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Discussion in 'General Mindset, Motivation, Beliefs' started by LaVanesse_23, Jul 20, 2018.

  1. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    @MJ DeMarco

    Hi MJ,
    I'm Vanessa from Mauritius.(Please excuse me if my English is not perfect) 24years old. Worker (or should I say Trading my 5 for 2!), Mom of a cute 1 and a half yo boy and happily married.

    Well first of all, I'd like to say something about your profile picture: I thought it was a picture of you.
    But then, when I was searching for your content on YT, I found your videos and I was like "Man! Such a gorgeous, handsome, superb millionnaire sitting ALONE in this huge mansion with that beautiful mountain view behind him."

    Why did you choose that profile picture? (I have nothing for or against it) but just wanted to know, what does it represent/mean?

    Now let's get back to what I intended to write here.

    In 2017, around July, I discovered that my life sucked: lost all my friends, just had my son, was still living in that single room where I sleep, cook, eat, look after my son, my relationship with my husband was going nowhere great, had no meaningful goal in life, felt like sh*t, hated my job even more because it eats up most of my resources(time, energy, attention). I started feeling very Depressed.

    That's when I discovered The Secret ,Vishen Lakhiani and his company Mindvalley.
    (He could be qualified as a self-development guru because he sells courses, quests and other online programmes about Self-Development.)

    Since then, I got an awakening. Suddenly, what felt normal to me became a realization like fish becomes aware of water. That was my awakening.

    I started reading that guy Vishen's book The Code of The Extraordinary Mind, in which I got to discover how I "operate", what is a belief system and that I have one, my values, my perceptions,...
    Mostly, what the book teaches is that we've been indoctrinated with Brules(Bullsh*t Rules) that truncate our experience of life(our reality)
    I also discovered my Purpose and I'm on that journey to making my purpose my reality.
    Long story short, my life has been changing. I've become accountable: when I could identify my patterns of behaviour through past experiences, I could change my reactions to new situations and change my perceptions. Life is is no more a routine to me.

    Also,I was very religious before. Wherever there would be talks about Jesus, I would be there. As a Faithful Follower of the Christ. Jesus was My Spouse. I viewed millionaires as greedy sinners who would burn in hell (Money is the root of all evil. Who wants evil?) and I was praying for God to forgive them. I viewed bad experiences as God testing my Faith. I even was guilty when I started dating with my husband because to me, it felt like I was cheating on Jesus!!! My highest goal in life until then was to be a nun.

    Now that I think of it again, all this did not make me a better, kinder, happier, more fulfilled person. I never even had breakthroughs. I don't remember myself having A-ha moments and learning to live a whole new way: MY WAY.

    Because I had rules to follow from that big book because everyone was following it. Moreover, I thought I had no chance in life because I've been told that I'm a sinner. My fault: I was believing and following all this blindly. I did not question any of the system, until I read that book.

    From that point, I also realized that I have the right(it's my birthright) to be happy and to be living my life the way I want it. That there's nothing wrong in having tons of money and driving sports car.

    Infact, that book helped me to redefine every aspect of my life(from what I eat, to my parenting, to my financial life, my social life, adventures, why and how I pray God(and is He really as the others claim), how I deal with my emotions, my environment, how I love, make love and how I view my self ).
    I learnt that I could redesign how I wanted these to be. I've been re-building my life and myself ever since.
    I have to admit that I subscribed for a 30-days free trial and absorbed as much content from the Teachers featured in the programmes. Then, on 29th day, I cancelled my subscription.

    But from what I learnt and applied, some helped me change my life.
    This was not some Self-Help garbage but rather a Disrupting Book whereby the author would be encouraging me to re-question everything and do things my way. It's not a Fix-It book or a 'Here's-what-you-should-do' book but rather a 'Oh you got a lot of sh*t going on in your life, let's see the roots of it!'(Breaking everything into pieces to see where it went wrong) That took me a lot of time nut was so necessary.

