I am buying a new bugatti. And i will post pics.

[Ubermensch]

Sir Uber I do hope you achieve your goal, I honestly do but isn't it empty inside if you achieve a goal out of revenge or self-fulfillment?

All great success stories I read in this forum focuses on others first before themselves. Sad to say I also know people who got their success out of proving themselves and at the end they all asked "...is this it? Now what?"

I think a lot of desire for revenge disappears after the original insult or injury has long passed. After the event that inspires vengeance passes, it's easy to remember months or even years after the fact. This is what Hannibal meant when he said that vengeance requires a long sword and a long memory.

It is so clear to me right now that money is the only thing that matters in life that no one could ever convince me otherwise. I wholeheartedly dismiss the notion that there are other more important pursuits in life. Sure, you could say family or some sort of hobby, but how well is your family going to do without a roof over their heads and food in their bellies? For that matter, how long do you think you will even have a family, with no money to support them?

We've been trained to believe some funny stuff in America. I won't get into the details now, but I am fed up. With life. Fed up with life, and the way things are. I am up to my neck in bullshit.

I have put everything into my current venture. And I'm not just talking money, time, attention, love, sweat, and passion. I am completely obsessed with my hustle.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't see the alternative. Sun-Tzu says that once you put yourself on death ground, you ensure victory. For me, death ground is putting myself in a situation to which death is preferable. Without a doubt, I say that if my current status were permanent, I would probably strongly consider suicide.

Sometimes, life hits so hard that you can't help but fall down. No homo, but I think it hurts the most when the attacks come from the rear. Your friends, your loved ones, these people know how to hurt you the most. Some of them are quite blatantly against you and want you to fail. Others say they want to see you in Forbes, but bring so much negative energy and talk into your life that it seems impossible that they want you to succeed.

This is why I love money, even though it seems like everyone thinks loving money is a bad idea.

But money doesn't lie to you. Money doesn't do and say things to hurt you, but it can surround you with a whole bunch of people who will make you feel good. Money doesn't support you one day, and then tear you down in the next moment.

The reason I am the way that I am, the reason I focus so intensely on money, is I have felt the pain of doing anything less.

This is going to be an interesting experiment. What happens when all you do is focus on money?

Does the pain go away?

Time will tell.

For clarification, I'll elaborate on the concept of loving money and personal attitude. I think your environment shapes you. Imagine you have ungrateful people in your life, blaming you for all of their problems, and taking no responsibility for the negative aspects of their lives. They think that all they do is positive, and all you do is negative. They insult you, and diminish your goals, and everything in important to you. They do this, because they are not happy with their own lives, and they attack you to make themselves feel better.

How would you deal with such a person?

Unless you've dealt with such a person in the past, and have had your emotions engaged, you probably don't know how you'd deal with a person - or people - like this. My point is that I think money is the only salvation in a situation like this. Some people don't respect anything other than power. So, if you don't have any power - or money - there is a good chance that person will mistreat you. People like this are not "good," they don't do what's "right." They're always demanding something from you, and even when you give it to them, they act like you never gave them anything. The tragic irony of dealing with people like this is that the true escape is money - leave the state, live somewhere new, leave the country! - and people like this make making money so god damn difficult.

Their negativity makes creative thinking difficult. Their emotional guilt trips and continuous ungratefulness eventually gets under your skin and makes it easier to fall into depression than work to get out of the situation.

Okay. I have painted a pretty extreme picture, and my point in doing so is to try to kind of put you in the shoes of someone who deals with an extremely negative person or people. Could be a boss. Could be a spouse. Could be a business partner.

The point is that the escape from all this is money. New life. New everything.

 

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[YMCMB]

 

[Zac Headrick]

But money doesn't lie to you. Money doesn't do and say things to hurt you, but it can surround you with a whole bunch of people who will make you feel good. Money doesn't support you one day, and then tear you down in the next moment.

A lot of pain in these words bro. Money can't solve these problems, it never will.

If you ever want to talk through some of these stuff send me a message. The path your going down is not the fastlane though my friend.

-Zac

 

[Ubermensch]

A lot of pain in these words bro. Money can't solve these problems, it never will.

That's what the pain pills and alcohol are for, broski. At least until the money comes. Lol.

