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Jeff Noel

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I am an action faker.

The moment I think I do something useful to free myself from my self-enduced, painful environment, it's:

  • Not really useful
  • Giving me a false sense of satisfaction
  • Making me stop working towards a better life.
What is happening in my life (which is what was happening 2 years ago, 6 months ago, etc.) is all because of me, of my lack of action.

I need to get out of this. f*ck, why am I so weak ?
 

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njord

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I know this wont help but im kinda in the same situation:happy:

Main problem is i dont know exacty which way to go
 

NateKruse

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What is your Why?

Write out the reasons why you want to change your life. From there you can figure out the what and the how.
 

Blu H

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To mention the words of the wise @Andy Black who have you helped? If there's a quality most of us wannabe FastLaner have... is being self-conscious... so that question WILL stop us dead in our tracks if something is unclear about our vision!

The beauty of truthfully answering this question... is that it will help you forge a path! Once that path is laid out... Then it will be about your ability to execute.

Then if your execution fails... you'll know why... and pick that skill up ==> then it's rinse & repeat til you get your Home Run!

However This whole shabang starts with Who Have you Helped!
 
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Jeff Noel

Jeff Noel

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@NateKruse

I want to feel useful

Useful for others, I want my lfie to have a meaning that is not "patch this bug ASAP and do it again tomorrow - Oh and no, you can't leave early this friday". Which leads to...

I want freedom
  • I want to manage my own time
    • I want to be able to spend some of that free time with people I love instead of faking smiles when meeting unknown colleagues.
  • I want financial freedom (slightly)
    • I do not want to have wonder if I can afford those extra fruits every Sunday at the grocery store..
    • I don't care about being a millionaire, I just want to be stress-free financially.
  • I just want to live my life instead of staring at my life passing by.
I watched the Matrix (the first movie) last week. Never watched it before. I feel like I'm just getting controlled by those AI robots in the movie (hello Unscripted).

I feel like 99% of people are just in the same state as I am, but unaware of the struggle and stuck in a false sense of happiness, and it's depressing as f*ck.

I've always felt like society itself was just a golden cage, but with the whole shit show going on at the office lately* really pushes the stress and frustration on another level.

*We are 3 developers. The most experienced one is going on a burnout, he's meeting the doc wednesday. We don't even know 50% of what he knows about our custom framework. We're with new managers that don't know how things work here at all, so we're pretty much left on our own. The mindsets are all different in the "team" if we can call it that. There's no cohesion.
 

WinYourself

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It's not an matrix like event, where you pop a pill and your life changes to the better.

It can take 5-10 years of targeted daily effort.

Small simple tasks executed every single day add up over time to exceptional success.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/159315724X/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

To select the tasks, ask yourself what can make everything else either easier or unnecessary. Then do exactly this. Without exception. Start your day working on it for the first four hours without distraction.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1885167776/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

If you're already running a business, ask yourself every day which tasks could potentially double your revenue. Then focus on those. No action fakes possible with this task selection question. Can't double revenue with a new business card or logo.
 

Greg R

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I need to get out of this. F*ck, why am I so weak ?
You're asking yourself the wrong questions bro.

Start asking forward-looking questions.

"What will it take to go to $1,000/ month, $20,000/ month or $100,000/ month."

"What habits do I need to change?"

"What beliefs do I need to assess?"

Only by finding the right questions to ask yourself will you solve your problem.
 

Mattie

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I am an action faker.

The moment I think I do something useful to free myself from my self-enduced, painful environment, it's:

  • Not really useful
  • Giving me a false sense of satisfaction
  • Making me stop working towards a better life.
What is happening in my life (which is what was happening 2 years ago, 6 months ago, etc.) is all because of me, of my lack of action.

I need to get out of this. F*ck, why am I so weak ?
You're not weak. You have to let go of the past, stay present and focus on what you can do right now to build the future you desire to achieve. Let go of the concept of failure. Train your mind to be a maverick in any situation or circumstances. Do something different than what you did before. Adapt, adjust, and execute. The old chapters of your life in the past. I'm sure you're a different person today. You gained wisdom, knowledge, and insight in the situation. What you do right now is what matters. Not yesterday.
 

Roli

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I am an action faker.

The moment I think I do something useful to free myself from my self-enduced, painful environment, it's:

  • Not really useful
  • Giving me a false sense of satisfaction
  • Making me stop working towards a better life.
What is happening in my life (which is what was happening 2 years ago, 6 months ago, etc.) is all because of me, of my lack of action.