    Then, I got to hear about your books: MFL and Unscripted. And I haven't yet finished reading the MFL.
    TMFL made me re-question what I'm doing with my money, for what reasons and how it affects my Quality of Life.
    In some situations, I am a Sidewalker while in others I'm a Slowlaner. But either ways, I'm trying to get to Fastlane.
    What I did not know was that it takes effort and process (not time, but still there is a price to pay) to get there. I am really taking time to absorb the information and re-question my ways towards life.

    I even had to re-read some paragraphs and some chapters because the content was unbelievably honest and true. But still I had difficulties to grab the information and even to picture myself in the Fastlane.

    But here is where it gets even more confusing, you said to not believe in Gurus and what they proclaim as they are just attempting at making money. And I do recognize that there are many liars doing this.

    However, from my experience with that Disrupting Book, I am a firm believer in Personal Growth necessary for Business Growth.)

    Can I conceal Entrepreneurship and Self-Development? What about The Secret?

    I have to admit that if I had not read that DB, I would still be saying that your book is one of Satan's malicious tricks to tempt us, Daughters and Sons of God. And that you must have signed a pact with the Devil(selling your soul) to get all your wealth. I wouldn't even open your book, then!

    I also have to say that I no more follow him and what he's doing. I'm not part of the Mindvalley Tribe and never attended any of his events. I have become an Implementer: I have a rule that if I learn something new that can improve an area of my life, I implement it for 20days to see the difference, then decide to keep it or drop it!

    I also notice that whatever guru, system, government or business that exists, their success is due to their ability of "capturing" or "trapping" our faith. When we believe in what they are offering: even if it's an illusion. (Am I right here?)

    So, please can you clarify on this confusion that I'm having? How to get over it? What is wrong in my perception? How should I then view these concepts?

    Feel free to correct me wherever I am wrong. This will help me. Be blunt if need be.

    To be honest, I love the fact that you address yourself to us readers in that blunt way!
     
    ZF Lee, Aragorn, Roli and 5 others like this.
  2. AllenCrawley
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    AllenCrawley Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    If you truly receive value and they deliver on their promises what's it matter? The warning of gurus is more targeting the ones that are fake gurus or gurus that don't deliver on what they promise.

    Some would say MJ is a guru. I see him as an anti-guru guru ;)

    For further reading that teaches you how to spot gurus and the tactics they use:
    GOLD! - Guru Cults Exposed: The Tactics "Experts" Use To Pull You In & Suck You Dry

    (MJ has multiple posts there regarding the subject.)
     
  3. Arun Siva
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    Arun Siva aspiring 大君 of the bourgeoisie Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    The confusion is relating someone as a guru - you should just take them for face value. You dont have to fall at the feet of something written in print and thrown in your face due to crafty advertising. Every tom dick and harry (and sally) is a "guru" or a person that publishes something. There are a lot of f*ckers out here and most of them are bastards that arent worth listening or reading. you just do you and create your own system and principles and then rinse recycle repeat MJ's process (very simple 67 odd steps lol) and then just craft your own story; every story is different. no formula, no definitive theorems, no guru etc can chart a course or path for you. It is the chaos called life. There are very simple "constants" in money and wealth creation and that is simply value creation, nothing more nothing less. The metaphysics and the moral issues and debates can be tossed aside depending on the individuals markup; hence why vice and governments thrive despite moral bankruptcy etc etc.

    glad you changed your mind; there is a lot of crap out there and this is hte only cut rate blunt hard hitting book on the subject; there are many that replicate but there is only one FLF and mentality.
     
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  4. lowtek
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    lowtek Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Welcome aboard.

    My wife is from Mauritius. We did the ceremony / honeymoon there. Truly amazing destination that most of us in the States don't know about (I had no idea it existed prior to meeting her). Can't wait to go back and visit her folks.
     
  5. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    Not sure what picture you are referring to.

    Trust, but verify...
    Learn, test, experiment...

    Not all gurus are bad. Please don't attribute things I say as blanket, absolute statements.

    If a guru seminar opened your eyes, nothing I say should matter. And it shouldn't.

    We each respond in different ways.

    At the end of the day, trust, but verify. Be suspicious, but open-minded.

    Another author I'd recommend is Eckhart Tolle and his first 2 books which does a great job in bridging spirituality and religion, often citing prominent religious figures such as Budda and Jesus.

