>

 

[MitchC]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 115542" data-quote="REV5028" data-source="post: 1137015" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1137015" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1137015">REV5028 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Is it really just the fact that they describe themselves as being successful because of their career, or is it the way they talk about it? Should a woman not feel successful because she has a good career? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>It’s the fact that being successful to them is defined by career success, that’s not a focus I am looking for in a partner. I didn’t say they shouldn’t feel successful because they have a good career, if they are successful and feel successful because of it I’m happy for them <br /> <br /> I said I don’t care when looking for a partner, if anything it’s a negative <br /> <br /> This person could be successful in their career, it’s probably more likely than that they would be struggling, I just think having their career define success to them is not the focus I would want my partner to have</div>

 

[REV5028]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 22018" data-quote="MitchC" data-source="post: 1137017" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1137017" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1137017">MitchC said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> It’s the fact that being successful to them is defined by career success, that’s not a focus I am looking for in a partner. I didn’t say they shouldn’t feel successful because they have a good career, if they are successful and feel successful because of it I’m happy for them<br /> <br /> I said I don’t care when looking for a partner, if anything it’s a negative<br /> <br /> This person could be successful in their career, it’s probably more likely than that they would be struggling, I just think having their career define success to them is not the focus I would want my partner to have </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I see. Thanks for clarifying.</div>

 

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[MitchC]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 115542" data-quote="REV5028" data-source="post: 1137020" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1137020" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1137020">REV5028 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I see. Thanks for clarifying. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Also I have been in a relationship with my wife for 10 years so maybe I’m out of touch with what I would actually value if looking for someone <br /> <br /> Maybe a successful women would sweep me off my feet, I really don’t know, like someone above said there’s a hell of a lot more to attraction than this or that particular quality</div>

 

[Frances Kelleher]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 125950" data-quote="Rage&amp;Guts" data-source="post: 1137016" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1137016" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1137016">Rage&amp;Guts said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> What do you men want?<br /> 1. A woman who understands him<br /> 2. Loves to listen to him when he speaks about his career, business, difficulties and insecurities<br /> 3. Apprecites his friends and his jokes<br /> 4. Good with kids brightens their day<br /> 5. can be independent when required<br /> 6. Respect him and his choices when conflicted provides her choice but also understanding where<br /> his man&#039;s thinking is coming from<br /> <b>Note</b><br /> 1. Money is part of when a man&#039;s natural role as a provider kicks in, he feels happy providing and<br /> taking care of you <br /> I tried to answer to the best of my ability and experience </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>This is fantastic, tks so much!</div>

 

[Spenny]

<div class="bbWrapper">Lots of great things have been said, but one thing I constantly scan for is conflict resolution. If early on, I can&#039;t talk to you about a problem, or you shut it down, or you find a petty way to argue, <b>I&#039;m out</b>. I cannot be bothered to bicker &amp; not get to a resolution quickly, especially if we have kids in the picture. I prefer to be alone, as there&#039;ll be people who don&#039;t use me as a doormat.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s been mentioned, but I find &quot;career being intimidating&quot; is usually used as a scapegoat for bad behaviour. I couldn&#039;t care less if you&#039;re a friend or a lover. I won&#039;t be sticking around if your vibe is shocking, if you treat me poorly or if you&#039;re not fun to be around.<br /> <br /> <hr /><br /> How do you fix that? I suspect it takes some self-awareness, a lower focus on &quot;me, me, me&quot; &amp; asking what I can provide.<br /> <br /> A few years ago, I wrote down all of the characteristics of my &quot;dream girl,&quot; including her mannerisms, what she liked to do, and what she wanted out of a relationship. I then crossed out the &quot;dream girl&quot; at the top and put &quot;me.&quot; Who would have thought once I started aligning myself and doing things this girl would be doing, not only I&#039;d begin being around girls like this, but my relationship with friends would upgrade in quality, too?<br /> <br /> An excellent book I&#039;d also recommend is Models by Mark Manson. It&#039;s orientated towards men, but women can also get much value. It&#039;s a manual on approaching dating in the 21st century.<br /> <br /> Another tip I&#039;d give is to stay away from dating apps. They treat people like pieces of meat. You have no idea if you&#039;ll like the person when you talk to them; your only criteria are their looks, and you have no romantic build-up. Good for the short term, bad for the long term. I feel it ruins the fabric of meeting someone and checking all the prerequisite criteria before the date occurs. The vibe is a significant component of attraction, and you cannot get that from a dating app. You get that from knowing the person beforehand.<br /> <br /> Anecdotally, both men and women I know who go to dating apps end up jaded and feeling used on the other side—I think picking up a hobby and finding someone there is a better use of time.</div>

 

[REV5028]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 22018" data-quote="MitchC" data-source="post: 1137021" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1137021" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1137021">MitchC said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Also I have been in a relationship with my wife for 10 years so maybe I’m out of touch with what I would actually value if looking for someone<br /> <br /> Maybe a successful women would sweep me off my feet, I really don’t know, like someone above said there’s a hell of a lot more to attraction than this or that particular quality </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>That&#039;s an insightful reflection, thanks for sharing. I hope you don&#039;t find yourself in the dating pool anytime soon to find the answers to those questions!<br /> <br /> I&#039;ve been trying to share my experiences in reference to the initial question of this thread, but it&#039;s been difficult because of how complex attraction is. So here&#039;s my best attempt for this time of night.<br /> <br /> I don&#039;t often feel accomplished, so when I talk about my degrees or hobbies or business I stick to the facts. I even try to downplay them sometimes and change the topic. Idk why, probably lack of confidence or because I don&#039;t like attention. Anyway, I&#039;ve been in situations where people (even in non-dating scenarios) have expressed their thoughts and feelings of inadequacy or shame or some other negative feeling and it has been hard to turn it around from that. I don&#039;t know that I&#039;d call it intimidation, but maybe it&#039;s just incompatibility or insecurities of the other person? <br /> <br /> Actually, in typing this it&#039;s reminding me of when i got to climb with Alex Honnold for a day. He talked about climbing things that had my jaw on the ground, yet he didn&#039;t think it was a big deal. I was awestruck and I found it hard to relate because he&#039;s just on a different level. And at the time the only thing we had in common was climbing - it was hard to relate even on the one thing we had in common. So I suppose if all you have in common with someone beyond just being a decent person is some sort of career or schooling or something else perceived as successful, but you seem to have done the equivalent of climb El Capitan without ropes and the person sitting across from you had done the equivalent of climbing a 40 foot 5.9 with ropes, then I can see how someone might feel intimidated or come across as feeling that way, when really it&#039;s just that they can&#039;t relate even when it&#039;s about the same topic. And the big successful things can eclipse the other things you might have in common. Looking back, I could have asked him about books he was reading or the other causes he cares about, but I was too focused on the climbing.</div>