You're not the first person to tell me that money doesn't fix everything, or that money doesn't buy happiness. I think a better way to say it is that money doesn't guarantee happiness.

I don't know, man. Maybe I'm just made differently, or made from different stuff. 50 Cent says he has a unique "ambition gene." Perhaps I have something like this... I think it's a blessing and a curse... one that I would never do without.

I say it's a curse, because the way I look at the world basically means not having money is impossible. I can't live without it. The usual things that keep people fulfilled do not fulfill me.

Love and God are dead, as Nietzsche put it.

I guess the point is that "get rich or die tryin'" is an excellent motto. Because life doesn't matter without money. You'd think that on this site, people would get that...

If I didn't know - and I mean really... really know - that I'm about to have stacks and stacks of cash like the one in YMCB's last post, then I would probably kill people. Would probably pull up outside of that corporate office right NOW and start lettin' off shots, starting with the owner of the bright red Maseratti.

Damn. Maybe getting a Super Car isn't a good idea. lmfao

 

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[davedev]

That's what the pain pills and alcohol are for, broski. At least until the money comes. Lol.

Uh oh.

Here's a better path. As soon as you can, pick up and read Psycho-Cybernetics.

 

[Tommy92l]

Besides financial security, I thought most of us were here for the achievement of success in general. Knowing you created something, living that surreal moment.

I mean, I know money is hugely important, but saying that you'd rather have it without the trial and error, and long journey just wouldn't be rewarding.

 

[PeteLife]

That's what the pain pills and alcohol are for, broski.

If I didn't know - and I mean really... really know - that I'm about to have stacks and stacks of cash like the one in YMCB's last post, then I would probably kill people. Would probably pull up outside of that corporate office right NOW and start lettin' off shots, starting with the owner of the bright red Maseratti.

I dont know what you been through in life but it seems like you are very unstable at the moment. Speaking about killing people (whether its a joke or not) is serious matter and one that should not be ignored. Take some time to yourself and just reflect on the positive things in life. Forget about the Money for a sec and get yourself together. I think your quest to be this super rich guy with a bugatti is blinding you from reality. DOn't let your desire for money drag you down the wrong path.

I wish you the best! If you need someone to talk to just sent a PM.

 

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[Ubermensch]

It's not the money per se, bro, although that is the ultimate driving force behind what I do. Ultimately, though, the money is on its way because I truly love what I do.

My experience of life right now is that of varying degrees of emotional and psychological pain. My grandparents are aging and sick, and a bunch of other personal BS that I won't get into now. Sometimes, the pain - which is often infused with intense anger - gets to a seemingly unbearable level, and that is usually when I have the urge to post here. I do not always act on the urge, but yesterday and today I did.

It's not really, really the money though. I've said before that if I had the choice of winning the lottery for $200M or making my own $20M, I would opt for the latter. For me, it's the love of the process. It's knowing that no matter what some hatin' a$$ bitch, or some know-nothing critic said, I am love with the steps involved to getting to the end. It's all about the journey.

Sometimes, on that journey, it's damn tough though.

 

[SuiFeng]

I think you secretly love the way you suffer man.

Change the attitude. React to negativism from other people with a wave of your own positivism.

 

[Fastlane Fire]

I see a lot of me in you. I too post here when I'm on emotional highs and lows. I also fixate on the negative in a rather destructive and dysfunctional way. I used to have the same 'car-focused' goal (911 GT3RS or Gallardo as of late) but the point is, I had that goal for YEARS with zero idea of how to get from A to Z. I was too focused on my needs and my wants. But guess what? The world doesn't care if you want a new Bugatti, it doesn't care if I want a Lamborghini. By focusing on only your problems you are limiting yourself greatly, essentially narrowing your vision.
I used to walk around with a pissed off face because of an ex or some other random problem and guess what? People avoided me like the plague. No one wanted to strike up a conversation with me, thats for sure. Point is, that while you are sitting there with this Scarface fantasy stuck in your brain, people are avoiding you. People on this forum, people in real life. If the only thing you can bring to the table is your desire for money then you my friend, are a shitty business partner. Scrap the money dreams and build up your skill-set and consistency. The money will follow.

I wrote a goal for myself the other day I think may apply to you.

Stop focusing on MY needs.