    Spiritual growth, personal growth, and financial growth can all peacefully coexist.
     
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  6. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Thank you for the link. I'm actually reading from there.got many answers.
     
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  7. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Totally agree. Thanks for the reply.

    Mostly,what I fear the most from gurus is that they so impose their ways and ideologies (indoctrination) that followers tend to forget to use their own critical thinking. And that's dangerous.
     
  8. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Oh how fantastic!

    Hope you’ll eventually visit the island sonner than you think
     
  9. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Thank you for replying.
    I was referring to your fastlane forum profile picture.
    At first i thought it was you in that Picture.
     
  10. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Yes, that is primarily how i proceed before interpreting any new concepts, especially if i have to implement them in my own life.

    Even while im reading the mfl,im documenting and introspecting before agreeing and implementing. Thats why it’s taking time for me to finish reading it.

    I just realised that i’ve asked this question from this inner fear that i have of getting indoctrinated like before. I dont ever want to go back to this state.
    I think i really wanted this validation from you all while that should not be the case. And now that i think of it, it wasnt necessary,i just needed to acknowledge my truth and my way.
    So i need to work on that.
     
  11. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    that’s really a coïncidence that you are recommending his books.i received two of his Books for my birthday and never opened them.specifically because i saw from reviews that he talks about religious figures.i always do some research prior to listening of reading new concepts.and i did not want to get into all this jesus thing again.

    Now that you’ve recommended ET’s books, i’’ll give it a try.

    Thank you.
     
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  12. Aragorn
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    Aragorn New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Cheers Vanessa

    I hope you'll allow me to step into this discussion, although you addressed this message to MJ personally.

    I am twice your age and grew up in a different corner of the world. I wasn't brought up in a comparable religious setting, but had my own backpack of emotional turmoil to sort out. Interestingly, you're at an age when many people start asking questions like the one's you're asking. At least this is my personal, totally subjective observation.

    In summary I want you to know the following:
    1. You are not alone with your doubts and your searching for your path. Personally, it took me very many years to realize what my what is.
    2. Personal growth comes in many different ways. For me it was a lot of reading, trial and error. Once you've looked into a bunch of ideas and philosophies you'll discover that there is a high level of redundancy around. From this point on you'll immediately be able to judge "new" ideas/philosophies/systems for personal growth. From my point of view most of them are crap. However, what counts is that you pick out what is most helpful for you and what makes the most sense. Don't bother putting together your own puzzle.
    3. Take your time. Insight cannot be forced. You're only 24 years old. You do have enough time to reflect and learn and grow.
    4. Don't copy anything or anyone. You're unique. What worked for someone else may not work for you. In my opinion this is the "problem" with religions as institutions. They are organized to serve very many followers and by definition contain stuff one does not resonate with.

    I wish you all the best and lots of fun on your way. Enjoy the ride!
     
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  13. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Thank you for stepping into the conversation. Im glad you did.

    Your comment comes at a very much needed time.

    I just realized that it's okay to do whatever suits me in terms of personal growth, because after all i got nothing to prove or hide from anyone, it's just between me and myself.

    As for the insight,you are right,these can't be forced.
    However, once it struck you,you can't pretend you didn't get it.

    When I posted this thread, it was with the intention of getting rid of this confusion. But after I read your comment what I understand mostly is that it's okay to feel confused, indeed it means there is kind of an inner struggle and something great is on its way. that I should deal with this, nobody can do this for me.

    Your reply helped me develop a great deal of acceptance and some resilience too.

    Thanks a lot.
     
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  14. Dylan Hobrecht
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    Dylan Hobrecht Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Being a fastlaner is different to say the least. Your responsible for the good and bad(everything)! It’s a switch in mentality as you’ve seen. It’s like being in control of change.

    They say life will change with or without you! “Its moving slow enough to seem as if it doesn’t matter but fast enough that in a few short years you could be left behind.”

    I’d say go to the recommended reads on the forum. Especially since your still stuck at the nine-to five. The books have tremendous value. Very awe inspiring!

