Hey! .... You tryin' to change your life today?

[Madame Peccato]

Great post. I'm training my mind to see things in a more positive / neutral way, it's a long road with all the negative conditioning that's happened in my life so far, but a couple months are already doing wonders.

I feel like I got lucky in this regard, I've never been someone who gets angry, I'm super chill and I tend to just not care much about what happens in my surroundings in general, unless it requires my specific attention.

Step 3 is particularly difficult to apply for me, but I'm trying my best to improve, and I urge everyone else to do so as well, it's crazy how much impact such a shift in mindset / point of view can have on life.

 

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[Olimac21]

Key #3

What does this mean to me?

Emotions are a muscle, train them or they will fail you.

Unless you take 100% responsibility for how you feel and what you experience then you will always be a victim of someone, something, or some circumstance.

What does this mean to you?

Firstly let's remember that we decide what something means to us in a moment. In fact, life's emotions our based on how we choose to interpret our own circumstance.

Did that guy purposely cut you off in traffic, or did he not see you? Does it even really matter..... what does that mean to you?

Are you going to carry that anger with you all day, or are you going to back off his bumper and your horn and recognize that in seconds, everything that just happen no longer matters and your life is still the exact same (pending you didn't actually get in an accident!)

So how do we become responsible with our own mental states?

Step 1 - Constantly recognize your own self talk or internal dialogue. Awareness is the hardest part of the process, but once you become aware things get easier and it isn't something you lose over time.

Step 2 - Ask yourself "what does this mean to me?" .... every time. This will force your brain back into an active mode and see things for what they really are and not what you are conditioned to think every time the situation happens or how you've seen others or your parents handle it.

Step 3 - Change the language you use with yourself. Remember that your mind(consciousness) can sell your brain (your bodies central station) anything you want it to. So why not start selling yourself a better story. You have 100% control of your mind, it's one of the only things you control every bit of in life.

Step 4 - Start letting life happen for you, and not TO you.


Action---> Take a second to think about a few things that have happened lately that you know you didn't react properly or had a bad outcome. What made you act the way that you did?... Was it something you decided in the moment or did you react the way you always have because that's "just what happens (what you do)"?

Man this is very good thank you for this incredible thread.

 

[LightHouse]

Great post. I'm training my mind to see things in a more positive / neutral way, it's a long road [I'm getting pretty far] with all the negative conditioning that's happened in my life so far, but a couple months are already doing wonders.

I feel like I got lucky in this regard, I've never been someone who gets angry, I'm super chill and I tend to just not care much about what happens in my surroundings in general, unless it requires my specific attention.

Step 3 is particularly difficult to apply for me, but I'm trying[doing] my best to improve, and I urge everyone else to do so as well, it's crazy how much impact such a shift in mindset / point of view can have on life.

A few simple word changes can have a massive impact as well. I am sure you have come a long way abd that path still left to go can be as long or as short as you make it. Excellent work so far on yourself, it's impressive from what you have written here.

 

[SDE]

Excellent thread!

Whenever something bad happened to me, I always carried that vibe around me the whole day. (Esp. Anger)

This affected how I performed during the day and I always ended up doing half-assed work. But worst than that, I would be dwelling on that 'particular incident' for a long time and mentally repeating to myself how it was the other person who did/spoke wrong. It drained my energy and I felt sick of it.

Last week, when I was waiting to board a bus during heavy traffic, a guy right behind me made an unwanted comment along the lines of,

"Yo, move the fu*k out of my way"

This made me angry and I shot back. Normally, as I mentioned above, I would have carried this vibe the whole day while hurting myself mentally during the process.

But on that day something flipped. Instead of thinking about the variety of ways I should have insulted him, I asked myself,

What if, for a minute, I put myself in his shoes?

He might have been already late to wherever he is going.

Suddenly I felt a sense of relaxation sweeping through my whole body. I didn't try to dwell on it nor carried that anger around me.

That's when I realized the power of the saying,

You cannot control the circumstances always but you can always control your reaction towards it.


Thank You @LightHouse for sharing these golden nuggets with us.

@Andy Black @AllenCrawley @MJ DeMarco - Doesn't this thread already qualified for NOTABLE?



* I sincerely apologize for my English. I am working on it every day.

 

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[LightHouse]

Excellent thread!

Whenever something bad happened to me, I always carried that vibe around me the whole day. (Esp. Anger)

This affected how I performed during the day and I always ended up doing half-assed work. But worst than that, I would be dwelling on that 'particular incident' for a long time and mentally repeating to myself how it was the other person who did/spoke wrong. It drained my energy and I felt sick of it.

Last week, when I was waiting to board a bus during heavy traffic, a guy right behind me made an unwanted comment along the lines of,

"Yo, move the fu*k out of my way"

This made me angry and I shot back. Normally, as I mentioned above, I would have carried this vibe the whole day while hurting myself mentally during the process.

But on that day something flipped. Instead of thinking about the variety of ways I should have insulted him, I asked myself,

What if, for a minute, I put myself in his shoes?