 

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[Ubermensch]

The only person's needs you mentioned in your post were your own, so unless you're planning on cutting yourself a check for 1.5M+%T&T I think you need a plan B.

This thread isn't a detailed explanation or analysis of the way for me to make money. Rather, I wrote it at a time when I had so much on my chest that I had to get something off of it. Normally, I am able to slip past negative emotions, but I have a particular struggle going on in my life right now that demands every iota of patience in me.

Over the past week and a half, I made very substantial progress, but this progress has been accompanied by some of the most debilitating emotional situations. Sometimes, I feel paralyzed, like I don't have enough in me to make it another day, or even make it one more step.

Yet, somehow, I have the sense that all of this is necessary, that every person in my life is in it for a reason, that everything that happened - the good, the bad, the ugly - was transpired to teach me a lesson. Maybe the lesson was to get what I need from Source B, when Source A stops showing love. Maybe the lesson was to harden myself on the inside, and protect myself from all sorts of attacks from people both in my person life and my business career.

I started focusing on the positive in my life, and - wouldn't you know it - the positive seems to outweigh the negative. I've noticed that what I want from one person can be gotten from another person. This sounds like a very basic concept, and it is, but its applications are infinite and you can get pretty creative and imaginative...

 

[mlk]

I started focusing on the positive in my life, and - wouldn't you know it - the positive seems to outweigh the negative. I've noticed that what I want from one person can be gotten from another person. This sounds like a very basic concept, and it is, but its applications are infinite and you can get pretty creative and imaginative...

This is a shot into the blue, but maybe this applies to your situation. Otherwise, ignore.

 

[Ubermensch]

Big declarations mean nothing. Big action is impressive. Time will tell.

Action is like a wordless argument, something that can silence critics and haters alike. I'm going to keep it all the way real. My life would SUCK if I didn't have an opportunity for revenge. And of course, success is the best revenge. I am reminded of one of Dr. HAHA Lung's witticisms about Musashi...

It's time to either put up or shut up.

Make it happen. Looking forward to your victory pictures.

This is my favorite post in the entire thread. It's both a challenge, and a call to action, almost like you're rooting for me. I need that, bro. I can only imagine what my mindset would be if I received a constant, steady flow of positive encouragement. Shit, maybe I wouldn't be as far along as I am, or wouldn't do anything nearly as big.

It's the starvation that keeps me hungry...

 

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[CommonCents]

the point is that "get rich or die tryin'" is an excellent motto. Because life doesn't matter without money. You'd think that on this site, people would get that...

If I didn't know - and I mean really... really know - that I'm about to have stacks and stacks of cash like the one in YMCB's last post, then I would probably kill people. Would probably pull up outside of that corporate office right NOW and start lettin' off shots, starting with the owner of the bright red Maseratti.

Damn. Maybe getting a Super Car isn't a good idea. lmfao

You need help. There is nothing funny about considering killing people. Get rich or die tryin? That's for idiotic lyrics and fantasy movies, not real life.

Anger and revenge especially at the levels expressed, is very destructive and not motivational in the least. You have crossed the line.

"starvation" another form of negativity and punishment. Not motivational, not constructive. You are hung up on short term negative 'motivation'. Starvation, anger, revenge. All destructive.

You will never get where you want to be and achieve happiness until you deal with your anger. Period. Wish you the best but don't ignore this.

 

[AubreyJ]

I am no expert, but in my opinion you are on a dangerous path. You need to change your mindset, and you need to do it sooner rather than later. Using drugs, alcohol, or even money as an escape from reality is how you become an alcoholic, a drug addict, or bankrupt. There are so many different things that you have said on this thread that lead me to believe that you are pretty mentally unstable or very immature, and I think that you need to reevaluate your life before even considering getting a Bugatti.

And as far as your need to shove success in everyones face, I am going to tell you what my dad told me and I now live by it: "work hard in silence and let success make the noise." (I believe this is a quote from a book, I don't know who to credit for it though.)

 

[Ubermensch]

In one of his books on Mind Control - I think it was either Mind Control, The Ancient Art of Psychological Warfare OR Lost Arts of War, Ancient Secrets of Strategy and Mind Control - Dr. HAHA Lung states that the tones and sounds of music has psychological effects.