    I’m reading one now and it’s where I had gotten the quote above. Mj has a keen eye.

    Also, your “twenty” days of testing an idea sounds useful. I already put an idea on my “D-day” app...I never tested ideas for myself soo I don’t think I really believed in them. This guy I’ve been following is very adamant about testing.

    It’s crazy how it worked for me. I got sucked into this guru cult-supposed, or what you’d actually think would be one. But he ended up being all about your well being, and personal growth.

    Well anyway, glad your here. You seem smart as I could ever think of being. Stay tuned in on the forum! it’s worth it!




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  15. Aragorn
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    Aragorn New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Cheers Vanessa

    Thanks for your nice words. Indeed you have started a journey - or process as MJ calls it. The journey can be long or short, but in any case should and will change you profoundly.

    For many years I felt like my horizon consisted of fog and nothing but fog. I instinctively knew that eventually I would lead a happy life in abundance. But for more than a decade I had no clue how I could get to this point. Whenever I thought of my future there was - nothing. On the one hand this frustrated me. On the other hand I knew I had to be patient and advanced on different fields. Not the least personal development.

    A few years back my wife and I were on board a plane to the US and I had a book with me. It was called "Brains versus Capital"; https://www.amazon.de/Brains-versus...&qid=1532535066&sr=1-3&keywords=günter+faltin). I skipped the onboard entertainment as well as sleep and was done upon arriving in San Francisco. This book changed my everything. It was clear for me to become an entrepreneur. I immediately realized that the fog I saw before my inner eye was neglect. I never ever wanted to run my own show. Why? Because my Dad ran a small workshop - and did everything wrong one could possibly do wrong. Even from a very early age I had realized that the way he ran his company was a sure way to bankruptcy. Instead of retiring wealthy he busted his a$$ off to pay back his debt - and died six months later. Great, I thought. I was rather aiming for academic credentials and for many years was a rather successful scientist. As much as I loved and still do love science I hated science as a business. Science today is a rat race that kills creativity and thinking out of the box. Additionally you live from paycheck to paycheck on temporary contracts. One year here, two years there. One is constantly on alert mode.

    You may imagine that realizing the fact that my path would be to follow in my Dad's footprints, albeit hopefully more successful, took a while to digest. Then, one day my wife nagged me on her itching scalp. For the umpienth time she asked me to mix her a remedy for her hair problems (btw, I am a chemist by training). My standpoint was always that I wouldn't be able to compete with research departments of the large players. When I finally gave in and looked closely at the list of ingredients I almost vomited. This was the moment I found my what.

    Long story short: With these thoughts I want to hint you toward i) it is okay if you need time to find your way and ii) salvation may come from totally unexpected sources.

    With best wishes
    Holger


    Cheers Vanessa

    I hope you'll allow me to step into this discussion, although you addressed this message to MJ personally.

    I am twice your age and grew up in a different corner of the world. I wasn't brought up in a comparable religious setting, but had my own backpack of emotional turmoil to sort out. Interestingly, you're at an age when many people start asking questions like the one's you're asking. At least this is my personal, totally subjective observation.

    In summary I want you to know the following:
    1. You are not alone with your doubts and your searching for your path. Personally, it took me very many years to realize what my what is.
    2. Personal growth comes in many different ways. For me it was a lot of reading, trial and error. Once you've looked into a bunch of ideas and philosophies you'll discover that there is a high level of redundancy around. From this point on you'll immediately be able to judge "new" ideas/philosophies/systems for personal growth. From my point of view most of them are crap. However, what counts is that you pick out what is most helpful for you and what makes the most sense. Don't bother putting together your own puzzle.
    3. Take your time. Insight cannot be forced. You're only 24 years old. You do have enough time to reflect and learn and grow.
    4. Don't copy anything or anyone. You're unique. What worked for someone else may not work for you. In my opinion this is the "problem" with religions as institutions. They are organized to serve very many followers and by definition contain stuff one does not resonate with.

    I wish you all the best and lots of fun on your way. Enjoy the ride!
     
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  16. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Thank you for sharing your story... That must have required a great deal of acceptance from you too.

