I don't wanna make this thread, I hate not being useful giving value. I try to create more and consume less. I visualized myself writing a Journey doing my projects here on the Forum, instead, I'm writing this asking for feedback and advice.
I live in a Shithole nation so even basic things like buying a computer is a Headache. And after several Years without a proper machine... I finally made it.
I was really excited, hyped and with a lot of ideas in order to execute now that I have more freedom to do things than before I was unable to. Things like Video Editing, Game Engines, Photoshop & Illustrator, Play Videogames, programs like Fl Studio, Blender and whatnot.
Again, I was really Happy and Excited about achieving my Goal, Live the dream of finally having the machine I always wanted.
But now... It's not like I imagined, something feels off. I fought so hard to have this (I mean the f*cking National Bank made a Mistake and I had to fight to get my money back and going through a lot of bullshit like this in order to buy my laptop)
But now all the emotion is gone, is not like I think it would be. I feel Depressed, Overwhelmed, I tried to even play the videogames that I always wanted to play... but I still feel empty. I'm more capable and more comfortable, sure, but my state of mind is f*cked up.
Everything is going well, and I should be Motivated and Inspired to Execute and become Fastlane, but instead I don't wanna make the projects I planned. Idk if this is an execution problem, mindset or whatever.
I can Run Any Video Game in the world, But I don't wanna Play Video Games. I feel like I'm wasting my time and I get bored.
I can run any software in the world, but I don't know what to do and even If I knew, I wanna do nothing.
I spend a lot on this and I don't wanna use it anymore. I'm really grateful for it, but I feel dull, overwhelmed and lost at the same time.
Now I just wanna drink Coffee or eat, and just do nothing and watch the paint dry (literally), no smartphone, no books, no computer.
Is this temporary? How can I fix this? Is my identity changing? Did something wrong?
I live in a Shithole nation so even basic things like buying a computer is a Headache. And after several Years without a proper machine... I finally made it.
I was really excited, hyped and with a lot of ideas in order to execute now that I have more freedom to do things than before I was unable to. Things like Video Editing, Game Engines, Photoshop & Illustrator, Play Videogames, programs like Fl Studio, Blender and whatnot.
Again, I was really Happy and Excited about achieving my Goal, Live the dream of finally having the machine I always wanted.
But now... It's not like I imagined, something feels off. I fought so hard to have this (I mean the f*cking National Bank made a Mistake and I had to fight to get my money back and going through a lot of bullshit like this in order to buy my laptop)
But now all the emotion is gone, is not like I think it would be. I feel Depressed, Overwhelmed, I tried to even play the videogames that I always wanted to play... but I still feel empty. I'm more capable and more comfortable, sure, but my state of mind is f*cked up.
Everything is going well, and I should be Motivated and Inspired to Execute and become Fastlane, but instead I don't wanna make the projects I planned. Idk if this is an execution problem, mindset or whatever.
I can Run Any Video Game in the world, But I don't wanna Play Video Games. I feel like I'm wasting my time and I get bored.
I can run any software in the world, but I don't know what to do and even If I knew, I wanna do nothing.
I spend a lot on this and I don't wanna use it anymore. I'm really grateful for it, but I feel dull, overwhelmed and lost at the same time.
Now I just wanna drink Coffee or eat, and just do nothing and watch the paint dry (literally), no smartphone, no books, no computer.
Is this temporary? How can I fix this? Is my identity changing? Did something wrong?
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