People live different lives. My life is different than yours. We - and this goes for everyone that has posted in this thread - likely have had vastly different experiences.

I post here when I take a break from a hustle that, irrespective of what anyone here says, is going to provide an immense and shocking amount of revenge. It is the anger and rage of moments like this one right now that drive me towards the money. I post here to describe the nature of my rage, to expose it, give it a chance to say hello to the world.

Logically, there are only two scenarios playing themselves out in this thread:

1) None of you know what it's like to be as angry as I am (angry enough to at least imagine what it would be like to have someone killed), in the particular way that I am angry ("some things you just can't let go," in the words of Dr. HAHA Lung). In this case, none of you can possibly expect to get why $$$ is the ultimate payback.

2) Some of you know what it's like to be as angry as I am, and for some reason I'm unaware of it. I haven't exactly seen anyone on this thread expressing themselves quite the way I do. No one else out there with a psychotic love for money, and an unrelenting belief that getting piles of it means you get to step on the throats of your enemies?

No one else out there feels Meek Mill when he said "Hater rest in peace, rest in peace in the parking lot... Phantom so big it can't even fit in the parking spot"?'

Perhaps some of you have been as angry as me, but you have different outlets. Perhaps you're religious, or maybe you have a supportive wife, loving children, or a dog.

I don't have any of that, so it seems to me - from a practical perspective - my path is set.

 

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[throttleforward]

How much money will be enough? And when you get there, what will you feel? Are you going to pack it in and sit on your a$$ for the rest of your life, having gotten some sort of revenge? I suspect that you'll be miserable, because no amount of money will be enough. You'll be one of those rich people who hate their lives and aren't satisfied with anything, including your supportive wife, children and dog.

 

[oldscool]

How much longer do we have to wait for those pics?

 

[eqttrdr]

All I want to do is make money. It's the only thing that matters

sorry but this worries me...

where are our priorities in this world?

 

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[pro]

 

[firmwear]

I post here when I take a break from a hustle that, irrespective of what anyone here says, is going to provide an immense and shocking amount of revenge. It is the anger and rage of moments like this one right now that drive me towards the money. I post here to describe the nature of my rage, to expose it, give it a chance to say hello to the world.

Nobody cares about your rage. People are here to learn about process. Get over yourself already.

1) None of you know what it's like to be as angry as I am (angry enough to at least imagine what it would be like to have someone killed), in the particular way that I am angry ("some things you just can't let go," in the words of Dr. HAHA Lung). In this case, none of you can possibly expect to get why $$$ is the ultimate payback.

The last thing you need right now is a haha-doctor.

You need a real doctor, and a checkup from the neck-up. If you are thinking about "having somebody killed" because you are angry (I read this entire waste of a thread and still cannot fathom why), then urine big trouble, Lucy.

2) Some of you know what it's like to be as angry as I am, and for some reason I'm unaware of it. I haven't exactly seen anyone on this thread expressing themselves quite the way I do. No one else out there with a psychotic love for money, and an unrelenting belief that getting piles of it means you get to step on the throats of your enemies?

No one else out there feels Meek Mill when he said "Hater rest in peace, rest in peace in the parking lot... Phantom so big it can't even fit in the parking spot"?'

Yeah, like I said, I cannot understand your anger, I do not really care at this point either.

What I do know is that if I saw you or Meek-whatever in the parking lot, I would beat a path through the bushes just to steer clear of you. I suspect that is pretty close to how most people treat you in real life anyway.

Perhaps some of you have been as angry as me, but you have different outlets. Perhaps you're religious, or maybe you have a supportive wife, loving children, or a dog.

I don't have any of that, so it seems to me - from a practical perspective - my path is set.

With a name like Ubermunch, I do not see a whole lotta' uber, dude.

Seek professional help.

 

[liquidglass]

That's what the pain pills and alcohol are for, broski. At least until the money comes. Lol.

If you're in love with the process, then why are you trying to dull your senses and intelligence while going through it? If you ignore the pain it never goes away. You must deal with it and release it.

If I didn't know - and I mean really... really know - that I'm about to have stacks and stacks of cash like the one in YMCB's last post, then I would probably kill people. Would probably pull up outside of that corporate office right NOW and start lettin' off shots, starting with the owner of the bright red Maseratti.