I need to get out of this. F*ck, why am I so weak ?
Try reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, it will help you start new habits, which in turn will change your identity and get you out of your rut.
 

Mattie

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MJ DeMarco

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Are you reflecting from a job standpoint? Or do you have a business, side hustle, or other?

Or are you in idea mode?

Just curious to your current circumstances that caused you to identify as an action-faker.
 
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Jeff Noel

Jeff Noel

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Are you reflecting from a job standpoint? Or do you have a business, side hustle, or other?

Or are you in idea mode?

Just curious to your current circumstances that caused you to identify as an action-faker.
My idea is already found. I'm in the process of making a MVP... which is the step I'm stuck at since December 2018. Why ? Because I haven't put down the work.

I consider all this time as faked actions, because everytime I would make a step forward, I realize I would pat myself on the back and give myself a treat by wasting time elsewhere: gaming, browsing the web, etc.

I trick myself into believing that I'm changing, when I'm just at the beginning of creating a habit. I shouldn't congratulate myself that soon, I should be planning for the next task... otherwise, I'll keep being the rat in this unending race.

Every "good" habit I have tried to include in my life had slowly been pushed away and has been replaced by my old habits. This includes working on my business idea to make it an actual business.

I play video games 4+ hours per day, yet I'm justifying this by telling myself I'll become somebody on the streaming scene - I'm not even streaming 80% of the time ! No gaming tonight. No gaming tomorrow. Enough.

Had I been using managing my time adequatly, that MVP would already be something. It would be on another level. I would've already read your upcoming book and it's not even out yet. I would be in shape already.

I'm taking a look at my accountability thread with disgust - my tasks were all fairly easy, yet I've dropped most of them already:
*Finish reading Unscripted (I don't remember which chapter I'm at, didn't read last week).
*Workout X times/week (I don't remember exactly when I did my workout for the last time)
*Work on my MVP/business idea at least 15 minutes everyday. (Just did, but I should be doing that consistently and constantly, this should be my main focus everyday !)

Fairly simple, right ? I think I passed 6 hours total on that MVP, with 4 being today after posting this thread. I figured cyber-slaps are hard to give and that I should focus back on changing my life for the better. I've been relying on someone else all my life - parents, family, boss, colleagues, etc. when all did time, I'm the only one able to change things for the better.

I'm scared this sick a$$ reply will only motivate me for the night. I'm scared tomorrow that motivation will be gone. That's why I believe I'm weak, I'm scared of myself and facing the truth about my habits.

Sorry if it doesn't make sense, English is my second language.

You're asking yourself the wrong questions bro.

Start asking forward-looking questions.

"What will it take to go to $1,000/ month, $20,000/ month or $100,000/ month."

"What habits do I need to change?"

"What beliefs do I need to assess?"

Only by finding the right questions to ask yourself will you solve your problem.
That's the thing Greg, I found the right questions 2 months ago. I just put them aside as soon as I got back into my comfy bad habit.

There's so much I need to change and I'm not scared of changing, I'm scared of staying the same for so long again.

That's why I believe I'm weak: I've always fell back down to my bad habits. There's no cheat code to prevent that, right ? ;) I've always had it too easy (and in a sense I'm thankful for my easy life), and I think this is my main weakness.

You're not weak. You have to let go of the past, stay present and focus on what you can do right now to build the future you desire to achieve. Let go of the concept of failure. Train your mind to be a maverick in any situation or circumstances. Do something different than what you did before. Adapt, adjust, and execute. The old chapters of your life in the past. I'm sure you're a different person today. You gained wisdom, knowledge, and insight in the situation. What you do right now is what matters. Not yesterday.
You're right. Read above though. I tend to always lose focus on the right things. I'm fighting against myself, I just don't know how to beat the past - for good.

Thanks everyone who posted, I'm going through all the posts ASAP and you all should receive a reply soon.
 

socaldude

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It does seem like you are very dissatisfied with yourself and life.

This is how I felt when I lived with my parents. Browsed the web, depressed, broke, ate junk food and just in general did nothing.

I think this lack of purpose and motivation comes from a lack of self-awareness.

I started making progress when I started meditating and journaling.

No, I didn't start doing it cause other successful people do it, I started doing it because I felt like I needed to come to peace with my own mind. I wasn't experiencing the clarity I think I needed to make progress.

Buddha says that we are so fixated with external desires that we fail to see what is right in front of us in our own mind. We fail to see just how mechanical our lives are. You need to "catch yourself in the act" so to speak.

