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You are the average of the 5 people closest to you.
But nobody said those people have to be in the same room, or be your best friends or family. They are just the people with who you exchange ideas the most with.
So that means they can be forum members.
I’ve changed my identity and achieved goals as a result of this method twice and I am in the middle of doing it a third time.
1st time:
I’ve hated my family since I was 5-6 years old but never admitted it to myself until some years ago when I stumbled upon r/raisedbynarcissists .
Everything on that forum hit way too close to home and I realised just how f*cked up my family has been and still were. It made me aware of the bad programming that I grew up with, the limiting beliefs, broken self-esteem, victim mentality, social anxiety, abusive relationship and so on.
After a few months, where that forum was like a personal therapyst, I got over most of that bullshit and I did the scariest thing in the world to me. I fought back against them and cut them off completely. Now I live in another country and never been happier.
I changed from a victim of my past to something I don’t even have a word for.
2nd time: I grew tired of a shitty job and in my journey to find a ‘passion’ that would bring in money I found programming. As I was learning by myself, it became more and more apparent that it was just ‘too hard’.
I would learn, build something small, then apply to jobs. Day after day. But I wasn’t a programmer. I was just a guy who wanted to learn programming.
This is where new forums came in. I read thread after thread of how to learn to code, how to think like a coder, what great coders are, what to expect from code and coding jobs that eventually It seemed like I had been coding for years. I knew so much and I had associated so much with these people that I WAS ONE OF THEM. I was a programmer.
I started thinking like them, judging companies harshly as if I had been coding for years and had the luxury to turn down offers. And guess what? I was confident in my abilities and now I was actually getting interviews left and right. And I was passing them with ease. I no longer was a guy hoping to get a coding job. I was a software engineer looking for his first official paid work.
Anyway, I got a great job but now my soul is aching for something more so here I am.
But nobody said those people have to be in the same room, or be your best friends or family. They are just the people with who you exchange ideas the most with.
So that means they can be forum members.
I’ve changed my identity and achieved goals as a result of this method twice and I am in the middle of doing it a third time.
1st time:
I’ve hated my family since I was 5-6 years old but never admitted it to myself until some years ago when I stumbled upon r/raisedbynarcissists .
Everything on that forum hit way too close to home and I realised just how f*cked up my family has been and still were. It made me aware of the bad programming that I grew up with, the limiting beliefs, broken self-esteem, victim mentality, social anxiety, abusive relationship and so on.
After a few months, where that forum was like a personal therapyst, I got over most of that bullshit and I did the scariest thing in the world to me. I fought back against them and cut them off completely. Now I live in another country and never been happier.
I changed from a victim of my past to something I don’t even have a word for.
2nd time: I grew tired of a shitty job and in my journey to find a ‘passion’ that would bring in money I found programming. As I was learning by myself, it became more and more apparent that it was just ‘too hard’.
I would learn, build something small, then apply to jobs. Day after day. But I wasn’t a programmer. I was just a guy who wanted to learn programming.
This is where new forums came in. I read thread after thread of how to learn to code, how to think like a coder, what great coders are, what to expect from code and coding jobs that eventually It seemed like I had been coding for years. I knew so much and I had associated so much with these people that I WAS ONE OF THEM. I was a programmer.
I started thinking like them, judging companies harshly as if I had been coding for years and had the luxury to turn down offers. And guess what? I was confident in my abilities and now I was actually getting interviews left and right. And I was passing them with ease. I no longer was a guy hoping to get a coding job. I was a software engineer looking for his first official paid work.
Anyway, I got a great job but now my soul is aching for something more so here I am.
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