Damn. Maybe getting a Super Car isn't a good idea. lmfao

Aside from the obvious psychological issues presented here all I see is someone who's Jealous and Entitled. So if you didn't think you could achieve it then you're going to kill other people who have achieved what you want? In what world does that make sense?

I post here to describe the nature of my rage, to expose it, give it a chance to say hello to the world.

Logically, there are only two scenarios playing themselves out in this thread:

1) None of you know what it's like to be as angry as I am (angry enough to at least imagine what it would be like to have someone killed), in the particular way that I am angry ("some things you just can't let go," in the words of Dr. HAHA Lung). In this case, none of you can possibly expect to get why $$$ is the ultimate payback.

2) Some of you know what it's like to be as angry as I am, and for some reason I'm unaware of it. I haven't exactly seen anyone on this thread expressing themselves quite the way I do. No one else out there with a psychotic love for money, and an unrelenting belief that getting piles of it means you get to step on the throats of your enemies?
.

- If you nurture your 'rage' then you're only encouraging that mentality and activity and you'll never change.

- Dr. Lung would be incorrect in saying "some things you just can't let go" you can let go or embrace anything you chose, that's the wonderful power of minds. If you think you're being held hostage by past experiences and you don't break free because you can't move on, you'll never be successful.

I haven't exactly seen anyone on this thread expressing themselves quite the way I do.

So you're seeing posts all over this forum from successful people who may be wealthier than you and none of them express themselves the same way you do. If we're talking logic that should set off a flag in your head that perhaps the problem isn't with how they express themselves but it lies with you instead.

 

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[Sean Corroon]

[video=youtube;DeG9Gl00K1w]

https://www.facebook.com/DxbPoliceC...3.1073741828.461098347307004/585617418188429/

I saw that bugatti the other day at dubai mall

 

[Formless]

Ubermensch, I had a long-a$$ response written to you, then I deleted it because it got personal. In a nutshell, I think I know how you feel. And this feeling is addictive. And it will erode you.

- You think that pain is a pre-requisite to pleasure
- You think there's something noble in suffering
- You think that enjoyment of life is laziness
- Your mind constantly fluctuates between happy & sad. you are not grounded. One thing I say could change your opinion for 3 days. You'll apply it for 3 days, then you'll quit, resent the method, and try something else. Eventually you'll start thinking that everything you do is F*cking impossible (even though you're not actually doing that much)
- You think that you are fighting real, tangible 'enemies'. While most of those 'enemies' are merely your projections of self. You are TERRIFIED.
- You are addicted to the melancholic/suffering feeling



Money is absolutely important. Money buys freedom. Anyone on this website who criticizes the pursuit of money is a hypocrite, because we are a collective of people who (thanks to MJ and the like) understand that the fastest way to it is to follow Fastlane rules. But you will not get it in your state, because your state does not allow you to have faith in the process. Make no mistake, money is ABSOLUTELY A TOOL, what feeling do you want it to give you? Power? Power over others? Personal power? Peace? Freedom? Choice? Toys?


I know that in retrospect, everyone likes to talk about reaching success/happiness like it was the most painful, horrible, difficult and soul-testing task ever. Because that shows strength, perseverance etc. All the things that make the ego feel good.

But I'm convinced that 80% of it is supposed to be uncomfortably fun and fulfilling. The 'pain' & 'struggle' are a minority. Because those things are mostly in your mind.

MJ, a MULTIMILLIONAIRE made a post somewhere on the forum some time ago, where he was nostalgic about THIS SO CALLED 'GRIND'. Because of how cool it is to be so laser-focused on something. How the fact that you're in a room with a mattress a phone and a computer doesn't matter. Because you are on a path, and your life is brimming with meaning.

I saw you used the word Musashi somewhere, so let me leave you with a Musashi quote.

“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.”

How to practically do this?