He might have been already late to wherever he is going.

Suddenly I felt a sense of relaxation sweeping through my whole body. I didn't try to dwell on it nor carried that anger around me.

That's when I realized the power of the saying,

You cannot control the circumstances always but you can always control your reaction towards it.


Thank You @LightHouse for sharing these golden nuggets with us.

@Andy Black @AllenCrawley @MJ DeMarco - Doesn't this thread already qualified for NOTABLE?



* I sincerely apologize for my English. I am working on it every day.

Great examples, also great English (no need for the sub titles here!). It sounds like you have a great perspective on situations. I would also add that at times you don't even need to show empathy, it's simply a matter of asking yourself what does this situation really mean to yourself? Most of the times things that happen have no long term effect on our lives, but we quickly make them stick around for a while by absorbing the negative emotion from it and carrying it around.

You can start and stop doing that at any time you choose, and that is the beauty of human nature.

 

[LightHouse]

Key # 4

Everyone wants to be someone...

If you have ever been around "motivated" people, you know how energizing it can be. Sometimes it's not that it even energizes you, but it simply just doesn't drain you.

Wouldn't it be great if we could experience that more often?

What could you achieve if you were around motivated people each day?

So I get the question about motivation a lot given the work I do. I will get into the details of that later but this post is about a specific piece of that puzzle, your environment.

You become a product of your environment, this is age old advice, right?

A lot of the times we know these things but we do not set out to change them or take action on them. So that is what we are going to do today. We are going to learn a piece of how to create and foster an environment for your own personal gain.... but we are going to do it, by building other peoples drive first.

Aka we are going to plant fruit trees all around us and grow them, so eventually they provide back to us over and over again and we never go hungry.

Let's get straight to it.... Everyone wants to be someone...

Everyone you encounter has a need for significance, whether that be directed to something positive or not so positive, the result they are after is the same.

The challenge is, not everyone is you. Not everyone has or knows what their dreams, visions, or goals are and they believe they do not know how to figure it out.

Here is a simple tool that YOU can use, to help them realize their target.

Gain rapport with someone if you do not have it already (friends, family, and coworkers already have it with you) and give them this simple sentence to complete.

"If I had ______________, Then I would ________________."

Their answer will start them down the path to realizing what they want, and what they need to get there. The strategy to achieve it is the easy part.

Here are some examples to get your mind tuned:

If I had no job and all my time , Then I would spend it with my kids at the park all day enjoying their youth.

If I had lots of money , Then I would rent a super yacht and sail the Caribbean.

If I had a better physique or image of myself , Then I would get an amazing partner and have someone to share life's experience with.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Once people have a vision of where they want to go, they can finally take the steps to get there. You've given them direction and with that and the momentum of something new, you automatically create an environment of growing people that are making moves.

You might encounter that it doesn't work well for everyone at the current time, not all seeds are planted at the right time in the right environment, but eventually you will grow a forest around you.

ACTION STEPS: Reach out to a someone, anyone... even the person sitting next to you, and give them this simple exercise and repeat their answer back to them. (then share yours after)

Do not seed your answers to them yet, but have yours ready so you can share yours with them after. After all, you need the same clear target for yourself as well.

A GPS can't give you the most efficient directions without knowing the destination. Don't leave it to chance!

 

[Siddhartha]

Interesting that I was finding your posts in ancient threads this morning and you suddenly come back to post gold nuggets in this thread.

These are excellent, bite-sized guides on framing and thankfulness, thanks Lighthouse

 

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[LightHouse]

Interesting that I was finding your posts in ancient threads this morning and you suddenly come back to post gold nuggets in this thread.

These are excellent, bite-sized guides on framing and thankfulness, thanks Lighthouse

Funny to hear that, thanks for sharing it with me! With the new forum layouts and ease of use and access I am trying to contribute more in written form with posts going forward. I appreciate the encouragement

 

[LightHouse]

Updated the first post to include jump links, will continually update that so this thread is useful for new folks as well!

 

[LightHouse]

If you are an entrepreneur it comes with a certain amount of leadership responsibility whether it be internal, external, or both.

Now is your time to STEP UP and be a leader in uncertain times. It is time to reach out to your friends, family, community and reassure them that things are going to be ok, and you are going to survive to see another day.

Ask them if they need anything, or if there is anything you can do to help put them in a better mental place. Leadership is often about servitude. This is the best and easiest time for you to serve without exposing yourself to risks. Simple outreach can do a lot to fill both others needs for connection as well as yours.

CALL SOMEONE TODAY and ask if they need anything. RE-ASSURE them that you all will get through this TOGETHER.

This too shall pass....

 

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[LightHouse]

Wow no posts since 2020...

Bringing this back to the top because I have a ton to add here that may not fit it's own thread and also expose the highly relevant content already in here.

Also updated my avatar for the first time in a decade. worked to keep the green haired essence of the clown.... now it's just a real clown