    I hope you've been able to make peace with your Dad's story so that you can live yours to the fullest.
    Even back then, you already had this notion of Responsibility-Accountability.
    I've read a book by the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, he said : "We are the continuation of our parents." I'm sure you are better equipped to live entrepreneurship life in a way that frees you instead of traps you.

    Now I got to share something with you:
    Just after you told me this, I got another A-ha moment. I see this artwork from where I sit at work. It's written "True value is created with blood, sweat and commitment"
    I still remember when I joined this company, this artwork caught my eye and I would stare at it. I could not agree to what was written. I would think to myself something like "No, that's not true. As a human being, I don't have to create my value. because i'm already a being of value...etc". I really didn't "get" it because the mindset was just not there.

    But after I read about Relative Value from TMF. I understood that we, as entrepreneur need to create value for others (improve something, create something to help others).
    Today when I got to the office, I saw the artwork in a totally different new way. I was even smiling to it. During 4 years (that's even before my awakening), I was looking at a definition of process where value is created.

    So, yes, again I totally agree with you "salvation DOES come from totally unexpected sources".
     
  17. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    IMG_20180727_121002.jpg
     

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  18. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Yes, but not just that, we're also responsible for the actions we didn't do and for what we didn't know (This was the most difficult to accept)
    That gave me an idea of how much control I have over my life but that I delegated so much until I forgot about it!
    I developed accountability in these two areas: actions not taken & things that I didn't know (This used to be my no.1 excuse, now it's my room for improvement)


    I just would like to know what is the title of the book from where you got that quote?

    Hope that testing ideas before adopting them will help you! My advice: don't be too strict with yourself, have fun with it, the habit will become more easily and naturally. But then over a period of time (twenty days for me), just step back and have a look at how it improved you or any aspect of your life, whether it's helping you on your journey

    Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment!
    This 'smartness' comes from the realization that introspection is the best place to start and to end your learning.
     
  19. Aragorn
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    Aragorn New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    We have discussed quite a bit of past situations, current changes and personal growth. What is your (entrepreneurial) dream? Do you have a concrete project in mind?
     
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  20. LaVanesse_23
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    LaVanesse_23 New Contributor

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    Yes of course. I do have an idea that has been keeping me up for some nights. I'm still working on it. It's just I don't know how to start it.

    I'll post a new thread about it in the next days, need to fine tune before posting.
    I'll make sure to tag you if you don't mind.

    Speak soon...

    Warm Regards
    Vanessa.
     
  21. Fox
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    Fox Moderator Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Its a natural instinct that is part of our make up. We are naturally tribal.

    Not every successful business uses it but many do cause it is what human naturally want. You want to be part of a team and you want your team to win. We only tend to notice it when its abused (gurus, bad government, cults) but its a normal function that allows humans to achieve so much.

    So I wouldn't put in effort into not being "tribal" but rather trying to pick better tribes. Work with your natural tendencies, not against. Get in with people who share the same goals as you, communities who hold themselves to higher values and help each other, productive and effective courses and groups etc.

    This forum is a great example of a healthy tribe where there is a huge amount of value with no alternative motive.
     
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  22. Aragorn
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    Aragorn New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    That's great! I'm curious to see what your plans are. Please go ahead and tag me.

    Best


    We have discussed quite a bit of past situations, current changes and personal growth. What is your (entrepreneurial) dream? Do you have a concrete project in mind?
     
  23. Dylan Hobrecht
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    Dylan Hobrecht Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    I'm very selfish, and never answered... Will write back as soon as I can!

    Have been pondering your text among others


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  24. ChrisV
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    ChrisV Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I’m sorry. Are you okay?

    +1 Tolle is my man. I experienced the state he talks about in his books once and it’s freaking nuts. Haven’t been able to get back there since though lol.
     
  25. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    That's too bad. That means your EGO (which is future/past oriented) is in full control.

    I'm there quite often to the point I'm starting pick up on energy (both positive and negative) of other living things. It's a mixed bag of emotions and honestly, can be a little unnerving.
     
    Tommo, lucasb, Dylan Hobrecht and 2 others like this.

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