- No more negative music or movies or books
- Consume less media. Open one tab. Sit without any media on for a bit every day.
- Go outside, walk a bit every-day.
- Meditate for 8 minutes a day, escalate when it feels comfortable.
- Limit or eliminate sugars and high glycemic load & high glycemic index carbs from your diet. Especially before accomplishing tasks. Do cheat-days every week if you wish.
- Train/exercise regularly.
- Find the source of your pains. With paper. What is making me feel this this and this. Dig deep.
- Let go of this 'tension' consciously. Meditation will help you realize this 'tension'. It's in your mind, and it's in your body. It feels like a tiny adrenaline rush in your stomach/lower chest area, and chances are you live with this feeling.
- Find a process while grounding yourself, and pursue it.
- Re-frame concepts you think negatively about. I HATE the words 'work' and 'grind' so I use 'journey.' Ultimately, I'll end up doing the same quantity of 'STUFF' that the guy who calls it 'work' & 'grind' does. But I don't like the frame. 'Grind' make me think of the days I was forced into the choir and missed out on my childhood and sleep singing stupid classical music to old people who looked at me like a chimp at a zoo-exhibition, because I was the only foreign kid in the choir.

Go find Zen's posts. Go find IceCreamKid's posts. Go and especially find SteveO's mindset posts. This perpetual tension you feel is a matter of choice and practice. Your addiction to suffering is a matter of choice and practice. Choose different, practice different, live different.

Oh my, this ended up being much longer than I anticipated.

 

[RogueInnovation]

Cool post @Formless

Most of what got me over that annoying abrasive to everyone phase was
a) Not taking stuff personal, and not asking to get paid in affection, attention, etc (getting over oneself)
b) Accepting my responsibility (to myself, to others etc)
c) Shutting up when I caught myself being too dumb, trying to concentrate when there was something said that had hidden meaning or value
d) Working harder than my brain spasms, in order to actually get towards some semblance of rational thought (rather than justified thought)

Silly brain.
Nowadays, I just see no reason to give anyone shit.

Its not like there is a poll on whether you can act or not. You make that decision, and you have to learn to not diffuse the level of choice by psychologically involving others in your plans.

If I am a millionaire and you ask me permission to make a million dollars, my response is "who the f#ck is this guy", not because I am testing to see if he is worthy of my permission, but because its crazy to think that you get a million dollars THROUGH permission. Time wise, you need a whole bunch of skills, and the longer you are angry, the less you are productive and effective. So it is always a good rule of thumb to avoid the whole permission conversation and move onto ACTUAL business.

as hard as that is

 

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[Sean Corroon]

Nice whip, bro. Yours is the one in your avatar?

My pics are coming soon. I'm about to kill my game. I figure since I'm full of murderous intentions - and can't do anything about it - I might as well take out my desire for violence on a marketplace.

Lol. This site is an interesting place. I remember posting around here when the loneliness and depression was really gettin' to me. I got some positive responses here and there (shout out to Steele Concept), but nothing like when Ubermensch started unleashing death threats. Then everyone got their panties in a bunch. Haha. Go figure.

It's all good, though. At the end of the day, I practice what MJ preaches. I don't waste time on social media like most brain dead Amuricans. For the past year, I took everything I had - all my time and all of my money - and fired it all at the target that I'm about to hit right in the bull's eye.

I actually remember exactly what happened the morning I decided to post this... what inspired this thread. It's funny looking back on it, knowing what's about to happen.

Steele Concept tells me not to post when I'm angry, because "people will think you're crazy." Ha, maybe, bro! But if anyone went through what I've went through, and put up with what I've had to put up with, they'd probably be crazy, too. And besides, at the end of the day, all I'm focused is leaving the game black and blue. All I'm focused on is making so much money that I can rub it in everybody's faces...

Lol, come on Fastlane... trust me. I'm gonna make ya'll love me. From MJ to all the females who I pissed off a few months ago. You're watching a star in the making here. And the sick part is you're literally watching me predict it all before it happens. I'm gonna bring the rain. You're gonna see me stuntin' in cities all over America. Nothing's ever been done like this before.

History in the making. Just stay tuned. Just keep watching.

"Like my spring break trip, to know and drive “the road to wealth” is not enough because the road itself is deficient in delivering wealth. Your pursuit of wealth stalls when your focus is the road and its destination, and not the roadtrip." - MJ DeMarco

 

[MJ DeMarco]

NEWSFLASH: If you're a miserable person when you're broke, you'll be a miserable person when you're rich. Unfortunately some will need to walk through the fire for themselves before they feel the burn of this truth.