These negative, unproductive behaviors will continue in perpetuity unless you come to terms with them.
 

Bryaninbangkok

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I swear by a daily checklist and journal, keep hammering away getting as many tasks as you can and keep improving the daily checklists. You will create big things with daily small things. Other posts above have mentioned this with the compounding effect. Today i got 7 out of 12 done because I had to go to hospital for a checkup, but i made sure my education was last today and my money tasks (trades) were done.
 

Thinh

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Hey @Jeff Noel

Maybe you should consider this: your desire is not strong enough. And if it's not strong enough, there's nothing you can do to change things.

No matter how many books you read. No matter how many productivity techniques you try.

Here's an incredible thing I read not long ago: You are not the highest version of yourself you can think of, you are the lowest version of yourself you can tolerate.

If your life is how it is right now, it's because you tolerate it.
How about people spitting on your face everyday? This wouldn't happen, because you (hopefully) would not tolerate it.

Maybe you need your f*ck THIS event. Usually, that's when you can't tolerate your current situation anymore. The moment you stop tolerating your situation, it will change. It's not a matter of having the right information, or any secret.

I know I said books are not the most important, but still, I strongly suggest you take a look at The Subtle Art of Not Giving a f*ck.

In the end it's not what you want that might make a difference for you, but what you don't want anymore.

Cheers.
 

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@Jeff Noel I know your problem about gaming. The only solution I see is quit playing games altogether. A few days ago I decided to block everything that made me lazy and it has been a nice experience this far. I blocked chess, I blocked Anime, I deleted League of Legends, I blocked manga, I blocked twitch, I blocked youtube. Maybe you ask yourself what should I do when I'm not working then. What I have been doing is playing the piano and drawing.

THE STORY — Burn The Ship Read this article about burning the boat a legend from 1519 that story did it for me. Well, it has been 4 days but it has the best days of my life thus far.
 
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Jeff Noel

Jeff Noel

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ask yourself what should I do when I'm not working then
The answer is: working on my business everyday, for longer. It's also letting me allocate time to workout longer.

Let's do this.
 

John F.

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When it hurts bad enough, you will figure out a way to stop wasting time on things that aren't moving you forward toward your goals. Until then, it's going to be a back and forth battle.
 

Wiezel

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Very similar situation.
I do want to change, I do want my own business! But.. I'm satisfied how it is right now.

Bad habit and as long I'm satisfied nothing will change. Not sure how to get out of it though.
 

A way of life

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The answer is: working on my business everyday, for longer. It's also letting me allocate time to workout longer.

Let's do this.
I would say the better way of thinking about it is Success and habits are more about what you need to stop doing than start doing. I would highly recommend you to stop playing games altogether or every day will be a battle. When you have no other choice than working on your business everything becomes easier. Feeling tired? It's either working on my business or staring at a wall. Feeling like you wont get anything done? Is either working on your business or staring at a wall. Don't give yourself other choices. That being said you shouldn't and don't have to work on your business every waken hour you can do other stuff also but remember that those things can't be things you feel like doing when you should be working. For me, It's piano and drawing I don't feel a need to do them when I need to do other things but after a long day, I have other things to do.
 

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A way of life

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When it hurts bad enough, you will figure out a way to stop wasting time on things that aren't moving you forward toward your goals. Until then, it's going to be a back and forth battle.
I understand how you feel the truth is it probably will never feel bad enough. You may have moments weeks when it feels that bad but they may not last.
 

NMdad

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Pre-decide what you're going to do (and when, like pre-schedule time blocks for those actions), then just do the action. Don't think about it, otherwise doubt sets in and you just won't do it. Be a robot & just do what you pre-decided you'd do.
 

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@Jeff Noel

Weakness is not the same as “internal drive”. A weak man would not post his own vulnerabilities, a honest man would. Well done.

DRIVE not motivation?

Do you have the drive inside?
*To sell the gaming console
*To take one small action step
*To not go crazy changing everything in one night

*There will be many answers on here (as many people will care about your post)...

At the end of the day even with all this advice, only you can get out of the bed putting 2 feet on the floor and get going.

See @Andy Black thread on this too:

Cal Newport podcast: Digital Minimalism

As far as your job goes, less is more. Meaning don’t take anything too personal right now, say less, do the right thing at the right time for the right reason and this too shall pass.

PS - breathe, a lot.
 

NMdad

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You might consider building in more accountability--accountability partners, using Stickk.com, etc.

Without a boss, it can be easy to slack off. Speaking from experience. :)
 

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