 

[Ubermensch]

I am not in the mood to read through all of the responses.

One of my friends is an alcoholic. In many ways, I look up to this guy. He has gone so far in life, a multi-millionaire in his mid-twenties, traveling the world, etc.

But the guy has been through hell, and it shows. He was once in perfect shape, and now he is 40 - 50 pounds overweight. He drinks right when he wakes up.

I guess it's hard when you see that, because when you see it, it almost seems like drinking is okay. Especially when the guy drinking is feeling the same pain I am.

I've definitely had my moments of weakness, hospitalized three times for overdosing on sleeping pills. It's not that I wanted to go to sleep forever... I just wanted the pain to go away.

As I write this, I'm looking for something - anything - to help me break through the darkness, almost like I'm attempting to write my way out of this predicament I'm in.

I think what's important is that I make it through tonight. It almost feels as though this moment is a test. The last time I felt pain like this, from a moment like this, my solution wound me up in the emergency room.

Just to keep it all the way real right now, I promise I'm not doing this for the attention. Guess it could seem like that to some, but to be honest, I'll probably regret posting this in the morning. I mean, it's not exactly like all of the responses of have been Pro-Ubermesnch. Lol.

Yea, to be perfectly honest, a few moments ago, I was in the sort of pain that would normally inspire me to do something pretty dumb. Instead, I decided to take a deep breath, and come to my sanctuary. Kind of odd to call such a public forum my sanctuary. My posts aren't really relevant here, at least not from a practical business sense.

This post, really, is just about me getting through the night. So, if you've ever felt soul-crushing loneliness - or if you were ever in so much pain that it felt like one second equaled one year - then maybe this post is relevant to you. Particularly if you're having kind of "this would all be better if I just went to sleep" thoughts.

I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I definitely can't sleep in pain. But, weirdly enough, typing this post is helping the pain go away. I don't know what told me - in the midst of the tears - to start typing a post here, but it felt almost like an instinct.

On a side note, don't make the mistake of thinking things aren't going well with business. They are. Contracts are being signed, income is on the way, etc, etc. The pain I feel actually has nothing to do with business.

In a way, I feel like I brought all of this on myself. I get all the credit and/or blame for the good and/or bad in my life.

This definitely feels like a test, one that will give me great pride in the future to look back on and know that I passed it. The test is just to see if I can get through the night.

This is a good environment for evolution, a situation that forces change, no matter how bad it hurts, no matter how much I complain about it.

From skimming through the responses - just a cursory glance at the posts - the verdict seems to be in that I'm crazy. Yea. Probably. Maybe I screwed up somewhere. Hm. Maybe I WAS too obsessed with money, with my current plan to get it. But the beginning has begun already, so why not at least see what happens? At the very least, let's see if the checks and deposits start coming in as fast as I expect. Let's see if those checks and deposits are as large as I have negotiated for them to be.

Because... at a certain point, a point is made, is it not? I mean, can't you...

Get to a point of mastery with your craft that you can call yourself a God? There's an interesting quote out there and it says: He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.
I like that, even though I think I read somewhere that the original source of that quote was actually talking about getting drunk. Heh-heh-heh. Well, the point is...

Full immersion in your craft leads to mastery. Eminem is a master in the purest sense of the word, and I feel like his lyrics have a sense of justice, and even righteousness in them. Is it not just for the best rapper to have so massively out-sold everyone else?

Anyway, I'm somewhat calm now. Going to try to

 

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[throttleforward]

@Ubermensch I wouldn't take away that you're crazy. It's just that in order to succeed in business, you have to get your mind in the right space.

My recommendation to you is:
1) keep posting here - writing can be very cathartic on its own, plus you can see that the collective "we" does care about your outcome
2) get regular exercise - studies have shown that exercise in combination with talk therapy is more effective than taking antidepressants
3) get some counseling from a professional. You don't have to be crazy to get counseling. I get counseling myself, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Mental health maintenance is just as important as physical health maintenance, and we all know that we should be seeing medical professionals when we aren't sick (e.g. regular check ups, etc.) in order to help prevent us from getting sick.

 

[MorgothBauglir]

So your friend is a young millionaire and he drinks heavily because of all the pain he's in, and you still think making money is the answer to your problems?